Disclaimer: I do not own Reaper or any of the biblical imagery in the story. Thank you and please review!
Edit: I changed a description, Gladys's name has now been fixed, and Avarice has a new line toward the end.
Sam Oliver sighed heavily as he dragged a large bag of garbage outside of the workbench all the way toward the dumpster in the back. He opened the lid and was greeted with a burst of putrid air bursting out of the large gray dumpster that he had spent far too much time in when Ted had made him scrape out the gum back when he was "Dog-of-the-Month". Grudgingly, and with the mental picture of Ted's face gazing out at him from the bottom of the rancid garbage can, Sam thrust the bag of trash into the can and turned briskly around and-
Suddenly and unexpectedly Sam found himself no longer in the dreary gray parking lot of the Workbench, instead he was in a lavishly decorated room. All around him large bags were piled one on top of the other each containing items of clothes that cost more per thread than he earned in a year. The entire room seemed to shimmer with golden color that was the reflection of the bright glittering light of the diamond chandelier on the vast amounts of gold, silver, and other precious medals that seemed to decorate every inch of the new room. "Now what do you want?" Sam asked instantly. Sam was twenty one years old and just recently began working for a new boss part time. His new boss, was the Devil. And the lavish display before him could only belong to the maliciously grinning, well dressed, and disturbingly sophisticated Prince of Darkness.
"And like what is that supposed to mean?" asked a very irritated voice from behind him. Sam whipped around and found that he was not facing the gleaming dark eyes of the devil but actually looking over the head of someone quite different. The girl was shorter than he but looked close to his age, maybe a year younger. She had long golden hair that absolutely glistened in the elegant lighting that filled the unusual room. Her sunglasses were jewel studded and had slid partway down her nose revealing two golden eyes the color of new jewelry. Her hair had been pulled back into two pigtails and her hair bands were giant green money bags that matched the giant money sign on her black shirt, partially covered by a silver jacket. She wore a skirt that seemed to be sewn together from ever fathomable type of paper money from every country Sam knew and many he didn't. To top off her elaborate outfit she wore a ton of jewelry that probably cost more than Sam could hope to earn in a lifetime but matched the décor of the room perfectly. "Well?" she asked irritably before returning her expression to a childish pout. Sam noticed her perfect straight white teeth were decorated with jewel studded silver braces.
"You're…" began Sam thinking of several adjectives he would like to use including: rich, elaborate, spoiled, and irritable. Unfortunately what came out of his mouth was this: "Not the devil." The girl blinked uncertainly.
"Like super-mega-ultra-duh!" she said as-a-matter-of-factly. "Are you like that guy that daddy like has capturing like loose souls" she asked seeming to think Sam incapable of his own thoughts. Sam simply stared at her uncertainly. "Like hello?" she asked waving a hand in front of his face.
"Daddy?" he asked his voice cracking slightly when he spoke. The girl rolled her eyes at him; Sam obviously wasn't doing much to reassure her of his intellect.
"Daddy, like you know the like Devil? He's like my father." the girl said irritably. "Look, don't you like know who I like am?" she asked gesturing around her as if the glittering jewels and fine silk that covered the room should be a clue.
"Exceedingly rich?" Sam guessed. Surprisingly the girl seemed to lighten up at this. She giggled and smiled for the first time since Sam had seen her.
"Well, I can't like argue with that," the girl said placing her hand over her heart as if Sam had just paid her the biggest compliment. "Like, I'm Avarice." she said waiting for a reaction. When she received no recognition she lost her cheer and returned to being angry. "You know! Like of the Seven Deadly Sins?" she asked waiting for something to dawn on Sam.
"Avarice?" Sam repeated uncertainly.
"Avarice." she announced firmly as if this were the most vital bit of information Sam could ever hope to receive. Seeing no reaction, she rolled her golden eyes and decided to elaborate. "Greed, or like whatever you call me in like today's society."
"Wait a second… you're Greed?" Sam asked still not quite catching on. The girl nodded, her gaze was stern and she seemed to be searching for some sort of emotion in Sam's face but was unable to find it. Finally she gave up.
"Look, I'm like Sin incarnate ok? Like look it up on your own time." she said waving her heavily decorated hand dismissively. Sam had to hold his hand in front of his eyes to avoid being blinded by the glittering light reflected off of her plethora of jewels. "I like need you to catch like catch someone for me." Sam paused momentarily before bursting out laughing.
"Sorry, for a moment there I thought you just asked for my help." Sam said amused at the thought of another demon trying to hide him. To his surprise Avarice burst out laughing too. Her laugh was high pitched and annoying, it sounded like the laugh of every valley girl from every chick-flick Sam had ever been forced to sit through, only worse.
"Like, that is really funny." Avarice agreed giggling brightly. "Because like I didn't ask for like your help." Instantly her expression changed and her golden eyes narrowed. She pointed a perfectly manicured finger, that was hidden under several expensive rings, at Sam and continued in a much darker tone. "I am like ordering you to like do it."
"Hey now wait a second," Sam said lifting his arms and taking a cautious step away from the demon's outstretched finger uncertain of what exactly she was capable of. "I work for the Devil. I don't work as a Bounty Hunter for every demon with connections and a need."
"Uh like actually that's where you're like wrong." Avarice replied with a sigh. She snapped her heavily clad fingers and at once the large and aged book that Sam had seen many times appeared in her glittering and decorated hands.
"My contract!" Sam cried making a grab for the book but the demon girl was much faster she twirled out of his reach opening the cover. Carefully she thumbed through the tattered pages moving quickly to dodge Sam's futile efforts at retrieving the book from her.
"Like found it!" she called in a sing song voice as she whirled around and pointed to a small section of Latin text. "See it's like right here. You are like forced to work for the devil and like any member of his like immediate family. Then like here it like lists us: The Seven Deadly Sins like fourth from the top." she announced as-a-matter-of-factly.
"How do I know you aren't making that translation up. It's in Latin after all." Sam said skeptically. Avarice looked at him in complete disgust.
"You can't even like read like plain old Latin? Daddy was like totally right. You are like a total moron." she announced closing the book. "Well look it's not like my fault if you can't like read Latin. So like you do what your told like a good mortal and maybe I'll like reward you or something." She replied closing the book and causing it to vanish.
"Look if you want this done so badly then why don't you get "daddy" to come here and give me the mission himself." Sam retorted earning him the first uncertain look from the sin he had ever received. She faltered, seeming to be at a momentary loss for words. She bit her perfectly glossed lower lip and her golden eyes darted over her shoulder.
"Because…" she began slowly, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Daddy like doesn't exactly… know." Sam stared at the golden haired demon momentarily at a loss for words. What was this girl trying to pull? First she acts all high and might because she calls the Devil daddy but now when Sam asks for proof she shies away.
"You're telling me the devil doesn't know that whoever I'm supposed to catch is missing? You expect me to believe that?" Sam asked folding his arms. A flush of anger overcame Avarice's usually pale and inhuman flesh.
"Well it's like the truth ok? I can't like find my sister. I was supposed to be like watching her and like she wandered off into the mortal world. I need you to like find her and bring her back." Avarice ordered jabbing Sam surprisingly hard in the chest with her finger making him stumble for his footing. "If daddy finds out I like lost her, I am in like so much trouble. And I don't like deal well with trouble ok? And like, if I'm unhappy I will like make whatever is like left of your little mortal life as close to like a living Hell as I possibly can." As she spoke there was a second voice growling under the light and airy voice of the valley girl, the rumbling voice of a real demon.
"Okay, calm down." Sam said edging backward slightly away from the demon girl. It might have just been his imagination but he though the diamonds on her jewelry seem to be poking out slightly and he fancied he saw movement in one of the shopping bags. "Which sister is missing?" At this the demonic traces seemed to vanish and the ditz was once again dominant.
"My older sister, like Gluttony. She is like always wandering off in search of like food and stuff. So like, look wherever there's a lot of food." Avarice said taking a seat in one of the large plush chairs in the room and crossing her legs in a somewhat lady-like fashion.
"Do I get a vessel?" Sam continued. It was better to accept this one mission and risk Avarice lying to him than to find out she was telling the truth from his demonic boss and have a deadly sin hounding him for the rest of his life.
"What?" Avarice asked the girlish charm had now returned full scale to her voice. "What are you like babbling about now?"
"A vessel so I can take Gluttony to Gladys when I find her." Sam persisted. Avarice's expression changed again, this time to one of disgust.
"You can't like suck her into some satanic object like she's just some kind of escaped soul or something. Gluttony is like a deadly sin. Sticking one of like daddy's little toys in her face will just like tick her off. It's like demeaning to like even ask." There was a low growling sound at Avarice's feel and she absentmindedly began to stroke one of her many handbags until the sound subsided. "Thjat and like she'll probably try to like eat it or something."
"Then what do you want me to do with her if I find her?" Sam asked feeling a bit exasperated (and somewhat intimidated by the fact that he was almost certain that all of Avarice's many handbags were breathing).
"Like when you find her call me. Here's my like card." She reached into her purse and pulled out a bulging back wallet. She opened it and withdrew a golden credit card with a background of flames with the number 666 imprinted on it and the words "Demonic Express" in red letters across the top. "Just like run this through any credit card scanner and like I'll come right away. And don't try to like buy anything with it because it will like eat your hand." she added handing Sam the card which shuddered under his touch. "Oh and like one more thing."
"What?" Sam asked uncertainly.
"Don't like let any of my other sisters get their hands on like Gluttony ok? They'll do like anything to try to mess me up." she said and before Sam could reply he was back outside the Workbench