The story to follow is inspired by the film Becoming Jane. This fiction revolves around Tom Lefroy. It takes place after the failed elopement between Tom and Jane. Tom is currently engaged to Mary Paul.
Fantasy & Responsibility
The window was encircled with frost and let in the cold January draft. Each monotonous exhale added a misty fog to the glass. Beyond the window the world seemed to lay in a timeless frozen hibernation. The nights were slowly growing longer as day continually turned to night in an endless parade of empty tomorrows. Thomas placed his shivering fingers on the frozen pane of glass. He mindlessly traced the frosty surface with his fingertips. With each successive finger wipe, an increasing view of the frigid Irish countryside was revealed. But Thomas was uninterested in the panorama on display beyond the glass. He was not enjoying the touch of the cool glass under his fingers or the soft velvet cushion on which he sat. The only thing that Thomas could feel or think about was the dull ache in his head and the sharp pain in his chest. He felt more hollow and frozen than the scene that was displayed beyond his gaze. His mind was dizzy and spinning with an endless string of pointed thoughts.
Thomas felt that he was at war with the conflicting thoughts that resided in his mind. He could not sleep, read or think clearly without the pressuring influence of his heavy mind. He tried to distract himself by entertaining friends, staying out late and drinking a little more than he should. But no matter how hard he tried; he could not shake the heavy burden that sat firmly upon him. He felt as if he was occupying an increasingly smaller place, one that was constantly sandwiched between fantasy and reality. He was currently living in the dull morning light of reality, or at least trying to do so, anyway. He was trying to keep his mind focused on his duties to his job, and his family. He was trying to convince himself that he was being gallant by being the responsible one. However, Thomas had never felt less gallant or focused. He felt more as though he was horse dung that was smeared along the road by a passing parade of elephants.
Every morning Thomas had to force himself to awaken and pry himself out of his warm bed. Each new dawn he had to consciously choose to face the reality that the morning light would bring, and leave behind the comfort and warmth of his dream world. A fantasy land that was occupied by a beautiful young maiden and in which love conquered all. He knew that growing up, being ethical and responsible meant that he was meant to leave his daydreams behind. However, he also didn't think that he could survive the harsh light of reality without the soft, luxurious pillow of fantasy to lull him to sleep each night.