Stupid Chevaliers, Stupider Diva

Diva may love her "Children" who serve her, but sometimes she found them annoying.

Like how Solomon tries to "reason" with her by denying her what she wants. That isn't why she made him immortal. When she asks for something, she should get it within the time it takes her to make the request. If she doesn't get it in that time, she'll sit in a tree and not talk till she does.

She could swear last time Solomon had muttered something about her being a "petulant child" or some such nonsense. She knew she was perfect.

Then there's Amshel, oh wonderful, wonderful, oh-so-fucking-annoying-as-Riku-being-gone-for-a-whole-day Amshel! How he pretends to "love" and "care" for her, while he slices her open to see what happens when he removes her kidneys. How he says he will "do her bidding" when he won't let her do what she wants!

Amshel was Diva's largest, and only, mistake. Nobody could tell her how she had made other mistakes, because she was perfect.

Karl. Oh what could she say about Karl. Apart from the fact that he's crazy as a monkey on a pogo stick being skull-raped by a moose while reading Dianetics! Diva hated it when people would say, "well you two must get along great, being so alike". Diva was NOTHING like Karl. She was spontaneous, and when she did something, she had every move planned out.

She never, NEVER, left anything to chance. She always won in the end.

Nathan, the chevalier who she knew wasn't gay. No matter how flamboyant his clothes were, no matter how he called her "sweetie" not "Mother", no matter how he called everything good, "fabulous", and no matter how many times he eyed Haji, Diva knew for a fact that Nathan was straight.

Diva was almost sure being a chiropteran gave her a gay-dar.

Haji. Yay. Just the mention of his name makes one all exited doesn't it? How he never seems to use any expression. How he always talks like this. You know, in a monotone voice. The one that just makes you want to sit down in a chair and listen to a story about the 30s.

Aw, FUCK IT! Diva doesn't have the time, or the fortitude to talk like that anymore.

But then there's Riku. Sweet, sweet, gorgeous, magnificent Riku. He is the one chevalier that Diva can tolerate for an extended period of time. She loves him no matter how much she's supposed to hate him. She should be trying to kill him, but she'd much rather sleep with him.

See? Flawless Diva-logic.

Her chevaliers may be annoying, but they are her family. Riku is her husband. END-OF-ARGUMENT!