Okay Guys! This is my FIRST fan fiction so please be kind! I appreciate ALL feedback but not too harsh, my poor heart can't take it! I love to read fan fiction

And this is my first real crack at one of my own. I've always had ideas but I haven't been able to put them to paper. This WILL get better. The first chapter is really all about Edwards feelings. Full of angst I no but hey? Everyone loves a little emo Edward once in a while. Ill give you a little jist about what this story contains. Just so you wont get bored and leave me hanging! I know lots of people start stories from this point in the book but mine will hopefully be different! Mostly all of this story will be in Edwards POV. I just love it so much! Lots of gooey feelings about Bella! YAY!

Introduction:

Takes place during New Moon, Edward never came back and Bella didn't have Jacob to count on. She spirals out of control taking the hard road of alcohol, sex and drugs.

Chemical Reactions

by Kaitie

I was in my meadow. I heard a pleasing sound, something like that of a girl's laughter. Searching for the source knowing full well that an angel could only make it that was exactly what I found. Soft rays of light filtered through the trees creating a halo around her. I stood in the shadows of the trees, taking in all of her beauty. She turned around slowly with a questioning look on her face. Her eyes fell upon me and a small smile appeared on her rose-tinted lips. I could only stare. Her face was framed with soft curls of chestnut hair; it was gently waving in the breeze creating an unearthly effect. Her face was a creamy colour tinted slightly by the small flush that graced her soft cheeks. A look of Tranquility was scattered across her delicate features. The angel averted her gaze slightly and looked at the view before her taking in the scenery. Her lips parted slightly as if to say something but no words were uttered.

Without warning she quickly lowered herself to the ground lying down, resting on her elbows. Due to her sudden movement I was snapped out of me revere. I tried to avert my gaze, as it was by no means polite to stare but as soon as I managed to control my wondering eyes they fell upon this beautiful being once more. Her smile grew and I once again heard her enchanted laughter in the air. She beckoned to me, inviting me to her with her fragile hand. I quickly glided to her side, eager to not waste one moment of her company. I sat down beside her trying to keep a fair amount of distance between us but failed miserably. I could hardly control my body any more. My heart no longer belonged to me but to this magical being. I once again found myself staring at her face, engraving her features into my memory. I mustn't forget. I shall never forget.

She raised her hand and touched the tips of her fingers to my cheek. I could not suppress a gasp. Her warmth intoxicated me. I unconsciously leaned into her hand wanting more. I opened my eyes not realizing I had closed them to see yet another stunning smile upon her face. Desperately I leaned in to her closer, I could not control myself. I was hers, mind body and soul. I hesitantly lifted my hand to cup her chin hesitantly in my palm. My other arm snaked itself behind her resting gently on her hip. The angel had closed her eyes. Her lips so full, they were enticing me to touch them with my own. Calling to me. I had to see if they were still as soft as they were the last time I checked. I closed the distance between us; hungrily I pressed my lips against her perfect rosy ones. I did not deserve this, that much I knew.

Despite my knowledge of the fact I continued to kiss her. Sweetly at first but it soon progressed to a more frantic and passionate kiss. My hand tightened around her waist. She was so perfect I could not begin to comprehend how I came to deserve such a wonderful being. Just as we both parted our lips our tongues easily finding one an others she pulled away slightly and I reluctantly followed her lead even though I wanted more. Her hand slide down the side of my face until it reached the bottom of my lip. A playful smirk graced her features and I almost fainted at the sight of it. She looked so beautiful. No, it was something far beyond that. Something words just couldn't describe. Inside my thoughts I just barely caught her soft voice.

A single word was all that was spoken but that single word was all it took for my heart to soar. "Edward" she repeated in a whisper. Such heartfelt compassion was placed heavily on this one word. I felt a grin swipe across my face. I plunged in once again to capture those soft lips but just before I achieved my goal a loud boisterous voice pierced my illusion. The angel was fading, disappearing into the trees that surrounded us. I hopelessly reached out begging for her to stay. But it was no use. I was soon alone sitting in the middle of a now empty meadow. All the happiness had evaporated and all remained was a thick sense of foreboding that lingered around me in the air. I reluctantly returned to the world outside my mind. Leaving the angel behind.

"Edward!"

Emmett's deep voice was easily heard throughout the house without him having to yell. I groaned. Turing over on top of my bed, ducking my head under the covers. Why couldn't anyone just leave me alone? All I wished to do was return to my dreams so I could be with the person I needed most. My Bella. As much as I tried I had never been able to get her out of my mind. She was constantly there, like a bitter reminder of what I once had and will never have again. I would never get over Bella. I could never get over Bella. Since the moment we met she became the reason of my existence, without her I was hopeless. I had no reason to live. I tried my hardest to keep up appearances with my family, acting to the best of my ability. I tried, but failed miserably. Living with an empath did not help the situation.

Emmett had soon reached my door. Pounding on it with a heavy fist.

"Edward!" He shouted again. "Get your ass out of that bed we gotta get to school!"

I lay still listening to his heavy footsteps as he retreated down the hall and back into his and Rosalie's room. I gradually was able to coax myself out of the bed if not for myself but for my family. I quickly threw on some clothes not even noticing what I had picked up in my daze. I ran my hand threw my hair sighing to myself. The only reason I continued with my schooling was to keep Esme and Carlisle happy. I owe them too much to cause them pain intentionally.

I meandered down the corridor and stairs finally reaching the front door. All of the family was there except for Carlisle. I could only guess he was already at the hospital. I really didn't take much notice of others now. I could not help it, people just didn't interest me anymore. Alice shot me a quick smile when she saw me and I returned it half-heartedly but instead of a smile it turned out as more of a grimace. Alice greeted me with a small hello as did my other sibling but it was only out of manners. I could not blame them. We made our way towards Rosalie's car. I no longer bothered to drive us. I slid into the back seat preparing myself for yet another excruciating day at school. Everyday without Bella was painful.

If you hadn't guessed the part written in italics was Edwards "dream" of Bella. Just thought I'd point it out if I didn't make it obvious enough :P

OMG! I finally finished! Trust me it WILL get better! That I promise and NO when bella and Edward meet up she will NOT go flying back to him like he did no wrong! If that happened they'd be no story would there? I LOVE YOU ALL! Please review if you liked it, even if you didn't tell my what I could improve on! If nobody review I will cry and nobody likes a crying Kaitie! If I get review I will continue, even if I only get one! Otherwise this story is FINITO!

Kaitie

xxx