Disclaimer: Do I look like Kishimoto Masashi? Of course I don't Naruto…but I'd like to own Kakashi ;-D
A/N: I'm back! After a rather decent attempt at a kakasaku fic I'm here to try my luck again. It appears ShipperTrish has become sort of a muse as it is her fics that bring forth the inspiration to write. "What gives people the right to judge others" (ending line of chp 11 in 'What the New Year brings' by said author)…a hell of a statement, and the basis of my story. So read up and don't forget to R&R after! Now that my notices are over, I do hope u enjoy.
"Age is just a number", "love knows no boundaries", "if loving you is wrong I don't want to be right", and all that jazz…yeah, once upon a time I too was preaching those words. Then reality hit and the clichés rolled off the tongue like a bad after taste. Soon enough those declarations of love become contorted when society starts calling you a sadistic bastard for ever having those kind of feelings for a girl like her. Sons of bitches, all of them if you ask me. Me, I'm Hatake Kakashi, and I was in love with a girl younger than myself. My age you ask? 32 golden years and I've still got it hehe. The age difference? 14 years…14 years too much if you ask me, but what did I care, I was in love. Was? No, still am. Forever will that girl have a place reserved in my heart for her. Now that the guy in the back has finished screaming 'paedophile' I can tell you this; our love couldn't be purer! So what happened you say, I hurt her in the worst possible ways a man could hurt a woman; I broke, no, destroyed her heart. I'm Hatake Kakashi, and this is my bittersweet symphony.
Sweet as Taboo
Chapter 1: The sakura's blossom
"Isn't spring just beautiful Kaka-sensei?" she asks me with that effervescent twinkle in her eye as she languorously admires the beauty of the season, the petals she was named for dancing melodiously wherever the wind decides to take it. I give her my typical response, that infamous eye-crease of approval and too join her in admiration of nature's wonders.
She being one of them.
Sigh, what the hell is wrong with me? When did these thoughts about Sakura start emerging, why are they even surfacing? I think I should lay off on the Icha Icha for a while and clear my head of its sin. But…she's just so damn gorgeous, intelligent; she's matured in ways I wouldn't have given her credit for five years back when her whole world revolved around Sasuke and becoming a shinobi was an excuse to be near him. Now, look at my jounin medic who thrives on giving her all to her patients and her team mates. No longer does she look down at Naruto for his constant clowning around, but aims to be just like if not better than the aspiring Hokage, and as for Sasuke…she's still in love with him, but that drive to obtain him has died down over the years.
Yes, my little Sakura, just as the springtime flowers, has blossomed. Blossomed into a woman. A strong, dedicated, independent, stunning…
"Kakashi?" She's calling my name with a slightly puzzled expression on her face. Damn, she caught me day-dreaming again. At least she doesn't know it's that very face that's been plaguing my thoughts.
"Hai Sakura?" I simply reply.
She's covering her mouth, muffling a barely audible chuckle. Now what could be so funny all of a sudden?
"Kaka-sensei, you have… (chuckle)…you have several petals on your head," and she releases the laugh no longer able to contain it. Ah, so I look like a fruitcake, understandable. Now if I could only see above my tower of silver hair to get the crap off then…
Kami why is she close now? Oh, she's taking it off for me, but does she realise how close her bosom is to my face? Not that I don't mind but…kami, what the hell was that?! You don't mind? Sick, sick, sick! Gotta burn the Icha Icha tonight…okay, maybe burning is a bit extreme, I'll donate it to some poor homeless guy. He's sure to get a kick out of it.
"All done," she says as she returns to her end of the park bench, a graceful smile painted across those delicate lips as she hold out her handful of flower petals for the wind to sweep them away. "You were day-dreaming again weren't you Kaka-sensei," she then asks, inching just a bit towards me but within a respectable distance.
"You don't have to call me 'sensei' you know Sakura. You're under the apprenticeship of the Godaime, so you're fully permitted to refer to me as just Kakashi." Besides, the title just reminds me of how ancient I really am.
"I know," she replies quietly bowing her head as though unsure of what to say next. "It's just…it seems more respectable to still call you sensei. I just couldn't see you as anything more or less than the best teacher I've had thus far."
And that's what sealed it for me. I'm nothing more than her teacher; not a possible lover, maybe a friend, but always within that age-borderline, one that must never be crossed. But why am I fussing, there are lots of respectable beautiful women in Konoha that are within my age bracket. There's Anko…okay maybe not Anko. Wild in bed yes, but not a person meant for commitment. Hmm, there's Kurenai…no, was Kurenai. Bastard, why'd you break her heart? I could've had something with her, but the whole concept of marriage scared the crap out of me then. But hey, some good came out of it. She and Asuma are celebrating their two year anniversary next month, and I hear she's expecting as well. So Anko's out, and Kurenai, and well Sakura has just been scratched off the list.
There you have it Kakashi, you're out of options, and you're not getting any younger. Someone up there must really hate me.
"I didn't mean ill of it Kaka--Kakashi." Wait, did she just say something? It sounded like, like my name, minus the 'sensei'. Kami I've got to stop this revering.
"I'm sorry Sakura, I didn't hear you."
"I said I didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything." She's looking at me with glassy eyes now, her bottom lip silently trembling as she awaits my answer.
"Why do you think that?"
"Because I saw your brows furrow after I called you teacher. But I want you to know you've become more than that. You're a true friend Kakashi, and sometimes I do feel like I can tell you anything. I guess that's why I wished our little tradition didn't end after that day you found me crying here."
Ah yes, our park tradition. Every Monday and Friday we'd come here, sit in the serenity of the park till dusk, or talk our lives away as though we hadn't seen each other in years. We'd speak of the week's activities, the daily troubles of life, missions, any topic we could conjure. It's the most fun I've had with a woman with her clothes on, the innocence of it all making out time spent together time to be treasured.
"I don't want it to end either Sakura. It's nice to get away from the world of shinobi once in a while and just enjoy the company of another that feels the same," I reply and flash her my eye-crease smile again. And as my sentence lingers in my mind I realise that's how these feelings for her became. I never felt more alive, more free and comfortable to be myself than when I am with her. Of course, there's always a cloud of mystery about my past and parts of myself that I'd rather not say. Too many disturbing memories. But that air of ambiguity is what keeps them wondering 'who is the real Kakashi' and always curious about my infatuation with never showing the bottom half of my face.
So why is it that she just makes me want to strip all of it off and give her my all?
"It's getting late Kakashi, I should be—" but I stop her before she continues.
"Wait, did you just call me Kakashi?" No 'sensei' or 'san' after?
"I guess I did," she smiles at me with a slight shrug of the shoulders. "No need for formalities between friends right?" I could only reply with a smile of my own through my mask.
"Before I forget, this is for you." She goes into her bag and produces a pink envelope with my name engraved on the front. It has an alluring scent, lavender I believe.
"What's this for Sakura?"
"My birthday party silly. I'm throwing it at the community centre tomorrow."
"You'll be eighteen ne?"
"Yep," she replies with a small blush creeping up her face. "My big 'welcome into adulthood'."
"Well, I've always believed you reached there before you knew it. Age is just a number sometimes."
"It is," she agrees with a soft look. The array of crimson, blue and orange rays behind her and the way the soft breeze toys with her pink tresses makes the view before me seem surreal; can angels come down to earth, for I think I'm staring into the eyes of one right now.
"Well, see you tomorrow then?" she asks.
"I don't know Sakura. All your friends will be there, I rather not embarrass them by showing them what being young and cool is all about." Okay, that was corny, but she likes my lame jokes. She just can't help but giggle at my absurdity…how the sound of her voice is like a lullaby!
"You won't Kakashi," she says after a good laugh. "Besides, I've invited a couple other teachers as well."
"Such as?" Kami please don't let Gai be on that list!
"Well Iruka-sensei of course, Asuma, Kurenai, Tsunade-sama, and…oh yes, Gai-sensei."
"Okay, then I'll be there. Just promise me this one thing," and I hold out my baby finger for her to swear with.
"Promise me you won't get upset if I decide to beat the crap out of Gai if he gets all 'youthful' on my ass."
"Only if you promise not to restrain me if I do the same to Lee," she laughs, springing forth a smile to my own face.
"Deal" and we lock fingers with impish grins across our mouths. The feel of her skin against mine for that brief moment was enough to raise the hairs behind my neck and surface those sinful ideologies of us ever being lovers. Just another fancy, right? Sick and sadistic fantasy meant for bastards like me.
"I should go; I've got a work load of preparations to do for this party. See ya Kakashi!" and she waves me off, her figure blurred as she dashes off home.
Is it really wrong to have these feelings for her? To want to be with someone as genuine as she is regardless how much younger they are than you? I'm old enough to be a brother, not father, but does that make much of a difference? Isn't love supposed to be limitless, break all boundaries that try to suppress it? I don't want her body, kami no, I want to love and protect and die for her. But what will people think of it, of a relationship between a teacher and his ex-student? What should we care if we're in love, good honest true love?
I end my monologue for the day and return to that forsaken apartment of mine, wondering all the while what it would be like to go home to someone like Sakura, to a warm bed with the one you love where all your worries are shattered for the passions that erupt in the night.