-Mamoru Must Die!-

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.

Author's Note- this is the first in what will hopefully be a series of omake (a short spoof or parody). You see, it seems like there's an awful lot of people out there who are fans of the Rei/Usagi pairing. Hell, just look at the number of fanfics dealing with this pair.

But, there's a small problem: Mamoru. Yes folks, unfortunately tux-boy is always there to ruin this pairing. Therefore, ladies and gentleman, Mamoru Must Die!

---Omake One: Little Girl Lost---

The little girl was lost, afraid in the big city. She'd lost her parents a while back in the crowded Tokyo streets. With tears running down her eyes, she stood at the busy intersection. The light had changed, and she was about to be dragged with the crowd further from her folks, when a rose flew down from above, landing an her feet.

"A child belongs with her parents, not alone and lost in the streets." a gentle voice said, "Come, I'll help you."

The child turned to see a man wearing a long cape over a tuxedo, his features hidden by a top hat and mask, and in his hand he held a cane.

She immediately panicked.

"AAAA!" she screamed, "It's a pimp! He's trying to steal me away!"

The man looked anxiously around at the now angry adults staring at him,

"WHAT? Kid, I'm not dressed like this because I'm a pimp! I'm Tuxedo..."

Quickly remembering what she learned in the self-defense for kids class at the YWCA her parents sent her to, the child immediately cut the stranger off with a swift kick to the groin. As he staggered back in agony clutching his crotch, the light changed, and he was killed by a head-on collision with a Mack truck.

The next day, Rei went over to a tearful Usagi's house where her blond friend was weeping over a newspaper with the headline, "Hero girl fights off Pervert."

"He... He's gone..." Usagi sobbed, "My Mamo-chan... gone..."

"That's okay." Rei said as she wrapped her arms around the blond, her eyes narrowing ever so softly as a smile teased her lips, "I'm sure I can help comfort you..."

-To Be Continued-