Epilogue

One year later

MIGHTY BOOSH TO RETURN TO TELEVISIONS

The Mighty Boosh is due to return to BBC Three this coming autumn, according to its creators.

Stars of the series Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt, who haven't worked for nearly a year, announced yesterday that they were preparing to start filming a new series that would air later this year.

"We've taken some time to sort out some issues, and we're really excited about the new material," they said in a press statement...

--

It was night time, and quite hot for that time of year.

So hot, in fact, that it was difficult to be inside.

Howard and Vince were sitting together on the roof of the apartment. They liked the roof. It gave them a good view over London. It was a place to contemplate, and a place to talk.

Perhaps the roof should have been an awkward place for them to be, given what had once happened there, but it wasn't. Howard and Vince had never been the kind of people to let small things get in the way of their friendship. Also, strangely, it actually made things easier, knowing that had been written for them to do. It meant they didn't need to blame each other.

That night, they were both quiet. Vince was eating a packet of toffee popcorn, and the rustling of the wrapper as he stuck his hand in and out of the bag was the only sound. That and the odd gentle murmur of an engine from a car or bus in London below. Windows glowed contentedly. The Moon was full and bright. The stars were out. A magic carpet soared across the horizon in the distance. It might have been Saboo (who had been found unharmed, with Tony Harrison, at the Black Lake, near to a rather confused but otherwise fine merman) but they couldn't be sure.

Howard and Vince were both thinking about what had happened earlier.

There had been a tap at the door – a familiar knock. Alexandra's knock.

After she'd been with them nearly half a year, they'd reorganised to accommodate their new living arrangements. They'd converted the loft and Alexandra and Naboo, and Bollo, had moved up there, with Howard and Vince staying below. Vince called the original flat, the flat they now shared, the "bachelor pad". Bollo said really he should live in it too, as he was also a bachelor, and living with Naboo and Alexandra could be slightly sickening, but as he was Naboo's familiar, he was needed upstairs. Secretly, he quite liked that Naboo couldn't work without him.

Alexandra and Naboo had been quite busy recently, working on something they wouldn't tell Howard and Vince about. Bollo had privately confided to Vince that it involved other worlds. He said that, a couple of months ago, Naboo and Alexandra had made contact with someone from another world. A completely new world. Howard and Vince weren't supposed to know. Bollo was supposed to be sworn to secrecy on pain of having Naboo's back turned on him. Howard and Vince, consequently, hadn't mentioned that they knew to either Naboo or Alexandra.

It was a Sunday, which was when Naboo and Alexandra usually did a lot of work (as the shop wasn't open that day – Alexandra quite liked helping out in the shop on other days, so she wasn't always free). So they'd been quite surprised when, earlier that day, she had appeared at the door.

Howard had opened the door for her, to find her grinning all over her face, looking slightly flustered, but very, very happy.

"Alexandra, hey."

Alexandra beamed. "Howard, I've got something to tell you!"

"What?"

Alexandra's smile broadened even more, and she put her hand on her stomach.

Howard guessed.

"Are you –?"

Alexandra nodded, her smile threatening to break into laughter.

Vince appeared.

"A'right, Alexandra?"

"Vince!" Alexandra said. "I've got news!"

"What news?"

Alexandra looked at Howard, who was grinning.

"I'm having a baby."

"Seriously?" Vince had shrieked.

"Yeah!"

"Oh my God!"...

"Howard?" Vince said, suddenly, through a mouthful of popcorn.

Howard looked up. "Yes, little man?"

Vince was looking as though he was thinking very hard. Then, he said, slowly, "I thought Naboo was asexual."

Howard looked at him.

Then he suddenly burst out laughing. "So did I!"

Vince started giggling too. "You reckon we should ask how that worked?"

"No! We couldn't ask that!"

"But they're our friends!"

"You don't ask your friends about their sex lives, Vince!"

"I do."

"You never ask me."

"That's cos you don't 'ave a sex life," Vince said.

Howard rolled his eyes and Vince giggled again. Then he let out his breath. "One of these days, Howard, I'll find someone for ya. I will."

"I can find someone on my own, thank you, sir!"

Vince giggled again.

"Oh, stop it," Howard huffed.

Vince carried on giggling for a little while. Then his laughter subsided. He put some more popcorn in his mouthful, thoughtfully. "Howard?"

"Mm?"

"D'you reckon I should just be Vince, or Uncle Vince?"

"What?"

"For the baby."

"But, Vince, you won't be the baby's uncle."

Vince blinked. "Huh?"

"Vince, for you to be the baby's uncle, you'd either have to be Alexandra's brother or Naboo's brother, and as you're not either, you won't be the baby's uncle."

"Oh."

There was a pause.

"I could kind of be Naboo's brother."

"How's that, then?"

"Noel and Mike," Vince said.

Howard turned to look at him.

Vince was looking straight ahead now. He was taking another mouthful of popcorn. It was difficult to read his face in profile. His nose stood out distinctively against the sky and the disappearing lines of chimneys and television aerials.

"Vince?"

Vince looked at Howard then. Straight at him. His blue eyes were very big.

"Vince, do you –?" Howard paused. He knew this was delicate. They didn't often talk about it. "Do you... I mean, are you okay?"

Vince looked at him questioningly.

"About... you know... do you miss him?"

Vince smiled at that, slightly sadly.

"Always."

There was a little pause.

"But s'okay. He's kinda here, in' he?"

"I guess..."

"I am okay, Howard," Vince said, suddenly looking a bit worried that Howard might think he was depressed. "Honest."

"Really, little man?"

"Yeah," Vince said. He shifted over and leant his head against Howard's shoulder. "Yeah, I really am."

Howard decided that, as long as Vince was okay, nothing else mattered much. He let the smaller man lean on him, without complaining, suddenly finding he didn't care about being touched. After a few moments, on a whim, he reached over and grabbed some of Vince's popcorn. Vince gave him a gentle dig in the ribs, and nestled his head closer to Howard's neck.

And they looked out peacefully over the city, and up at the sweet, deep blue sky with its stars hanging as though they'd been glued there, and the Moon, his face like whipped cream, who was singing softly to himself: "Imagine me and you, uh, I do… I fink about ya day and night, uh, only right… we're happy together… I can't see me, uh, love nobody but you, all my life…

"I'm the MOOOOOOOOON!"

The End


Credits

Mighty Boosh characters used/mentioned:
Vince Noir, Howard Moon, Naboo, Bollo, the Moon, Dixon Bainbridge, Bob Fossil, the Board of Shamen, Rudi Van DiSarnio, Spider Dijon, Old Gregg – all belong to Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding.

"Real life" characters used/mentioned:
Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Michael Fielding, Russell Brand, Amy Winehouse, Kate Moss, Mark King – all belong to themselves.

Original characters:
Alexandra, and all extras.

Music:
Umbrella – Rihanna
Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch
Cars – Gary Numan (sung by Vince, Noel and Julian)
Don't You Want Me Baby? – Human League
Don't You Know I Want You? – Human League
Foundations – Kate Nash
Spit It Out – IAMX
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
Fergalicious – Fergie
Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler (from "Beaches")
True Colours – Phil Collins
Happy Together – The Turtles (sung by the Moon)

violence4 would like to thank:
Beechwood0708
stars of andromeda
Ceni Vonir
chugirl2526
SparkieSteph
ButtonsMagoo
SusanWerewolf
prepare4trouble
-Sassy-Saz-
JellybeanPunk
lori-loves-the-boosh
BeckyRocks-x
Alestrel
Dior Ryder
x Thursday Next x
and, of course, LixiPixi – Rapists in Disguise forever!!

Everyone else who read this
Everyone who reads it in the future (if anyone!)