Authors Note: Okay, this is my first Angel fic so be gentle. How many who were fans of Angel did not like the way the show turned out? Me, I liked and disliked it which is a complicated feeling. I had so many questions. Why did they write my favorite character out, Cordelia? Why did everyone tell Angel to go for Nina after Cordelia been dead for a few months? Yeah, he got over his grief with Buffy, but that's because he had a new life and the separation was a long time and... Kay, I know I'm babbling. Well, I heard about this season six of Angel as a comic book. I was surprised and checked it out on the Internet. I liked it, and yet again disliked it.

I guess I always had a different story in my mind for the fang gang. Me and my father were disappointed in the season six. Please don't be mad for me saying that, we just like the whole hopeful outlook on Las Angelus. So, I'm not going to change the outline of what I saw on the Internet, but let's just say this is my twist. I haven't read the comic fully, just a taste so this is not canon. This is my hopeful, angst filled story... Please review when you are done.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. Wish I did, but I don't. I'm not selling or making any profit on this fic so no suing people. The show belongs to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, those are the facts.

Pairing: This will be a C/A fic. Not right of way, more of a gradual. Right now, he is sorta with Nina so wait and see what I do to that!

Set: This is three months after the whole Armageddon started with at the end of season five. I'm welcome to ideas and stuff so please leave a review!


The Turn in the Tide

Chapter 1: Our Choices

Our choices always have consequences. You could decide you like the red sexy dress out for your date instead of the nice blue, silk, some what conservative dress. You go on your date with the red number, give him a little eye candy to drool over, then on your way home he jumps you like your the stake he's been craving, which show he's a big fat jerk. You take out your mace, spray, then kick him in the groin. Whew! Good thing you wore that outfit, if you didn't, well, it would be much later in the relationship when you discovered how much of a pervert he really was. That's just a sample of good choices. The bad ones are the ones to look out for. Believe me, I know.

You see, I had what you would call a freaky life. You know, growing up on the hell mouth, being rich then losing everything..So I got out of Sunnyhell to go to Las Angelas, the City of Angels! I had such high hopes of becoming the famous actress, adored by everyone. Of course I didn't, in fact I was so way the opposite end that I was willing to meet a quote "Star Maker" at his large estate. It turned out he was a vampire and I was what was on the menu for that night. Well, as you know a hero showed up, one that I knew. Angel. My guardian angel. Really, his name is Angel. It sounds like a wimpy name, but don't let it fool ya, he's anything but that. He's strong, handsome, kind, brave and apparently not a eunuch anymore... Just a figure of speech, the eunuch part. One of many reasons why my heart is breaking.

So anyways, he saved me from Mr.I'm a Psycho path that likes young women. I already knew Angel cause he was the boyfriend of Buffy Summers. They had a whole Tragic romance thing going on, with the whole Angel being a vampire thing. As it turns out, he was cursed with a soul after eating a gypsy's daughter. So, as years passed he became a recluse who fed on rats. He shortened his name down from Angelus to Angel to in a way escape from that bad image that his evil days created.. I'm confusing you, aren't I? Sorry about that. I'll get back to my story. That night I noticed that him and his wonderful half demon side kick had a thing going, so I hopped on board. I wanted to be apart of the fight, plus I had absolutely no money. So, together we created Angel Investigations.

As time flew by, all of us became very close The side kick name was Doyle... Well, his last name was Doyle. His full name I won't mention because he was not entirely keen on it.

Doyle, we had a almost romance. He cared for me and I cared for him. But, we were not meant to be as fate shows us. He made a choice to give up his own life to save many. He is just the first of several people me and Angel would lose. Not too much time later, during a audition which I was already having a meltdown over his death, I had a vision. Doyle past his visions to me during our goodbye kiss. Well, needless to say that I kissed Angel and other men to try to get rid of it. It didn't work.

Well, that same day me and Angel met up with Wesley, the ex-watcher of Buffy and Faith. He turned rouge demon hunter, although he still was a geek. Together, we defeated the big uglies and started a relationship with Wesley, who turned out to need us. Time passed by and Angel hired him, excepting into our little family. Soon we met a street guy named Charles Gunn, but he didn't join our team till later.

You may think that we were always victorious, but no, we weren't. There was a enemy, Wolfram and Hart. They of course disliked how the former Scourge of Europe was on the opposite side of them. They made our lives a nightmare. From day one they didn't care much for us. The game didn't step up a notch till they sent there demon scroll guy to curse me with eternal visions. Then he blew up our building, hurting Wesley who was unfortunately in the building. So Angel asked Gunn to lookout for us at the hospital while he whipped demon guy's a-- and chopping off a evil lawyer's hand off, who was Lindsey.

So yet again Angel saved me again. Well, he did a lot of that during the years.

After the whole hospital thing, Wesley retranslated a scroll Angel took from Wolfram and Hart, prophesying that Angel would some day shan-shoo, become human. He would just have to endure some evil baddies and survive a couple of apocalypses. It gave the big guy purpose in life again. Well, after some months of living and doing business in my apartment, Angel found a old building that he used to live. I'm not going to rehash the ugly history, so let's just skip that and go to the part where we sent that terror demon packing. And so, the Hyperion hotel became our new head quarters.

Then time passes again, new addition of course was Gunn. Lorne, the green mojo guy, in a way became a part of us too. He's a demon that here's you sing, reads your soul, then sets you on your path. But he comes later into the picture. So anyway, we faced some more bad guys, blah, blah, blah. And then we came across something that almost tore our family apart. Darla. Angel's sire that sired him 250 something years ago. Well, at that time it was 240 something. Wolfram and Hart had brought her back, human. They really wanted to turn Angel dark. Of course it didn't work entirely. But after Drusilla (Angel's child. Vampire child. You know, he sired her.) turned Darla vampire with Wolfram and Hart's help. It so totally back fired on them, causing Angel to go postal.

I already know that you know, but just let me vent, okay? He fired us and went out to bring Wolfram and Hart down to it's knees after setting the two vampire's's on fire. (They unfortunately lived.) Well, he went all Woe is me when the dead boss guy showed him a truth that wasn't exactly the truth. So, he slept with Darla and boom! He had an epiphany. He then saved our lives and told us he didn't want us to work for him, he wanted to work for us. Wesley became the boss.

After licking my wounds I excepted him back into my heart. (No, the clothes he bought me were not the main reason I forgave him!) We all were happy and continued the fight. Me, with my visions that were killing me, soon realized that my acting career would never take off. And what surprised me was that I didn't mind at all.

Of course the same day I realized this is when I get sucked into a portal and wind up in Lorne's home dimension, Pylea. They made me a slave, called me a cow since I was human and made me shovel demon horse pooh. I talked to a girl who told me where I was. Her name was Fred, a girl in my vision that I had before the whole portal thing. She was captured while I continued to be a slave. Twenty four hours later, I had a vision while Angel and the gang (including Lorne) opened a new portal. This vision got me into a serious situation.

Their priests stuck me with a bunch of hot pokers, which proved that I had a direct link with the PTB. Don't ask me how, but it did. So they washed me up and declared me a princess. Soon the guys came busting through my throne room and found to their surprise me, a princess! (sigh)

Well, after the whole fighting for freedom and saving Fred and thinking I was in love with the Groosalug, we came home with a new addition. Winifred Birkle. Of course our happy homecoming was smashed too smithereens. Willow was there, bearing the news of Buffy's death. It hurt to hear of it, even though we never were close, but it hurt Angel most of all. He disappeared for three months to a sanctuary, in Tibet... I think. He came back okay. He was just confused how her death didn't kill him. I hope to this day it was because he moved on... and loved me.

Well, there were visions and dealing with Fred and her parents, but it was alright. We were a sufficient team. It was perfect. Then Darla showed up pregnant with Angel's child. Around the time we found a prophesy talking about a evil thing coming or someone who was going to cause a whole bunch of effects that would lead to a Apocalypse. Turns out the old Vampire hunter from the days of yore was it. Well, the demon who brought him back was it... and Jasmine. Okay, getting ahead of myself.

Darla sacrificed herself for the baby that her body couldn't give birth too. And that's how we got the most precious thing in the world, Conner. We nurtured him, loved him, we felt like a complete family with him. He was destined for great things according to a prophesy. But, sadly, bad choices were made.

First off, was my choice of being demonised. I was dying from the visions. So, the PTB sent Skip, a double crossing demon, to guide me through a offer they were making. I either live out my life as am actress who didn't meet up with Angel that night, or die without the ability to move or speak till the next vision hit me. I was going to choose to die than leave Angel, but after hearing his comments to the in-between PTB's, I decided to try the actress life out.

I had no memory of my formal life, all memories erased. But, in my heart I wasn't satisfied. I knew there was more to my story, something deeper. It felt like I wasn't fulfilling my purpose. I began searching around till I found some info I written down when I was out of my body and got into Angel's. (What? I didn't mention that before? Oops!) It had a address written down on the wall of Angel's old room. I looked up the address and found a teenager who was trying to perform a spell. It went airy and brought forth a demon with a lot of teeth and mouths. Suddenly, Wesley and Gunn came and saved us.

Poor Wesley only had one arm and Gunn looked older, like the troubles of life were to much for him. Wesley told me that Angel was not the same vampire I knew from Sunnydell. I begged him to let me see him, he refused. But as always, he gave in and brought me to a dirty building. I will never forget what I saw. Angel, all alone, crazy. He was sitting on a bare mattress, with no shoes. His normally gelled hair was unkempt, looking like he ran his hands through it often. He was mumbling and shaking, his eyes not recognizing me. He was too far gone for saving.

Wesley told me that he had nobody after his only friend Doyle died. Nobody to turn to, anyone to show him the way. But what made matters worse, Doyle passed him the visions which in the end was his demise. Those visions that helped him fight evil and help the helpless was his undoing. When Wesley and Gunn found him, he was a recluse and was in despair. They tried to help, but the visions mixed with all his past sins were becoming mixed up, making him a lunatic. Hearing that made me long to touch him, to take the pain away.

I knelt before him, knowing I had to make it better. So, I kissed him with my heart crying out to him. In that moment, the visions were passed to me. Well, Skip stepped into the scene, acting p-----. He told me how I was going to die and yak, yak, yak. I told him to find the loop hole because I was not going to leave my champion. Well, he came up with this crap about demonising me. I took the offer, thus inviting that evil Hell god, Jasmin into my body.

I woke up and all was well again. For a while. Wesley fell in love with Fred who unknown to me was falling for Gunn. I was already in love with Angel but I didn't know it. Angel was supposedly in love with me but refused to see it. I guess we're both idiots. We went to a Ball that was ruled by an evil wizard who used his power to come up with a time flux and-... Well, let's say it was interesting.

How? Okay, you asked for it. Me and Broody decided to check things out behind the stage and found ourselves being possessed by old lovers. We got all smoochy, left then came back and progressed.. No! We did not do the deed! Please, a few minutes with me would be perfect bliss for him. Angelus would have had a hay day.

Well, we came home after Angel did his violence thing and saved the day. Wesley was broken hearted over the Gunn/Fred budding relationship while Angel decided to try to reveal his feelings. I was blinded by Groo who unexpectedly showed up. I broke Angel's heart without realizing it.

Want to hear the second big bad decision I made? Well, it's this. The very next day Groo and Angel went to buy a potion so me and the hunk could get nasty. I never saw the hurt that I was putting my champion through. Then, after a whole freaky tree thing, Angel told me a lie and gave the Groosalug the credit. WRONG! Groo told the truth and gave Angel his rightful credit. I was turned-on to see that it was Angel who saved the day. So, I began to leave when Angel gave me a wad of money and told me to take a vacation with Groo.

Another bad decision by Angel. But even worse for me for excepting it. How I could be so stupid?! Must be a Chase gene or something. Leaving my family so I could Kum-Shuck with the Groosalug was the turning point.

Next thing they knew, Wesley found a fake prophesy about Angel eating his son. Of course the whole putting Conner's blood in Angel food did make that an almost possibility. The point is that I wasn't there to bring it to light. I know Wesley, he would have discussed it with me once I cornered him.

So Wesley made a deal with Holtz and decided to take Conner away. Holtz told him if he didn't, he would take matters into his own hands. Wesley believed the lie and did just that. Only, he didn't get very far. Holtz's lapdog, Justine, slit Wesley's throat and took Conner. Angel found out about the betrayal of Wesley and went to search for his son. He found him.

There was a big stand off between Angel, Holtz, Wolfram and Hart, and a time traveling demon who's evil name shall remain unspoken. The ugly demon opened up a portal to a hell dimension which would swallow the earth whole if Holtz didn't kill the baby. Holtz didn't want to, so he stupidly jumped through the portal, satisfying the demon. Angel was broken.

Angel then tried to reopen the portal but didn't know how. So, he did a spell after terrorizing the head Wolfram and Hart guy to bring the ugly demon to the Hyperion hotel. It didn't work. Instead, he made the idiot corporal. Not good. But they did find out why he hated Angel and Conner so much. It was because Conner was going to grow up and defeat him. It was all written down in prophecy scrolls. Well, Justine Of all people) saved their buts and trapped the freak in a vase. Trapping him for a time.

Gunn, Fred, and Angel went to visit Wes in the hospital. Angel told him he understood... then tried to kill him. Wes got the hint. Then I came home about two weeks later, finding out how my family was fractured. Now, this is when I really get out of character. I started to be swayed by this voice in my head, telling me that trying to rebuild the broken bridges between Wes and the gang was a bad idea. I didn't know it then, but Jasmine was tapping in to my subconscious and prepping me for possession.

Just when I get my champion to get out of his depression, a slit through the hell dimension is revealed. Thanks to Angel's's dark magic practice from earlier. Some slugs came out and tried to take over since they were running from the Destroyer. The Destroyer turned out to be Conner who now went by the name of Steven. He was fed all these stories of Angelus days, breeding hatred in that sweet baby's heart.

For a time, I thought I reached him. But no, Holtz had to have his revenge. He forced Justine to pierce his neck, making it looked like Angel drained him. Poor Conner didn't have a prayer. So, he came up with a plan to get revenge. The night me and my manpire was to meet up was when the powers took me up to a higher dimension. My third mistake. I should have been selfish and said no, but then again who knows what would have happened.

While that was happening, Angel was being sinked to the bottom of the ocean, by Conner and Justine. From that point on, our lives were changed forever. You know the rest. Wes saved Angel, Angel and the other two looked for me while Conner was kicked out. I helped out sometimes from the higher planes, awaiting for my orders. I didn't know it, but Jasmine was taken over my being, my body. When I noticed that evil was in me now, my spirit and soul was locked away, deep down. Then, she descended.

The decention wiped hers and my memory. I was in control, while Jasmine was in a stupor. Lorne had me sing and saw the evil coming, but Wolfram and Hart stepped in and ruined things again. They sucked out everything he saw, thinking they could use it. Bad move on their part.

So, Lorne and Wes who was being allowed a little at a time to be back in the group, came up with a plan. They would perform a memory spell. As they did this, the memories came flooding back, and so was Jasmine. So, I stomped on the bottle, trying to prevent it. It bought me some time, but now me and the rest were converted back to our teenage years mentally. Wackiness ensued, till Lorne helped out since he was still Lorne. But in doing so, they brought out her... The Power-wanna bee.

You know the rest... What? The reason I'm back is to help the turn in the tide. The Powers sent me back to fight, to stop this back fired plan of Angel's. Not only that, I have to get the visions back. I'm not looking forward to that. It's not that I don't want them, it's the how I'm going to do that. After giving the visions through that amazing kiss, well, I have to do the same thing to take them back. I had a long argument with the PTB about that, but of course they are dead set in tradition.

I don't want to. Yes, I love him. I love him so much that it hurts. Why it hurts? It's because he seems to not really care about me. I know that's selfish to say, but it feels like it. I saw how he went to Buffy and shared a kiss and discussion about cookie doe, right after he put my coma body in the Wolfram and Hart medical center. I saw how the others said go for Nina, and he did. Two months after I died.. TWO MONTH! What, I'm not worth the grieving process?

I admit it, I'm needy. I never used to be. I was the boy slayer, the one who broke hearts. Then Xander happened, which crippled me. Then meeting Angel happened. He taught me to let my defenses down without even knowing it. I did. I depended on him. I gave my whole heart to him without knowing I sent it. He made me weak, he made me feel faminen. A real woman and lady.

Because of him, I can't move on. Not only did I give my heart away, I gave it away to the one. You see, Angel and Buffy were not meant for each other. I was shown that me and Angel were soul-mates. Made to fit each other to a tee with our differences. And thinking about the one who I was meant to be with is with her, the werewolf. It makes me sick. I could make myself known, but I won't. I'll stay out of his life. Well, after I clean up this mess. It's my time to lurk in the shadows, to be the stalker.

Please, promise me you won't tell Angel that I''m back. There's just to much pain to swim through. We would never make it through. I don't want to hate him or see that he hates me. Just help me out when I call on you. After all, the powers have plans for you to... Yes, they do. Not only is Angel my champion that I have to look after, you are as well...Spike.


Authors Note: Yeah, I know. Confusing, but I just wanted Cordelia to vent the injustices of the choices her and the others made. This is just the start for the story, the next chapter will be a normal third person view chapter. I hoped you guys liked it, it's not my best but hey, I finally got some issues out. I'll be writing more, but it might take a little while since I have other stories I am currently working on. Review and ... REVIEW! He he! Remember, this was done really late!

ANd yes, there is some grammer errors or such, though I used the spell check. So please don't bite the head off if you find something koockie.