Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Forged I.D.'s and I Do's

by Chinita92

Chapter Fourteen:




1. an angry dispute or altercation; a disagreement marked by a temporary or permanent break in friendly relations.

Drops of water rhythmically cut down over them, soaking her clothes and his bare skin. Not knowing what else to do, she wrapped her arms over his upper body, shifting his head onto her collar. She brought two fingers up, for what seemed like the 7th time, and pressed it against his neck. Once again, she hardly felt a pulse. So, she attempted something that she knew she was good at.

"Clark, its Lois. Listen, you're home now. Wake up." She struggled to say as her throat closed up. "Please… I'm so sorry. I should've gotten to you earlier. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry." She pushed back his drenched locks with her tremulous fingertips, wishing he'd open his vibrant blue eyes. "I promise that if you get through this, I'll… I'll stop taking the last piece of pie... yes, it's been me the whole time," Lois blinked out the tears that clouded her vision. "I'll stop insisting on driving your truck. I know how much you hate that, given the history you have with totaling your cars. Is this your… 6th truck already?" She smiled sadly, tasting the saltiness of her tears. "Look at me, Smallville, crying in the shower. Can it get any cornier than that? Of course, if it were in the rain that would beat it out of the ballpark of all things cheesy." She said, furiously wiping her face, only to get soaked seconds after.

"I'm rambling aren't I?"


Clark sighed as he sat alone in the breakfast table, swirling the orange juice in his glass. It had been 3 days of complete silence. Who knew he'd trade a lifetime of quiet in exchange for an hour of nonstop Lois Lane ramblings. It had become ridiculous, really. And what ate at him, was that he had no idea how to fix it. One thing he knew for sure... it was inconceivable for Clark Kent to have Lois Lane never speak to him again. It just couldn't happen. It wouldn't happen.

Lois shut the bedroom door behind her and strolled on into the kitchen. Just like that. Without a care in the world.

"Good morning, Lois." He said nonchalantly. Although she replied nothing, she stopped in her tracks and shot him a quick look, but the daze was over in nothing. She continued over to the coffee pot, her mouth only opening for a yawn. Clark rolled his eyes. This was getting old.

"Lois, do you plan on talking to me, or do you want to simultaneously combust at your lack of speech? I don't remember you ever going this long without speaking. It's just 'un-Lane' like."

She shut her eyes, hoping she could wish herself away from this retched apartment. "No offense to you Jimmy." She murmured thoughtlessly to herself.

Clark immediately spun out of his chair and stood by her side. "You spoke." He said in a statement, not a question. Lois simply shrugged and walked to the fridge in search of coffee creamer.

"It's obvious you're not mute, Lois. Just say something, please. Anything. Curse me out for all I care, but you're driving me crazy here."

Lois turned to Clark, looking bored whilst stirring her cup of Joe. 'There go those damn puppy dog eyes. I will not give in. Never.' she thought and walked over the table, sipping from one of Jimmy's tacky mugs. She glanced at the newspaper with a grimace. Stupid bimbo from the Inquisitor stole her Bigfoot byline. Feeling a pair of, most likely, blue-green eyes burning holes through her flannel PJs, Lois threw her stare-down partner a side look that could send a full grown man crying to his mother. Clark was apparently not very fluent in body language. Instead of backing down, Clark pretty much did the opposite.

"Lois, you know... this is beyond ridiculous. We're not 10 years old. When two people have an issue, they work it out," he said, coming closer and closer until their bodies were inches apart. She gulped, feeling her pulse speed up. She hated him. She sat up on the table behind her, desperate for some form of space. Was he going to bust a move on her, again? All of a sudden, she wished she had used mouthwash that morning. She glanced at her attire. Ugh. She wore pink and purple kites on a clouded yellow backdrop. It didn't help with the whole '10 year old' illustration in his ongoing speech. By the time she looked up, Clark was walking away, his cup of orange juice in hand. What had he said? She sighed.


Clark turned around, a ridiculously giddy smile on his face. "You're back! Or at least your voice is. Do it again."

Once she had opened her mouth, all her willpower vanished with her silence. "Who were you calling a 10 year old? Did you just hear yourself?"

"Sorry, Lois. I'm just so happy you're speaking to me again."

"Don't get too worked up there, cowboy. You're not off the lasso just yet, if you get my drift."

He took a second to process her tremendously random analogy, to then realize he had another problem to deal with.

"I'm only speaking to you to prove that I am not a child," she paused and glanced at her pajamas for the second time that morning, "despite my choice of attire." Lois puffed her chest out in phony confidence to compensate for the embarrassment.

Clark, too, followed her line of vision to admire her cute cartoon kites and smiled. "I don't care about your pajamas, Lois. In fact, I like them. It makes you... well, you; which is why your silent treatment drove me out of my mind. It's like hearing a cat bark. It's unnatural."

Lois held her hands up. "I can't say I'm sure if that's a compliment, but I will say this. You're crazy. The years we've known each other, you've always complained about my big mouth. Now, all of a sudden you want to insure it?" She said, shaking her head in confusion.

"I guess the saying is true… you don't know what you've got until it's gone." Clark said, his voice a little shaky; he wasn't sure if Lois caught the dual meaning in his words.

"Uh, well I guess." Lois looked down to her fuzzy bunny slippers, feeling her face light on fire. Lois Lane was a smart woman.

"So, we're good?" Clark asked, hoping the photo ordeal would be a thing of the past.

Slowly, Lois raised her head, allowing her vision to align with Clark's. That's when he caught sight of her disbelieving stare.

"I guess not…" he mumbled.

"Are you kidding me? You think you can throw me a charming smile, an 'earth-shattering' revelation regarding my vocal chords and I'll fall at your feet?" Lois asked, throwing up her guard once again. She couldn't let him in for a second time, not after he made it clear that he was momentarily confused back at the store... when he came onto her. She sighed. All she had to do was keep her distance for the remaining week and she'd be home free. Back to normal. A nagging voice in the back of her head told her things would never go back to how they were, but she resisted.

"Lois. I'll do anything. I don't like having this," he stuttered, waving his arms around, feeling unsure of the word he was looking for, "this… thing between us, and of all things because of a picture."

"Whoa. What thing, Clark? There's not a thing going on between us." Lois spat out, turning around and snatching the newspaper off the breakfast table. She stood there avoiding the after effects of the words she had just said. It seemed Clark was taken aback since they both stood in silence for a good minute.

"I'll throw the picture out. Rip it up. Burn it. Freeze it, and then drop it off the roof. Take your pick, Lois." Clark said in the dead air. "That is the reason why you're angry with me... right?"

'Damn it.' Lois thought. 'That's what I get for shoving my whole leg down my esophagus.'

"I'll take 'none of the above'." She answered and then spun around, facing him once again. "I'll keep it under my personal supervision, though. I don't trust you just yet, Smallville." Lois said, avoiding his latter question, but soon thought of her own to ask. "By the way, you never did tell me why you kept the photo. It's a little weird, don't you think?" Lois asked, feeling the ball rolling on her side of the court again.

Clark squinted, thinking just how to answer the lady's daring query. "I'll let you know as soon as you explain why you got so worked up about it in the first place." he paused for dramatic effect, " It was a little weird… don't you think?"

She couldn't believe he was doing that. "Well, for one… you kept something from me. You were sneaky. You mopped the floor with what I told Jimmy, which was 'I want that picture gone'- as in, Adios, Nonexistent, Forgotten, Extinct, etc .etc. etc!" Lois replied heatedly. Numbering things off had a certain effect on her.

"Lois, we both know that you overreacted. There's something else that's bothering you and I want you to tell me…" Clark pleaded sincerely. Noticing Lois' defensive stance didn't budge, he treaded on, "and since I suspect you won't, let's make a deal. When you decide to tell me why you're truly upset, I'll tell you why I kept the photograph."

Lois let the idea sink in. "...Or you tell me why you kept it, and I'll tell you why I got mad." Lois said, her voice projecting satisfaction.

Lois Lane: 1

Clark Kent: 0

He hadn't expected her to pull a reverse on him. If he opened up to Lois first, there was a possibility that she would still plead the fifth… and he'd end up like an idiot. Clark remained silent and kept it safe.

"Then I guess I'll never know." Lois whispered, with what Clark swore was a pinch of disappointment. She began to walk away from him, her cup of cold coffee in her hands and the rolled up newspaper under her right arm. He sped in front of her, causing her to stop abruptly, and in result to spill her coffee on her pajama top.

"Clark!" Lois shrieked when feeling the sticky cold substance seep through her clothing.

"I'm so sorry, Lois. It seems I can't do anything right lately." He said, his shoulders sagging.

"I have to go change." Lois said, dropping her mug into the kitchen sink. Clark watched her walk into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. He made his way over to the couch and sunk into its seat cushions.

"Real smooth."

Lois paced over to Jimmy's master bath, dropping the scarcely wet newspaper on the linoleum floor. She hastily removed her clothes and dropped them in the hamper, anxious to be free of them. Opening the shower curtain she found her towel was missing.

"Great." She turned around and made her way to the door, but stopped dead in her tracks. She bent down and picked up the newspaper, which had coincidentally fallen in the Matrimony section.

"Lex Luthor and Lana Lang married." Lois read aloud and swallowed hard. "Clark will be heartbroken." She stood up and burst through the door that opened up to her room. She dropped the newspaper on the floor and kicked it under the bed. Having retrieved her towel and clean clothes, Lois returned to the bathroom.

Halfway through her shower, she decided she wouldn't tell Clark. It just wasn't the right time. They had three days left and she would make sure they were the angst-free, worry-free, and peaceful. She reasoned that he'd have plenty of pining and suffering to deal with when they'd get back home to Smallville. Why give him a head-start?

"Besides, three more days of friendly behavior with Clark can't really cause much more amorous damage." Lois rationalized aloud.


To be continued…

A/N: We'll soon be at the beginning of this chapter- at the point where Lois… is in the shower with Clark? Gasp. Why?! Lol. Okay. So the part I've been avoiding. You guys have every right to hate me for 1: taking a year to update, and 2: posting a boring chapter nonetheless. Sorry! Expect the next chapters to be fluffy Clois that will indeed backfire Lois' reasoning: 3 more days can very well complicate things even more between these two. Again, I'm so sorry.

I also want to thank all of you guys who have waited this whole time. I honestly didn't think people were still thinking about this story. In addition, I want to thank Loulou26's story Epiphany for inspiring me to write again (that and all of your reviews, guys.).

You're all the best!


Chapter Fourteen:

by Blazel

Forged I.D.'s and I Do's