When Veronica had found out about Logan and Madison's one night stand in Aspen, she had wanted to be sick. Had she had anything in her stomach, she would have been. That would have been great – to throw up all over Madison Sinclair. Embarrassing, yes, but there would have been something fulfilling about it.
However, after she broke up with Logan, she actually was sick, repeatedly. Psychology had taught her that what she was experiencing was a psychosomatic reaction to the emotional stress in her life. In other words, she was so heartbroken that it was manifesting itself physically and making her sick. That night, after she thought she was done throwing up what seemed like everything she'd eaten in her entire life, the bathroom started to spin and take on a sort of fuzzy quality. Ten seconds of looking at that, and she had her head in the toilet again, dry heaving.
When she looked up again, the world was clearer, and Lilly Kane was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. She was wearing a pink dress and examining her nails, like there was no reason in the world that she shouldn't be exactly where she was. After a moment, she looked up and smiled at Veronica. "Veronica Mars! Don't tell me you've been doing too much partying?"
Veronica shook her head and stood up on shaky legs. She made her way to the sink, filled a cup with water, and rinsed out her mouth. She refilled the cup and gulped some of it down, hoping it would soothe her throat. "Why, Lilly?" she croaked out.
Lilly didn't need to ask her to clarify. Since she was probably just in Veronica's head, that made a kind of sense to her. "He was a movie star," she said quietly, more serious than she'd ever been in life.
"He was your boyfriend's dad. Logan's dad. And you knew about the abuse. You had to. All the sex you guys were having, you had to have been blind to not notice every time he showed up with fresh welts."
"Believe it or not, it really had nothing to do with Logan. He never even entered my mind the few times we were together. Honestly, it had as much to do with Logan as the thing with Weevil did." Lilly shrugged helplessly. "We're all star fuckers, Veronica. I just did it literally. And I chose the wrong star."
As much as Veronica loved Lilly's carefree attitude in life, it irked her now, though she couldn't see why. Lilly was dead, and so was her murderer. If anyone had a right to be carefree at this point, it was Lilly. "But god, Lil, why would you even want to?"
Another shrug. "He was hot, rich. and famous. I was sort of single. He hit on me and I knew how much it would piss off the parentals. Come on, knowing everything you know now, you can't tell me you don't see how it happened."
Well, she did when it was explained like that. "Sort of single?" She knew that she and Logan had been broken up at the time, but were Lilly and Weevil ever officially a couple? Was there someone else in the mix she didn't know about?
Lilly chuckled. "As single as you can possibly be when Logan Echolls is in love with you."
Veronica smiled for the first time that day. She knew exactly with Lilly meant. The whole time she was with Duncan, the second time around, she'd somehow felt that she was cheating on Logan, as ridiculous as that was. It was like she had two boyfriends. The perfect, public Duncan, and the hide-in-the-janitor's-closet, don't-ever-admit-you're-still-in-love-with-him, often-fucked-up-beyond-all-recognition Logan. Even after Duncan left, in the months between his departure and her reunion with Logan. every time she was asked if she was single, she had to think about it. What it all came down to was, Logan's love was so intense, so all-consuming, that the object of his love couldn't help but return it at least a little.
She shook her head. "Whether it was about Logan or not, it still ripped his heart out. The love of your life sleeping with the person you despise most in the world? How would you feel about it, Lilly?"
A ghost of a smile appeared on Lilly's lips. "I never had a love of my life, so I wouldn't know. Anyway, you have to know how much I wish I could take back what happened with Aaron." She paused, crossing her legs and going back to examining her nails while Veronica brushed her teeth to get rid of the smell and taste of vomit. "In fact, I bet I regret it about as much as Logan regrets what happened with Madison."
Veronica choked on her toothpaste, bent over the sink, and coughed up bile and the water she'd just swallowed. So that's what this little visitation is really about.
Lilly's smile grew wider. She didn't enjoy seeing Veronica in pain, but her reaction told her well enough that her friend was far from over Logan.
"How did you know about that?" Veronica asked, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she had to roll her eyes. Of course Lilly would know.
Lilly gave her a look that clearly stated 'Duh,' then said, "If you seriously think that this is the end of you and Logan, then you're an idiot."
She went through the whole process of rinsing out her mouth again, and this time, Lilly was nice enough to keep quiet until she was done. Finally, she said, "He slept with Madison, Lilly. Just knowing that makes me feel dirty for touching anything that's touched her."
"You're a little old to believe in cooties, aren't you?" Lilly asked, still clearly a little amused at the whole situation.
Veronica turned to look at her. "Is it just me, or are you actually trying to get me back together with your ex boyfriend?"
Lilly laughed. "Let's not have any illusions here. If I were alive, this would be a problem, a big one. Like, nuclear fallout big. But, since I'm not, I get to spend my time playing matchmaker. So the answer to your question is yes, I want you and Logan together." Her eyes twinkled. "If nothing else, you have to admit that the boy is a god in the sack. Much better than his dad. And I don't even want to know how much better than the Donut he is."
Blushing, she replied, "Yeah, okay, I gotta give him that. God in the sack, check. Still in love with him..." She met Lilly's eyes and sighed. "Check. Betrayed me with the closest thing I've ever had to an arch-nemesis, check."
Lilly shook her head. "He didn't betray you." She looked around the bathroom and spotted a color of nail polish that she apparently liked, picked it up and started shaking it. When she decided it was mixed enough, she raised her bare foot to the side of the tub, letting her dress ride up her thigh, and started painting her toenails. "You had no claim on him at the time. You two were broken up."
"Yeah, he dumped me so he could go have sex with Madison."
"Are you even listening to yourself? Logan dumped you because you were saying you were in love with him, or at least, you were saying yes when he asked you, point blank, all the while acting like he was little more than a nuisance to you. You really think he had Madison Sinclair, the queen bitch of Neptune High, on his mind when he practically ripped his own heart out and dropped it into your hand?"
Veronica sighed again. Lilly had a point. "Okay, no, but..."
"Plus, the actual event? I'd bet my life, if I still had one, that Logan was so drunk that he wasn't even aware that he was having sex, much less who he was having it with. And I'd volunteer to get hit in the head with an ashtray all over again if Madison wasn't shoving shots down his throat all night. You have to remember, this is the girl that makes me look like an angel."
"Madison didn't sleep with Logan's dad," Veronica said quietly. Lilly's betrayal still stung. Of course she could forgive her; she'd forgive Lilly almost anything, and the sin had already been more than paid for, but it was hard sometimes.
"No, but here's the difference. Most of the things I did weren't malicious. Self-centered, sure, definitely, but most of the time, hurting people wasn't my ultimate goal. Madison is malicious. And she's hated you since the day I decided you were far more fabulous than her. She knew damn well the best way to get at you would be to fuck Logan. Personally, I think you should be thrilled that she had to get him super drunk to do it."
"How do you know he was drunk?" she asked. "Please tell me you didn't watch."
"Ew," Lilly said simply. "Please, had I been there, they'd both have been covered in ectoplasmic vomit. I know because I know Logan, and so do you. You think he'd consciously sleep with his best friend's one long term girlfriend, who happens to also be Satan incarnate, while also ruining any chance he'd ever have with you? Logan may be self-destructive, but that would be a new low."
Veronica sat down on the edge of the tub next to her dead best friend. "I guess you're right."
"Of course I am. That's like, what I do. So, are you going to fix this or what?"
"You think I can?" she asked. "I mean, honestly, how many times can Logan and I break up before one of us gives up for good?"
"Logan's not gonna give up, Veronica. He's more in love with you than he ever was with me. He'll fight for you." Her hand slipped and painted bright pink nail polish over her toe. She bit her lip and wiped it off. "But frankly, if he hasn't proven himself to you through all the shit, starting with his mom taking a swan dive off of that bridge, and ending with him getting arrested again so he could beat the crap out of those rapist guys that almost got you, then he's never going to. And it would be your loss. And not only because you'll probably never find someone as steamy as him."
Veronica looked up from studying her own nails to meet Lilly's eyes. "I'll call him tomorrow," she said quietly.
"Great! There's hope for you yet, Veronica Mars." Lilly stood up and smoothed out her dress. "Now I really should get going. Various dead celebrities to party with, you know. But if you think he won't think you're crazy, tell Logan that I'm sorry. You do promise you'll call him tomorrow?"
The front door opened, then slammed closed. She heard her dad's voice and turned her head to listen. "Veronica, honey? I brought the cookie dough fudge mint chip. I'm told it is the preferred ice cream for horrible breakups."
When she turned back to see Lilly, she was already gone. "I promise."