A/N: This story actually is in commemoration of me getting a tattoo two days ago. First one ever and the line that kept on running through my head was "Don't tell me truth hurts little girl, 'Cause it hurts like hell" ... nothing to do with this story, but I'm not particularly fond of needles and getting a tattoo on one's shoulder blade (especially when one is very fair skinned) does indeed hurt like hell.

Well, I hope you enjoy my foray into parody/humor. No offense entended for all those who love Glinda.

Toto, Dorothy thought to herself with a grimace, has been in my room again! Everywhere Dorothy looked she could see signs of dog bites--on her shoes, her bed, her dresser, etc. "Oh, Toto!" she cried when she found her dog curled up in her closet, chewing on her favorite pair of shoes.

She picked him up and held him at arm's length, a frown on her face as Toto tried to appear innocent despite the strap of leather sticking out of his mouth. "Sometimes I really wish the Goblins would come and take you away Toto. Right now!"

Thunder crashed outside, causing Dorothy Gale to frown again and put her dog down saying, "I don't remember Auntie Em saying anything about a storm today."

Toto let out a small yelp of surprise as he was roughly grabbed by a pair of small, grubby hands. Dorothy turned to look at where her dog was supposed to be and she was only met by silence and darkness.

There was a noise behind her and when she turned she came face to face with a man. In her bedroom.

"Hello, Dorothy," he said with a condescending smirk.

"Who are you?" she said, her fear very evident in her voice as well as her eyes, "How do you know my name?"

Why must every time be the exact same thing, he asked himself inwardly as he smirked and replied, "I am the Goblin King."

"Oh," was all the teen could respond. She cleared her throat and added, "I'd like my dog back, please."

"What's said is said. Forget about the dog," he said in a rather arrogant tone.

"But I really want him back. Toto must be terribly frightened."

"Dorothy, I've brought you a gift," his hands moved and a crystal appeared.

"What is it?" she asked, entranced with how the light caught on the smooth surface as it moved across his hands and forearms.

"It's a crystal, nothing more. But if you turn it this way, it will show you your dreams. This is not a crystal for an ordinary girl that puts up with a dog chewing all of her shoes. Do you want it?"

Her eyes revealed how she so much wanted to say yes and accept his gift, but still she resolutely shook her head, "I'm sorry, but I really need my dog back. Where is he?"

The Goblin King sighed, biting back a growl of frustration about pigheaded teenage girls unable to keep their mouths shut. He pointed out the window, "He's there, in my castle."

Dorothy looked out the window and was quite shocked to find it wasn't her farm outside, but rather a huge maze, and in the center of it all she could see a castle. "What is it?"

"That, Dorothy, is the Castle Beyond the Goblin City." She turned at the sound of his voice to find him standing next to a thirteen-hour clock, "Do you still want to look for him?"

"I have to."

"Very well then, you have thirteen hours to solve the Labyrinth before your dog becomes mine forever."

After he had disappeared Dorothy looked disparagingly down at the Labyrinth before her, "Oh, I wish Glinda was here to help me!"


Glenda heard the wish of her friend, Dorothy and sighed, tsking as she went to see her brother about a certain dog and girl from Kansas.


The goblins in the throne room eyed the four legged creature suspiciously as it growled back at them, causing the group to jump back collectively for fear of the vicious looking teeth that creature sported. Jareth watched, only slightly amused at their antics, as he sat sprawled across his throne, one hand supporting his chin as his other tapped his riding crop on his boot.

He sat up slightly when he began to feel the presence of another's magic. He cocked his head to one side as the fragrance of snow and candy canes became more evident. Glinda. Why would his sister be visiting his kingdom when it wasn't the grand annual ball their parents made them go to? She never did care for his goblins - just as he had never cared for those damned happy munchkins.

Glinda popped in next to Toto, setting the dog more at ease with a familiar face around. She sighed in resignation as she realized the squishy substance under her heel was not something she wanted to be stepping in.

"Jareth," she looked up at her brother, "Why is Dorothy at the entrance to your labyrinth and why is Toto growling at your goblins?"

Jareth raised his eyebrows at his sister. "Isn't is obvious?" he asked. "She wished the poor pup away."

Glinda sighed, her obvious irritation causing all the goblins within a ten foot radius to scurry for cover. "Why must you always pick on my friends, Jareth? Don't you have your own mortal to torment?"

Jareth shook his head smugly, "Technically I'm not supposed to meet Sarah for another forty-five years - her father's not even out of diapers, yet. Now, if you don't mind, I have a runner to go torment."

He rose to leave the throne room, his sister's very unladylike growl meeting him as he disappeared in a spray of glitter dust. Glinda was not far behind him.


Dorothy was now fretting just inside the doorway into the Labyrinth. She looked both right and left before looking again at the looming wall in front of her. Why did she have to wish Toto away? Why did the Goblin King have to be real? It wasn't fair!


Jareth and Glinda rematerialized some yards away from Dorothy so as not to scare her senseless in the present state of affairs. Unfortunately for Jareth that meant that not only did they have to walk through the Labyrinth, but he had to listen to his sister complain and whine about how rude he was being by playing with her mortal friend without asking permission first.


The changeling watching the events laughed as Jareth was forced to return Dorothy and Toto to Kansas in order to maintain his sanity and the chaos of his kingdom.

With a smile Sarah turned to look at her husband, pleased he had let her see a piece of his past before he had met her. "I guess that makes you the Good Witch of the South, doesn't it, sweetheart?"

Jareth bristled at the title she had bestowed upon him. In a miffed tone he replied, "I prefer the term 'warlock'." A glint entered his eyes as an idea popped into his mind. Quick as lightning his demeanor changed and he added, "How about I show you just how good of a warlock I can be?"


A/N: Cop out ending, I know. I hope you liked it anyway. Reviews make the pain less noticable.

Promised expansion by Lixxle. Keep an eye out for it.