Story Status: Complete
Series/Sequel Info: Sequel to I Said Yes
Categories: UST, hint at romance
Pairings: Sam/Jack Sam/Pete Jack/Kerry
Content Warnings: None
Summary: Sam struggles to deal with the events of Threads.
Archive Permissions: Please ask.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters relating to Stargate. They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I'm just playing around with them for a little while!
File Size: 2,689 words
Authors Note: This story takes place directly after Daniel returns from being "ascended/dead" in Threads…Jack has handed him the flag to cover himself with etc etc… Sequel to "I Said Yes". There is elements of Sam/Pete and Jack/Kerry in this, but again, it all ends very well so don't worry!
Date: 31st January, 2008
"It's…uh, a long story," Daniel mumbled, pulling the flag slightly tighter around his body.
All anyone in the briefing room seemed capable of doing was grinning.
"Daniel," Jack muttered. "I think you had best get yourself into some clothes and then to the infirmary for a full work up, that's an order."
Sam practically snorted from her place at the main table and everyone else was looking at anything but him.
"Sure thing…I guess I'll let you guys know exactly what….happened…later?"
"That's fine Danny boy," he replied smiling. "De-briefing at 18:00 hours."
Daniel nodded and then walked as slowly and as dignified as possible towards the briefing room door. Seconds later they heard his feet slapping against the concrete as he broke out into a run. Everyone broke out into fits of laughter; even Sam.
Sam had left the briefing room not long after Daniel, after bidding farewell to Bra'tac and informing the General that she would return for the briefing after grabbing some food.
In fact, Sam had no intention what so ever of grabbing anything to eat. She walked straight towards her quarters, pushed open the door and walked inside, closing it quietly behind her. She leaned back against the cold metal, letting her head tap backwards and forwards against it for a few seconds. Then it happened; the tears came.
Fast, stinging, painful tears, representing everything that had happened to her over the past few days; her Dad arriving and then falling ill, her failed attempt to talk to the General about her second thoughts about the wedding, her Dad finally succumbing to his frailties and her subsequent break up with Pete and then the near destruction of the base.
If only she had been able to talk to the General about her feelings that day, if only her Dad hadn't started fading so quickly, if only Kerry Johnson hadn't been at his house that day…
She could have talked through her worries with him; after all, that day in the elevator, he had said that he was always going to be there for her, no matter what. What ever she needed, she knew she could go to him. And that day she needed to be reassured she was doing the right thing marrying Pete - or to be told that it was the biggest mistake of her life…
But what was she thinking? God, she knew that not in a million years would either of them do anything to jeopardize either of their careers, it simply wasn't their way.
Still crying, Sam walked over to her bed on the other side of the room and sat down on it slowly, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
She had to get a grip on herself; she couldn't let the others know how much she was hurting, not today anyway. Not with everything else that was going on.
She concentrated on slowing her breathing down…in…out…in...out…sniff…out.
Her mind was in a whirl; her Dad was dead. And unlike the usual dead where there was usually some way to bring you back, this was the dead dead kind. No way back; no miraculous resurrections, just dead.
She slowed her thoughts down, thinking back to what she had said to the General in the observation room.
"Actually, I'm fine. Good, even, strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him four years ago. Since then, we've been closer than we ever were in my whole life. In a way, Selmak gave me the father I never thought I'd know."
She hadn't been lying; when she slowed her breathing, her mind, her body down, she realised that she really was ok. That everything she had said then was true. Every now and again she would just panic, realising that she would never see her father again.
Now that she had calmed herself a little from her outburst, Sam stood from the bed. She walked over to the mirror that she had placed on the wall all those years ago when she had first been assigned these quarters. As she looked in the mirror, she saw a woman that had quite obviously been crying; but thank the lord for water proof mascara. When she had done her make up that morning, she had purposely used it, thinking she might need it.
Wiping under her eyes with her middle fingers just to clear a little smudging, she decided the best thing to do would be to make a run for the commissary and then get back here as quickly as possible to be alone before the de-briefing. She needed to be alone, if she sat in a public place right now she couldn't guarantee not losing it again.
She ran her fingers roughly through her hair and practiced her best fake smile in the mirror.
"Not good," she said aloud to herself. "But it'll have to do."
Jack watched her walk from the briefing room. Or rather flee, like someone who had just been yelled down in public. His heart pulled in 100 different directions for her.
How could he have been so stupid? To not think that she wouldn't ever turn up at his house un-announced. People do that all the time! And there he was, with Kerry. He knew as soon as he saw her walking up to him, why she was there. But in that instant he knew there was nothing he could do for her at that time.
As soon as she had said the words "I gotta go, it's my dad," he had known that there were going to be extremely hard times ahead; that Jacob was soon going to be gone forever and that Sam would not find that an easy thing to live with.
Jacob had told Jack as soon as they had been alone together that he was dying and that he would please request that Jack did not inform his daughter. Jack resented Jake for it, that he had asked him to lie to her; but at the same time, he knew why he had done it.
Jack returned from his musings to say goodbye Bra'tac, who was being escorted to the gateroom by Teal'c. Jack had never been more proud of the pair of them; the victory that they had won that day would be marked in history forever and he was proud to have been a part of it.
He turned from the window overlooking the Stargate and walked towards his office; the office that not so long ago he had been told to retire from. Jack thought back to the conversation with Kerry, but soon shook all thoughts of retirement off; he couldn't give up his work, not just yet. It would be like admitting he was too old or worn out to contribute anymore, and that most certainly was not the case.
He thought of Kerry and how good it had made him feel to hold a woman in his arms again; in his house and not on an alien world and in his bed. Kerry was quite a woman, but deep down in his heart, he knew, not the woman for him.
Jack walked behind his desk and sat, trying to block out the mountain of files to his left waiting for review and sign off.
He couldn't explain how, but he just had a feeling that right now, he was missing something. Something important and that he needed to be there.
Sam walked as quickly as she could to the commissary without raising suspicion with anyone who passed her; she didn't need anyone asking her loads of questions right now. Once at the doors she peered through the windows first to make sure there wasn't anyone from her immediate team in there; she wasn't sure she was up for the sympathy talks just yet.
Seeing that the coast was clear, she pushed the doors open and entered, heading straight for the spare trays and food cabinets, hoping to get in and out as quickly as possible so she could get back to the confinement of her quarters.
Jack sat for about 5 minutes and even attempted to start working on the pile of files on his desk, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something.
His stomach lurched unceremoniously and he almost felt ill. Then he realised that he probably hadn't eaten in oh…10 hours?
"Right, time for a break I'd say," he said aloud to no one in particular.
He stood quickly from his desk and headed out into the corridor towards the elevator. Pushing the button he had to wait for a few seconds before it arrived, when it did, he entered and pushed the button for sub-level 22 – commissary.
Sam had filled her tray with enough food to keep her going for the next couple of hours, at least until the de-brief was over.
Her jello almost slid off the side of her tray as she was pushing the commissary doors open with her back; luckily a passing airman saved it for her.
"Thank you airman," Sam said, smiling as best as she could for him.
"No problems Colonel Carter," he replied, holding the door for her so she could exit without dropping everything all over the floor this time.
She walked as casually as she could away from him and towards the elevator – she was well aware that her eyes were still blood shot and that he either suspected that she had been crying or that she was on drugs. Part of her even hoped it was the latter – she didn't like people seeing or knowing that she had been crying as it wasn't something she made a habit of.
The elevator was already open on another floor so she had to wait a few seconds after calling it. As she did one of the five chocolate bars she had selected decided to slide from one end of the tray to the other. Then another one…and a third…then her pre-packed sandwich…which pushed her banana off the edge onto the floor upsetting the weight distribution she had accomplished and making her drop the whole thing on the floor by the elevator door.
As she yelled "Damn it!" in the direction of the tray, the doors opened and once again, she wondered what kind of god was up there that was cursing her with the worst event timing ever.
"Carter! What happened?" Jack said as the doors opened to reveal a rather dishevelled looking Sam Carter along with a tray upside down on the floor and what looked like jello leaking out from underneath; as well as all manner of other foods strewn about the floor.
Carter looked up at him with red, puffy eyes and he knew immediately what she had been doing after she had left the briefing room.
"I just dropped the tray Sir, it's nothing…" she trailed off, looking away from him and turning the tray up the right way to start putting the food back on it.
"Oh for crying out loud Carter.." he muttered and stalked past her.
Sam looked up in shock and followed him with her eyes as he opened the commissary door.
"Airman!" he yelled. "Please clear up the mess by the elevator."
The young airman that had held the door open for her came running past the General almost immediately in her direction. Sam stood up and away from the mess.
"Sir, I can do it, really…"
"Really nothing Carter," he interrupted walking towards her. "Your coming with me, come on."
He took her elbow gently and they stepped over the airman by the elevator, walking back through the still open doors and pressing the button for sub-level 21.
"We're just going to your lab Carter, don't worry."
"I wasn't worrying Sir," she replied as the doors pushed themselves closed.
The elevator started moving up when she realised that he hadn't yet let go of her elbow.
She looked across at him and then down at his hand and realised that even if the doors opened right now and their Commander and Chief was stood in front of them, she didn't want him to let go. The physical contact felt good – it felt like she had someone to ground her, to keep her sane and safe.
The elevator stopped and the doors opened; he still had hold of her and started walking, so she had no choice but to follow. She led her straight to her lab, the door of which was already open.
Gently pushing her in front of him, he turned and closed the door, locking it with his key card at the same time. Sam turned as he performed this last action.
"Sir? Why are you locking us in?" she asked quietly.
"Because Carter, you're going to talk. Now. About everything your feeling; everything you think you might feel."
Her eyes widened a little further before she turned away from him.
"There really isn't anything to talk about General, I'm fine…"
"Ahhh!" he interrupted. "Don't even try that line with me. You don't think I know when you're upset? For god sakes Carter you've quite clearly been crying and you think I'm going to blame you for that?"
He stopped and took a breath. If she didn't know any better, she would have said that he was almost angry with her.
"Carter, you're dad died. Don't even try and tell me that you're fine, good, ok, or anything else like that."
She dipped her head to look at the ground, which seemed a lot easier to do than turn and look him in the eye right at that moment.
She heard his footsteps on the concrete floor approaching her and knew that when he stopped he was right behind her. She turned slowly, but didn't look up.
"Sir, I can't do this right now. I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I just…can't. It's too soon for me to talk about. I just need to be able to sort things through in my head first. Please."
She heard him sigh and his torso rise and fall with the effort. She saw his arms rise from there position at his sides and then felt the warmth of his hands on her upper arms.
She forced her head up to look at him and the moment their eyes met he pulled her forward into him.
Sam wrapped her arms around his waist as his gripped her shoulders tightly and his left hand made its way into her hair and rubbed the top of her neck soothingly.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I had no right to order you to talk to me…"
"It's ok, Sir," she mumbled through his shoulder. "I understand you're just trying to look out for me."
She felt and heard him laugh gently.
"Carter, you know I always am."
She smiled into his black T-shirt and squeezed him a little to show him how much she appreciated him being there.
After only a minute or so she pulled herself back from him and looked him in the eye again.
"I broke up with Pete."
As he processed the words he looked genuinely shocked.
"Why?" he asked quietly.
"It's not because of my father, before you ask," she replied quickly. "Pete knows that isn't the reason too."
He nodded slowly. "Any chance of you letting me know what the real reason is?"
She smiled and he returned it.
"I will, Sir. I just need some time. Time to relax, get away from things here and get my thoughts in order… you know?"
"I know exactly what you mean Carter, and I have the perfect solution for you."
He grinned like a boy at that point and leant forward, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. He turned and walked to the door, unlocking it.
"Sir! What are you planning?"
"Fishing Cater! Get packing!"
Then he turned and left.
Sam had a very good feeling, not that everything was going to resolve itself quickly, but that eventually, with time, things would be ok.
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