Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just playing.

Here's my challenge set by Laura (MrsLee)– story must contain the following lines:
"My ass is sweating"
"I can't believe he said that to me"
"Do you really think I'd want to eat that?"
"She was flirting with you, you idiot"

Title given by Hannah (Curses)

Thanks so much girls!!!!

----------------------------Summer Swelter-----------------------------

It was a long, hot summer, the kind of summer that made you wish you were a fish, or any water creature so you could escape the hot and humid air by swimming in ever refreshing liquid crystal. Everything was hot, steamy or sticky. Everything. Despite the best efforts of an ancient and ineffective air conditioner, the precinct squad room temperature gauge was still sitting on 100oF making it a very unpleasant place to be.

Elliot sat and watched as his partner shifted uncomfortably in her leather chair built decades before anyone had heard the word ergonomic. Olivia looked up and caught him.

"What?" she growled not pleased at anyone or anything at the moment.

"Something wrong with your chair?" he grinned before taking a swig from his water bottle.

"Damn leather is so hot. I think even my ass is sweating," Olivia replied causing Elliot to choke on the water and spit it back on his desk. He had enough difficulty being around Olivia's ass on a daily basis without having her mention it and give him a more vivid picture than he already had.

Before Olivia could call him on his response Don poked his head out from his office.

"You two in here," he called and watched as his favourite detectives made their way over.

Elliot closed the door behind him. "God, it's cool in here," he said, taking a moment to let the chilled air engulf his body. Olivia made a bee-line to the source of the refreshing current and stood in front of it allowing the streams of cool air to ram full force into her body. She held her arms out and slowly turned around, not the least bit interested as to why they had been called in.

"This is so good," she murmured. Her eyes were closed so she didn't see the reaction of Elliot and Don who were staring at her. Slowly she opened her eyes, ready to get back to the issue at hand. Don averted his eyes quickly and grabbed the file from his desk; Elliot's response was a lot slower.

"What?" Olivia said, studying his face.

"Um, nothing," he replied guiltily.

"Obviously it's not nothing…what?" she pushed.

"Just thinking that air must be real cold to um…" he paused.

"To do what, El?" she asked.

"To turn your headlights on," he muttered before dropping his head.

Olivia looked down and saw her taut and chilled nipples clearly straining against the white cotton shirt she was wearing. She looked back to Elliot and then to her boss.

"I can't believe he said that to me!" she said indignantly.

"Me neither," Don agreed and they both stared at him.

"Hey!" Elliot threw his hands up to surrender. "You asked, Liv. Not my fault…for noticing." He dropped his hands and sat in the chair near his boss' desk, he eyed the older man. Don may not have said anything but Elliot knew from his reaction he'd been thinking the exact same thing.

Assignment accepted Olivia and Elliot walked out to the squad car, neither looking forward to getting into the sunbaked vehicle. Elliot retrieved the keys from his pocket and pressed the unlock button. He opened the door and let the heated air escape the confines of the cabin. Olivia grabbed the keys from him and slid into the driver's seat.

"I'm driving," she said, surprising him. "Don't look at me like that," she continued, noting his expression. I am capable of driving with or without headlights!"

Although he usually argued the point, he couldn't find the right words this time, his mind racing again, first her sweaty ass and then her chilled nipples, this woman was going to be the death of him…maybe it was best she drove.

Their assignment was an easy one. Go and speak to Mrs Esther Watson and check her witness statement for a case of Munch and Fin's. Mrs Watson was 87, wore thick prescription glasses, two hearing aids and walked with a frame. Don was sure she would never make the stand in a court room, the defense would tear her apart but he was hoping Olivia and Elliot could get her to remember something, anything, which would lead to the man who raped and beat her across-the-hall neighbour.

Two hours they spent there…two long, stifling hot, hours spent sipping lemonade and chatting about everything but the case. Both detectives realised very quickly their witness could offer nothing else but she was a lovely old woman who seemed incredibly lonely and neither could bear the thought of leaving her before they had to.

It was Don who brought an end to their afternoon tea party, calling them back into the precinct. After goodbyes were exchanged and promises made to keep in touch, Elliot and Olivia departed and headed back downtown. As Olivia drove along the busy streets Elliot sat pensively in the passenger seat.

"Something wrong with my driving, El?" she asked, noting his demeanour.

"Ah no, no," he replied, shaking his head.

"So what's up?" she asked as she turned the corner.

"Mrs Watson…" he stopped, thinking that was a sufficient response.

"And what about Mrs Watson?" Olivia asked.

"I'm worried about her…I don't think she's that well," Elliot replied.

"What makes you think that?" Olivia asked glancing at him.

"When you went to the bathroom she tried to get up from the sofa and placed her hand on my knee to help her up, she was shaking and…" he began to explain.

"She hadn't moved when I got back," interrupted Olivia.

"No, she didn't get up in the end," Elliot answered.

Olivia started laughing, the first few chuckles turning into full blown laughter complete with tears rolling down her face.

"What's so funny?" Elliot asked indignantly as Olivia pulled the car off the street to regain her composure.

"She was flirting with you, you idiot!" she laughed. "The loving looks, the little kiss on your cheek as we left…her hand on your knee." Olivia began convulsing with laughter again.

"She was not!" Elliot protested but it was lost amid her laughter and after consideration of the facts he knew she was right, not that he'd ever admit it.

After a few more hours in the sweltering heat of the squad room and wading through a mountain of paperwork which seemed to increase rather than decrease, Elliot called an end to the day.

"That's it!" he exclaimed pushing his chair back from his desk and lacing his fingers behind his head. "Not doing another DD ever again! Olivia grinned; he said the same thing every night. "What you grinning at?"

'Nothing," Olivia smirked, remembering Mrs Watson and thinking she'd use it to her advantage. "You up for dinner?"

"Yep," Elliot replied. "And if memory serves it's your shout. I think I'll go for the lobster." He grinned.

"Lobster? Sure….you'll be paying." Olivia stood up from her desk and pushed in her chair.

"No Liv, your turn to pay. I got it…" he began.

"Yeah but I can't do two things at once," she whispered as Munch approached his desk.

"What two things?" he asked, his voice dropping to match hers.

"I can't pay and keep it secret about you and Mrs Watson," she grinned as she looked over to Munch.

"You wouldn't dare!" Elliot retorted.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Olivia smirked. "Oh John, Elliot and I went and saw Mrs Watson today. Such a dear old thing, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Munch replied looking over his glasses at the pair of them.

"She was so sweet and Elliot…" she began before Elliot was on his feet.

'Dinner time, Liv, I'm paying," he said taking her arm.

"And Elliot what?" Munch asked, looking at Elliot. Elliot glared at Olivia.

"And Elliot thought maybe if you paid her a visit it may help her remember. After all, you saw her on the day of the attack," Olivia lied.

"Yeah, probably a good idea. Night!"

Between the squad room and the car, Elliot listed seven different restaurants or diners they could go to. To each one Olivia replied "Do you really think I would want to eat that!"

Exasperated Elliot conceded. "Well, where the hell do you want to eat?"

"My place," Olivia replied causing Elliot to do a double take.

"Your place? Didn't you just blackmail me into paying for dinner?" he asked unlocking the car. Olivia just grinned in reply.

The conversation was kept light during the trip home, once in her apartment Olivia ordered Chinese and paid via her Visa card before sitting down beside Elliot on the sofa.

"Here," she said handing him a beer before twisting off the lid of her bottle.

"Thanks," mumbled Elliot still confused by their dinner arrangements. "Liv, the heat must be getting to me because I'm not understanding this whole dinner thing."

"What don't you understand, El?" she asked innocently.

"You said I'll be paying…actually you blackmailed me into agreeing to pay for dinner," he replied, taking a drink.

"No I didn't, I said you'd be paying," she answered.

"Right, for dinner," he answered, just as confused with the conversation as with the dinner arrangements.

"No, I said you'd be paying and you will be…" She edged closer to him and winked.

Suddenly Elliot's heart began thumping; as he looked down to find Olivia's hand on his thigh.

"Um, ah, Liv….what exactly will I…um…be paying for?" he stammered.

"You'll be paying for that shameless flirting with Mrs Watson," Olivia grinned, her hand now gently massaging his thigh.

"Liv, I wasn't flirting with…you know it was she who…" He paused as she moved closer to him.

"I'm sure you were using that Stabler charm on her," Olivia cooed before gently blowing into his ear. Elliot shivered.

"And what charm would that be…um Li..Liv?" His heart was now pounding rapidly against his ribcage.

"I wouldn't know; you never use it against me." Olivia pouted and fixed the look with doe eyes. "So now you have to pay…Charm me, Detective Stabler."

Elliot gulped twice before getting up the nerve to actually touch her…still half convinced this was to get him back for the headlights comment. As soon as his hand touched her shoulder she moved back, not sure what to do next. She had been playing a game but the look on his face told her a whole other story.

Deciding to let games be damned, Olivia used her other hand to grab hold of his tie and pull him towards her. The heat of the day was nothing compared to searing temperature which engulfed them as he moved in to kiss her. Blue eyes seared into brown ones as his lips moved to brush against hers. As Olivia pulled on his tie once more and their lips locked for the merest seconds before the doorbell rang and startled them both. Heavy breathing ensued as they both jumped back in surprise.

Olivia got up to open the door muttering under her breath damning the speedy service. Bag in hand; she placed the food on the coffee table before standing near Elliot.

"You hungry?" she asked, no longer interested in food.

"Yeah," he replied before standing and taking her hand. She led him towards her bedroom. "But something tells me I haven't quite paid up yet, have I?" he added.

"Not by a long shot, Elliot, not by a long shot."