So my friend, the lovely and talented Cakehole Cat, and I have been working on a collab. fic over on Sn.tv. It's a crossover between our AU fics (Cat's Like the Rifle and my Winchester vs O'Sulivan) and, if I do say so myself, it is AWESOME!! Hope you all have as much fun reading it as Cat and I have writing it:)
All the usual disclaimers, of course. We don't own Supernatural or anything remotely related to it. We're just taking the boys (and that wonderful Impala) out for a joyride through our twisted imaginations. :p Also, fair warning to all, this one's a little more risque than my last few. Please pay attention to the rating.
Enjoy the read guys, and don't forget to pop in a review when you're done: )
the Curse of the Voodoo Queen
Winchester's, Enfield's & O'Sulivan: It's Thriller Revisited!
Stay tuned for the preshow folks: Snakes In a Frickin' SewerDarkness falls across the land,
The midnight hour is close at hand.
Creatures crawl in search of blood,
To terrorize your neighbourhood.
And whosoever shall be found,
Without the soul for getting down,
Must stand and face the hounds of hell,
And rot inside a corpses shell..
Chapter 1: Swamp Thing- I Once Caught a Fish This Big
Nobody ever said hunting was a glamorous job. Hell, most of the time it was actually pretty awesome. Well okay, so maybe 'awesome' was a little too enthusiastic a word for what they did. Especially since at the moment it involved slugging through the sewers of New York city looking for something Dean wasn't so sure they were going to find.
"So this thing we're looking for?"
"It's a Leviathan."
"Yeah, about that. Are you sure that's what we're after here? I mean, aren't those suckers supposed to live out in the ocean? And hey, while we're asking questions here: aren't these things supposed to be you know…" He spread his arms wide, measuring out the empty space between gun-toting hands in the way of one talking about having caught a fish this big. "Huge?"
And there it was: the patented Sammy scowl. Like he couldn't have seen that one coming.
"Look, everyone we've questioned so far saw the same thing: giant tentacles and lots of big sharp teeth dragging away sewer workers that nobody's seen since. Sure sounds like a Leviathan to me."
"I don't know man, it just doesn't feel right."
Blowing out a frustrated breath Sam stopped in his tracks and whirled around to face Dean. He'd just lost his grip on that last little bit of patience he'd been clinging to for hours now.
"Alright then! Let's say I'm wrong, which for the record I'm not. What do you think it is Dean?"
Caught off guard by a question he hadn't been expecting, Dean faltered. Sam watched, savoring the satisfaction of seeing his brother's mouth work open and closed as he struggled to find an answer and came up empty handed. Still, Dean just couldn't resist filling the silence.
"Oh, I don't know… Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Or hey, maybe the Swamp Thing decided he wanted to visit the Big Apple. You know, take a little vacation away from the bog or …aw hell, could be the Blob for all we know."
"Yeah, sure and the next thing you know Godzilla's gonna come waltzing out of one of those pipes to invite us back to his place for coffee. Dude, it's a Leviathan alright? Cut the crap already. The sooner we find this thing and kill it the sooner we can get the hell out of here."
Silence but for the sound of their breathing and the drip-dripping of that mysterious, smelly wet stuff they'd noticed sweating its way through the metal piping everywhere down there. Then, just as Dean was about to throw his arms up in defeat and relent to going back to the search, a squelching sound that might've been footsteps echoed around them.
"Looks like the Turtles ordered out tonight." Dean couldn't resist the crack.
"Dude, that's not even funny." This from a surprisingly unimpressed Sam.
"It's a little funny" 'Cause Sam might not have been impressed, but he sure was smiling.
"Nope, pretty sure it's not."
Squishsquashsquish The footsteps were getting louder and seemed to be getting closer though it was hard to tell for sure given the echo down there. Still, never hurt to be careful so weaponry at the ready Sam and Dean cautiously advanced towards the most likely direction the sound might have come from.
They'd just reached the nearest intersection of man-sized drainage pipes when whatever it was that was squishing and squashing was replaced with a loud thump-squelching sound. The godawful screeching that followed was just about loud enough to cause their eardrums to explode.
"Alright Swamp Thing, I've had enough of this crap! Hide n' Seek time's over, come and get me so I can waste you already will ya?" this followed by a decidedly unhappy female grumbled complaint. Gonna take me weeks to wash away the stench of this place. Took a second for them to realize the voice was a familiar one.
"Oh you've gotta be kidding me! Caitlin?" And yeah, maybe the use of her full name wasn't such a great idea in retrospect. If he hadn't then maybe she wouldn't have come tearing out of the tunnel with the business end of her knives pointed right at him, up close and personal-like.
"Dude, what is my name?" There was no room for negotiation here. It wasn't the time to explain actions. Hell there was barely enough space between her temper, the knives and his stubbled jaw line for breath. Still, somehow he managed to eke out a greeting.
"Hey Cal, how's it going? I'd say I'm happy to see you but under the circumstances…" he tilted his head ever so slightly in acknowledgement of the sharp, pointy objects that were way too close for comfort before finishing with a: "not so much."
"I told you before, Winchester: the name's Cal. Next time I won't be so nice when I remind you, compris (understood)?"
Wow, less than five seconds in her general vicinity and already Dean had her so worked up she was reverting to the French. Well, yeah. That was about par for the course. At least this time she hadn't kneed him in the jewels. An improvement really, if you asked Dean... not that anyone had.
Nodding a quick hello to Sam, Cal sheathed her knives back into her boots.
"So, uh, what're you doing here Cal?"
Seemed like the appropriate question to ask seeing as the last time they'd run into her it had been in Canada, on her parent's farm.
"When a girl catches wind of the Swamp Thing moving into her backyard she does something about it."
Something like chop it up and burn it to a crisp which, as far as Cal was concerned, was just the only way to get back at the damned thing for making her trudge around in the muck.
"Oh great, not you too." Sam was at his wits end. "Look, there's just no way I'm gonna believe there's a comic book character living down here and eating people for kicks, okay?"
Surprised, Cal just stared. Sam wasn't generally the type to just blow up unprovoked like that. There was just one person who could be responsible for this outburst and she didn't hesitate to turn on him.
"Dude, what did you do to him this time?"
But Dean wasn't listening, or rather he wasn't listening to her. Something else had caught his attention. There was an odd hissing sound coming from the very tunnel Cal had just come barreling out of.
Cal didn't get it, but judging from the eye roll Sam did.
They were moving towards the tunnel trying to get the upper hand, hoping to get a look at whatever it was before they'd have to fight it. The water under their feet began to ripple violently as if something was pushing it down the tunnel. There was something strange about the way it was moving though… the water was passing their boots from heel to toe rather than…
"It's behind us!" The hunters turned with the sound of Sam's cry which came just as the massive scaly monster came barreling out from the bowels of the earth.
"A snake?" Flabbergasted, Sam wasn't sure he could believe what he saw.
"A snake!" Dean actually sounded excited.
"Oh great." Cal on the other hand, not so much.
Actually, in her opinion calling it a snake would be insulting snakes everywhere. It was huge, gross and looked like an overgrown leech with more fangs than Cal was comfortable with. If there was one thing in the world she truly loathed, it was snakes. Her first reaction was to turn and run as far and fast as her legs could take her, which is exactly why she stood her ground and did the exact opposite.
Pulling her knives back out of their sheaths she took a deep breath in anticipation and sputtered as her nostrils were filled with the awful stench of rot the thing seemed to carry with it.
Well, she'd come down here intent on pest control…
They didn't notice her charging toward the thing until it was too late. One second she was between them, staring Slimy the possessed snake down and the next she was straddling it and trying to hack her way through. Unfortunately for Cal, her knives might as well have been toothpicks. They hurt like hell going in but did very little damage.
Sam and Dean could do nothing more than watch as the snake started writhing, launching Cal into the air and twisted itself around to watch her fall in a heap to the ground.
She hated getting the wind knocked out of her. Hated that all she could do was lie there and wait to be able to move her body again, or you know…watch as the overgrown worm with teeth decided to make her its midnight snack.
Fangs bared the snake hissed loudly, coiling into and around itself before rearing up and lunging toward the prone form that had just attacked it.
Dean had just enough time to take in the sight of Sam running towards Cal to try and pull her out of harms way before he raised both his arms, took aim and fired straight into the snake's gaping mouth. What happened next, none of them could have anticipated…although in retrospect they probably should have.
It was like watching a dragon breathe fire. The bullets hit home and created a chain reaction that set the scaly giant aflame. No amount of thrashing could put the blaze out, no matter how hard the snake tried.
Cal and Sam were somewhere in the deep, dark smoke that surrounded the burning heap of monster. Dean could hear them coughing, could hear the sound of their boots splashing in the grungy water that was now ankle deep. He couldn't see them though and that alone was enough to scare him. Big ass snakes he could handle. Loosing Sam or even Cal knowing he'd been the one to take the shot that set the thing on fire in the first place? Definitely not something that fell under the 'I can deal with it' category.
He didn't have to worry long though, thank God. A few minutes that felt more like hours or years went by and then the snake curled in on itself and its head hit the ground with a loud thump as it finally lost the fight.
"Sam? Sammy! You guys okay?" Dean called out into the smoke filled tunnel trying hard to keep the worry out of his voice and the 'big damn hero' mask in place and just barely succeeding. A mask that dissolved into a fit of near hysterical laughter when Sam and Cal finally stepped out of the smoke where he could see them.
They were covered in burning snake soot so that the only parts of them not a solid black color were their eyes and lips. Sam's hair had curled up wildly from the humid heat and Cal's was a tangled mess that oddly resembled a wasp nest.
"Yeah, yeah Winchester; you go ahead and laugh." She scowled ugly at him and turned to Sam. "Personally I think the missing eyebrows suit him. You?"
"I dunno Cal. I don't think it'll be as easy for him to pick up girls this way. I mean, that eyebrow arch thing he does?"
"Right. I see your point. It is his best move, isn't it?"
They managed to keep straight faces just long enough for Dean's face to twist into mortified panic and for his hands to fly up to his face to check for himself. When fingertips met hair where, according to them, there shouldn't have been he bit back a growl.
"Haha guys, very funny."
"Yeah well, you deserved it didn't you?"
He didn't have an answer for that one.
They stuck around just long enough to be sure the thing really was dead. Together they salted its corpse and set aflame the parts of it that weren't already burning. :
Dean frowned, kneeling next to the slimy, smoking corpse of the giant sewer snake. "Huh. Well that was a little disappointing."
"Disappointing?" She asked, because seriously… was this guy for real? "Disappointing?!"
"Yeah, you heard me. I mean, it was just a snake. I was kinda hoping it would turn out to be the Swamp Thing."
"We just wasted the monster-snake-from-hell. Did you not see me struggling to literally saw the damn thing's head off? Did you not watch it spontaneously combust from the fumes down here when you shot at it? And after all that you can say tonight was disappointing?"
"Uh, yeah. Pretty much."
There was a loud smack as Cal's hand met the back of Dean's head.
"OW! What was that for?" Confused and rubbing the offending sore spot he turned so she could fully appreciate the dirty glare he sent her way.
But she was already storming past him into the dark disgusting maze that was New York's sewer system, muttering idiot under her breath as she went.
"Hey! Where're you going?"
"To grab a long hot shower and then out for a drink. We just killed Snakezilla, I think that calls for a little celebrating."
"Good idea, we'll come too."
"Okay, but I've gotta warn you Winchester: you step foot in my bathroom while I'm in there I won't be responsible for you loosing body parts, compris?"
Dean was smart enough to keep his mouth shut to that particular statement. Unmade promises couldn't be broken after all, now could they?
"You know what, I think we should head back to the motel and meet you at the bar Cal. We don't have any clean clothes and I'd just as well not walk in there smelling like roast snake and sewer." Fortunately Sam knew his brother well enough to anticipate and avoid that particular situation entirely.
"Okay then. O'Leary's in an hour. See you guys there." And with that she hoisted herself up a metal ladder built into the wall and out the manhole to the street above them.
Dean watched her every wiggle, deciding instantly that the view definitely worth his while. Wasn't until after she'd gone that he realized what a mistake going to the bar with her could be. Last time they all went out together he'd ended up with a black eye. Oh well, what were the chances she'd want to hit him again? Better not to dwell on that question actually, because he had a sneaking suspicion the odds of that happening were better than he gave them credit for.
Ah, but if it meant he'd get to see her in that ribbon-thing she called a blouse? Totally worth it.