Same Old Song And Dance
A/N: SasuNaru, AU. I figure I'm allowed at least one AU…per fandom. Che, shut up, if you don't like it, leave points toward door. Anyways, should be a three-shot. I think.
It's real-present time AU. And yeah, Iruka is Naruto's adoptive father. Sasuke's family isn't dead. And Kakashi is their teacher. Pfft.
"And don't fight with anyone today, okay?" Iruka asked, smoothing down unruly blonde hair.
"Ugh! Dad, stop it! I'll be fine." Naruto, five-and-three-quarters, thank-you very much, whined.
"I know, I know. Just, be nice, okay?"
"Okay…" Naruto sighed and turned around as the school bus turned onto his street. He was finally going to kindergarten; he was a big kid now. But his dad was still acting like he was a preschooler. Totally unfair.
"Alright, do you have your lunch?" Iruka asked as the bus rumbled closer.
"Ahh! Yeah, Dad, I got it." Naruto yelled as the bus stopped in front of him.
"Okay, okay. Give me a kiss," Iruka bent down to hug his little son, smacking a kiss to his cheek.
"Aw, Dad, people can see me." Naruto groaned, scrubbing at his cheek, which had a light blush on it.
The bus door opened. Naruto gave his dad a quick hug.
As the bus door closed, Iruka closed his eyes," I just hope he doesn't get in a fight."
On the bus, Naruto sat in the last empty seat. Across the aisle from his were two boys, about his age. One had his hair pulled in a spike ponytail, he was either staring outside the window or sleep, Naruto couldn't tell because his face was turn away. The other boy was chubby and was munching on chip after chip.
"Hi, I'm Naruto." He said to the two boys.
"I'm Choji, that's my neighbor, Shikamaru." Chip-boy said through a mouthful of potato chips.
"Cool." Naruto smiled. Shikamaru shifted to look at the blonde boy.
At the next stop, a boy with shaggy brown hair got on the bus. He plopped next to Naruto.
"Hey." The new kid said.
"Hi, I'm Naruto." Naruto really liked to meet new people." That's Choji, and that's Shikamaru." He pointed to each boy respectively.
"I'm Kiba." Kiba hesitated, then said," Can you guys keep a secret?"
"Sure!" Naruto told him, nodding. Choji grunted and Shikamaru muttered something, but turned his attention to the other boys.
"Alright, check this out." Kiba looked around before opening his book bag, a small black nose appeared, closely followed by the white head of a puppy.
"You brought a d-"Naruto's shout was cut off by Kiba's hand landing over his mouth.
"Shh. It's a secret." Naruto nodded and Kiba slowly removed his hand." I just couldn't leave Akamaru at home all day."
"You're going to get in trouble if you don't put that away." An 'I-am-far-superior-to-you' voice said.
"Says who?" Kiba asked, but re-buttoned his book bag. The four boys looked toward a first grader whose seat was behind theirs.
The first grader had long brown hair pulled into a loose pony tail, his eyes were a pale color and he wasn't looking at them. Next to him, a kid with bowl-cut black hair and a bright green tee-shirt nudged Mr. Pale Eyes.
"Neji, don't scare them, they're only kindergarteners." Frog boy ignored the shouts of 'we aren't scared' and turned his huge eyes toward them. "I'm Lee. This is Neji. Don't listen to what he says, but you will get in trouble if anyone knows about Akamaru."
"I know that." Kiba snapped.
The bus screeched to a halt again. The white haired bus driver opened the bus door. Two boys got on the bus.
Kiba moved out of the aisle that he had leaned into the talk to Lee so that the two raven-haired boys could get on.
The older of the two boys had an air of superiority about his. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch his progress to the back of the bus, where the Big Kids sat.
"Who is that?" Naruto asked, looking at the younger of the two, who followed his brother to the back.
The bus started again, and with it so did the conversations.
"Itachi Uchiha, he's a fourth grader." Lee said, Neji grunted his agreement.
"And the younger one?"
"Uhm, Itachi's little brother, I don't know his name, though. Uh, he's in kindergarten too." Lee said.
"Itachi is really stuck up. Just what we need, another Uchiha in the school." Neji mumbled.
"Oh, he can't be that bad." Kiba said, looking toward the back of the bus.
"He is." Both Neji and Lee said.
"Oh, great." Shikamaru said.
By the time Naruto entered the kindergarten classroom, only a few seat were open, so he and his new friends had to separate.
Naruto ended up next to the Uchiha kid.
The bell rang for class to begin and their teacher still wasn't there. Naruto turned to the raven next to him. He couldn't be as bad as Lee and Neji said his brother was, right?
"Hi, I'm Naruto!"
The kid stared at his desk.
"Um, hi?" Naruto said.
The Uchiha examined his hand.
"Hello?" Naruto waved his hand in front of the other kid's face.
"Hey!" Naruto repeatedly poked Sasuke's shoulder.
"Moron, stop touching me." The Uchiha said.
"Oh, so you can talk, then? What's your name?"
"None of your business."
"Aw, c'mon just tell me." Naruto complained. Poke.
"So, if your brother is as snobby as you are, Neji and Lee weren't overreacting." Naruto said, turning away from the raven.
"My brother isn't a snob and neither am I!" The Uchiha almost-shouted.
"Well, then you're a very good actor, because you have me convinced." Naruto yelled.
"At least I have manners!" The Uchiha shouted.
Naruto stood up and pointed at the raven and glared. "Shut up."
"So, Sasuke and Naruto is it?" A bored voice asked from the front of the room. Naruto and the raven-Sasuke? - turned to see a man with silver hair staring at them from over the top of the attendance sheet.
Naruto nodded and Sasuke stared.
"Well then, Naruto, if you would please sit down and the two of you would stop shouting, we'll start the day's lesson."
Naruto and Sasuke blushed lightly and Naruto took his seat. The rest of the class stared at them. And Kiba laughed from where he was sitting next to a loud blonde girl.
The bell rang, declaring it time for recess.
Naruto jumped out of his seat. He and Sasuke had been glaring at each other all day, and his eyes hurt. The raven had purposely spilled paint on Naruto's drawing during craft time. Naruto retaliated by spilling glue onto Sasuke's seat and 'forgetting' to tell him before he sat down.
Kiba joined Naruto in running out of the classroom toward the doors that lead to the playground.
"So, how's the Uchiha kid?" Kiba asked when the two had reached the kickball field.
"Stupid. I hate him, he's a snob. Lee and Neji were right about the Uchihas." Naruto grumbled, watching as a third grade girl yelled at some fourth grade boy for not letting her play kickball.
"What were we right about?" A voice asked.
"Hey guys, Naruto was just saying that you're right about the Uchihas , if Sasuke is anything to go off of." Kiba sniggered.
"Well, yeah. We're never wrong." Neji rolled his eyes. Lee smiled brightly.
"Sure you're not." Shikamaru said, walking toward the four boys, Choji in tow.
"So," an arrogant voice said," I hear you gave my little brother a hard time."
"Itachi." Neji growled.
"Stay out of this Hyuga." Itachi said.
"Your brother started it, I just asked his name." Naruto said, crossing his arms and staring defiantly up at the elder Uchiha.
"You poked me, moron." Sasuke stepped in front of his brother.
"Whatever, kindergarteners. Uzumaki, just leave my brother alone." Itachi growled, turning to walk away.
"Tch, jerk." Naruto muttered.
"Don't talk to Itachi!" Sasuke shouted and launched himself at Naruto.
"Don't talk to me!" Naruto was tackled into the grass by Sasuke. They both struggled to be on top; throwing punches and kicks and Naruto even bit Sasuke a few times.
"Hey, get off of my brother." Itachi pulled Naruto up by his shirt collar.
"Leave Naruto alone." Neji yelled, punching Itachi. That was definitely gonna be a shiner come tomorrow.
Naruto was dropped as Itachi was bulled over by Neji. Sasuke crawled over to where Naruto was laying down, trying to catch his breath.
The scuffle had turned into an all out brawl. Itachi's friend Kisame had tried to pry Neji off of the raven, but was tackled by Lee, shouting something about fighting fair. Shikamaru and Choji were holding back some blonde fourth grader called Deidara. Kiba was laughing.
"You- y'know this all you fault right?" Sasuke gasped.
"All your fault, you mean?" Naruto said, look up at Sasuke.
"Fine our fault." Sasuke said, then punch Naruto's face.
"Stop! Stop it!" The fight was broken up by a busty, blonde woman. Tsunade, the principal.
"Um." Naruto muttered. Sasuke rolled his eyes.
Naruto's feet swung back and forth, dangling down from the chair in the school's office.
Sasuke glared at Naruto, who was next to him. Both were bandage and Naruto a huge bruise on his cheek. Sasuke was holding a tissue to his bleeding nose.
"Yes, thank you Tsunade." Iruka said, walking out of the principal's office.
Iruka scrubbed a hand over his face and knelt down in front of Naruto.
"What did I tell you about fighting?"
"Uh, not to do it?" Naruto answered, still glaring at Sasuke.
"Right. Naruto, this is your first day of kindergarten. And you're already suspended for the rest of the week. For fighting." Iruka emphasized the last word.
"Sorry?" Naruto frowned harder when Sasuke sneered. The blonde stuck out his tongue.
"Okay, we're leaving. Now." Iruka pulled Naruto out of the chair. "But first apologize."
Sasuke and Naruto stared at each other. Then they both turned their heads away.
"No, he's a jerk and he got what he deserved. It's his fault we're in trouble." Naruto said.
"Idiot, I didn't do anything, you started it." Sasuke told Naruto.
"I only asked your name!" Naruto shouted back. They were glaring again.
"Okay, we're leaving now." Iruka said, pulling Naruto away from Sasuke. Both boys had their tongues sticking out at each other.
"But Dad, I really didn't start it!" Naruto complained.
When Naruto returned to school the next week, both he and Sasuke had to spend lunch and recess in detention. So did the other boys who were fighting. But somehow, Naruto and Sasuke ended up sitting next to each other.
"Y'know you got me in trouble." Naruto murmured to Sasuke. Both boys were pretending to read.
"I'm in trouble too, idiot. We're in detention, remember?" Sasuke drawled slowly.
"You are a mean person." Naruto said, frowning at Sasuke.
Sasuke's lips twitched slightly.
"And you are a stupid person." The raven muttered back.
"Ugh." Naruto said, turning back to the book he was supposed to be reading. He stared at it until Kakashi, his teacher, said they could eat lunch.
Naruto opened his lunch box. Ew, peanut butter and jelly.
"I'll trade you." Naruto said to Sasuke, who had a tuna sandwich.
"Hn. Fine." Sasuke did like peanut butter.
A/N: And that is part one. I love the thought of chibi-Naru wrestling chibi-Sasu. Mmmm.
Oh, and KairiofKonoha wrote a story for me. It's called Summer's Heat. It's SasuNejiNaru. Threesome! For me! Go read it. It is smut! g