February 8- Criminal Minds, Derek Morgan/Penelope Garcia: domestication - a pint of ice cream

Penelope had never considered herself the "typical" girly girl. Sure, she liked to dress pretty and do her hair, but she also liked sarcasm, poker, and online RPGs.

Still, in one way, she was very typical—she loved to eat ice cream when she was depressed.

Or when he boyfriend did something stupid.

Now, before Derek there weren't many boyfriends (just boys, men, whatever that turned her down and made her feel like crap), but now there was Derek and he was probably still off dancing with that…that…coat rack that was trying to pass as a woman.

Irritated and sad all over again she shoved more ice cream into her mouth. Thank the gods for double fudge brownie.

The bang on her door startled her, and she was halfway to the phone when she heard his voice, "Pen, baby girl, open the door."

She sighed, setting down her ice cream and moving over to the door. She looked out of the peephole and saw him, anxious and fidgeting. She was glad, Derek never fidgeted and he should, he deserved it.

"What do you want?" she yelled at the door, wanting to kick it, or him.

"Pen, let me in, please sweetheart. Let me explain."

"I don't want to hear it. Just go back to the much prettier than me blonde. If you hurry you can probably still get some before she passes from all the booze."

"Penelope, I don't want that girl. I only want you."

"Then why were you dancing with her like that. You were practically having sex on the floor. And I had to sit there and watch and…"

"I'm so sorry. I was talking to Prentiss and the girl she just came up to me. She asked me to dance, I turned her down, and Prentiss just stared at me. I know how you wanted to wait to tell everyone. You didn't even tell JJ, so I knew it was important to you and…I didn't want to blow our cover. I figured I could dance with her before you got back from the bathroom. I never meant for you to see, or for you to be hurt. I love you Penelope, you know that."

She felt herself starting to cave and reached for her ice cream. She took a big bite and counted to ten, "Are you sure you didn't like that girl? Even a little bit? She had really big breasts."

She heard him groan through the door, "Not nearly as nice as yours baby girl, besides you know I like the real think. I don't like my women plastic. I don't like my women anyway but Penelope Garcia shaped."

She giggled despite herself and reached for the lock. As she opened it she clutched the ice cream to her as a final defense, "Penelope shaped?"

He smiled, "you know it gorgeous. Of course there is one thing better than a Penelope shaped baby girl."

"What's that?" she asked, moving to let him in.

He grabbed the ice cream for her and took a big bite of his own, "An ice cream covered Penelope Garcia."

She shivered and hurried to lock the door, "That ice cream's going to melt soon."

"Well then," he said as he pulled her closer, "I better start…eating it."

As he pulled her towards her bed, she thought from now on ice cream was going to be strictly a happy treat.

Ala Derek Morgan.