Just some drabbles I thought about while listening to Bea Arthur's voice.

Dorothy's Secret/ by Nasty Quasimodo

In the dark bathroom, Dorothy stood unzipping the skirt that she was wearing.

"Ah," she said as she aimed her anatomy at the toilet. Relief was evident in her eyes as she leaned back and let the urine flow. "Yeah! Sink you dumb Cheerios! Sink!"

Sophia came walking by, her little hunched over frame falling over in horror as she saw her "daughter" urinating into the toilet bowl standing up. "Mama mia! I didn't give birth to a son!" she exclaimed in terror as Dorothy zipped up HIS skirt and scratched his balls as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey, Ma. I've got a date with Barney tonight," Dorothy said. Not only did Sophia give birth to a man. But a transvestite at that!

In his ugly sequined dress and gaudy earrings and poofy gray hair, Dorothy could scarcely fit through the frame of the door with the atrociously large shoulder pads and his already wide, mannish exterior. For a few minutes "she" was stuck until "she" called out to Sophia for help.

"Ma, get out the lube!" Dorothy cried in exasperation. "I can't get through the door without the KY Touch Massage that I keep in my beside drawer!"

Sophia complied wordlessly, spreading the lube all over Dorothy so that he was able to squeeze out the door and Barney took "her" hand and left the house.

"Mama mia! Who knew that Dorothy had so much lube?" Sophia muttered to herself as she settled down with Old Lady's Digest.