How Piper Saved The Wizarding World

Summary: Oneshot. Harry Potter/Charmed crossover. Never mess with a witch on a mission. The Dark Lord found that out the hard way.

A/N: I'm surprised nobody thought of this idea sooner, but oh well. :)


Piper was late. So late.

Like nearly out of business late.

She was supposed to be at the club an hour and thirty minutes ago to meet with the not-usually-in-town, once-in-a-lifetime, there-will-be-no-other-opportunity DJ that she had, by some miracle, managed to book for P3 tonight.

If she landed this DJ, it would put P3 in the black, or the red, or whichever one meant you were rolling in it, for at least a year.

Precisely because of this fact, Piper was completely flustered. She had been held up fighting Creeper demons, and those suckers stank at the best of times - resulting in her having to take a decent shower, or risk showing up smelling like she had just committed a homicide and burned the body. Not the best way to make a good impression.

Piper thought she and her sisters, the Charmed Ones, had taken care of the Creepers before Wyatt's Wiccaning but oh no, they just had to go and hatch again. Piper practically flew out of the kitchen, grabbing her handbag whilst simultaneously attempting to smooth out her hair, muttering murderously under her breath. However, before she could reach the haven of her car, a tall, black-robed something appeared from nowhere, blocking her path.

"Aw, this is just great," Piper said, groaning heavily. "Who the hell are you?"

The tall, robed thing lifted its head and Piper saw, to her utter disgust, two slits for eyes staring at her in a way that made her skin crawl.

"I am Lord Voldemort," the demon, as Piper assumed, said.

"Well, that's wonderful for you, I'm sure," Piper retorted sharply.

"You are a Charmed One?" he - or it, Piper wasn't too sure - asked.

"I... am so very, very late, so could we possibly do this another time?" Piper sighed, knowing that she was probably going to be very much more late than she already was.

"You dare be so insolent to the Dark Lord?!" he cried, his slitted nostrils flaring with his outrage at the witch's insolence.

Piper snorted, and muttered to herself; "The 'Dark Lord'. How the hell do they come up with these names?"

Then she addressed the demon-y thing. "Look, I don't have time for this, so are you here to kill me, or what?"

Well, after eight years of vanquishing demons, she wasn't going to beat around the bush.

"I am here to ask you to join me," he said, in what he probably thought was an alluring grin, but which actually made Piper want to vomit.

Piper sighed again, tapping her foot impatiently against the concrete. "Look, Dark Lord, or whatever the hell you're called, you're evil, yes?"

"There are no such things as good or evil, Charmed One. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it. Join me, and you can have as much power as you desire, and more! The opportunities that will present, the fun you will have, you cannot imagine-"

Piper sensed this was going to be a rather long-winded talk, and she didn't have time. Besides, he was wearing black robes and he was really, really ugly. All signs point to evil.

"-if you join me, you can have everything-"

Yikes. He was still yapping away.

"Yeah, yeah," Piper said, and raised her hands.

The Dark Lord, Voldemort, scourge of the Wizarding World, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named who brought fear into the hearts of every witch and wizard... exploded into a thousand dusty pieces, at the force of Piper's blast.

"Just not your day, is it?" Piper quipped as she walked towards her car, humming.


A/N: Hopefully this gave you a laugh. That was kinda my intention. :)

Lemme know anyway by pressing that pretty little Review button.

Raven. x