Disclaimer: I don't own the characters… I don't own the pick up lines…
Hmm… do you think I should watch the Superbowl instead of writing this? The only good parts are the commercials, anyhow. And half-time. Anyway.
This starts out when they're in the post-enemy semi-friends almost-lover stage.
"Hey, er, Lily?" I turned pink at the sound of his voice.
"Yeah, James?" I walked over to where he was sitting on the floor with papers and quills spread out in front of him. I knelt down and glance at the papers. Choking back laughter, I said, "Honestly, James, these are lists of pick-up lines! Really bad pick-up lines by the looks of it."
"Er… well, look… I er… I fancy this girl, see, and so I was wondering if you could help me figure out how to ask her out properly." James looked very nervous and vulnerable. It was irritatingly adorable, really, the way his voice was shaking. But I hadn't time to notice this: my heart was dropping into my stomach. James fancied someone? "Someone" meaning not me anymore? I had to admit, I had gotten used to his eager face, always bright and happy, popping out of nowhere to ask me out. Not anymore, I supposed.
"Er… sure," I said.
"So, erm, what do you think of these?" he gestured to a paper that said, "Hi, have you got a boyfriend? (if no,) Are you taking applications?"
"Ick. James, that one is just… ick." I said. "Next."
James read off the next paper. "'Congratulations! You've been voted the hottest girl in this room. Your grand prize is a date with me!'"
I burst out laughing. "That's one of the worst pick-up lines I've ever heard. Where'd you get these?"
"Sirius," James said, riffling through the other papers.
That explained it. "Okay, next."
"'Your clothes are nice, but they'd look better on my bedroom floor'," James laughed, a sound that was also irritatingly adorable. "Even I know not to use that one."
"Smarter than you get credit for, eh?" I leaned against the legs of a chair behind me. James shrugged, smiling a brilliant smile that was, indeed, irritatingly adorable.
I was starting to think everything about this boy was irritatingly adorable.
I coughed. "So, uh, next?"
"Er… let's see… ah." He cleared his throat. "Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"
"Wo-o-ow," I said, drawing out the word in sarcastic disbelief. "That's kind of sad. Give me one," James handed me a paper.
"'Hey, can I borrow your jersey?" I read. "Because I've always wanted your name and number.' Wo-o-ow," I repeated. "That's just pathetic."
"I don't get it," James said. "Why would she want his sports number?"
"It's a play on a phone number. You know, 'can I have your number?' They mean phone number."
"Phones have numbers?"
I sighed exasperatedly. "So ignorant of Muggle ways," I said. "Phone numbers are the numbers you punch into the telephone to get to the right person you want to talk to." He still looked slightly confused, so I continued, "It's like floo powder, you know? If you say the wrong name, you can't get to the right place. So, with a telephone, if you put in the wrong number, you can't reach the person you want to talk to."
"Oh," James said. "I get it. I think… anyway… what do you think of this one? 'Walk up to a girl, hold out your hand and say 'Would you mind holding on to this for me while I take a walk?'"
I couldn't help but smile. That one wasn't dirty or anything. It was really insanely lame, but it was also kind of cute. "It's pretty lame. But still, kind of adorable." Just like James was kind of adorable. Irritatingly so. "I forgot to ask… who's the girl you fancy, anyhow?"
"Merlin, Lily, you'd think you'd have caught on by now," James said softly, looking up to meet my eyes. If I had been able to breath at that point, I probably would have started hyperventilating.
"Erm…" I swallowed. "D'you... I mean… erm…"
"Time for one last line," he whispered, his face getting painfully close to mine. "If I kiss you, will you slap me?" he read off the paper.
"Not this time," I whispered back.
And so he kissed me. I won't go into gory details, mainly because it's not anything I can really describe. But it was good. Oh, holy Merlin was it good.
"So… does this… do you…?"
"If you're asking me out, I'm going to have to go with yes, James." He smiled his irritatingly adorable smile and hugged me.
"Finally," he whispered into my neck.
He was right. It was about time I'd done that.
Aw… please review! And for the record, I started watching the super bowl about halfway through writing this. It seemed un-American, somehow, to sit through super bowl Sunday without watching the game. So I really couldn't resist.
Reviews would be great!
HOLY PATRIOT CHEERLEADERS! I don't think I've ever seen women wearing less clothes! How disturbing! Not for boys, though. Boys like the cheerleaders… anyway… hope you liked the story!