Sequel to "The Phone that Always Rings" by Ten Story
Summary: Kowaru begins his attack on Nerv. Will Shinji be able to talk him out of destroying himself or will he discover that fate is unalterable?
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva, blah blah blah. This is just me venting my frustrations directed towards my favorite yaoi couple of all time.
NOTE TO ALL OBSESSIVE FANS: Yes, I know Kowaru is a little different here. I'm experimenting. Hopefully you will like it and not throw flames at me XD
Kaworu lay in Shinji's bed, playfully kicking his feet back and forth in the air as he watched Shinji surf the internet on his brand new computer. Misato had just bought it for him for his last birthday, and he was still getting used to it. The sunlight streamed through the window delicately as the sun rose over Tokyo 3, brightening the sky to a pastel blue and pink. In the bathroom they could hear Asuka taking her shower and humming off-key as she always did, and Pen Pen impatiently waiting for his turn outside the door. Misato was snoring so loudly they could hear it from across the apartment.
"There's so much to do on the internet. It's really amazing, isn't it?" Shinji said innocently, trying his best not to look over at Kowaru. The silver-haired boy had not bothered to dress himself yet, though they only had thirty minutes or so before they needed to leave for school. Kowaru was smiling devilishly, seeing the blush on Shinji's face brighten while he stood up and walked over to kiss his neck, completely exposing himself to Shinji. They had been together for over a year, but still Shinji blushed at the smallest things. Kowaru supposed he always would, which made him all the more irresistible.
"Kowaru kun…please…we need to get ready for school…"
"Then it's the perfect time for a quick one…"
"Kowaru kun! You're the one that insisted I look this up now!"
He gestured wildly to the internet screen, which read in Kanji 'Online sex toys.'
"Ah, but Shinji kun, you were the one that expressed you wanted to find some new games to play…"
Gently he nipped at Shinji's earlobe, causing Shinji to moan quietly under his breath.
"And besides, I'll be gone all night tonight for Ritsuko san's test and I want to make sure you'll have something to keep you company."
"You don't have to remind me…" Shinji pouted.
Kowaru grinned. "Ah, look at that one, Shinji kun." he pointed to a large dildo on the screen. Slowly he cupped his hand over Shinji's cock and whispered, "Is that one big enough for you?"
His skin practically the color of the red bed sheets tangled on the floor, Shinji bravely whispered back, "You know nothing will satisfy me…like you do."
Kowaru grinned and lowered himself between Shinji's legs, spreading them out quickly and unzipping his trousers. Sinfully he played with the boy's expanding cock, licking his fingers and massaging the tip and underside. Shinji gasped and clawed his back, biting his lips and turning them white.
"I still don't understand…ngh…why she wants only you to spend the night at Nerv…why can't I go with you?"
"Because it's a sleep monitoring test and if we were together, love, we wouldn't sleep at all."
Despite his uncontrollable arousal, Shinji laughed and covered his eyes.
Kowaru nodded. He knew the moment the word escaped Shinji's lips what he wanted, but some part of him loved torturing his lover. "Please what?"
"I want you…inside…"
Almost violently Kowaru stood Shinji up and slammed him against the wall, ripping his pants down and firmly stroking his erection. Lately they had been enjoying playing out more violent scenarios, pulling hair and viciously taking one another in the dark. Shinji spread his palms out over the wall, arching his hips up to angle himself more invitingly for Kowaru.
Kowaru forced himself inside Shinji, wildly bucking his hips to move as fast as he could. Shinji clamped his teeth down on his arm, desperately trying to hush his voice, even as the overwhelming pain and pleasure made him practically blind to everything else.
After a few minutes Kowaru pushed Shinji over to lean against the back of the chair so he wouldn't need to lift his hips up so much. This provided them the perfect angle and together they gasped for breath, their chests heaving.
BANG BANG BANG!
"Shinji baka!! Why aren't you cooking breakfast!? It's almost time to go! We're going to go to school without eating if you don't start now!"
Aggressively twisting Shinji's left nipple, Kowaru smiled and pulled Shinji's hair, savagely whispering into his ear:
"If you don't want Asuka san to hear you, Shinji kun, do your best."
To help him, Kowaru quickly clamped a hand over Shinji's mouth. It was just in time - the boy came all over the carpet, the chair and the tangled bed sheets. Kowaru was not far behind. Quietly he clenched his teeth and felt himself coat the inside of Shinji, and soon the two fell down on the bed in a mess of sticky cum and slick sweat.
"SHINJI BAKA!!" Asuka screamed. "WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE! COME OUT OF THERE NOW!!"
Shinji's eyes snapped open and he tried to leap out of bed, but Kowaru would not let go of him.
"Go on without us, Asuka san!" He called out. "We'll meet you there."
Asuka indignantly scoffed at the door and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the front door behind her. Kowaru squeezed Shinji tightly and buried his face between his shoulder blades. The sudden affectionate nature of the embrace suddenly made Shinji alarmed. He tried to turn around and look at Kowaru but Kowaru would not let go of him.
"Kowaru kun…are you okay? …Is there something the matter?" he asked with a note of concern in his voice. Kowaru was shaking now and genuinely frightening Shinji - finally he squeezed free and pulled Kowaru's face up to his, revealing that he was crying.
"What's going on? Talk to me." he begged, caressing his face gently. Kowaru smiled through his tears and kissed Shinji's forehead.
"Nothing. Just…give me a few more minutes here with you. Even if we're late for school."
"Of course." He answered. But the fear he felt in his gut wasn't going away. It wasn't like Kowaru to cry about anything or seem so sad. Always he seemed so confident. Always he was a pillar of strength.
"Kowaru kun…you would tell me if something was bothering you, wouldn't you? I mean, I'm always leaning on you all the time, but you never--"
"I don't want to ever hide anything from you, Shinji kun." Kowaru confessed. Shinji smiled, lightly kissing him and putting his head against his chest.
"I trust you, Kowaru kun."
Kowaru bit his lip and sighed. "And I you, Shinji kun."
The moment they arrived at school was when things began to change. Kowaru suddenly became distant and wouldn't respond when Shinji asked him a question. When Shinji tried to pass the usual notes to him as the teacher droned on yet again about Second Impact (in case the class had not been listening the first hundred thousand times), Kowaru stared out the window. At lunch time Kowaru sat by himself, not offering an explanation why. Even after school on their way to Nerv headquarters, Shinji hung back to match Kowaru's leisurely pace, but when he tried to take Kowaru's hand or talk to him, Kowaru would pull away gently and say nothing.
The two were certainly past the point in their relationship where Shinji worried about the solidity of Kowaru's feelings towards him, but then again Kowaru never acted like this. Perhaps he had grown tired of him? No…Kowaru always said he would never leave him. It was ridiculous to have such thoughts…
But Shinji wasn't strong enough to dismiss the thoughts that easily. He felt as if someone were slowly strangling him, simultaneously grasping his heart and squeezing it until it seemed that it would burst. Every time Kowaru averted his eyes from Shinji, all the air rushed out of his lungs and they seemed to forget how to breathe. Each and every moment he desperately asked himself what he should do, how could he help…but he had no answers for himself.
By the time the routine synch test was in full motion, Shinji was on the brink of tears. There was no improvement in Kowaru's mood. While the rest of the pilots were concentrating with their eyes shut, Shinji stared at the tiny digital picture of Kowaru on his monitor, once again feeling his breath escape him. Ritsuko and Misato whispered to one another, and then ended the test.
Ritsuko called a meeting for all the pilots in the break room.
"Alright everyone, good work today." She said. "Now, orders of business are…let's see…there will be a special endurance test next Wednesday. Also Asuka chan - I wanted to let you know that, not counting Kowaru of course, you scored the highest on the last synch test. Congratulations!"
Asuka smiled triumphantly while the other pilots clapped, albeit not so enthusiastically. Briefly her fiery stare stopped on Kowaru, whom she gave an angry sneer. Kowaru just smiled.
"And let's see, what else…" Ritsuko continued. "Ah, yes. Kowaru kun, did you bring all your things you will need to stay overnight?"
"Yes, Ritsuko san." he replied.
"Why does Kowaru kun need to take the test, and not the rest of us?" Shinji pleaded. "I don't think he feels well. Could we postpone it, Ritsuko san?"
"No Shinji kun. I'm fine." Kowaru interjected. Asuka stuck her tongue out at the distraught, affectionate glance Shinji gave the boy, but Kowaru bored a hole with his red eyes through the floor, looking somewhat ashamed for the first time Shinji could remember. Rei watched them both very closely with her usual blank face.
"As I've explained to you several times Shinji kun…we need Kowaru kun for…various reasons." Ritsuko said. "Don't worry. Everything is fine. Now everyone hit the locker room and change. We'll see you back here Wednesday."
Slowly the four of them walked back to the locker room. In the hallway Misato briefly walked past Shinji; when no one was looking she gently took his arm and brought him to the side.
"You alright, Shinji kun? You seemed to have something on your mind during the test."
"I'm sorry…" he offered immediately. "Were my scores that terrible? I'll do better next time, I promise."
Misato sighed. "No, it's not that. That doesn't matter, Shinji-kun; we know what your usual scores are and you're just having a tough day. Just…let me know if I can help, alright?"
Shinji nodded blankly. "Hai, Misato san."
As he walked away, Misato looked upwards and cursed. "What am I going to do with that one?"
When Shinji arrived in the locker room, Kowaru did not greet him.
"Congratulations on doing so well on the test, as always Kowaru kun." he said softly. He leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, but as he expected, the boy pulled away. After he walked into the showers Shinji flopped down on a bench, his head in his hands. At long last he looked up and around him, his eyes moist and his lips quivering. Everywhere in this locker room he saw places where they had made memories, and they flashed before him, making him even more distraught. When no one was around they had claimed the space for their own, kissing and touching and taking time to worship each other…
So why was this happening? Why was Kowaru acting like this? And it was so abrupt - just this morning everything had been fine…
Quietly he approached the shower curtain, raising his fingertips and deciding whether or not to enter Kowaru's stall. But in the end he didn't; he turned away and began changing himself.
After the four pilots were finished, Rei, Asuka and Shinji got on the elevator to leave while Kowaru saw them off. He waved nonchalantly to them with an apathetic smile. There was no emotion in the gesture - none whatsoever.
"Good night, Kowaru kun." Shinji called out, practically shaking.
"Good night, Shinji kun." Kowaru replied. Then he turned and walked away with Ritsuko, disappearing from Shinji's sight.
Rei watched him but said nothing.
Asuka sneered at Shinji. "Stop moping, baka. You'll see your 'bestest buddy in the whole world' tomorrow." She said in a mocking tone.
Shinji was not listening. The choking feeling had returned; he put his hands up to his neck and struggled to breathe in his desperation. Right before the elevator doors closed his feet carried him forward, slamming his body against the metal and prying it open with his fingertips.
He found himself running, running…he had to catch up, he had to…
"Kowaru…kun…" he panted. Ritsuko and Kowaru stopped and turned while Shinji leaned against the corner of a wall, trying to catch his breath.
Ritsuko half-smiled and bowed her head in greeting to Shinji. "I'll wait downstairs for you, Kowaru kun." she said.
"Oh, hai, Ritsuko san." the boy replied. He watched her step on the escalator and disappear.
"Yes, Shinji kun?" Kowaru asked.
"Kowaru kun. I want you to have something. It's a gift." Shinji answered. He reached into his backpack and began wildly digging.
"A gift?" Kowaru said.
"It's always kept me company whenever I'm alone…" Carefully he lifted out a tiny black box with a pair of earphones attached. Kowaru marveled at it.
"Shinji kun…your SDAT player? But I…"
"I want it to keep you company while you're alone tonight…" Shinji interrupted. He smiled and put it in Kowaru's hands, closing his fingers around it. "And from now on, you should have it wherever you go, so you'll always have some of me with you."
"But this…it's your most precious thing in the world. You take it with you everywhere. You love this…"
"But Kowaru kun…I love you."
The confession was a quiet one, almost taken away by the blast of the air conditioning in the halls and the hum of the fluorescent lights above. Yet it still reached Kowaru, and his eyes filled with tears as he pushed Shinji against the wall and kissed him with all the passion he could muster.
Shinji savagely grabbed Kowaru back, squeezing his hips and driving his tongue into his mouth, wanting so much more than a kiss could give. They cried together as their kiss ended, their foreheads pushed together and their arms wantonly wrapped around one another.
"Please tell me what's wrong…" Shinji whispered.
Kowaru looked at him. In that moment Shinji could see the battle raging in his eyes - the desire to say all and the force that was keeping the words at bay. But at long last the force had won; Kowaru smiled and said quietly, "Everything is fine, Shinji kun."
"Kowaru kun…it's time to go." Ritsuko called as she reappeared at the top of the escalator once more. Kowaru nodded at her and let go of Shinji. He did not look back and Shinji could think of nothing else to say.
When Shinji emerged from the elevator and stepped onto the street, he saw Rei waiting at the bus stop. He sat down next to her.
"She left already."
"Oh." Shinji said sadly. Some part of him was desperate for company, even if it was Asuka's. This was one night he didn't want to be alone.
Rei's bus arrived but she did not move to get up. Shinji noticed gratefully and asked her quietly:
"Ayanami…would you walk with me?"
"If you want." she replied blankly.
The two strolled on the sidewalk to the inner part of the city where Misato's apartment was located.
"Ayanami, can I talk to you about something?"
"If you want." she said again.
"Do you think something is wrong with Kowaru kun? He was really distant today."
"He might want his space."
Space? Shinji thought. He's never needed it before…why would he start now?
"In any case, don't trust him."
Shinji looked up at her sadly. "You don't trust him, Ayanami?"
"No. It's foolish to trust anyone so easily, unless you want to get hurt."
They reached the crossroads where they needed to part ways. Rei turned to him for only a moment before heading off towards her home.
"He's dangerous, Ikari. If you don't want to get hurt…stay away."
She left him alone then in the street lamp light as he watched her go. Then he plopped down on a bench nearby and stared upwards at the sky.
"Kowaru kun…what is going through your mind?"