A/N: Finally! This chapter finishes PS, so the next one should begin CoS.
Disclaimer: Besides the obvious, there are some references to things not mine. Snape is apparently familiar with classic movies.
Eating: cheese and mushrooms
Ok, so, I just decided to do something stupid. Something Stupid agreeing to ref the upcoming Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff game. Reasons That Was Stupid I hate Gryffindor. Gryffindor hates me. Oh, yeah, and Quirrel might get suspicious.
In other news, I don't really care.
One Possible Good Outcome I could kill Potter Brat II and maybe get away with it. I mean, a little highly explosive broom wax couldn't really be traced to its source, after all.
clean nasty ref robes
buy broom handle wax
Entry: find it yourself
Listening To: some weird Mexican Rap radio station
Hufflepuff lost. ARGGGGGHGHGHGHGH! Hmmm…exactly how would someone make that sound, I wonder? Anyway, Quirrel was all twitchy in the forest afterwards. I asked him about getting past "Fluffy" and he just (surprise!) stuttered. My God, it surprises me where he got the guts to try for the Stone, anyway. Hold on…………..crap. Not good.
You know what, REALLY killing Quirrel might not be so bad an idea, after all.
take a wild guess
Entry: over the rainbow
Listening To: Girlfriend
In the name of science. All in the name of science. Because doxy wings monkshood ? Ooh, look, a pink acromantula! Pretty.
Entry: never again
Mood: um…that's what she said
Turns out that the fumes from a potion of doxy wings and monkshood should never be inhaled. Ever.
And now, as they say, for something completely different.
Well, I have lately been tormenting Potter Brat II, freaking Weasley #6 out, and mocking the Granger Know-it-all. And I've been contemplating Quirrel. Dumby is usually not interested in hearing my protests against the Turbinator, but may perk up slightly upon my proclamation that Quirrel is probably a follower of Moldy Voldy. I have come to the conclusion thus:Reasons That Quirrel is A Dark Lord Hugger
spent the summer in Albania
wears that smelly turban all the time (LV could be possessing him, after all)
gets all twitchy when I mention picking sides
tried to kill Potter Brat II
tried to get past Cerberus' little cousin on the third floor
I hate him (oh wait…)
I shall present this extremely convincing argument to the Master Head momentarily…
write up another (11th revision!) copy of my resume for DADA teacher
Entry: the Veil
Mood: some word that means ashamed/irritated/embarrassed/pissed off
Listening to: Frozen by Within Temptation
Ok, so Master Head Dumby already knew that Quirrel was LV's personal human-shaped container. Great. Severus Snape gets another chance to look like a total noob. Woo hoo.
And yet, you'd think he'd do something about it. Oh no. No no no. Turns out my 11th revision resume was preemptive. Dumby is STILL keeping Quirrel as a teacher! Ok, look, bringing my resume to the meeting probably didn't win me any points, but I'm still clearly a better teacher—I mean, I don't follow Voldemort.
Mood: irrational (HARHAR)
Drinking: covertly, from my flask
Listening to: Photograph by Nickleback
Today is the Annual Prefect Choosing Meeting. Given that this year's prefects are twats, I thought I should attend.
Opinions On the Kids Who Have Been Chosen As New Prefects For Next Year (Never Mind This Year's Who Will Repeat)
Slytherin Boy: Emil Clark (Who IS this kid?)
Slytherin Girl: Courtney Gable (Clark…Gable. Should I be amused?)
Ravenclaw Boy: Jerry Korenchan (nice name—for a nerd)
Ravenclaw Girl: Penelope Clearwater (is she longsuffering?)
Hufflepuff Boy: George Hardison (another amusing name)
Hufflepuff Girl: Amanda Clarence (does she have her wings?)
Gryffindor Boy: Apollo Maragos (some Greek geek)
Gryffindor Girl: Sheila Bridges (ugly)
Well, that was strange. Hm….how else to waste (I mean, use productively) time at this stupid meeting….Opinions On This Year's Prefects Who Will Be Prefect Again Next Year
Slytherin Boy: Terrence Higgs (decent kid but plays Quidditch seeker and kind of cough sucks)
Slytherin Girl: Maryann Wilson (innocuous)
Ravenclaw Boy: Alex Korenchan (it must run in the family)
Ravenclaw Girl: Amy Haggis (yum)
Hufflepuff Boy: Ivanho Georges (I kid you not)
Hufflepuff Girl: Rowena Lee (these two are meant for each other, clearly)
Gryffindor Boy: Percy Weasley (a.k.a. Weasley #3, obnoxious)
Gryffindor Girl: Valentina Larson (um….)
Ok, that's enough.
Entry: the wardrobe
Listening to: my jaw drop onto the floor
Well. Today has been eventful, to say the least.
Weirdness went unnoticed by me even though Quirrel was all eye-twitchy at dinner and I ran into Potter Brat II, Weasley #6, and the Granger Know-it-all muttering about 'tonight' and 'Snape.' I freaked them out with some insinuations about nighttime wanderings (and their faces pretty much proved that I am right—Potter inherited his bigheaded daddy's predilection for breaking curfew) and sent them outside.
The next thing I know about oddness is Dumby calling a middle-of-the-#$&-night teacher meeting. Apparently Quirrel did try for the Stone, Potter (and his sidekicks) went after him and got through the 'tasks' (they must not be that hard if some first years can beat them—bet it was Granger who got my potions-logic problem correct), and Potter ended up with the Stone. Dumby arrived just in time, Quirrel is dead (YESSSSSSSSS!), la de da de da the happy ending. Oh yeah, and Voldy is still floating around body-less somewhere. Yuk.
Mood: The ship will experience a few minutes of turbulence and then…. explode.
Drinking: Strawberry milk
Listening to: Chameleon
Another year through. THANK GOD! THANK YOU SO BLOODY MUCH! shakes fist at ceiling
Gryffindor won the House Cup. Well, technically, Slytherin did, but Master Head Dumby decided to be all over dramatic and gave extra points to Gryffindor at the last second. 50 to Granger for being a Know-it-all, 50 to Weasley #6 for some twat or other, 60 to Potter Brat II for rushing headfirst into danger, and 10 to Longbottom-the-witless-wonder for getting petrified on the floor in his PJs. Wow, congratulations.
But to focus on the more important point: QUIRREL IS GONE! So resume revision 11 is really going into effect. Tomorrow. On Dumby's desk. And his door. And in his breakfast porridge for good measure.
Official Summer To Do List:
become DADA teacher by September 1st
ensure that Potter will not return
charm potions ingredients bottles to be unbreakable
usual protections against the Terror Twins from Hell and their annual welcome back prank on Snape
find Quirrel's old turbans and burn them
fill Trelawny's favorite crystal ball with fog-charm (eh heh heh)
listen to Chameleon a lot
Wilddog14- oh yes, washing robes for swoop-age is incredibly exciting!
MatoakaWilde-yeah, he is, isn't he? Oh Snape…what would we do with your cruel sense of humor
StoogegirlSilva- Thanks! Well, the shampoo is supposed to be a running joke. Like the reason his hair's so greasy is that he keep forgetting to buy shampoo. I guess he doesn't make it because he's too lazy.
Khajmer- Yay! Food! I'm currently starving…definitely should have eaten more dinner…eh. Hm…I might take forever to even get to HBP and DH and if I do get there, I'm not sure how to make them funny! I mean, those books are mucho depressing for Snape…ah well, we'll see….
Evangelyne- Thanks so muchly! I'm trying not to repeat any 'entry's but…it's getting harder! My favorite is Entry: not permitted. Heh