Big thanks and Wrath plushies to Glowworm, tiggeranddash, Phantom SunsSong, Skitty Kat Girl, Love's Labour Won, Sally Elric, Simply Sporks, Marie blaze, Lilythemarshmellowqueen, Abruptly Wandering, Red Tatsu, Rachel, mec, carrotorange, Synneofthesun, and JackSpicer for reviewing! Since it was so requested, heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's...

Episode Three!

(Can you guess the ultra-super-obvious cliché today, kids?)


(to the tune of the 1st PKMN theme song)
(80s guitar entrance)

I wanna be the very best
And break child labor laws
I wanna make a year-long trek
For no apparent cause

I will travel across the land
No safety guarantee
Find Pokémists, and with my hand
Force them to work for me

Pokémists!
Let's enslave 'em
Catch two or three
I'll go down in history

Pokémists!
Oh, the cussbox is on
Be kid-friendly or you're gone

Pokémists!
It's hard labor
You know it's true
No blood, death
Or utter doom

Traveling minors
And mascots too!
PO-Ké-MI-ISTS!
I don't get no pay
Do it anyway!

Pokémists!


Narrator: Our group of heroes are on their way to the next location to acquire the elusive Philosopher's Badge. But before they get there, it seems a little detour is at hand!

"What's a Philosopher's Badge?" Paninya asked Winry.

"You got me," Winry said.

Ed, glaring daggers of doom at the road ahead of them, stormed on with such speed that the others had to practically run to keep up with him. He was trying, to no avail, to escape the narrator.

Narrator: Uh, oh, looks like a storm is at hand!

And just like that, it started raining.

"D(EEP!) YOU ALL!" Ed screamed at the sky.

"Brother," Al said reasonably, "instead of swearing at the top of your lungs to someone you'll never, ever be able to punch out, no matter how hard you try, maybe we should find some shelter."

"I agree with Al!" Winry said from where she and Paninya were hiding under the relative non-shelter of Winry's upraised wrench.

"Fine. Let's haul a(EEP!)." Ed and the other broke into a run, covering their heads as best as they could. The rain poured, the thunder rumbled, the lightning flashed, and God wondered when the Narrator had seized control of the rain.

And then the previous sentence was erased, because you don't mention God in kid-friendly shows. Just morals.

Anyway, the four ran and ran, and ran, and ran some more, and kept running, and continued to run, and would have had to have been running, and every other past, present, and future tense of the word "run" until they all smacked into the side of a building.

"OW!" they yelled in four-part harmony.

"Is this shelter?" Al mumbled into the side of the building.

They slowly pulled themselves out of the person-shaped craters they had made into the wall. "Dunno, but let's get inside!" Ed said.

"There's no door," Winry said.

"No door!" the others cried in unison, as they had been well overdue to say something in unison.

"Wait...how do we know that?" Paninya asked.

The others shrugged. "Well, where there isn't a door, make one!" Ed said confidently. "Al, use a Body Slam!"

Al put on his armor and body-slammed the wall, knocking a huge section out.

"Way to go!" Winry said as she and Paninya hurried inside. Ed brought up the rear.

They found themselves in what looked to be a conference room. A bunch of people were sitting in swivel chairs around an oval table. They were all facing a huge screen on the opposite wall, which displayed a shadowy head of some evil person.

"Hey, did you hear something?" one of the people at the table asked, motioning without looking to where Al had knocked part of the wall down.

"Must have been the rain," his friend said. No one turned around to investigate.

"Is this some evil conference?" Ed asked out loud.

"Hmm, was that the rain too?" another person at the table said.

Ed, Al, Winry, and Paninya exchanged glances.

"As I was saying," the dark figurehead on the screen said in a disguised voice, "we'll strike tonight. The happy town of Gold Youswell is chock full of Pokémists waiting to be illegally stolen by underpaid adults in horrible mismatched uniforms."

The people around the table cheered.

"What on earth?" Winry exclaimed.

"That's illegal, like that figurehead just said!" Paninya cried.

"Man, that rain's getting louder!" said one person.

"It almost sounds like voices, huh?" her friend pointed out.

"Yep!"

"You people are...IDIOTS!" Ed bellowed.

There was a moment's silence. Then, "Hey, if we close the door, do you think that'll drown out the rain better?"

Ed made the "they're crazy" sign beside his head to the others.

"Either that or selectively deaf," Paninya said.

"Well, at least we'll know what they're planning," Al pointed out.

One guy in an eye patch stood up. "Your Highness, how many of us do you want sent to the town?" he asked.

"An excellent question, King Bradley, my most trusted advisor and double agent of the police force," the figurehead said. "How about...pick a number between 1 and 1,000,000."

"6!" said one.

"1,000!" said another.

"321,028!" said another.

"6,000,000,000!" Ed yelled.

"F!" Winry yelled.

"Cheese!" Paninya yelled.

"Marcus!" Al yelled.

"Er, 44?" Bradley said.

"Excellent! Send 44. I'm counting on you."

Winry sneezed, still drenched from the rain.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" everyone in the room screamed, jumping up and turning to the knocked-out section of the wall.

"Oh, so NOW you notice us, you d(EEP!)heads?" Ed said sarcastically, getting up from where he and the others had sat on the fallen chunk of wall.

"Capture them!" the figurehead yelled. "They must not know our secrets!"

"TEAM HOMO BLIND FORWARD CHARGE!" all the people yelled, jumping over the table, chairs, and each other to run at the teenagers, as if planning to smack into them and thus render them all amnesiacs.

"Paninya! Use Metronome!" Winry said.

Paninya stepped forward and swung her pointer fingers back and forth for a moment. Then, when the adults were almost upon them, she yanked up her pants legs to reveal dozens of dangerous-looking rockets sticking out of them.

"Rockets of Rejection," Paninya said, firing them all. They blew up as soon as they ran into the adults, but since this is kid-friendly, instead of them all dying in pieces with gore splattering all over the place, they were simply launched through the roof with cute little burns on their skin and clothes that didn't seem to cause them any pain at all and would vanish in the next episode.

"THE COLLECTIVE MEMBERS OF TEAM HOMO ARE BEING LAUNCHED QUICKLY THROUGH THE CLOOOOOOOOOUDS!" they all cried, before disappearing with a twinkle.

"Rejected!" Paninya cheered, making the Loser sign on her forehead.

"Somehow, that wasn't as catchy as that those other three always say," Winry said to Ed.

Ed nodded.

"So," the figurehead said, "you are very impressive children. Maybe you'd like to join Team Homo."

Ed stared. Then he exploded--not literally, of course.

"WHODOYOUTHINKYOU'RECALLINGATINYCHILDWHOWON'TBERECOGNIZEDASANYTHINGOLDERTHANSIXUNTILHE'S77FREAKINGYEARSOLDHUHYOUSTUPID B(EEP!)F(EEP!)(BEEP!)(BEEP!)(BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!)"

"No thank you," Al said politely, knocking Ed out to shut him up.

"Hmm. Well, then, if you won't join us, then I must DESTROY YOU!"

"Wow, that sucks," Paninya said.

A bunch of hidden doors opened, revealing angry-looking Pokémists, who stalked out into the room.

"Now, my Pokémists, get them!" said the figurehead.

They all leaped into action with what looked like the same Blind Forward Charge as before.

"Paninya, use Earthquake!" Winry said.

Paninya pulled up her pant legs again and fired a bunch of rockets into the floor. They floor split in half, dropping all the Pokémists, the table, and the chairs into the ground.

"Wow, I didn't know there was a bottomless pit under this floor," Al said.

"Blast!" growled the figurehead. "It's time to move Headquarters--again! But don't think it's over." The screen clicked off.

Ed woke up. "What happened?"

"We had tea with the Queen and then stole her clothes," Paninya said.

"Oh. Okay. Let's get the h(EEP!) out of here," Ed said, turning around and walking through the hole in the wall.

The others followed. "Look how sunny it is again!" Paninya said.

"Yay!" the others cheered.

"I'm hungry!" Ed said.

The others laughed happily at his discomfort and skipped into the sunset, even though it was only 10:00 in the morning.

Narrator: And so, our heroes thwarted Team Homo's plans again. Maybe next time it won't be so easy!

"I'LL KILL YOU!!" Ed screamed off-screen.


Okay, so it was shorter than the others. But it's been so long since an update. I didn't want you to think I forgot!

In case you didn't quite catch it, the thing I was poking at today was how whenever Ash And The Gang would be hiding out listening to nefarious plans about something or other, they could discuss it at normal level, and nobody ever noticed. Heck, the people they were eavesdropping on would even politely pause so Ash and Co. didn't miss a word! How do you like that! Considerate villains!

Anyway, next time is unplanned, but I'll try to get something up sooner. Thanks for reading!