Disclaimer NCIS is Bellasario's and CBS. Though if I did own them TIVA would be cannon:)

This is a completed story. Ziva is in first person. Please read and review, how do you like this, was it totally our of character?


I awoke in a dark room cold room. There were no windows and the wall felt cold and damp. I had gone for my morning run and when I returned I had noticed nothing unusual until I saw Michel and the room went black.

I assume now I am either at The Embassy or a safe house. Though for me, it would not be a safe house, it would be my house of death. I am not tied up my hands are free, my feet are free, I am dressed still in my running clothes. They must have used Ether to knock me out. I can taste it in the back of my throat and I have one hell of a hang over from the over use of it. Personally I prefer to use an IM injection of a good old fashioned sedative like versed, I love the side effect, the amnesia the person seldom recalls what happened to them.

I recall in the Mossad training how they helped us deal with our fears. Mine was dark small places. I try hard to visualize that I am in bed with the one person who I love. He would not let anything happen to me. I am safe as long as he is here with me in my heart. Please just do not let my captors figure out who this is or they will use it against me.

Slowly I drift off to sleep, I can feel and smell him as I close my eyes.

I suddenly awake to hear footsteps. It sounds like they are coming from a hall. The room is so dark I can hardly make out the wall in front of me. Suddenly I hear a voice. They are speaking Hebrew. I am guessing my request to resign from Mossad had been rejected. I was so stupid, no one resigns from Mossad.

I smell something strange. It is a gas, I try to fight it. However I slip into unconsciousness again. In my dream he is holding me tight again; he promises me he will let no one hurt me. He tells me to hang in there, he is coming for me.

Tony arrived at work, he was running late again this week. He knew Ziva would never let him live it down. However he had a strange feeling something was not right this morning. Tony called her cell phone and no one answered, it went to voicemail in three rings. Ziva always answered his calls in one ring, like she knew he was calling. He got out of the elevator and saw her empty desk and knew something was not right.

Tony saw McGee sitting at his desk. He was busily typing into his computer and did not even notice that Tony was standing above him.

"So McGeek, where is Ziva and the boss?"

McGee looks at Tony and shakes his head. "Tony, the Mossad was sent this today. Gibbs is in MTAC talking with Deputy Director David right now." McGee hands the picture with the note.

Tony looked at the picture it was Ziva lying unconscious on a grey cement floor. She did not appear hurt, however he knew looks could be deceiving.

Tony immediately took off running the steps by threes and charged into MTAC. He arrived just in time to hear the Deputy Director say that the Mossad would not be able to help. Ziva's resignation had been accepted and that they would not exchange her or any other Mossad agent. That if and when Ziva was found to let him know if they needed to send someone to return with her back to Tel Aviv. Then the screen went blank.

Jenny was furious. She knew what the Director meant when he said that, she knew he meant when they found her she would be dead. However she prayed that Ziva might still be fighting to stay alive. She just had to find out who had her.

"What the hell is happening?" Tony asked.

Gibbs took a large drink of his coffee and turned to Tony. Gibbs looked like he aged ten years, the last time he looked like this was when Kate died.

"Tony, about 45 minutes ago we received a call from the Mossad, they sent us that picture of Ziva. They also received this letter demanding Israel to release this Hamas terrorist in exchange for her. You just heard what her own father said. Israel will not release the terrorist they have. A team has been to Ziva's apartment and there were signs of a struggle just inside her doorway. Ziva's coat rack was knocked over, it looks as though it was a surprise. However, Ziva was no where to be found and there are no fingerprints anywhere, it appears to be a professional abduction"

Gibbs continued to study Tony as he told him everything. He knew that Ziva was in love with Tony however Tony had not permitted himself to feel the same for her. However he could see that maybe he was wrong, he could see the pain in his face as he told him that she was missing. It was not the pain of just a missing partner. There was more. He had seen Tony's reaction to Kate's death, this was different.

Tony stared at Gibbs for another minute, Ziva was so much more than just his partner, she was his best friend, his partner in crime, his… his… soul mate. He recalled the day she asked him about soul mates; he avoided her questions by talking about a group from the 70's on some TV show. He knew what she really meant he just was not ready to talk about relationships at that point. Now he wondered if he would ever get that chance.

Gibbs left and Jenny watched as Tony stood there, the picture of Ziva lying on the floor was on the MTAC screen as an analyst looked for anything they could find in the picture to locate Ziva.

"Ziva I will find you, I promise" Tony said in a low whisper as he looked at the screen.

"You know she is a fighter, she will not give up without a hell of a fight. Once she sets her sights on something she has a will not to give up until she has completed her task." Jenny wanted to comfort him. She and Ziva were very good friends, she was not about to give up on Ziva, they would find her.

"Director, umm Jenny, could I ask you something personal?"


"Has Ziva ever said anything about me to you?"

Jenny smiled, Tony had been a discussion they had several times. When Ziva researched Tony, she had asked if she knew him, at the time in Cairo, she had given her information on Gibbs and said he had to be a great agent if Gibbs was working with him. Jenny knew from day one that Ziva had fallen in love with Tony before she even met him. Ziva had sworn her to secrecy about how she felt about Tony, and the even now she could not break that bond.

"Tony, I think you know the answer, you just need to figure out how you feel about her that is what matters. However right now we need to find Ziva, I know for a fact her breaking point is approximately 60 hours of interrogation. She is a strong woman however I want our Ziva back before she can be broken."

Tony had not wanted to think about the possibility that she was being hurt and or interrogated. He had heard Ziva talk about some of the techniques she had used while in the Mossad. He remembered when the Probie told him about the time she was left with a female suspect for about 30 minutes, when Gibbs and McGee returned the woman gave them everything they needed to know and all Ziva did was tug on her hair and whisper, he said the suspect was a whimpering mess.

"Thanks Director." Then Tony left the room.

I started to awake again. This time I was in a room. The bed was soft and comfortable. I could feel the soft sheets. I could smell the coffee that was sitting on the table. I opened my eyes. The light hurt them, how long had I been asleep this time? I could see my captors were trying to gain my trust. However I was not sure who they were. Did I really see Michel or was it someone like him?

I sat up in the bed I was still in my jogging suit, however at the foot of the bed was a pair of my cargo pants and my favorite green sweater, that Tony has said he thought I looked good in. I smiled as I thought about him. I could not let my captors know what I used as my link to the real world, if I did then they could use that against me. I had to keep him behind the façade I had built the one I used at work all the time. Then again I may love him however I do not think he could ever love me.

Minutes later the door opened. In walked the man who looked a lot like Michel however when he spoke I knew it was not him. He told me to shower and change clothes. Then we would talk. At this time I decided I would play the game, I needed to know what they wanted, and why they had me, and who they were.

Come on Ziva. Think. I know if this was a Mossad operation they know my weaknesses, they would know I die before I gave any information. I had been gone for nearly three years now. I was no longer privy to any information in the assassination and covert ops world. I refused to go back when my father had demanded I return to Mossad, instead I sent my letter of resignation. I had known very few Mossad that had resigned. I had not received word yet if the resignation would be accepted. I was going to tell Jenny today to see how I could change from liaison to full time employee of NCIS, now I wondered if I would get that chance.

I finished my shower and put on the clean clothes. Then I sat at the table, there were two cups of coffee at the table along with my favorite pastries. They had done their homework. They were trying to gain my confidence, I had to laugh I had used this technique many times in the Mossad, when it fails to get you the information you needed then you started to make small threats and use techniques that would cause pain while leaving no marks. That did not bother me, my father had raised us with these techniques and we had grown used to it, so when we went through the training at the Mossad it had been easy. Tali, was the only one who cried when they were treated with this cruelty.

I sat down and waited, I would refuse to eat or drink. It was also easy to poison and drug food to where is could not be tasted. I knew my captors would soon come in and encourage me to eat it. I was prepared for what would come next.

Right on cue the door opened and in walked the Michel look a like.

"You need to eat, Ms David. Your friends and Father will not like it if you starve to death. I assure you, the food and drink is safe, we have other ways to cause pain or death if that becomes necessary."

I look him in the eye, trying to read what he is saying. I know the food may not be safe, however I also can tell he is serious about pain and death. I too have been in his position with the power over someone. I will not eat so I can have that power.

"Ok, Ms. David it is your choice. By the way, your father accepted the resignation. However, we did not."

My captor quickly got up and walked away. I still do not have any information on who they are. I figure it is late afternoon I can see the sun setting, I will assume I have been missing for 12 hours now.

Back at NCIS

Abby came running into the bullpen.

"Say it isn't true PLEASE!!!" as she grabbed Gibbs into a large hug.

"What, Abby?" Gibbs glared at McGee, Ziva's abduction was not to be announced publically.

"I just got this across my fax. Gibbs where is she? Why would anyone want to hurt her?" Abby said with distress in her voice.

Gibbs grabbed the picture it was the same one they received, plus one of her dressed in Cargo pants and a green sweater sitting at a table. Under the picture it read, sleeping beauty refuses to drink refuses to eat, however she will not refuse to die. You have three days to find her if not her father will receive an overnight package he knows all to well.

Gibbs yells "McGee go with Abby. Find where this fax came from. Tony, scan this picture and look for anything to tell us where she is!!"

Tony could feel the bile form in his throat as he looked at the picture. She looked relaxed in the picture, it reminded him of her cool attitude when they were captured when they were undercover. The sweater she had on was the one he told her she looked good in, he had not seen her wear it after he started to see Jeanne.

Tony recalls when Gibbs had left to go to Mexico and before his undercover assignment with Jeanne they had been having dinner at her place once a week. He enjoyed the dinner and her company. She would get him to talk about his family and how he grew up and why he joined NCIS. However when he tried to get information about her past she would not return the favor instead she would change the subject. At times he wondered what had happen to her as a child at what age did she become Mossad?

Tony went to his email and noticed a strange address. He quickly pulled up the email and there was a picture of Ziva with another caption. "Mossad trained her to kill, NCIS trained her to care, we will train her to die"

"NO!! McGee get back up here!!" Tony yelled into the phone as he called him on his cell phone.

Gibbs, Abby and McGee ran to see what Tony was looking at and McGee quickly got on the computer to trace the email. Abby hugged Tony as she read and saw the picture of Ziva. Suddenly Abby thought she recognized something.

"Look. Ziva is looking out a window and you can see what looks like a water tower. McGee if you can print that off maybe I can take it down to the lab and enhance it and see if I can figure out where they are." Abby was so excited finally something that might help them.

Abby ran with the picture. McGee and Gibbs went to there computers and checked their email, neither had been sent pictures of Ziva. One part of them was relieved the other was not. They wanted to have more hints. Gibbs was worried of what could happen to Ziva.

I was looking out the window for what seemed like forever. I could see there was no way to escape from climbing out the window. I noticed that they did not seem to mind that I was looking out the window. They knew it was not a threat. I wanted to escape, however at this point I could not figure out a way to do so without possibly dying. I had only my brute strength to use, no weapons other than my hands. I knew there were others in the house and they were armed. When the Michel look-alike came in the room I could see the men outside the door that were armed. Before I could reach them they could kill me.

I was getting hungry however I just did not want to trust the food. I figure it was coming up to twenty-fours hours since I had eaten. After thirty-six hours the feeling of hunger would subside however the feeling of thirst would increase and last until she became unconscious from dehydration.

I could not figure where I was. I could see a water tower but it had no name. I still did not know why they were holding me what did they want, who were they?

I went and laid down on the bed. I started to fall asleep again, and suddenly a man who I recognized as a Hamas operative that worked with Ari, walked into the room. Now I knew what was going on, Ari's friends wanted revenge. I put on my best mask and stood tall and straight. I recalled my Mossad training about being captured and recalled what Ari had told me about his operatives. I silently prayed that Ari had told me the truth this one time.

"So you are Ari's little sister? You know he told us how much he enjoyed watching Tali die and seeing your father grieve over her loss. His one regret was he did not get to see you cry. He said you had already become a Mossad Officer though you were not in the Mossad yet. He made me promise to make sure to make his evil father pay if anything ever happen to him. Well, it has taken me some time however now he will lose his other daughter and pay with his life also."

I refuse to look at him in the eye; I stare but make no eye contact, so he gets in my face however I block him out with my mind. I hear what he is saying however I refuse to acknowledge him.

Suddenly the blow comes to the side of my face. "YOU BITCH!!! You will answer me when I speak."

I still refuse to speak. I will not give in. The pain of being physically slapped goes away quickly. Suddenly I feel pain in my wrist. He is using the hold I love to use on Tony. I start to laugh as he does it. I know this will cost me dearly however it shows him it does not bother me. Ari had taught me this hold and taught me to laugh as a technique to get someone to stop. He was right, it did make people stop however the next blow was not something I could laugh at.

I saw the fist coming. I tried to block him, however suddenly I was restrained from behind. I felt the contact of the fist to my temple. I felt the warm blood trickle down my face as the next blow hit my mouth. The next blow was to my stomach and knocked the wind out of me. I went into my secret place and he was there, he held me and comforted me he would not let them hurt me any more. After that, the world was dark again.

Gibbs and the team were getting nowhere. The water tower did not give any information that was helpful and they could not make out any other defining items from the window. Though there appeared to not be any houses looking out the window.

Jenny came running down the stairs suddenly.

"Has anyone seen the courier that dropped this off?" She demanded.

She was holding a box on the outside was taped Ziva's Star of David necklace with blood on it.

Gibbs grabbed the phone and ordered for the base to go on lock-down, Jenny stated it was already done.

Gibbs and Jenny both then ran to Abby's lab to get the contents analyzed as it appeared to be a CD case.

Abby placed the CD into her trusty computer. It was not a CD it was a DVD.

The team all cringed as they watched the beating that took place. Tony could personally feel each blow that landed against Ziva. He counted ten blows in total. Most men would have been out for the count however he could see she was moving some. If she had not been restrained then she would have hurt them as much he was sure.

Abby leaned into Gibbs silently crying and Gibbs showed no emotion as did Tony and Jenny. McGee on the other hand winced with every blow. Ducky silently watched and reassured everyone that though she was possibly unconscious he could see her breathing and moving after her captors left her on the bed in the room.

Abby confirmed the blood was Ziva's on the Necklace and placed it in an evidence bag. Tony reached over and placed the bag into his pocket. When he found her she would want her necklace, he never had seen her without it.

Abby saw Tony pocket the necklace however she knew this was one time she would turn her back on the chain of evidence. Tony needed to have something that was hers.

"Tony she will be, ok!" Abby said hugging him.

"Sure Abby, you know Ziva, she has crazy ninja skills. Nothing can hurt her." Tony then pulled away and walked off.

Gibbs followed Tony and when both men were in the elevator he pushed the emergency stop.

"Tony, I want the truth. Do you have feelings for Ziva? Do you love her?"

Tony pulled out the Star of David and looked at it. He could see Ziva wearing it and talking to him and joking around.

"Gibbs, you know I try hard to follow your rules… and I really… " Tony looked again at the necklace and took a deep breath.

"I love her with all my heart. I just have tried to tell myself I did not. I have pushed her away when she tries to get too close. I thought I loved Jeanne however I realize now that it was Ziva that I loved, I just used Jeanne to avoid her. I cannot imagine coming to work and not seeing her, I cannot imagine not having lunch with her everyday. I cannot imagine life without her. I know this may get me fired but I don't care. I love her and so help me. I will kill every one of those men who have hurt her."

Gibbs stared at him then smiled.

"Tony, I have watched you two since she arrived. I knew she cared and loved you when she took the liaison assignment. I just wish you would have told rule 12 where to go before now."

Gibbs then released the elevator and the two men stepped off, not to mention rule 12 again.

I awoke with my body aching all over. They must have beaten me more when I blacked out. It hurts to take a deep breath. My right ribs must be broken or cracked. It will not be the first time that has happen. The left side barely aches, that is good. My stomach is no longer feeling like it is hungry. I must have been out for probably 6 hours or so. I would love some water, ohhh how I hated that part of training when we went without water for three days so we could understand how thirst could be used as a weapon. My lips are swollen and I can taste the dried blood, I can barely open my left eye and but my right one is fine. I can see that there is no light from the window, it must be night. This is one time I am glad it is dark. The light will hurt my eyes in the morning due to the bruising.

I pray that Ducky will not let Tony see me when I am brought into autopsy, I would hate for him to see me like this. He would not understand that that this was only the start of the interrogation. I promised myself I would not let this happen however I have no way to end my life they have left a person in the room to make sure I cannot hurt myself. I wish I had the strength to hurt him so I could end this now. I reach up and feel for it, however my necklace, Tali's necklace, it is gone. Who have they sent it to?

I know that it will not be much longer before my father will get a package, the package he will never open as he knows what will be in it.

I feel the arms grab me and pull me up. They gently place me in a chair and I hear the words I long to hear, "Shalom Carina" it was the password her father had set up for her. Only he called her Carina which was Italian for little one. Ari had never even known this nick name. Her father had used it only in Ziva's presence. I respond, "Ziva, my name is Ziva" He whispers back close to me ear we are being recorded and as soon as he could he would arrange my escape. I just have to hang in longer. I suddenly recognize his voice. It is Davin, we had trained together in the military, he went into the Mossad a year after I had joined.

Suddenly he yells at me to sit up. I sit up a little more however it hurts so much. He then looks up at the wall and at me. I then understand that is where the camera is at. I do not know who is all seeing the feed however I refuse to let them see me as weak. Davin yells in Arabic, my head hurts so bad I am glad he is yelling in Arabic at least my brain does not have to translate. I learned to speak Hebrew and Arabic together as a child, it is almost comforting to hear.

Davin asks me if I killed Ari, I refuse to answer. I know the only answer he will accept is yes. If I say no, I will be hurt. If I say nothing, I will be hurt. If I say yes, I will be killed. Suddenly in comes the operative who worked with Ari. He tells Davin to step aside if anyone gets to hit her it will be him.

"Ziva, do you remember my name?"

He knows I do not know it, I can see it in his eyes.

"It is Ravi, do you know who my half brother was?"

I gasp as I suddenly see the resemblance.

"Yes, I see you are not as hard to break as Ari had thought. He once told me you were as strong as him, he was convinced that within another year he would have you joining us. I told him he was a fool. Our mother would have been proud knowing he had turned against Israel though."

I suddenly feel another pain in my leg he has put a cigarette out on my leg it burns so bad, I cannot say a word though or he will do it again, I tell myself.

"Davin? Why don't you show Ms. David what is feels like to be shot in the shoulder. You know Ari had pain in that shoulder up until you shot and killed him. He refused to let it bother him though will you be so strong?"

I brace myself. Davin must do it, he has no choice. Suddenly I hear the best words I have ever heard.

"NCIS, drop your weapons."

It is my team, they are here. Davin points the gun at Ravi and fires three rounds into his heart, all kill-shots. Suddenly the door opens and I can tell they are more of Ravi's men and the shooting starts. I feel a bullet enter, I pray it comes quickly, just do not let….

Suddenly I hear his voice he tells me I have to hang in there, he will not lose me, he can not lose his soul mate. I feel his warm touch. I must have been shot in the leg as I can feel him touching it. I go into my world again where he never leaves me. I am safe, he has me now.

"Do not let her go, stay with her. She needs you now more than ever." Gibbs tells Tony.

They knew Ziva would be in bad shape and had an ambulance on standby when they raided the old farm house. Davin had managed to get through to Director David and inform him Ziva was alive but being tortured mainly because she was his daughter. He gave the director the location he then called and notified NCIS. The next call was to his assassin team to take out any members that lived. He had told Davin to kill as many as he could. The people who dared hurt his daughter would all die, this would get around and she would be safe then and considered untouchable.

Tony held to Ziva's hand until they informed him she had to go to surgery to fix her leg. The bullet had gone through her leg, however it did a lot of damage to the muscle. Tony watched as the nurse cleaned up her face. They had done an x-ray in the ER and no bones appeared broken in her face. He was grateful for that. After the surgery they were going to take her to get a cat-scan to see if she had any other injuries. They informed him it would be about 4 hours before she got to her room.

I heard a whisper, he said he loved me, and forget about rule 12 because he was forgetting about it. He said he loved me, and that he knew what a soul mate was because I was his. He told me I better wake up soon or else he was going to never let forget he said I love you first. Then he gave me a kiss, I wish I could return the kiss however the medications they have given me has made everything so fuzzy. Maybe this is still just part of my dream world.

Tony walks out to the waiting room and is met by the Director and Abby. Abby immediately wraps him into a hug.

Tony looks at the two women and tries his best not to let his emotions show of how scared he is that he nearly lost her today.

"They are going to surgery to repair the bullet wound to her thigh then she is going to get a cat scan to see what other injuries she might have. She has no broken bones in her face though. I am not sure if she heard me, she never woke up, they've gave her lots of pain medication because of the injuries…." Suddenly he sits down and cups his hands onto his face.

"My God…. I nearly lost her, and I never told her…. I was so afraid to say anything…. She had tried so many times to tell me she was there and wanted me…..I just was afraid to admit that she is the one….Abby I cannot lose her now." Abby pulled Tony into a hug and held him. She was glad he finally realized that Ziva and he were made for each other; she just hoped Ziva felt the same way after she was better.

"Tony, remember what you asked me about the other day?" Jenny asked.

He nodded.

"I will tell you this I have actually seen Ziva in worse shape than this in Cairo, that is the reason I know she can endure 60 hours is because I was there when she was broken. She is a very strong woman. Her spirit is amazing. Just do not treat her any differently or she will kill you for sure, and trust me even when she has a broken arm and a broken nose she can still kill someone. The Mossad train their people to be passive aggressive while being held. It is hard to watch however it does work for increasing how long they last."

Jenny recalled what happen in Cairo, shivering as she recalled how much worse Ziva actually looked than now.

Three hours later Gibbs, Ducky and McGee joined Tony, Abby and Jenny. A nurse had updated them that Ziva would be in ICU in 30 minutes and would be allowed two visitors twenty minutes, once an hour. She would be in ICU for 24 hours of observation due to her blood loss, concussion and cracked ribs then would be moved to another floor after that. The team was all relieved that she was going to be physically fine.

Tony was the first person to go in to see her. Everyone insisted he go by himself.

I had been awake off and on for the past two hours. The medications were wearing off and the pain was increasing. However this pain I could deal with. It was nothing compared to how it felt while being inflicted. I was praying that I was not dreaming and he would come to me anytime. After I saw him I would take the pain medications they continually offered.

I closed my eyes for just a minute, then I could smell him. It was unmistakably him, I would never let him know how much I truly loved his smell. I peeked my one eye open and see him standing by my bed.

"You need some deodorant," I say in my best attempt of a joking voice.

He sits on the bed beside me and laughs. He smells his armpits.

"Hmmm… does not smell bad to me. Though you should talk, did you get the number of the bus that you ran into?"

I start to laugh however that really hurt and I wince in pain.

"I'm sorry, are you ok? Do you need some pain medications?" I can hear the pity in his voice and regret.

I see the worried look in his eyes, he was trying so hard to hide it, and then I see the look I have been looking for.

"Did you really mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"I thought… never mind… I was just… It is probably just the concussion and dehydration talking." I tell him letting him off the hook.

I close my eyes and feel him get off the bed and hear the door shut. I roll over to my side as much as I can and let the tears fall. How could I fall for a man who does not love me.

Suddenly I feel a hand touch my hair, and again I recognize his smell.

"Ziva, I love you, you are my soul mate. I really did mean it. I was scared to say anything. I was afraid you would think I was just saying it because of what has happened. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, and everyday it has grown stronger. I tried to deny it for a long time. I even told myself you would not be interested because I am not Jewish. I just hope I am not making a fool of myself here. I hope you love me as much."

The tears are now flowing freely. I never cry, it is a major sign of weakness, not even when I was hit did I cry, yet I cry over the thought of Tony, and cry more when he says he loves me.

"Shhh… I promise if you want me you have me, body odor and all."

"I love you too, Tony." I finally get to say the words I have wanted to say for the past three years well actually five years. I fell in love with the dossier I did for Ari and fell for the man the minute I met him having phone sex.

"Now the nurse is here with your pain medication, take it and get some sleep, after all she has to wake you every hour to make sure you remember who you are." Tony laughs as he says this.

I smile at him .

"I'm Ziva DiNozzo. Yes?"

"Yes, that is right, sweet-cheeks." He gave me a kiss gently on the lips and then told the nurse that I was totally right.

I felt the rush of the morphine go into the IV and welcomed the haze it brought. Once again I went into my other world. This time though Tony was there in full life and we were starting to build our own American Dream.