There Are No Such Things as Vampires

Disclaimer: All the characters/ideas/locations in Naruto rightfully belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

WARNING: Mpreg (this is justified trust me!) OCCness might occur. Another character named Kyousuke (Kee-oh-skay).

Chapter 1…

Back in Town


Uzumaki Naruto slowly made his way down a long stretch of dirt road as the sun slowly creept up the horizon, the only sound accompanying him was the cawing of two hungry crows flying lazily in the sky.

Naruto's ears perked up as he felt a vibration under his feet. Diving into the shade of the surrounding trees, Naruto let his body melt into nothing and vanished.

His pursuer came to a skidding halt when he saw the blond male flinch out of existence.

The man turned his head wildly in every direction, looking for any signs of him in the thick cluster of brush.

That's when he heard a low chuckle from behind him. Spinning around, he gasped when he saw the blond standing directly behind him.

"Well look who it is!" the man grabbed a hold of Naruto, giving him a hug and succeeding in lifting Naruto off his feet.

"K-kiba?" Naruto blinked, startled.

"What kind of hello is that?" Kiba asked his face splitting into a grin. He put Naruto down but kept a firm hand on his shoulders. "Long time no see Blondie."


Kiba took in Naruto's disheveled appearance. The only thing the blond man had with him was a light blue duffel bag tossed casually on his shoulder and his usual energetic smile. His deep blue eyes still penetrated Kiba's but his eyelids drooped from lack of sleep.

"You haven't changed much. You still smell like dog," Naruto said wrinkling his nose. Kiba let out a bark of laughter, slapping Naruto on the shoulder harder than he should have.

"And you still can't tell a joke."

They both grinned at each other, but Kiba lost his smile and his face took on a serious look.

"I have to warn you thought Naruto." The blond clenched his jaw. "Iruka and Kakashi threw you a surprise welcome home party."

Kiba's grin was back in place and Naruto visibly relax, leading Kiba to wonder what he had been nervous about.

"Well it can't be that bad," Naruto said scratching the back of his head.

"This is Iruka and Kakashi we're talking about here."

After another bout of laughter they walked side by side into the quite village.

At the gate of the village, they passed a pair of guards sitting under the shade of their post. As Naruto passed by one guard sat up quickly, spilling all of his coffee on the other. His partner let out a loud yelp, cradling his burnt hand and glaring at his partner.

Naruto's azure eyes wondered over to the pair, his pupils dilating as he saw the guard's blood pool to the surface.

The guard, mistakenly thinking Naruto was giving him a lustful gaze, blushed deeply. A low rumble of laughter escaped Kiba's lips making both guards glare at him.

"I swear Naruto, you'll be the death of people."

Kiba chuckled when Naruto scowled at him. The blond frowned, his thoughts suddenly filled with images of him licking the injured hand and penetrating it with his fangs.

"Let's just get out of here," Naruto mumbled hurrying his pace. Kiba nodded his goodbye to the guards before following his annoyed friend into the city.

When they finally made it to the heart of the village, the sun was high and the villagers had long since started to venture out for their early morning routines.

Some of them stopped long enough to stare at the pair. More specifically Naruto.

"I'm starting to think it was a bad idea to come back here." Naruto sighed, glancing at a pair of girls who were gawking at him. He could hear their whispering buzz in his ear like a swarm of flies.

To his relief, Kiba's apartment was only a few blocks away.

"You could always go back."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched. Turning his eyes back to the street, he let out a groan as he noticed a group of girls heading towards him. Kiba laid a sympathetic hand on Naruto's shoulders. He smiled mischievously then suddenly pushed his friend towards the group.

Naruto let out a surprised gasp and brought his hands out to steady himself but to his utter shock and horror they landed on two soft breasts.

"Pervert!" the girl screamed.

Naruto let out a startled yelp as the girl started to beat him with her purse.

"Ow-I'm sorry okay! It was –ow- an accident jeeze-ow- STOP!" Naruto caught the girls arm mid-air before the purse could hit him with another painful blow to the head. He glared at her but his expression softened when he recognized the short pink hair and bright green eyes.

The girl wasn't a girl at all. She had matured into a young woman since he had last seen her, with very firm breasts.

Naruto blinked, thinking of the veins pulsing under his hands when he had touched her warm chest. He gave her an uneasy smile.

Kiba held his stomach as he laughed. Glaring at him, the blond uttered a threat under his voice.

"I saw that Kiba," Haruno Sakura growled. "And you." She turned to him next and glared.

Naruto watched in mild amusement as her eyes bugged out when she realized who she was looking at.

"Naruto!" she squealed jumping into his arms. Naruto let out a surprised grunt, hesitated a little, then hugged his old friend back. She released her hold on him, holding him at arms length. Her eyes swept over his body and face and back to his body again.

"Hey Sakura-chan," Naruto said grinning sheepishly under her careful scrutiny.

"Wow, Naruto you look…great." Naruto shifted uncomfortably under her admiring eyes.

Someone behind Sakura cleared their throat, making the pink haired woman swivel around. She blinked at her friends as if suddenly realizing that they were there.

Naruto swallowed.

"Erm-sorry. You know Hinata and Ino."

Naruto shifted his gaze to the two girls behind Sakura.

"It's n-nice to see you again Naruto," Hinata peeped out. She still looked almost the same with her shy posture, almond shaped lilac eyes, and long glossy black hair that framed a much more mature face.

"Nice to see you too Hinata." He grinned at her before turning to the girl next to her.

Ino was no longer the scrawny platinum blonde girl he once knew.

She had acquired the body of a gymnast with a strong, muscular upper body and small perky breasts.

At the thought of breasts Naruto almost started hitting his head with a fist. He cleared his throat and turned back to Sakura, noticing she was wearing a pink strapless summer dress.

"I - go now," Naruto mumbled out hurriedly.

Kiba snorted.

The girls stared blankly at him.

The fact that he could clearly see their erect veins from their exposed necks didn't help either.

Haku was right, he wasn't ready to come back to the real world yet.

He had to get out of there.

"I've got a great idea!" Sakura suddenly squealed, breaking the awkward silence. "Why doesn't Naruto-kun come with us to have lunch? "

Sakura's eyes brightened as she grinned at Naruto. Said blond inwardly gulped when he noticed the other girls looking at him.

Kiba nodded to Naruto.

"Sorry, I have other stuff to do - I'll meet you back at my place," Kiba said hurriedly. He waited as Naruto threw him his bag before winking at him and walking down the busy sidewalk.

Naruto turned back to the girls, trying to avoid looking at any part of their exposed bodies.

"You look like you work out," Ino said, running her fingers along Naruto's stomach, a smile playing across her face when she felt the bumps of his abs.

"Not really," Naruto squealed, trying not to shudder.

"Come on you or we'll be late," Sakura growled pulling Ino's hand away. The blonde girl blinked as if waking up from a dream and let Sakura drag her away.

"Where exactly are we going?" Naruto asked following.

"You'll see," Ino said in a sing-song voice.

They passed by three music stores, a market place, and a large book shop before stopping in front of a café .

As they stepped inside, the girls made a bee-line to a pair of double doors at the back of the café where a horde of University students were scattered outside on the patio.

Naruto's stomach did a nervous back flip as he recognized some of his old friends.

The first to notice him was Neji, his pale eyes brushing over Naruto's face. On his left sat Gaara, who raised one eyebrow when he saw Naruto.

Neji discreetly nudged the sleeping figure on the other side of him.

Shikamaru sent Neji a leer before looking up to see Naruto.

Then he sat straight up.

"Well well."

The third and final man finally looked over.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Naruto swallowed when he noticed the dark haired man look at him. His jaw developed a tick when he spotted a small boy perched on Sasuke's lap.

Sasuke's expression didn't change. Naruto's heart hammered in his chest as he felt his fangs prick the inside of his mouth but was jolted back to reality when he felt a warm hand touching his forearm.

"Naruto? Are you alright?" Sakura whispered.

"I'm..." Naruto looked around and found he was being stared at. And to his great horror, he had ended up sitting between Sakura and Sasuke.

"What is he doing here?" Sasuke's asked quietly, his voice cold.

"I invited him," Sakura said.

The girls looked back and forth between them as if watching a tennis match.

Neji looked somewhat amused, Gaara looked uneffected, and Shikamaru laid his head back down.

Naruto sighed when no one came to his rescue. 'Nice to see he hasn't changed,' he thought bitterly. Deciding to ignore the seemingly pissed off Uchiha, he turned his attention to the small boy who was sitting in his lap.

"And who are you kid?" Naruto asked smiling. Sasuke stiffened.

"I'm no kid," The boy said. Naruto let out a soft chuckle.

"Alright little-man, what's your name?" Naruto asked giving him a warm smile. The boy looked up at Sasuke as if asking him for permission. The Uchiha glanced at Naruto, and then gave the boy a curt nod.

"Kyousuke," the boy answered. "Kyousuke Uzu-" Sasuke clasped a hand over his mouth before he could continue.

© 2007 TheGoddessAthena