Okay, people, I got the OK from Mistystream Sootfur's Loyalty to do this, so...here comes Lake-Cat Idol! Also, Firestar is Simon, Leopardstar is Paula, Onestar is Randy, and Blackstar is…(-leaves to mutter with Blackstar-) Never mind, Blackstar's gonna sing! The Moonpool is Hollywood. Some of the songs are changed to sound like cat words. Songs are shortened for…COMMON SENSE, PEOPLE!

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WILLOWPAW POV: THUNDERCLAN AUDITIONS

I flicked on the light switch, bathing the floor in bright lights. As I snatched up the mike, I watched the three judges file down the stands and into their seats. Firestar was looking around, bored; Leopardstar was filing her claws; and Onestar was combing his head fur to fall into his eyes. He dropped a shiny gold chain over his head that had ONESTAR: DA CAT written on a medallion.

"Hey guys," I meowed, walking over. "You ready for the show?"

"Always, dawg," Onestar said. "I mean, cat."

"Oh yes," exclaimed Leopardstar perkily. "I want to see who's making it to the Moonpool."

Firestar rolled his eyes. "It'll probably be a bunch of kits."

Leopardstar looked at him with a withering stare.

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"Hey everybody!" I meowed into the mike. "It's day 1 of the auditions, so let's see who'll make it!" The theme song played, and the first contestant walked into the building.

"Number…47," I said.

My jaw dropped open. It was, amazingly, Brightheart! The she-cat waved at me in a friendly way before turning to the judges.

"Hi Brightheart," mewed Leopardstar. "What will you be singing?"

She smiled prettily, wiggling her whiskers. "I'll be doing Complicated by Avril Lavigne-fur."

"Go for it, girl!" yelled Onestar.

She opened her mouth and sang:

"Uh huh
Life's like this
Uh huh
Uh huh
That's the way it is

Cause life's like this
Uh huh
Uh huh
That's the way it is

Chill out
What you yelling for?
Lay back
It's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

I like you the way you are
When we're walking on your border
And you're talking to me one-on-one
But you become

Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watching your back
Like you can't relax
You trying to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turn into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No, no, no

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're something else
Where you are and where it's at you see
You're making me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off
All your preppy fur
You know
You're not fooling anyone
When you become

Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watching your back
Like you can't relax
You trying to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turn into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No, no, no
no, no, no
No, no
no, no, no
No, no
no, no, no
No, no
"

I was blown away by her performance! She was amazing. "Firestar?" I asked.

He wrinkled his nose. "I hate every song by that artist," he snapped. "It was okay, though. Yes."

"YES!" shrieked Leopardstar. Onestar did the same, and tossed her a gold bracelet.

"Good luck!" I told Brightheart as I gave her the golden mouse-tail. She ran out screaming happily. Another contestant entered. "Number 12…and 11," I read uncertainly.

I felt my eyes grow wide. It was a duo—Foxkit and Icekit! They smiled innocently, flicking their tails. "We gonna sing—" started Foxkit.

"No," Firestar said flatly.

"Let them try, dawg!" said Onestar.

"We gonna sing," Icekit mewed, glaring at Firestar, "We Wanna Be Apprentices by me and Foxkit."

"Aww, they wrote their own song!" cooed Leopardstar. "Shoot, sweeties."

Foxkit began:

"Ferncloud says we're too young.

Dustpelt says we'll be good—but later!

Well to that I say fox dung!

If it's said once more, I'm gonna hate her!"

Icekit sang:

"It isn't fair. We wanna hunt!

It isn't fair. We wanna fight!

Dustpelt's voice is rough

He says, 'That isn't right.'"

They both crowed:

"We wanna be apprentices

We wanna be the best

We wanna be apprentices

Better than the rest!

We wanna be apprentices

We wanna be the best

We wanna be apprentices

Better than the rest!

Apprenticeeeeeeeeeesssss!"

The kits finished, positively glowing. Firestar was flipping through a magazine. "Firestar?" I prompted.

"No."

"Leopardstar?" She was nodding furiously and mopping up tears with a handkerchief.

"Onestar?"

"It's all good, dawg. All right!" He tossed them cool rings, which they fit on their wrists.

When I handed the kits their mouse-tails and they'd tied them to their rings, Ferncloud burst in, screaming. "I LOST FOXKIT AND ICEKIT!" Then her eyes fell on the golden tails. "My babies got into Lake-Cat Idol!"

She picked them up and took them away. "Number…30!" I called out. Brambleclaw waltzed in.

"Yo, sup?" he meowed. Onestar flashed him the peace sign.

"I'm gonna sing Fireproof, by Pillar-whisker." They all gave him the 'go'.

"Here's a chance to show you how I feel
A chance for you to see it's real
To see just what I feel inside and who it is that's by my side
I will never change my mind
Try to torch me and you'll find
You can't turn me or deter me
No matter how you try
You can't burn me

[Chorus
I know where I stand and what'll happen if you try it
I am FIREPROOF
I know my heart and I just can't deny it
I am FIREPROOF
I tried to tell you but you wouldn't be quiet
I am FIREPROOF
I'll never bow down and you won't buy it
I am FIREPROOF

Now you know what I'm all about
There's no chance I'll ever doubt
The only one who can control me
I extol the Almighty
You want me to put it on the line
And give yield to you this time
See but I won't compromise and I realize
It's my time to rise

[Chorus

You'll never take me in the fire
You'll never take my own desire…"

"Yes," said Firestar. "It was a terrible song, but your vocals will do well."

"No," said Leopardstar. "I'm sorry. Bad song, bad vocals. Sorry."

"I agree with Leo, dawg," Onestar meowed. "Sorry, dawg." Dejected, Brambleclaw walked out. Numbers 62, 37, and 98 were all horrible. But 64 (Ashfur) passed. The last one of the day was…Jaypaw!

"Willowpaw," he meowed.

"Jaypaw," I said back.

"I'll be singing Last Goodbye by Pillar-whisker." Hmm. Another Pillar-whisker. He began to sing in an amazing voice:

"I don't ever want to have to see you go
Cause I don't ever want to have to be alone
Little did I know I wasn't on my own
This is the only way I've found for me to show
Exactly how I feel as you go

I will never say, never say die
Forever and ever, I'll try
Got to get it right just between you and I
This could be the last goodbye
And I know that I will never, ever find
Another one-of-a-kind love redefined
Hold on tight to the one that lights your eyes
Cause every single day, we're running out of time
So I have got to find a way to show you how I feel

Got to get it right
Could this be, could this be the last goodbye?
"

"Yes!" Firestar yowled ecstatically. "The best performance all night."

"Oh, darling, yes!" Leopardstar meowed. "That was great."

"I felt it, dawg," approved Onestar.

"Great job, Jaypaw," I told him, giving him the tail.

"So, today, four contestants passed," I meowed into the camera. "But who will get by tomorrow? Find out on…Lake-Cat Idol!"

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IN STARCLAN

"Who was that pretty first contestant?" asked Lionheart, staring at the screen. Goldenflower, his sister, hit him with the remote.

"Brightheart, you mouse-brain. She's got a mate."

"DARN IT!"