A/N: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. My first grey's Anatomy story so if I am getting anything wrong please tell me and I will fix it. :) I've posted the first two chapters just to get the flow of the story going because the first chapter doesn't give much for a storyline. Now it might eventually…ok it will have some MerDer later on but not for a few chapters yet. Rating may go up later on just to be on the safe side. Reviews would be much appreciated because then at least I will know if I am doing this right or wrong. Thanks. And there will be a chapter or two up tomorrow regardless of what people think. :)

Chapter One: Stairwell Encounter

He no longer exists to her…

No longer is he McDreamy…

Now, he is only the man who single handedly had broken her mind, body and soul into tiny pieces.

Not Derek but Dr Shepherd.

She was so determined to manage the surging pain, sadness and sense of betrayal in her.

But there was one thing that was unmanageable for her, the one thing that she could not stop…

Her love for him.

Meredith Grey stood out in front of Seattle Grace Hospital with a hard expression.

Today she was determined to block him out fully.

For the first time in her life she hoped that today she would be assigned down in The Pit or do scut work for the day.

Maybe if she tried to look small Bailey would miss seeing her and…

A small smile crept onto Meredith's lips and she shook her head.

Miranda Bailey didn't miss anything.

Looking back at the daunting hospital, Meredith sighed sadly and began to walk towards the double doors.


His soft, concerned voice somewhere behind her hit her ears and it took all of her will power not to stop walking.

The effect that he had on her just by saying her name scared her, but Meredith walked through the main doors and into the hospital without looking back.

She heard him call her name a few times as she continued walking towards the elevator, but still she would not turn and look at him.

The elevator doors were open but Meredith suddenly didn't want to take the elevator because she knew he would make it in with her just in time.

Her Dr Shepherd elevators Bad mixture enclosed spaces

Quickly she veered to the right into another corridor towards the stairwell and away from the elevator.

She smiled in her brief triumph, thinking that maybe she had successfully evaded another morning confrontation with him.

But the sound of his footsteps still trailed quietly behind her and Meredith felt her heart sink. Once this movement of his would have made her heart race, but now she just felt sick.

Why couldn't he just leave her alone to wallow in her own pain and misery? To leave her alone so she could finally begin to heal?

Meredith burst into the stairwell and began to climb the stairs two at a time.

Still his footsteps echoed and trailed behind her just as quick.

Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?

A quick glance around the stairwell showed her worst fears that it was empty.


A fierce anger spurned right through her and caused Meredith to finally come to a halt.

She suddenly turned around on the step and looked at an approaching Derek with as much menace, anger and hate as she could.

Her abruptness in movement caused an unprepared Derek to screech to a halt on the step below her.

His surprised expression quickly melted into one of concern when he saw her face.

"What?!" she asked with angered annoyance.

Derek stared at her, hurt and stung at the bitterness in her voice.

"I was just seeing if you were alright." He said quietly, his blue eyes caringly examining her face, trying to help ease her pain with his dubbed 'McDreamy' look.

Meredith gazed at 'their' look and she felt her heart begin to melt, with sadness.

That look was never going to be theirs or hers, again.

The repressed tears of the past few weeks since she had found out he had chosen his wife began to prickle at the back of her eyes.

Quickly she blinked them back, hoping he hadn't seen them.

Her harsh gaze on him slightly softened for a second and Derek though he was beginning to get through to her, but the softness on her beautiful face melted into one of pure sadness and loss.

Derek opened his mouth to speak but Meredith's shield of anger instantly rose before he could say anything.

"I'm fine Dr Shepherd." She replied harshly, not caring for the hurt expression in his eyes. "And I have been fine since you picked your wife over me. I have been fine in the way of going to Joe's every night, drinking tequila and having sex with strangers just to try and get the never ending overwhelming pain just to stop."

Derek blinked at her and looked away, unable to reply. How could he reply to that? He was the cause of her pain and she was…sleeping around with random guys?!

"Meredith I…" he started but she just turned her back on him and started up the stairs once more.

She did not look back at him, as he stood motionless on the step, watching her exit out of the stairwell through a door.

His heart was just as broken as hers.

Derek had told no one that he had fallen in love with Meredith, but he knew that it was the right thing to do to try and make it work with Addison.

It still didn't stop the sharp pangs of jealously and hurt race through him at the thought of all of the other men that had been with his Meredith.

With a heavy sigh Derek began to slowly climb the stairs once more. As he climbed every step his heart grew heavier and heavier with sadness.

He had no right to call her 'his' anymore but in his eyes she still was. Even though he was married and was no longer with Meredith he still watched her whenever she walked past or whenever they were in surgery together.

She did not belong to him, but every fibre of his being wished she still did.

It had been the right thing to do to stay with Addison…

Surely it had been…

Hadn't it?

Derek paused mid-step and sighed.

Give it time…things will work out eventually.

As he exited through the same door Meredith had only moments ago, that small voice of doubt whispered in his ear.

What if you have made a fatal mistake Derek Shepherd?

Shaking his head to get rid of the thought, he only hoped that Meredith wasn't going to kill him with his own scalpel when she found out from Bailey that he had requested her for today.