Four Years ago I posted a story entitled, "Bill Nye the Science Guy VS Barney". After a year or so I completely forgot about it until recently. I want to remind you I was barely thirteen years old hence why it was so ... well, crappy with grammer. I realised though that people like morbid comedy and after four years of the demand of another story I have finally broke down and started writing my new story. Once again it stars Bill Nye and after watching many hours of Disney channel and PBS have come down with a new victim, or should I say, Victims. Bill Vs. The wiggles
Not contempt with Barney, Bill sat alone surfing through television channels in search of his new prey. Teletubbies...no, Hannah Montana...maybe, but suddenly as his search was nearing the end he caught glimpse of four bright colors, red, blue, yellow, and purple. Bill knew he found what he was looking for, The Wiggles. He sat and watched the episode for the full half hour as his devious plot began to unfold in his mind.
"At last, after my long search I've found them...They're all out to corrupt the children! That's why I'm here, muahahahaha" Bill smurked to himself.
Bill began to thoroughly go through his plan until he came to the conclusion, "the wiggles live in Australia" He began surfing the web to purchase cheap cheap CHEAP tickets since he was such a cheap cheap CHEAP man. The plan was set, the ticket was bought, and Bill was on his way to meet The Wiggles.
As Bill aproached the studio a mob of toddler girls jumped and screamed for joy as the four Australian teeniebopper men sensations exited the building. Bill couldn't just walk up to them, NO, he had to get in...the science way!
Luckily, Bill brought his "science in a box" kit as any good scientist does. He quickely put sugar, spice, and everything nice, (but no chemical X) and a dash of Metabolic acid in a beaker and downed it in one gulp instantly changing him from the old fourty year old man to a six year old screaming girl.
"This is perfect, now I can go in and out without anyone even knowing"
The wiggles finished filming an episode and that was when Bill knew to make his move, he slowly inched his way to the dressing room door. In waltzed "Bill-erina" Who only minutes of entering the room, the potion wore off and he was back to his regular self. The Wiggles each jumped to their feet.
"YOU! you were the one who took out the purple dinosaur!!!" Anthony the Blue wiggle wailed.
"I sure did, and do you know why? It's because he didn't teach children...he brainwashed them, just like you are with your tunes and melodic beats!!!" Bill urged on, "we can do this the easy way...or I'll introduce you ton Barney's best friend, the Lead Head."
In a matter of seconds the Wiggles changed from calm old singing men to the Mighty morphing power rangers, except for Jeff the purple wiggle because there is no such thing as a purple power RANGER!!!
"...Oh crud" Bill stared into their gleaming helmets knowing his end was near.
Up jumped the Blue ranger in a fury of blazing blue light as he came down on Bill with a mind blowing karate chop, fortunetly missing Bill by a matter of inches. Bill jumped back to his feet delivering a fatal blow to the yellow ranger's epidermis.
"You see boy and girl's the epidermis is the outer layer of skin and what is coming out is known as hemoglobin or blood" Bill said as he faced the bleeding Wiggle. "one down, three to go".
Bill meant some serious business, he'd been saving his machinery for a special occasion and this was a good enough time than ever. Out came an AK-47 that he pointed at the middle Wiggle
"There's a red, blue, and purple wiggle ranger, but in a second i'm gonna make three red Wiggles" chuckeled the mad Nye.
BOOM three wiggles
Bill blew the smoke of his gun and took the next plane back to America. Shortly afterwards Captain Feathersword entered the room of the massacre and took his life with his own feathersword.
[[ next on Bill Nye the science guy: Bill talks about mixing colors, blue, yellow, purple and of course...RED
Once again I'm sorry if this story offended you, if it did you shoudln't be reading it or you are too young to understand it's value, but you gotta admit, I bet you feel pretty dang good right about now!!!