Dear Diary,

When I last wrote to you, I was completely ecstatic at the thought of being pregnant. I was also worried about what Rick would think.

Well, Rick is positively thrilled. He seemed even more happy than I was. I was so thankful.

But that was four months ago, Diary. At that time, the pregnancy was still a surprise. At that time, all I could think about was becoming a mother and Rick becoming a father. At that time, I didn't worry about how painful it may be. And at that time, I was still a size 6.

All right, all right, I realize that all of this may sound shallow, but the doctor came today. I've been getting dizzy spells and falling asleep all the time. Rick was worried, and so he called the doctor.

The doctor has told me to take it easy until the delivery. He explained to me that I could still go to work, just not lift a lot of heavy items, and that I could basically continue with my everyday life as long as I don't over-tire myself.

Well, Rick took this as 'You're to stay in bed for your next two trimesters and you can't lift a finger the whole time.'

I love Rick. I really do. You know that, Diary. He's my whole life. But sometimes he can be so bloody protective it makes me want to scream! (Pardon my language, please, I'm extremely stressed out at the moment)

During the first month or so, I thought the way he was always at my side helping me was sweet. And quite cute, because his actions were completely opposite of what may be expected of a former Legionnaire.

But after a while, it almost seems as if he feels that I've become incompetent. I know he doesn't really think that, Diary, but I don't have the heart to tell him to leave me alone, that I can take care of myself.

Actually, I did tell him that I could take care of myself once, and he shot back saying that if I could, how did I end up chained to an ancient sacrificial altar?

And with me being in the emotional state of mind that I am, I cried. And you know me, Diary, I HATE to cry. Especially in front of others. Never did I want to cry in front of Rick; I always wanted him to think I was strong, crying makes me feel weak.

Of course, he apologized immediately. I knew he hadn't meant it. But I'm so confused these days and every little thing bothers me. I get irritable at the drop of a hat.

Jonathan hardly comes over anymore, he says he can't handle it if I yell at him again. That makes me feel terrible. But Rick and Jonathan both say that they understand that my hormones are going bonkers at this time so they don't blame me when I snap at them.

Well, Diary, it's getting rather late, and Rick is coming into bed. So I will write again soon!

Well, hopefully soon, it took me four months between last entries!

~Evelyn