Disclaimer: Like always I don't own anyone in the story.
Author's notes: When I refer to "him" I mean Matt Hardy. Also, this whole story is in Lita's POV.
It was there. Lying on the side of the sink was the perfectly sharp razor blade. In my hand was the carefully written note. I needed to do it. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to leave everything behind and never come back. Looking back on the past 2 years the only thing I could see was pain and suffering. They didn't understand the pain I felt. They all took his side because of his lies. And they would never know the truth until now.
I didn't mean to cause other people pain. Well, except for him of course. I just needed to get away. And only one person helped me get away. The world calls him Edge, but I call him my savior. But I haven't been doing him any good. And I haven't been doing myself any good. That's why I have to do what I'm doing.
I left the bathroom and entered the locker room, which was connected to the bathroom. I put the note on Edge's bag. Hopefully when he reads it he won't be mad at me. I don't want him to be mad. I walked back into the bathroom, still thinking about what has happened to me over the past years. I can remember the day like it was yesterday.
I had just come home from a long day of autograph signings and photo shoots. I was tired and all I wanted to do was come home and relax. I screamed out to him, and then waited for his response. But, all I heard was my voice echo across the room. It was hard to admit, but that's what I expected to hear. I walked up to our room, putting my bags on the floor randomly. As I opened the door I saw a sight I hoped I would never have to see. There he was, in bed with none other than Ashely. This broke my heart. It was true, in the last couple months we were drifting slowly out of love, but I would never think of him doing this to me. I stormed out of the room, and picked my bags back up from off the floor. I ran down stairs and opened the front door. I took one more look around. And what broke my heart the most was that there was no one chasing after me. He didn't care anymore. I slammed the door shut and never went back there again.
I shut the door behind me as I entered the bathroom. I looked over at the sink. There it was, shiny and silver. It was small. It didn't look like it held the power that it did. I skimmed my finger across the edge of the blade. I saw the blood trickle out of my finger. I just starred at the blood. It was actually kind of peaceful looking. It took my mind off of other things.
After I left him, I went to the person who I trusted the most. I went to Edge's house. He sat with me and listened to me cry all night. That's when he thought of the plan of me coming out to ringside with him. I thought it was perfect, until the rumors about the affair started up. But what I couldn't believe was that people actually believed them. But Edge stuck with me. He made me feel like I was important even after I had to go out and listen to the "Ho" and "slut" chants every night. Edge was my best friend. And still is.
I picked up the razor blade and held it in my hand. I used to be scared of death, but at that moment, it was what I wanted. I knew how to kill myself. Plan and simple. But I also knew how to make it hurt. I would never try to kill myself. The pain relaxed my mind. But today was different. I was going to go all the way.
I held the razor near my left wrist. I saw a little bit of my reflection thought the shiny metal. I slowly let the metal cut into my skin. The crimson blood came draining out. Then, I cut again, only deeper this time. The pain was overwhelming my arm. I put the razor in my left hand then cut my right wrist fast. The dark red blood was everywhere. I started to feel light headed and I dropped to the ground. I kept telling myself that this is what I wanted. Over and over again in my head. But, I just kept hearing the voice of a certain person. The southern accent was interrupting my thoughts. I struggled to open my eyes. I felt someone lift me off the ground and wrap my wrists in towels. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him that it was too late. I was going to die. I tried to concentrate on the voice. All the words seemed too familiar.
"Ames, come on Ames. Hang in there. Please Ames don't give up now," he said.
He was really trying. I could tell. I felt bad that I would put him through so much trouble. I felt myself slipping into death. I used all my strength to get my arm to my pocket. He put his hand into my pocket, only to find a note. I saw the tears come out of his eyes as I started to let go of my life. Then I could see that he really cared. Because he was my real savoir. He was the real person who was my best friend. He was also the real person that was my fiancé. Once he read his note he would understand everything. At least, that's what I was telling myself. Little did I know, he already understood. Because Jeff Hardy understood everything.