My Favorite Night
A/N: It's a story I made after actually making a comic of this one really sad scene where I made Hinata set up this really sweet together-time with Naruto to create a 'perfect goodbye'. I never made it clear in my comic that Hinata was hiding a deeper secret when she leaves Naruto—so I wanted to re-make it, but it's easier said than done. I wrote this fanfiction to get the gist of what kind of emotion I want to convey out of Naruto and Hinata's strange interaction.
If all turns out well, I might actually continue this story, and who knows—maybe finish it. Still, it's originally supposed to be a one-shot, but if I get reviews telling me they want more—I do have an idea where I could take this story. Anyway—let's just call this chapter 'Chapter 1: Hinata's POV'… or something of the sort.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto—OBVIOUSLY! If I did, I wouldn't' call it 'Naruto', I'd call it 'Hinata', and I would constantly have Angst, Drama, and ROMANCE in it. It would be so awesome in my standards. It would be… very much like this FAN fiction.
Chapter 1: Three months ago
Two and a half years…?
No, it's defiantly three years.
Yes, three years of finding independence from my family, fulfilling my dream as a Ninja Academy teacher, and lastly, three years of being the sole roommate of Uzumaki Naruto.
Has it been so long? I really can't remember anymore.
Why did I say yes to him, when he asked if I needed a place to stay?
Why couldn't I tell him I was staying at Kurenai sensei's house to help take care of her child?
Why was it that kept me here for a whole three years?
I can only wonder about it—I never press myself into digging up the past. My history is complicated and dirty; even my sweetest memories can attract the dirtiest memories hiding deep in my mind, and when I find myself thinking back to those times when I was making my stupid decisions, I find myself here—in front of the living room window with nothing but the light of the kitchen keeping some light on my face as I gaze into the darkness of the village.
"I'm home." He calls into the apartment. I look at the clock, and realize that it's one in the morning, but then again, it's normal for a Jounin to come back late from a mission.
"Welcome back." My voice sounds weak from the moment it leaves my mouth. The sound of it makes me hesitant in some way, and I shiver back into my skin—collecting the heavy jacket around me and digging myself deeper into it.
I see him feeling around for the light switch while also tugging at his Chuunin vest zipper. His face is cast in the shadows, but you could see just enough of him to make out that he was pleased about something; his hair was a tangled mess, and his clothes looked disheveled, but the spring to his step was more than obvious. He had a good mission.
"Woooo, it was a long day, let me tell ya—" he started to say, but the rest of his words started to float away form my ears. All I could concentrate on was the sight of his back. How his shoulders stretched as he pulled the vest away from his back, after tossing the vest aside—he rolls up his sleeves and loudly scratches his stubble face; the mission left him with more than just scars, but proof of absolutely no hygiene. Lastly, he turns around and gives me a lasting smile, "You didn't have to stay up to greet me; I'm sure your tired from all that teaching…"
"I'm fine." I tell him. "Fine—I just… wanted to know you came back safely." I look up to meet his eyes, I realize my hair is a mess and quickly try to look away; looking at his reflection through the darkened window.
He looked embarrassed for some reason, bowing his head and furiously patting some dirt off of his hair. "Yeah? Oh. Well—thanks. Yeah, oh… I'm starved." He had finally noticed the ramen that was ready for him on the table. "For me?"
I nod without looking away from the window, and he sits down while rubbed his hands together as if getting ready to dive in for a major treat. He makes comments on how dark it is in here, and then I hear him snapping his waribashi (disposable chopsticks) apart and I am left with the sound of his chewing and slurping. I sigh.
"Hinata." He voices again; this time a little louder and a touch of suspicion to his voice. "You… feeling ok?"
"Huh?" I turn around and blink at him, the expression of concern on his face as clear as the kitchen's soft light. I offer a shaky smile; he didn't notice anything wrong and smiles back at me. "I feel fine."
He looks at me again, "You're not sick anymore?"
"Huh? Wha—uh…no." I shake my head lightly, I was slightly surprised by his comment.
"Well then why do you look so cold? Come over here—get away from the window. You just got over a cold, didn't you?"
"I'mfine." I stressed it as harshly as possible, but it still sounded so fragile, and I only heard him slurp up more ramen in response than actually getting a little miffed.
"Uh… are you mad at me?"
I turn completely away from the window—turning toward Naruto with a shocked expression on my face. "What? No—why wou..?"
"Oh, good." He interrupted with a sigh of relief—his hand to his chest as a stupid grin broke across his face; I can't tell if he looked nervous or not a minute ago, "I thought you were angry at what I said before I left for my mission a day ago."
"You know, the comment about your breasts?" he blurts out, not realizing his mistake that a male roommate shouldn't bring up unpleasant memories with his female roommate.
My eyes quickly shoot downwards, "Let's put that behind us." The memory was enough to cringe at; the morning started off wonderfully with Naruto joining me for breakfast, we sat at the very table Naruto is currently slurping his ramen. After his comment, I remember disappearing in my room and not coming out until I knew he left for his mission.
"Hey Hinata…" Naruto put down his cup of tea and openly stared at something on my shirt. I look down and saw a few crumbs from my toast—brushing them off. I look up to see him pointing at my shirt still.
"I got them." I said blinking innocently at him.
"No, not that." He waved his hands in the air, and it finally stops to continue pointing at my shirt…when I realized he wasn't looking at my shirt at all. "You're boobs." The shirt did provide a small amount of cleavage, my hands fluttered to cover the small amount of exposed breast.
"Huh?" my eyes widened.
"They look great today." He finished cheerfully. I stared at him with my mouth agape, almost too shocked to realize the revolting compliment. "I mean—they look like they grew a size!"
"Let's put that behind us." I repeated in a whisper.
"Mmph." Was his answer, which I took as a 'yeah'. I see his eyes flicker over to our clock and some noodles fall out of his mouth as he gasps, "Whoa, man—it'll be hard to get up at five in the morning, Hinata—you really should go to bed."
I smile at the fact that I have someone who knows my schedule like their own.
"Don't you have a class to teach tomorrow?" he asks packing his mouth with more noodles. I crawl toward the small table he was sitting at and rested my arms on it carefully before shaking my head.
"Oh?" Naruto's eyes sparkle. "Then we can goof off before going to bed! Let's—"
"I'm not really up for it, actually." I whisper. "I wanted to talk to you…"
Naruto studies my face—his bowl of ramen was almost completely empty already but his chopsticks kept searching for more noodles. "You are angry at me."
"No." I couldn't help but breath out a laugh, "No, Naruto—I'm…" I look at his serious stare—and try to bring him back to his joking self as I hurriedly try to bring more light to the tone of my voice, "I just want to talk to you. I've missed you." I touch his hand and wasn't surprised to find them so cold.
This finally makes Naruto's serious façade drop, and a smile quickly lightens his features as I feel my hands get turned around so that he could weave his fingers into mine. His small gestures always used to frighten me, but now that I had finally managed to get used to it… I found myself slowly getting more physical and…
And, well, I think I crossed too many boundaries with him. He… doesn't know it, probably…
But I've hurt him… and myself.
More than he could possibly imagine.
"You missed me." he repeats; I could tell he took comfort in my words and I felt myself falling yet again a little bit more in love with him, "Ok, so what do you want to know?"
"How have you been? I couldn't have a decent conversation with you for…"
"Three months." Naruto finishes; I was surprised he noticed, "It kinda got awkward after I told you… after I started dating Sakura-chan."
"Your right." My face had practiced how to look calm and understanding for those gaping three months, I knew the amount of time we spent away from each other as much has he did, "How is that going?"
"Not that great." He admits truthfully. "Don't tell Sakura-chan."
"I won't." I whisper, bringing my legs up to tuck them under my chin—my arm completely apart from the rest of my body—touched with Naruto's hands still.
"She just… doesn't understand me like you do, Hinata. She's always getting frustrated at me, and I don't blame her… I'm hard to deal with." His voice starts to fade himself, and it was my cue to squeeze his hands in my own; we share an awkward stare. "It's different when I spend time with her."
"It's barely starting, I'm sure things will warm up."
"I hope so. I love her, so much."
"She loves you too."
"I wish I knew how much she liked me, you know?"
"Have you ever fallen in love?"
Finally it was time for me to break away from his hands; Naruto had finally absorbed enough warmth from my own palms, and I was able to hide them under my legs.
"No," I say looking away. "I had a crush… but I've never been in love."
"Really? You seem like the type of girl who'd hold secret desires… I should know." I could almost hear his grinning in his words… and I realized in horror that his words will come back to haunt me later in my nightmares.
"Don't tease me, Naruto—you'll make me cry." My head bows to stress the point.
"Woops, sorry, sorry—forgot." He touched me lightly on the shoulder before getting up to put away his dishes. While he moved about the apartment—I tried to distract myself from crying by biting the tip of my fingers and trying to feel the vibration of the ground as Naruto scurried back to join me at the table. I could almost feel his breath as he leans over the table to peer at my face while my neck craned away from his gaze.
"Are you crying?" he asks.
"I'm not." I say, turning back to prove to him by staring into his eyes.
"Are you wishing that you slept with your crush for the first time…" he asks cautiously—a look of sympathy and hurt apparent on his face, "instead of me?"
My eyes widened in horror, he was saying all the wrong things today, and I feel trapped in his sharp blue gaze. I feel like it got even a shade darker in this chilly room… as if the kitchen lights crept inches away as his words sunk into me.
"Yeah." I say, the word stuck like gum in the back of my throat—getting caught between a sigh and a sob.
"Do you feel all alone now that I've found someone… do you feel I forgot about you, Hina?" Naruto asks softly—coming from behind me and wrapping his wonderfully warm arms all around me. I feel my throat clench and run dry—my shoulders are getting ready to spasm and shake—and I could feel my eyes dampening despite my greatest efforts to keep every liquid in it's proper place.
"You gotta know… I care for you so much, Hina." He whispers into my ear, my body had automatically melted into his warmth, and his hands slowly rubbed my arms. "You're like… the only family I've got."
It hurts so much… I could almost feel my heart slowing and my will to live slip from my sane grasp.
"My only family—Hinata, you'll always be a part of my heart. I hope you know that."
I'm so proud of myself… the tears are kept in, and I controll all of the other emotions that riles in me as I turn around and look up at Naruto. He looks down at me in such seriousness and sincerely, it took me back to the night where all the pain in my heart had started. He looks like the time he wanted to kiss me.
The night I let him creep into my bed…
"But… I'm—I have to talk to you about…something…" I start—I take in a deep breath and scoot away from his warmth.
"Oh." Naruto breaks away from looking intently at my face to start playing with my fingers again. "Oh yeah, you wanted to speak to me about something important, right?"
The night we promised it wouldn't ruin what we have…
"Yeah." I nod, "It's kinda hard to say…"
"Just say it."
The night a week later gave enough endorphins and courage to Naruto to charm the girl of his dreams.
I shook my head, "It's not that easy."
"Is it about the night three months ago?"
The night that left me crippled and oh so hurt…
"So what's it about?"
The night three months ago…
"Promise not to… get angry?"
"I promise, I promise… Hina—what's wrong?" he asks in concern as he takes my hand and rubs it in his still chilled ones.
The night you left my bed, forgetting that you left your seed in me…
"I was called by Tsunade-sama this morning…"
"Hinata… did she… say something to hurt or scare you? I'll talk to her—I'll—"
"Listen, please… listen to me…" I weakly speak up.
"If she did anything—" he continued, without listening, "Anything at all." He went on for a while… but I couldn't hear his words—I prepare myself for the next words that would definitely invite that awkward and cold silence that I hate so much…
"I'm being transferred."
The night you made me pregnant.
"Huh?" Naruto looks like he doesn't understand the word. I don't repeat it—I don't want to repeat it—I'm already feeling awful as it is, he isn't going to make me repeat it. He shakes me lightly and I see him slowly shake his head, "No… uh… Hinata, what did you say?"
I close my eyes and my head drops, and my tears took this as a cue to start flowing out of my face and I press a hand to my mouth to try to muffle a loud sob.
"Hinata?" Naruto was practically shouting. "What--?" I realize that he knew exactly what I said, but he wasn't trying to accept it.
"The village of the sand… they're short teachers for their academy, and they need help with better ninja programs." My words were quickly and shortly interrupted by a small sob and a shake of my shoulder.
"No!" Naruto protests like a child, "I'll talk to that baba! You can't go—look how unhappy you are…she'll reconsider it—Hinata, come on…"
"DON'T!" I say when I felt his hands coming up to try to comfort me. "It's already done—I agreed to it yesterday after you left. It's for the children."
"W…What about… us?"
I look up at him—my hands finally started to wipe away tears… I noticed that Naruto was quickly shedding his own tears, breaking my heart a little more.
"Us?" I repeat, "We… won't be room mates anymore."
"HOW CAN YOU AGREE TO THAT?" Naruto screams out of nowhere grabbing my shoulders and scaring me out of my wits as I stare at his transformed golden-orange eyes. My breath chokes in my throat and I could only look at him in awe as the streaks across his cheeks grew darker in color, and I felt nails digging into my arms. Before I could defend myself though—his act of fury ended, and he dissolved into violent tears into my arms. "You can't leave me in this village alone!"
"Naruto." I say, my voice still shaking from fear of his previous state, "Naruto-kun… you're not alone…"
"Don't go. Stay with me."
"NO!" Naruto squeezes me—not realizing my breast were tender and that under my large jacket, he was pressing down a three-month-old fetus into my bladder. "Take it back! Hinata—you have to take it back." He pulls me away to confront me face to face again—"Did you agree to this because you're mad at me?"
"I told you—I'm not mad at you!"
"Don't lie—you'venever lied to me!" he is acting like a child.
"Naruto—" my voice is strained from pain—as he held me even tighter; I try to break free to earn a clear breath—but he'd only reattach himself and grip harder. "…your hurting me…"
His grip slowly eases—his head resting on my shoulder as he continues to openly sob his heart out. Not at all ashamed to be sobbing like a child in front of a girl… not at all embarrassed in front of his trusty 'room mate'.
I start gazing… not really paying attention to the present scene anymore. Just relieved that I told him and held in most of my more violent tears. Relieved that this conversation didn't end with me revealing my pregnancy and him trying to keep his 'family' in it's proper place by breaking his life apart to keep me in it. He had a dream to fulfill… and I know I'm not a part of it.
While I was zoning out into the dark space on the wall across the room—I guess Naruto managed to grab hold of the sides of my face—quickly blocking my view of our dark apartment as he leans in and kissed me deeply.
My heart had enough, I felt it shake under the strains of my ribs, but I couldn't stop myself as I kiss him hungrily back.
It was like our first kiss—and I was afraid it would end like our previous kisses… and as I felt the warmth grow in the pit of my stomach, I was broken so much already to stop him as he gently put me on the ground and wrapped his arms under me to scoop up my shoulders and kiss me even deeper with a shuddering groan.
Our noses breathe deeply and hurt after a while of hungry air sucking and tongue wrestling. I broke away from the kiss first—my eyes shut tight and quickly turning my face away so he couldn't pull that kind of a stunt again.
"Don't." I bit out. "Just stop."
"Hinata…" was all he had to say to get our lips to touch again and I felt him reach for the zipper of my jacket and I broke the kiss again.
"No. This isn't right."
"Your wrong." Naruto kisses me quickly and harshly, "It's so right."
My heart had completely stopped then.
"What about Sakura?"
I could almost feel his own heart stop too.
Did he forget?
How could he?
"How could you?" I whisper, my eyes filling with tears again.
Our eyes found each other in the darkness, and we both looked scared at each other's revelation.
I think he found out then, when he looked at me, that I loved him.
I pushed him off of me and dragged myself off the floor. I made a dash toward the door, and I never looked back as it slammed shut behind me.
Once I got a good distance away from our place—I found a good place to lean up against a cold wall… and cry.
To be continued ?
I'm not sure if I want to continue this. I'm pretty happy with the story ending with angst. I'd like some insights before I officially name this fic 'completed' though—give me your thoughts via reviews s'il vous plait.