Far Too Complicated to Define

Unbeta-ed. (Yeah, the tenses are screwy.) Sort of a joke that came from trying to explain the Logan, Lulu, Johnny, and Spinelli situation to someone who doesn't watch GH. Not really sure about Johnny, lately the episodes have been boring me so I'm a little behind.
Anyway, yes this is about Johnny and Spin together. In that way. If that's going to make your head explode, save yourself the trouble and don't read.

EDIT: And I just stumbled onto a rumor on the spinelligh livejournal group that Johnny might be Spinelli's uncle. Huh. Hand to god, I promise I hadn't heard that before I wrote this. Makes things interesting though ,doesn't it?


Johnny doesn't really notice Spinelli until that time they're rescuing Lulu from a monastery. The whole situation is weird. And Spinelli is just really weird too. But he gets Johnny's attention because he's smart. Not just street smart, like most of the people Johnny knows, but smart like he spent a long time locked in a library. Johnny respects that. A lot of people in the business are buff and tough, but very few of them probably know a half of what Spinelli knows. Johnny's never thought of himself as particularly smart, but it's a trait he finds attractive.

Attractive. That's really the whole problem. Not that Johnny's never been attracted to a guy, because he has. It's just that Spinelli is always there ,in his face, two tables away, just around the corner. Now that Johnny's noticed him, the lack of distance is driving him mad.

Normally? Johnny doesn't stick around with guys that give him a hard-on. That's just a whole lot of trouble that he really doesn't have time to deal with. But this time he's not really in the position to leave. And between Lulu on one side and Spinelli on the other, he can't seem to find a moment's relief.

He knows things are bad when he goes to Logan for information. Which is pretty awkward, because Logan is a pissy bitch. And he keeps looking at Johnny like he's yesterday's garbage.

But, Johnny's a big boy. He can suck it up if it means getting what he wants. So he shoves aside the hostility, bites his tongue, and tries not to glare.

"Why do you want to know about Spinelli?" Logan asked. He's got that stupid smirk of his, the one that Johnny just wants to punch off his face.

"He spends a lot of time with Lulu." Johnny explained calmly.

"What, so you think the kid's dangerous?" Logan snorted, "The only thing dangerous about him is the company he keeps."

They had a manly starring contest over their cups of coffee. Much to Johnny's satisfaction, Logan broke the gaze first. "Alright, well…he's a grandma's boy, for one thing. And…he worked for Lorenzo Alcazar when he first came to town."

Lorenzo Alcazar. Johnny's eyebrows furrowed. He never would have guessed. Then again, the guy did live in a penthouse with the Corinthos enforcer.

"And, uh…" Logan shrugged. "His first name is Damian. That's all I know. Why don't you ask somebody who actually likes that guy?"

Of course, Johnny wasn't about to go ask someone else. Asking Logan had been bad enough, and he'd only done it because the ex-commando was the only person he could think of. Besides Lulu, but that that was a big fat no. And Morgan, but that would have been a painful conversation that Johnny didn't imagine would end well. Luckily, he'd found out enough as it was.

Damian, for example. Damian. Like, The Omen. If that wasn't a sign about how things would end, then Johnny didn't know what was. And although no one had actually told him, he knew Spinelli was still pining for the lost love of that Jones girl. And he was obviously in something with Lulu. So, chances were that Spinelli was probably straight.

Johnny decided to keep these…thoughts to himself. Between Trevor, Corinthos, Lulu, Moreau, and his own fucked up father, there just isn't time. But Johnny's a young man, and Lulu hasn't cut him any slack, and when he wakes up for the fifth night in a row with the image of shaggy brown hair and pale, flushed cheeks stuck in his head he decides to screw logic and good ideas and just go get what he wants. Because he's Johnny fucking Zacchara.

Trevor, unknowingly, helps Johnny. He's all smug smirks and a condescending gaze because he set up some stupid mob meeting with Morgan without asking Johnny, and it takes every last piece of control for Johnny to not laugh in his face.

Johnny catches Spinelli outside of Kelly's. Not right outside, because Mike's in there, and Lulu, which means Logan too, and god forbid they think he's threatening the kid or kidnapping him or taking him out back to break his kneecaps. He drags him just out of sight and ignores the stutters and mumbles and slightly shrieky protests by clamping his hand down over those big, pouty lips.

"Listen up, Spinelli." Johnny hisses in the squirming man's ear, "You and me, we're going back to your penthouse for a while to..have a little chat. You either cooperate or…things end badly. Got it?"

Really, there was no point scaring the guy so much, but lately Johnny had been on the short end of the self-control circuit. Plus, there was something…just something about the way those eyes looked when they were wide and frightened. Spinelli nodded jerkily in the more muscular man's grip. Smart guy, he didn't even bother to struggle. That would have just wasted energy better spent on other activities.

Johnny pulled the blabbering man after him, trying to get to the penthouse as inconspicuously as he could. A task easier said than done, considering that a significant amount of people knew who both of them were. When they got to the elevators, Spinelli had finally gotten to his point. "And if the Unhinged One thinks that Stone Cold will let him get away with doing grievous harm to the Jackal, then he is most horribly, horribly mistaken!"

"I'm not going to hurt you. Damian." Johnny emphasized. Spinelli got quiet for a moment. His mouth moved but it took a few seconds for sound to come out.

"Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me…I mean, you can call me the Jackal, if you'd like. Or, uh, the Cyber Assassin? Or, maybe—"

"I don't know." Johnny flexed his grip on the back of the other man 's neck. "I like Damian. Just between the two of us. Makes things more personal, right?"

"P-Personal?" Spinelli squeaked. The elevator dinged open at the penthouse.

"Open the door, Damian."

Johnny let Spinelli go, but he stayed close. Close enough to get brushed by something of Spinelli's with the nervous mans constant jerking around. "Oh man," Spinelli mumbled. He fumbled the key out of his pocket and nearly dropped it several times. "The Jackal is hoping this does not turn out to be the key to his demise, so to speak."

"I told you I'm not going to hurt you." Johnny said impatiently. "Well…much."

Spinelli yanked open the door and fled into the penthouse. The Zacchara heir stuck his foot in the doorway just in time to stop it from being slammed in his face. Spinelli backed away with a frustrated groan.

Johnny stepped in and gave Spinelli a look. He made a show of slowly sliding the locks into place behind him, enjoying the way the raccoon-eyed man squirmed. "You know, Morgan's at a meeting with Trevor. He won't be back for at least a few hours."

"Right. So maybe the, uh, Unhinged One would enjoy something in the way of refreshments? Perhaps some orange soda, or—"

Johnny grabbed Spinelli by his preppy collar, pulled him forward, and kissed him. Hard. He pushed the slightly taller figure onto the desk near the door, taking pleasure in the thought that it had to be Morgan's.

Spinelli let out a terrified moan, and Johnny pulled away with an audible pop. "Do you do that every time you get kissed, or just when it's a guy?"

"Weird…bizarre…universe." Spinelli panted. He gaped at Johnny with wide eyes. "I think I've fallen into another dimension. "

"Listen," Johnny told him, one hand on the table and the other fingered tightly in Spinelli's hair, "It's not that hard to understand. I'm attracted to you, and I think we should sleep together."

"But…that Blonde One!"

"Doesn't care enough to give either of us the time of day."

Spinelli floundered. But, Johnny noted, he hadn't spazzed out or tried to slug Johnny or, and Johnny had imagined the scenario, started crying.

"You been with a guy before?" Johnny pressured.

"Uh…" Spinelli blushed. "Once."

"Well," Johnny smirked," Allow me to expand your knowledge on the subject."

Later, Johnny drowsily found himself looking at the very pink wallpaper of Spinelli's room. "Don't even say it." Spinelli muttered next to him.

Johnny pushed himself up on his elbows half-heartedly. "I gotta go. Morgan will be back soon."

Oh no, Johnny thought. We were only together for maybe two hours, no, no, no. "Maybe we can get together later."

Spinelli peaked up at him. "Yeah."

Johnny kissed him one more time, pushing brown hair out of the way.

Johnny pulled his rumpled clothes back on and spent a few minutes watching Spinelli stumble around trying to put his pants on. He found the permanent blush on the brunette's face to be endearing, which was awful. Awful because it meant Johnny was getting attached. He'd already thrown the notion of this being a one day stand out the window. He knew there was going to be trouble when he'd heard the way Spinelli had stuttered out his name during sex.

Good job John, he told himself in the elevator, if only to keep his thoughts from flexible legs and an arching back and high-pitched moans. He was shaking his head when he stepped out of the elevator…

…and right in front of Morgan.

"Zacchara." The built blonde gave him that blank stare. "What are you doing here?"

Johnny rolled his shoulders and returned the stare with his own. "Just paying Spinelli a visit. You got a problem with that?"

Jason tensed. "Spinelli? If you did something—"

"We're friends." Johnny interrupted before the threats could get started. Right now he just wanted to go home and sleep. He brushed past the enforcer with a casual ease. When he glanced out of the corner of his eye, he saw Morgan hurrying into the elevator and he smirked.

He wondered if Spinelli would tell the truth. Or if he would fumble around with a million words, trying to think of something. Johnny hoped he'd have a hard time. He deserved it for all the trouble he was turning out to be.