Everyone Loves Wheeljack!

By AutobotV

Note: AutobotV is my Username on Divientart! I am planning on cahnging my Username here too!

Wheeljack grumbled as he walked back to his workshop, clearly in a huff. As he passed fellow Autobots they noticed he was truly in a bad mood. In fact they almost saw storm clouds over his head. Wheeljack walked into his workshop and slammed the door causing a few items to fall off the shelf. He then slumped in his chair and growled.

'Average? Me? Average?' he yelled to himself.

Earlier on Arcee had come to visit from Cybertron to see how things were going for the Autobots on Earth. As they talked Jazz asked Arcee what see thought of the Autobots in the base. Feeling quite giddy she said that she thought Optimus Prime was a hunk, Jazz a pretty bot, Prowl was sexy, Blaster was good looking, Mirage was fine, Ironhide was hot and when she got to Wheeljack she muttered,

'He's…OK. Just average.'

Wheeljack dumped his face in his hands. Back on Cybertron he couldn't even get a girl, everyone else did but him! While everyone left to have some fun with the female robot they picked up he was always left behind. He grumbled to himself and didn't notice that Chip had entered the room.

'Something wrong Wheeljack?' he asked.

'No, nothing, nothings wrong! Who am I kidding, EVERYTHING IS WRONG!!' howled the poor mech.

'Is this because Arcee thought you weren't that good-looking?'

Chip almost fell off his chair when Wheeljack gave him the death glare. Wheeljack then sighed and looked at the screen where he saw his reflection.

'Why don't girls dig me? What don't I have that the others have? Why can't I get a girl to like me' he pondered.

'Wheeljack don't be like that, and besides you can't make a girl fall for you.'

After Chip said those words Wheeljack suddenly sat up. He spun round and looked at Chip.

'Say that again!' he cried.

'I said you can't make a girl fall for you!' replied the handicapped boy.

Chip had to stop himself from falling over when Wheeljack stood up in a victory pose.

'THAT'S IT! I'LL INVENT A DEVICE THAT WOULD MAKE GIRLS FLOCK TO ME! IT'S BRILLIANT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!'

'Ummm….Wheeljack?'

'HAHAHA….Oh sorry, what is it?'

'Isn't that wrong?'

'No it isn't! Now where was I….oh yeah! HAHAHAHAHA!'

Chip sighed and had a feeling this was going to go wrong.


Wheeljack spent weeks working on his 'Falling in Love' or FIL device hoping that it would work. Going over his blueprints he had made the following calculations.

The device would send a world-wide pulse affecting any female machine on the planet and program it to suddenly find the scientist attractive. Wheeljack couldn't help but chuckle. Thankfully Arcee was still here so he could test it on her. As soon as Wheeljack added the finishing touches he stood back and marvelled at…his…thing?

Wheeljack: It's called FIL!!

AutobotV: It looks like a piece of crap!

Wheeljack: Who asked you? You're the writer here!

AutobotV:….True. Anyway back to the story!

Wheeljack was proud with his FIL (piece of crap),

'I HEARD THAT!'

Anyway Wheeljack decided to test it right now and that's my cue to stand very far back! Wheeljack walked up to the machine and activated it. As it began to hum and whirr Wheeljack couldn't wait for the results (trust me he won't like them) hoping that for once that someone would find him attractive. Within a few minutes the pulse went off…with an explosion to follow! Wheeljack found himself slamming into the wall and everything going dark.

Within moments Wheeljack switched himself back on and looked up. He had blown up his workshop again but he defiantly remembered the pulse going off, meaning that it had to have worked. Standing up he realised his face-guard had cracked and he had no choice but to pull it off.

AutobotV: You know Wheeljack you actually look pretty hot without that!

Wheeljack: Really? Hah! It's working already!

AutobotV: Yeah…right…ummm Wheeljack I'm not a machine!

Wheeljack: Oh sorry.

Anyway Wheeljack decided to clean up before going to see Arcee and began picking up the pieces of his machine thing.

'FIL!'

Alright already! As Wheeljack placed the pieces on his desk he heard the door opened and was surprised to see that Prowl had walked in. Prowl never visited him in his workshop before so it did make wonder what the purpose of his visit was.

'Oh hey Prowl! Sorry about the mess, what can I do for ya?'

Wheeljack waited for an answer back Prowl just stood there staring at him.

'Ummm..Prowl? Hello? CYBERTRON TO PROWL?'

Suddenly Prowl grabbed him and slammed him on his desk. Wheeljack, a little shocked, looked up at Prowl to see he had an unusual look in his optics.

'Prowl? What's the big idea?' demanded the scientist.

'Wheeljack…did anyone tell you how fine you are today?'

'Eh?'

'I was upstairs and I suddenly thought of you all of a sudden. I just had to see you!'

'W-what?'

Wheeljack was a little freaked out that Prowl would act like this. He suddenly loosened himself from Prowl's grip and began backing away from him towards the door.

'W-well Prowl I gotta run! You know what Ratchet's like if I miss an appointment!'

'He can wait….IT'S YOU I WANT!'

Wheeljack yelped when Prowl suddenly tried to pounce on him but missed as the mech dodged and ran for the exit. He slammed the door behind him and stopped to catch his breath.

Wheeljack: Breath? I'm a robot! I don't have lungs!

AutobotV: Look pal! This my story so put up with it!

Wheeljack quickly walked away from his workshop and found himself bumping into Jazz. Maybe he knew what was wrong with Prowl.

'Jazz! Prowl was acting a little funny a second ago, you got any idea why?'

Wheeljack then found that Jazz had pressed him against the wall making the mech freak out a bit more.

'Who cares about that tight-up-his-exhaust bot! How about you and I take a cruise on the wild side!' purred Jazz leaning in a little too close.

Wheeljack ducked causing Jazz to slam his head into the wall. Wheeljack jumped from under Jazz and stepped back in shock.

'Y-y-you were gonna KISS ME!?' he wailed.

'Course I was you fine looking machine! Now come on over here!' replied Jazz reaching out for him.

Wheeljack ran down the hall trying to get a way from Jazz. Prowl had managed to get out of the workshop and saw the bots running.

'Oh no you don't Jazz! He's mine!'

'No way buddy! I saw him first!'

Wheeljack couldn't believe that the bots were fighting over him. Looking back he saw them have a little brawl. How the heck did those two suddenly fall for him? Before Wheeljack could even think what went wrong he suddenly fell over. Something, or someone, had grabbed his legs. Looking down he saw Bumblebee holding onto him, his face red from blushing.

'Wheeljack…there's something I really want to tell you!' he murmured.

Before lil Bumblebee could finish, Brawn suddenly pulled him off.

'No way Bee! I called him first!'

'I like him more than you!' wailed Huffer, grabbing Brawn.

'Well I love him more!' screamed Windcharger, kicking both bots.

'But I LOVE him more than anyone of you!' howled Cliffjumper, punching all three of them.

As the bots fought Wheeljack ran.

'WHAT'S GOING ON?' he wailed.

Looking behind him he panicked when he saw that half the base was after him. Screaming he picked up the pace and looked round for help. Then up ahead he saw Optimus Prime. Feeling relieved he called out to him.

'Prime! Help!'

Prime looked up and saw the chaos. He then quickly opened a door and ushered Wheeljack in.

'Quick Wheeljack! In here!'

As Wheeljack ran in he felt relieved when he heard Prime shut the door behind him to stop the mob that was after him.

'Thanks Prime! You have no idea how…'

He was interrupted when he heard bolts being locked, locks being clicked and codes being punched in. Looking behind he saw that Prime had locked them both in with over a million locks holding the door shut. Wheeljack looked at Prime a little confused.

'Er..Prime..was there any need for that?'

Optimus chuckled.

'How else am I going to keep you from running away, you hot-little-thing-on-wheels?'

'NOT YOU TOO!' wailed Wheeljack, jumping back.

Optimus grabbed him and the only thing that was keeping Wheeljack's body away from Prime's were his arms pressing up against his leader's chest.

'Prime! Wait a minute!' screamed Wheeljack in a panic.

'Oh come now Wheeljack! This is destiny, we were meant for each other!'

'WHAT!'

Before Prime could say anything else the door blasted opened. Looking towards the only exit in the room, Wheeljack saw Bluestreak, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe standing there in anger.

'Prime, you hus-bot! He's my love-machine!' screamed Bluestreak.

Prime tightened his grip around Wheeljack, making the poor mech feel crushed.

'Forget you three, I'm in charge and that means I can get whatever I want!'

'Prime…I…can't…too…tight…!'

'You already have a girl!' argued Sideswipe.

'Dumped her this morning!'

'Too…tight…!'

'Oh….well….WE STILL WANT HIM!' cried Sunstreaker pouncing on the Autobot leader.

Prime had to let go of the mech as all three Autobots pounced on him and began fighting over Wheeljack. Thankfully he managed to escape and was running down the halls, almost crying.

'THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO MEEE!' He wailed.

Wheeljack then slammed into someone and he looked up to see Hound grinning.

'Hey there sexy!' he growled.

Hound, don't even think about it!' warned Wheeljack stepping back.

'Think about what? I got a few thoughts on my mind on what we can do…in private!'

Before Wheeljack could respond he felt himself being picked up and began moving through the air. Hound was shocked as Wheeljack began floating away, but poor Wheeljack was panicking.

'WHAT THE…..WHO THE….DON'T JUST STAND THERE!'

'Relax Wheeljack! Just taking you somewhere where no one can bother us!'

Wheeljack recognized the voice belonging to Mirage and he howled in misery. He jumped out of Mirage's invisible grip and ran off. He ran straight into Ratchet's medical room to find the medic acting like he always did, with his back to him. Wheeljack sighed with relief and approached him.

'Ratchet, I need help! All the Autobots are now trying to…'

Before he could finish Ratchet looked round and grinned, somehow he had managed to find a giant rose and had it in his mouth. Wheeljack's jaw dropped.

'Hey beautiful!' said Ratchet holding out the rose.

As Prime wander down the halls wondering where Wheeljack had gone he saw him literally burst out of the medical bay, screaming, with Ratchet following.

'Wait for me honey!' wailed the medic.

'Get lost Ratchet! He's mine!' screamed Prime running after them.

Wheeljack ran into the control room and rushed up to Teletraan-1.

'Teletraan! Help! What's happening to everyone?' he cried.

'Simple,' replied the computer,

'When you invented the FIL to make female machines fall in love with you, however you forgot to add the gender setting, meaning that only the male machines are now madly in love with you. By the way, you're looking hot !'

Wheeljack dropped his jaw in horror. Then he heard a blast and he spun round to find Optimus Prime, Jazz, Prowl, Ratchet, Bluestreak, Bumblebee and Hound standing there after blasting through the doors.

'He's mine!'

'I SAW HIM FIRST!'

'I…really…like..him'

'Get real, he wants me!'

As the Autobots argued Wheeljack had no choice but to resort to drastic measures. Pushing a button a panel opened on the side of the room revealing the Dinobots.

'Hah! Now no one will have me! Dinobots! Attack!' cried Wheeljack.

The Dinobots did nothing. Wheeljack looked at them.

'Hey guys! Attack them!'

Then Grimlock said something that Wheeljack didn't really want to hear.

'ME, GRIMLOCK, LOVE WHEELJACK!' roared the leader of the Dinobots.

Wheeljack really felt like he wanted to cry but resorted to running out the base with the Autobots and Dinobots on his tail. Out in the open he hoped to get away from them. Suddenly he heard something and turned round to see Ironhide riding on Slag swinging a lasso above his head.

'I'm a comin for ya Wheeljack!' he cried.

Wheeljack ran even faster but Ironhide had thrown the rope and got it round his legs. Wheeljack cried out as he hit the floor face first. Ironhide then quickly got off Slag and tighten the ropes until Wheeljack was on his chest with his hands and feet tied together behind his back with Ironhide standing on his back with one foot. Wheeljack wailed as Ironhide claimed victory.

'Hah! You're mine now Wheeljackie!' he chuckled

However Ironhide forgot about Slag who transformed and began fighting him.

'Me Slag want hot-looking Wheeljack!' he howled.

As the bots fought Wheeljack scooted away and managed to somehow untie the ropes. He then continued to run and then heard another noise. Looking up he saw the giant jet that was Skyfire.

'Hey Wheeljack! You wanna come with me to this exotic place I found off the coast of Hawaii? Just the two of us? Wink, wink!'

Wheeljack screamed and ran even…OK that's it! Wheeljack quit running already!

Wheeljack: What? I'm in great peril here, what am I supposed to do?

AutobotV: Wheeljack did you forget that you're a Transformer?

Wheeljack:………………..oh yeah.

Wheeljack transformed and sped off leaving the Autobots far behind him. He laughed in relief.

'Eat my dust!' he snickered

AutobotV: Ummm…Wheeljack?

Wheeljack: What?

AutobotV: They can transform too.

Wheeljack: OH SLAG!

Wheeljack looked behind him to see the Autobots hot on his tail in their vehicle modes. Wheeljack went even faster until the Autobots disappeared from his rear-view mirror. He transformed and sat next to a boulder, getting his breath back.

'OK…they're gone…now I gotta figure out how to get out of this mess!'

As he pondered he suddenly heard jets. Looking up he saw the Decepticon Seekers, Starscream, Thundercracker and Sky Warp flying above him. Wheeljack jumped back and aimed his blaster at them.

'Not now you Decepti-creeps!' he cried.

To his surprised the Seekers transformed and landed in front of him. Wheeljack was a little confused until Starscream said,

'OK, so we're agreed! I go first, then Thundercracker, then Sky Warp!'

'But I wanna go first!' wailed Sky Warp.

'I love him more then any of you guys! I should go first!'

As the Seekers argued, Wheeljack ran off. The whole pulse thing even affected the Decepticons! And to be quite frank, he didn't really want to know what the Seekers were planning to do to him….but I'm pretty sure the readers do I'll start off with-

Wheeljack: NO WAY! FORGET IT!

AutobotV: Jeez Wheeljack they just wanna BEEP you!

Wheeljack: BEEP? What does that mean?

AutobotV: It comes out like that because this is a teen rated fic! So when I say something like BEEP it comes out like BEEP! Get it!

Wheeljack continued running until the seekers noticed he had gone. They took to the air and flew after him.

'Come back sweetheart!' yelled Sky Warp. Thankfully Wheeljack had run into the woods where he lost them. After catching his breath he then heard some bushes rustle. Looking up he saw Soundwave's entire cassette team, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Rumble and Frenzy charging at him. Wheeljack raised his blaster.

'Alright you little punks! You wanna piece of me?'

However they didn't attack him. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw landed either side of him on his shoulders and began to nuzzle his face. Ravage began purring and rubbed himself against his legs. Looking down Rumble had a cheesy grin and Frenzy shaped his hands into guns and said,

'Hey Wheeljack baby, how ya doin?'

Wheeljack screamed causing the cassette team to jump, giving him the chance to run for it.

'This is sooo not happening!' he wailed.

Then he tripped over a root sticking out of the ground. Hitting the floor, he moaned in pain. This defiantly wasn't his day. Then he felt someone pick him up and holding him so his arms were under Wheeljack's knees and the other on his back. Looking at the person who picked him up and was holding him like a baby, he was shocked to see Soundwave.

'Soundwave? What are you doing? Aren't you a Decepticon?'

'DECEPTICONS, INFIEROR. OUR LOVE, SUPIEROR!' uttered the Communication Officer.

Wheeljack wailed again until Soundwave was attacked by, none other then, Megatron!

'Soundwave how dare you!' he snarled.

'BUT MEGATRON, I LOVE HIM!'

'He's mine you dolt!'

'NEVER!'

Megatron began firing his fusion cannon at Soundwave who fought back. Wheeljack tried to sneak away but was grabbed round the waist by Megatron. Megatron began laughing like the evil machine he was after knocking Soundwave out.

'Now that I have Wheeljack, I can rule the universe!'

'HOW CAN YOU RULE THE UNIVERSE WITH ME?'

'With love anything is possible!'

'I so did not hear that.'

Meanwhile at Autobot base the Autobots saw the whole thing on the screen of Teletraan-1.

'Autobots, Megatron has captured my love and we must work together to get him back!' informed Optimus Prime.

'You mean, MY LOVE!' growled Prowl.

'Whatever…OK to make this fair, who ever rescues Wheeljack first can BEEP him first!'

The Autobots looked at each other.

'FINE!' they all said.

'Good! Autobots, transform and…'

The Autobots waited for the signal. They waited for two minutes. Then ten minutes.

'Prime, ain't ya gonna say "roll out" or something?' asked Jazz.

Looking up they saw Prime had already gone.

'HE CHEATED!' screamed Ratchet transforming and speeding off after him.

Soon all the Autobots were racing each other to rescue their beloved Wheeljack.

Wheeljack wasn't having a good time himself as he tried to avoid making contact with Megatron's face.

'NO WAY! NO SLAGGING WAY AM I GONNA DO THIS!' he yelled.

'Come now Wheeljack, we were meant to be!' chuckled Megatron.

'SOMEBODY GET ME AWAY FROM THIS CREEP!'

Suddenly Optimus Prime appeared and pointed his blaster at Megatron. Megatron snarled and Wheeljack felt relieved until Optimus Prime said,

'One shall stand, one shall fall…and one of us is gonna BEEP Wheeljack later, which will be me!'

Wheeljack's jaw dropped as Megatron snickered.

'Forget it Prime! Wheeljack's mine!'

As the leaders argues they were unaware that they were being watched by the Constructicons. Scrapper turned to face his men.

'OK guys! If we all form together we all get Wheeljack at the same time!'

'Seems fair but I still love him more!' muttered Long Haul.

As our poor hero in distress cried in misery, he was suddenly snatched by the giant Devastator. Holding Wheeljack within his grip he began marching his way to the city, with Wheeljack screaming.

'MY BELOVED!' cried Optimus transforming and driving after them.

'MY SOULMATE!' screamed Megatron flying after them.

Wheeljack looked up at Devastator who grinned.

'DEVESTATOR WANT WHEELJACK!' he bellowed.

Wheeljack wailed again and looked down to see his was within the city. Soon Devastator climbed to the top of the highest Skyscraper and roared with his accomplishment.

'Can someone please save me!' cried Wheeljack.

Suddenly both Optimus and Megatron appeared on buildings either side of the one Devastator was on. Preferred to being saved by his leader Wheeljack screamed,

'Optimus, save me!'

'Don't worry Wheeljack! When I save you we're gonna BEEEEEEEP and then BEEEEEP and a lot of BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and then finish it all off with a good BEEEEEEEP so hang tight!'

Wheeljack paused and looked at Prime with utter disgust. There was an awkard silence, then he looked at Megatron.

'MEGATRON, SAVE ME!'

'When I save you Wheeljack we will BEEEEEEEEEEEP and then BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP with a lot of BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and finally BEEEEEEEEEEEP so have no fear!'

Wheeljack looked at both leaders. Then screamed at the top of his vocal proscessors,

'WOULD SOMEBODY BESIDES THESE TWO SAVE ME!'

Then out of no where a flying Firebird appeared and transformed in mid air to revel Tracks who snatched Wheeljack out of Devastators hand. Landing on the next building Tracks put Wheeljack down.

'Phew, thanks Tracks.'

Suddenly Tracks grabbed Wheeljack's waist and brought his face closer to Wheeljack's.

'Does the hero get a kiss?' he asked.

Wheeljack couldn't take it anymore and slapped Tracks round the face. Tracks stood up and held the spot on his face where Wheeljack hit him.

'I'll never wash this face again!' he said in daze.

Wheeljack bolted down the stairs of the building and ran into Blaster.

'BLASTER! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!'

Suddenly Blaster began playing slow jazz and deepened his voice.

'Welcome to radio station I LOVE WHEELJACK, where we're gonna play some funky lovin tunes for our sexy machine…oh yeah.'

Wheeljack cried out and ran passed him. Running onto the streets he saw nearly of the Autobots and Decepticons and they saw him.

'There he is! And remember what Prime said! First one to save him gets to BEEP him first!' cried Sideswipe.


While the Decepticons and Autobots fought within the city a news crew suddenly appeared to record the fight for their news station.

'Just in! The Autobots and Decepticons are fighting each other within the city! More from the scene with Diana Flake! Diana?'

'Yes Tom the Autobots and Decepticons are indeed fighting each other in the city but for what reason? Are the Decepticons after another power source or planning to wipe out mankind?'

Suddenly Wheeljack ran past them screaming,

'SOMEONE HELP ME!'

Then following right behind him were the entire Autobot and Decepticon forces.

'COME BACK WHEELJACK! I LOVE YOU!' screamed an Autobot.

'I LOVE HIM MORE!' cried a Decepticon.

Diana returned to the camera.

'Tom it turns out the Autobots and Decepticons are fighting over a single Autobot but for what reason?'


Wheeljack cried out when he found that the Insecticons had picked him up and were trying to fly away with him.

'I love to have a bite of Wheeljack!' said Bombshell.

'I want to be his bedbug, bug!' said Shrapnel.

'I wanna BEEP him!' said Kickback.

'LEAVE ME ALONE!' cried Wheeljack and then felt someone grab his leg. Looking down he saw Bliztwing and Astrotrain hanging onto him.

'Give him up Insecticons! He's mine!' cried Bliztwing.

'I thought we agreed he's mine!' shouted Astrotrain.

The Insecticons began to fall and then they attacked the triple changers giving Wheeljack another chance to escape. However Wheeljack was about to get into more trouble when Omega Supreme, The Combaticons, The Stunticons, The Areialbots and The Protecticons showed up with one thing in mind. To BEEP Wheeljack!

Sorry but you have to wait til next time to find out what happens!!