'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. This is my first story so please bear with me. Oh, and my grammar SUCKS. So, yeah. Bear with that too. Oh, and since everyone seems to be doing it:

I don't own nothin'. And this is a PeachxBowser fic, in case you didn't know. ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter One- Kidnapped by King Koopa

It was a boring day in the Mushroom Kingdom, and Princess Peach felt her brains frying. Daisy and Luigi had gone on vacation to Isle Delfino. Mario was off running around in the pipes (doing who-knows-what, as usual). Yoshi and Birdo had gone to take care of some eggs. Even Toadsworth wasn't there to nag her today. After a few more moments of silence, the pink princess decided to go out for a walk. She took a step outside after opening up her parasol and explored the various places of Mushroom Kingdom. The more she walked, the more she realized that there was really nothing here except for plains, meadows… maybe a stream here or there, but that was it. It was just peaceful. TOO peaceful. It was so peaceful that it was just plain BORING. She usually spent her days being kidnapped by SOMEONE whether it be a mad monkey with a tie or a fat turtle, but everyone just seemed to be gone. Peach sighed as she let her feet deep into the stream and looked up at the clouds. They all just seemed to be fluffy blobs until one shaped like Bowser's clown copter flew by. Peach immediately stood up and squinted her eyes to get a closer look. It actually WAS Bowser's clown copter! Before she knew it, she got knocked out and was thrown into the clown copter that was heading towards Darklands.

SQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLESQUIRTLE

"I think she's waking up."

"Ew, like, she does not have enough mascara on."

"Shaddup, ditzhead!"

"You guys! Look, look! She's waking up!"

Princess Peach sheepishly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry at first until the faces of three small koopas came into view. One was had a pink head with red sunglasses, another looked exactly like Bowser, except a bit younger, and the other was supposedly a girl wearing a polka-dotted bow. Peach held back her fear, closed her eyes, and laid back down, hoping that the three small koopas would simply leave her alone. Unfortunately, she didn't get her wish. The girl and mini Bowser koopas started jumping on her while the pink one started jabbing her on the back. Immediately, Peach shot up.

"Okay! Okay! I'm awake!" she cried. The three then suddenly backed off and gave the frightened princess creepy smiles.

"Yo, Mama Peach!" the pink one said. Peach's fried brain froze.

"M-Mama?!" she choked out. She had NO memory of having ANY children, especially not koopa children! "I think you have me mistaken for some other woman named Peach because I am certainly not your mother!"

"Why, of course you are! King Dad said so and King Dad never lies!" the little one said. The other older koopas rolled their eyes at their younger sibling's naïve mind.

"Well, actually, King Daddy just needed some other poor girl to take care of us. I mean, those old geezers Kammy and Kamek don't even bat an eyelash for us! It's, like, so uncool," the girl koopa said.

"Uuuum, who exactly is this 'King Dad'?" Peach asked.

"King Daddy? You seriously don't know King Daddy? He's, like, only the King of Darklands!" the girl koopa scoffed. Peach froze. Of all the times she'd been to Bowser's Castle, she'd never met his kids. Besides that, how in the world was she going to take care of them all? She had only baby-sit one child before and now she had to baby-sit these three? …Well, there WERE only three, right?

"Eeeeeeh, oooo-kaay," Peach muttered. Please let this all just be a bad dream. "So, what are your names, kiddos?"

"I'm, like, Wendy!" the girl koopa said. "And these are my two brothers, Roy-" The pink koopa gave a menacing smile and waved. "-And Bowser Jr. But we just call him Junior." The smallest koopa gave a sweeter grin and looked up at the pink princess with big, interested eyes. It'd be so much cuter if only Princess Peach wasn't frightened out of her wits. "So, like, let's go! You have to meet the others!"

"T-The others?" Peach stammered nervously. She followed Wendy as she scampered down a hallway and to what appeared to be a living room. There was a rather chubby koopa with wild, blue hair who was reading quite a thick book.

"This is, like, Ludwig! He's totally the genius of the family. He's all into that sciency stuff," Wendy stated. Ludwig peered from his book at Peach and then back.

"Greetings, Mother Peach. I'd give you a more proper greeting, but I must pay full attention for the information that I'm reading is crucial to my latest experiment," Ludwig murmured. Wendy rolled her eyes and led the dumbfounded princess to what appeared to be the playroom, which was an enormous room filled with numerous toys. There were two koopas- twins, they appeared to be- playing. The only difference was that one had crazy glasses and the other was balancing on a ball.

"Mama Peach, this is Iggy and Lemmy. They're not exactly twins but they definitely act and look like twins," Wendy explained. Iggy and Lemmy stopped playing to take a look at Peach.

"Hello, Mama Peach!" Iggy called.

"Nice to meet you," Lemmy finished. Then, the two of them went back to playing. Wendy rushed Peach outside and closed the door before they got hit with the ball Lemmy was balancing on. Wendy then led Peach to a room all the way at the end of the hallway. She knocked on the door. After a few minutes, a muffled voice said, "Come in."

"Like, Mama Peach! This is Larry. He's kinda a weirdo, if ya ask me," Wendy said. Larry glared at Wendy, but almost instantly turned back to Peach and gave a soft smile.

"My sister can be very judgmental at times, which is why I stopped listening to her a LONG time ago," Larry cooly stated. Peach noticed that there were all kinds of plants in his room. She smiled back as Wendy closed the door.

"I wouldn't suggest getting on his bad side," Wendy said.

"Why?"

"Ah, y'know Larry. He's just a weirdo like that. Somehow he always just gets revenge," Wendy dreamily stated. She continued to walk down the hall when immediately stopped. "Oh, I just remembered!!" Peach patiently waited for the young koopa to say something. "…Nah, never mind. You really wouldn't want to meet him. He's a total pain in the neck!"

"Hm? Who, Wendy?"

"Well, our brother Morton. He's a REAL talker. And the majority of the time, he talks about NOTHIN'," Wendy grumbled. As if on cue, a young koopa with a star as a birthmark popped from the ceiling.

"DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME!?"

"Oh, boy."

The young koopa analyzed Peach for a second and turned to Wendy. "Hey, is this Mama Peach? I think it's Mama Peach. I mean, y'know, she's in princess clothes and all and she's wearing pink! Like a peach! Hahaha! Isn't that weird?" Wendy slapped herself on the forehead and shook her head. Then, she turned to Peach and mumbled, "This is Morton…"

Morton turned to Peach and gave her the widest smile ever. "Heya, Mama Peach! You want to hear a joke?" Wendy motioned for her to say no, but the polite princess didn't seem to notice.

"Sure, I'd love to hear a joke, Morton."

"Well, okay! So there were these two guys, right? Haha, yeah! They were delivering some smoked ham to some guy, right? And the ham just kept complaining and complaining. So one of the guys, right? He was like, 'Hey, Mongol! Why does this ham keep complaining?' And Mongol was like, 'That's an easy one, Chowder! It's because we cooked it in WINE!'"

Morton started laughing hysterically and rolled around on the floor. Wendy grabbed Peach's wrist and led her to the family room before Morton could tell them another joke. "Well, that was our lovely family!"

Peach gave a nervous smile. "Oh, yes. You're family really is… lively." Wendy laughed.

"Hey, y'know, Mama Peach? I thought I was gonna hate you," Wendy giggled. Peach cocked an eyebrow wondering whether she should thank the girl or what. "But, y'know? You ain't half bad for a Mushroom Kingdom girl! I mean, sure you don't wear all that much mascara, but you still have some pretty good fashion sense!" Peach sweatdropped.

"Um, thank you, Wendy," she said. Wendy gave a sweet smile.

"Sure thing. Oh, and you it's near dinnertime. Time for you to prepare our dinner! And you better hurry before King Daddy comes home! He gets awfully grumpy when his dinner isn't ready right at dinnertime!" Wendy said as she skipped down the hallway.

LUNCH? Peach thought. What in the world am I going to serve a family of koopas for dinner? Oh, and when that Bowser comes back home, I'm going to have lots to say! …But first, I must prepare dinner With that, Peach hurried to the kitchen to cook up something edible the koopa family could eat.