A few lines from New Moon are used here and there. Other than that, I just created my own version of what was going through Edward's mind when he left Bella. All characters belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer, I just write about 'em.
Love Me No More
Edward was silent as he drove Bella to her house. Though he wasn't Jasper, he could feel her getting anxious. Bella was tapping her fingers on her leg and throwing nervous glances at Edward. He couldn't blame her though. Edward had been acting different around her ever since the "birthday accident." It was a night he would never forget; the night he almost lost his reason for existence.
He was distant. Edward knew Bella thought something was wrong; she could sense it. Though she didn't blame Jasper for almost killing her, Edward knew that his family couldn't stay. He would have to leave her. Edward winced and gripped the wheel tightly.
"Edward?" Bella soft voice sounded hesitant.
Edward gave her a sideways glance. "Yes, Bella?"
She hesitated again. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Lies. He was not fine. He wanted to scream.
I don't want to leave you but I need to.
But did he? Did he really need to leave the love of his life? Since he's met Bella, he's felt whole; Bella was his other half.
If you loved her, you would've left a long time ago so she could live a normal life.
Edward was having a battle with himself. His conscience was telling him to do what he knew was right and leave but his heart... told him to stay.
His heart. Edward scoffed in his head. His heart had stopped beating almost one hundred years ago. How could you trust to follow something that was dead?
But was it right to leave? Even though he was fighting his desire to stay? Edward looked out the corner of his eye torwards Bella. She was staring straight ahead and had stopped fidgeting... she looked peaceful. Her lips were slightly open as she breathed in and out and her eyes held a look of wisdom.
Too much knowledge for a simple girl of 18. Edward thought. But she was anything but simple. Bella was the most complicated being Edward had ever had the fortune to meet. He peeked at her peaceful expression again.
Yes. He would have to leave her. Edward would not put her in anymore danger. She was too precious and he loved her too much.
Edward parked in the driveway. Charlie was home. Good. She'll have someone to take care of when I'm gone. Keep her mind occupied. Edward thought that Bella would have no problem getting over him. There would be pain but it wouldn't last. She is only human after all.
He got out of the car and opened Bella's door for her.
"Would you like to come in?" Bella's eyes were hopeful.
Edward breathed for the air he didn't need. "No. Bella, would you take a walk with me?"
"Of course." Bella leaned up to kiss Edward on the lips.
He leaned away. Hurt crossed Bella's face but Edward did not move. Instead, he grabbed her hand and started walking torwards the edge of the woods. When they reached the trees, he stopped and let go of her.
"Bella, we're leaving." Edward had to do this soon or he would never leave her.
"Where? Why so soon? Has Victoria found me?" Confusion followed by fear crossed Bella's features.
She didn't get it. Edward would have to elaborate. "No, Bella. You are not going anywhere. My family and I are leaving Forks."
Bella didn't move for a moment, didn't blink.
She let out a shaky breath and turned to stare at Edward. "Why?" Her eyes were wide.
This was torture. "I am putting you in danger. My family is putting you in–"
"Is this about my birthday?! Edward, it was my own stupid fault! I was clumsy! Don't you dare blame you or your family! You know you can't help how you react!"
She realized her mistake too late. Bella had just given Edward the ultimate reasoning to leave.
"Exactly." He kept his emotions in check, keeping his voice flat. "We can't help how we react. What happens the next time one of us wants to take a snap at you?" Bella winced but Edward continued. "We are dangerous creatures Isabella Swan. You are not safe around us."
Bella stood stock-still at being called her full name. Edward had said it formally, a sign he hoped she would see. Maybe if he started acting more detached with her, she would accept that they needed to leave.
Bella had tears in her eyes. Edward wanted to cry with her, to hold her in his arms and tell her it would be ok. For her at least. For him, he knew survival without Bella would be the least bit easy.
You're doing this for her. He reminded himself.
"Why?" Bella whispered, looking down. "I need you, Edward. You promised me that you'd stay with me for as long as I needed you."
"As long as it was the right thing to do." Edward was starting to hate those words. The right thing. He hated seeing Bella start to cry and know that he was the reasoning for it. What was right about that?!
Bella started to walk torwards him, tears streaming down her face, trying to grab on to him to make him stay. Edward was having trouble keeping his composure. He had to make her understand that she was better off without him, even if that meant he had to lie to her.
"Bella, I don't love you."
Bella stopped moving torwards him. She stopped crying. Her eyes, which were begging a moment before, turned to realization; understanding. She moved her hands to her sides and a blank expression crossed her face. "Well, that changes everything."
Edward realized she looked calm. This scared him... and confused him. How can she be so willing to believe I don't love her? Edward knew he was good liar when he had to be, but had he not expressed his love for Bella enough?
"I'll always love you, Isabella. Just not the way you've loved me."
Bella was still staring at Edward with that odd look. One tear escaped her eyes and then another.
"You. Don't. Love. Me." She said each word distinctly, nodding her head in understanding.
But you don't understand! Edward wanted to scream to her. I do love you! He hated himself. He hated having to lie to her but at least he had gotten through to Bella. Even if it was the worst thing to do, at least Bella would let him leave. Just as Edward knew she would when he said those words.
A strand of Bella's hair was whipping around her face from the sudden wind. Edward got hold of it and tucked it behind her ear. A tingling feeling went through his body when he touched her. Every physical contact he had with Bella sent waves of want through his body.
His hand moved from her hair to her cheek. Edward meant to move but Bella rested her hand over his, holding it in place. She closed her eyes and sighed.
This is too much. Edward couldn't take it. He was grimacing in pain. Thankfully, Bella still had her eyes closed.
"Goodbye, Bella." He whispered loud enough for her to hear.
In one quick motion, Edward removed his hand from Bella's face, lightly kissed her forehead and ran. He ran as fast as he could without a backwards glance. He didn't want to see Bella on her knees, crying silently with her hand still on her cheek.
This is NOT a one-shot. At first I had planned it to be, but the more I started writing the more I realized I couldn't leave it alone. More chapters to come!! Reviews are very much welcome and needed!!