Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I just like playing with JKR's toys.

How many is it now?

'They're fighting again,' Sirius moaned.

'Are they being violent?' Remus didn't even look up from his work to answer, 'I don't know if it counts as fighting if there isn't any violence.'

'I dunno… Lily's making some pretty violent gestures.' He winced nervously as he glanced over his shoulder.

'Is anything being damaged?' Moony seemed to consider something before adding, 'physically, I mean.'

'Well,' Sirius began listing objects, counting them off on his fingers, 'the books, the carpet, the sofa,' he grimaced at the sound of breaking china, 'and the water jug.'

'Anything living.'

Sirius slumped in his chair. 'Oh, I don't know! They're arguing, sorting out a disagreement, having a discussion. A noisy one at that. Honestly, you would have thought they'd have the decency to warn us, let us get out of ear shot before they started to scream at each other.'

'Quite.' Remus began to tidy his books away. 'What's he done this time?'

Sirius faked an indignant expression. 'Lily and James are having a … disagreement… and you automatically assume that he is the cause?' he gave an overly-dramatic sigh.

'That's cause he's always the cause. Lily wouldn't go anywhere near him unless he started it first.' The friends ducked as a cop of Numerology and Grammatica collided with the wall above their heads. They straightened as though nothing had happened. Sirius was frowning.

'Y'know, I think you might have a point there…'

'Well? Did he ask her out again?' Remus glanced at the warring teenagers, grinning slightly.

'Of course!'

'How many times is it now?'

'Pete said something about it being the two-hundred-and-seventy-first time.'

'Nah. It's gotta be more than that. I lost count at forty and that was only after the first month he started. So, let's say he's asked her out once a day. That's … three-hundred-and-sixty-five times in a year-'

'Yeah, but what about the holidays? Prongsie boy doesn't ask her out every single day, just every day we're at school.'

'But sometimes he asks her out more than once a day. It'll all average out the same.'

'OK,' Sirius conceded the point to his friend. 'So that's three-hundred-and-sixty-five times for the last … hmm …' he counted the years off on his fingers. 'Fourth year… fifth year… sixth year… three years. So…'

Remus made a note on a spare piece of parchment. 'Hmm… that's one-thousand-one-hundred-and-twenty-five times old Prongsie has asked Lily Evans out in the last three years.'

'And she hasn't said yes yet.' Sirius leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

'No,' Remus sighed, 'Do you think he's going to give up any time soon?'


'Me neither.'

And the two friends sat back to enjoy the tirade of insults floating towards them across the common room.

A/N: I was trying to work out how many times James had asked Lily to go out with him (yes, I know, I have no life) and I decided to make it into a story. Here it is! Read and Review! There's a cookie in it for the first one ; )