Wheeljack muttered to himself in his workshop. He had been through hell just to get a girl to notice him and instead learnt that the Autobots and Decepticons were all perverts! The Autobots noticed he was looking funny so Ratchet did a check-up on him this morning but Wheeljack kept thinking that he was going to call him beautiful again. After sitting by himself for a while, Chip rolled in.
'Hey Wheeljack I heard you had one heck of a day yesterday!'
'Don't wanna talk about it!'
'Well don't say I didn't…'
AutobotV: HEY CHIP! SHUT THE BEEP UP!
Suddenly Chip is zapped by lighting and dies, hooray!
Wheeljack: YOU CAN'T WRITE THAT!
Chip got zapped by lighting and was sent to hospital where he was never heard from again! Anyway Wheeljack was really glad it was all over…until.
'WHEELJACK! GET THE BEEP UP HERE NOW!
Wheeljack jumped when he heard his leader's voice over his radio. He went to Teletraan-1's control room where the Autobots were standing glaring at Wheeljack.
'What? What did I do?'
'YOU MIND EXPLAINING THIS?' demanded Optimus Prime pointing at his arm where it was imprinted "I BEEPed Wheeljack!" all down the side.
'What about me?' cried Ironhide,
'For some reason I got pictures of Wheeljack in my mainframe of Wheeljack half naked in my memory banks…in my favourite section…under I LOVE WHEELJACK!'
'For some reason I ended up building a pink bomb shelter with a bed covered in rose petals, animal skins on the floor and scented oils!' wailed Hoist.
'I somehow mixed up this tunes!' moaned Blaster as he began to play back some tunes.
The Theme from the Bodyguard.
AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEELJAAAACK!
The Theme from Titatanic
Near, far, wherever you are, I will always try to BEEP Wheeeeljack!
DJ Sammy's Heaven.
Wheeljack you're all that I want, with you lying here in my arms. Finding it hard to believe we're in heaven.
'Okay that's enough Blaster!' snapped Hound.
'Me Grimlock somehow drew this picture!'
Grimlock then held up a picture that said, ME GRIMLOCK WUV WHEELJACK, and there was a messed up picture of Grimlock holding Wheeljack's hand surrounded by hearts. The whole thing looked like it was drawn by a two year old!
Wheeljack: Grimlock is only 2 years old!
AutobotV: Oh yeah.
'That's not the only problem! We got complaints from the people of Earth saying we destroyed cities and historic sites while chasing you!'
On Teletraan-1's screen it showed Mount Rushmore with the four faces gone and the words, I wanna BEEP Wheeljack tonite, was written in their place.
'Also, all the data Teletraan-1 collected as been replaced with all the camera shots of you in the base!'
'Plus somehow Prime's room got trashed!'
'Also somehow Alpha Trion got knocked off a tower on Cybertron and he said it was you!'
'Also the time/space barrier has been ripped open! How did that happen?'
Meanwhile outside base the five Autobots from the future were preparing to return to their time.
'Rodimus, shouldn't we warn Optimus Prime since we're here?' asked Ultra Magnus.
'Nah, let's go!'
And then the Autobots (and loser) from the future returned to their time, leaving one problem fixed. However back inside the base, Wheeljack was in a state of complete shock. How was he gonna explain this without getting pummelled? Then the wall blasted open and the Decepticons stood there angry.
'Megatron, not now! We're busy!' shouted Optimus Prime.
'Silent Prime, I'm here for him!' snarled Megatron pointing at Wheeljack.
He marched up to him and produced a collar.
'I received this in the post today! Apparently I ordered a collar with you name on it!'
'Why the slag would you buy a collar for Wheeljack?' asked Prowl.
'HOW THE SLAG SHOULD I KNOW!'
'I'm also missing some things…from my room…which got totally trashed!' screamed Starscream.
'Plus Thrust somehow got his head all bent!'
'ALSO WE WASTED 200 ENERGON CUBES WITH OUR LASER DOING THAT!' said Soundwave pointing to the sky.
Everyone looked up outside to see the words 'I LOVE YOU WHEELJOCK' engraved on the moon.
'Who the Slag wrote that?' asked Prime.
'Apparently it was Skywarp.'
'You can't spell for slag Skywarp!'
'That's not all!' screamed Megatron,
'I got a call from Shockwave who turned the control room into some romantic setup and he deleted 80 billion years worth of hard work and replaced them with poems dedicated to Wheeljack!'
'Also he's complaining that his back hurts!'
Suddenly Teletraan-1 alerted them all.
'I think you better watch this.' He said.
Then the screen displayed the news channel.
'Welcome to the news. Yesterday it has been confirmed that the Autobots and Decepticons are indeed gay!'
'WHAT!' cried all the Autobots and Decepticons.
'These shots were captured to prove the theory.'
The Autobots and Decepticons watched with jaws handing open. In fact Optimus Prime's face guard fell off by itself, it was that bad. Jazz's visor cracked and Red Alert started spazzing.
'Why the hell am I trying to kiss Wheeljack?'
'Why is Omega Supreme trying to spread Wheeljack's legs open?'
'Where the slag did Megatron get the whips and cuffs?
'Who the hell are those guys…one looks like an under-aged twerp!'
'HOLY SLAG I KISSED WHEELJACK!'
'HOLY SLAG WE WANTED HIS ASS!'
'WHAT THE…I'M WHIPPING SHOCKWAVE?'
'HOLY PRIMUS I TRIED TO BEEP HIM!'
Wheeljack was now trying to leave the room but was grabbed by Optimus Prime.
'Wheeljack you better explain now!' he snarled.
I'm not going into great detail so I'll make this quick. Wheeljack then quickly explained to them about how he thought he wasn't good looking enough, how he built the FIL and how it made everyone fall in love with him. Also what Prime, Megatron and Unicron did to him.'
'I DID WHAT!'
'Y-yeah…also Elita-1 saw it!
'Megatron, I had no idea you were so sick!'
'I…DIDN'T…I MEAN…I NEVER…I…HOLY SLAG!'
'But how the hell did Unicorn BEEP you?'
'I don't wanna talk about it!'
'OK that's it! Everyone, beat the living BEEP out of Wheeljack!' ordered Prime and Megatron.
Wheeljack found himself backing up against the wall as the Autobots and Decepticons started advancing towards him. Jeez poor Wheeljack's gonna have a few bruises isn't he!
Wheeljack: DON'T JUST STAND THERE! HELP!
AutobotV: Relax Wheeljack, you're not gonna get beat up!
Wheeljack: How come?
At that moment Ratchet ran into the room.
'Wait everyone! Don't touch him!' he cried.
'Why not?' demanded Jazz.
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
There was now a very long, awkward silence, broken by Wheeljack.
'Seriously Wheeljack you are with child and you are now going to be a mother……congratulations!'
Wheeljack almost fainted but what scared him the most was when he saw Optimus suddenly clench his fists almost in anger.
'Op-Optimus! Wait!' he wailed, thinking Optimus was indeed going to hit him.
Then Optimus Prime jumped into the air!
'I'm gonna be a Dad!' he cried.
'And me, Grimlock, will have baby brother to smash!'
'We're gonna be uncles!' cried the rest of the Autobots.
Wheeljack just fell to the floor in shock. How could they take this so lightly? How the heck did he get pregnant? It defied the laws of nature! He was now carrying a kid! Optimus Prime's kid!
'Not so fast Prime!' snarled Megatron.
'According to in AutobotV's Everyone Loves Wheeljack, I also BEEPed Wheeljack in an alternative storyline! Meaning that I must be the father!'
'Don't forget he got BEEPed by Unicron too!'
Wheeljack almost popped a circuit at the thought of carrying the child of either Megatron or Unicron!
'Ratchet! Who is the father?' asked Prowl.
'Until it's born I haven't got a clue!' replied the medic.
'Sweet! Until then, Autobots, find a room and turn it into a nursery!'
'Yes sir!' they all cried running off.
'I get to pick the paint colour!' giggled Sunstreaker.
'W-wait a minute!' screamed Wheeljack.
'Decepticons, I want you to all go out and get all that crap you need to learn how to be a good father!' ordered Megatron.
'Yes sir!' they all cried.
'Soundwave, I want you to download baby songs!'
'H-hold on a sec!'
However Wheeljack suddenly found himself alone, with no one but his kid.
AutobotV: AW Wheeljack! You're gonna be a Mummy!
Wheeljack: HOW! WHY! WHEN!
AutobotV: Clam down Wheeljack, you should be thinking of a name right now for him or her!
Wheeljack: But I don't even know who the father is!
AutobotV: I'll solve that!
Okay everyone if you remembered I asked you all to vote who was gonna BEEP Wheeljack. However because so many people voted I did them all!
'Waaaah.' cried Wheeljack, sobbing.
However this time you get to vote who the father is and this time I'm sticking to the rules! Only one outcome and you'll see the results in my next fic "Mama Wheeljack"! I'll give it a week so in the meantime I'll be updating the rest of my fics and you can all wait for the outcome!
'What if you do them all again!'
Nope, I'm only sticking to one! I won't do it again, promise.
'YOU PLANNED THIS DIDN'T YOU!'
N-no…course not…truthfully I planned all three scenes out...and I really wanted to use them all…plus there were so many votes for different choices.
See you next time!!