2/18/08-Update: Sequel added in James' POV: Reality


I bet you all think I'm some cold-hearted bitch, right? That's what most people believe, at least. It's the reputation I've earned myself, and I'm not proud of it. It's not really true, you know. If you people would actually listen to me instead of those Merlin-damned Marauders, you'd know the full story. I guess it's half my fault though. I haven't actually been the best at sharing my feelings, so I don't completely blame you.

First off, I don't hate James Potter. I never have. Actually, I like him a bit too much. Weird, huh? But it'll all make sense soon, I promise. See, I've had a crush on James for…well, since first year. But back then, he wasn't interested in me. No, eleven-year-old James was more preoccupied with what my hair looked like dipped in ink than in how great of a couple we could be. Same with twelve-year-old James, and even thirteen-year-old James. It wasn't until fourth year that James showed any interest in me. And then, he was almost mean with the way he 'expressed his affection'. He practically ordered me to go out with him, and no self-respecting teenage girl would allow that git to date her. So I rejected him.

And after that, it kind of became a routine thing. James would ask me out, and I would coolly reject him. It became a game, something neither of us ever really thought about. He asked me out a few times a day, as casually as someone asking to 'pass the butter'. I would simply glance up and say 'no'. It became my reputation. Nobody knew how much this game was hurting me.

Over the years, I had received a few glimpses of the real James Potter. The chivalrous gentleman that would never be seen around his friends. James had a reputation to uphold, and it was rare that his façade would crumble, and he would do something genuinely nice. But I gradually fell in love with this real James, not the Potter that everybody else knew.

So why did I keep rejecting him?

In fifth year, James finally became handsome. He had been cute before, but now he was taller, more muscular, smoother. And girls fell head-over-heels in love. That's when the game got ugly. Those girls that loved James hated me. They thought I was the reason James wouldn't date any of them. I oftentimes woke up with frog spawn in my hair, and some girls even hexed me.

Finally, James began dating. He still asked me out constantly, which must have bugged his girlfriend to no end. But he was always the one to do the dumping. James went through girls like Petunia went through makeup. (And Tuney bought new makeup at least once a week). I was often interrupted from studying when a girl would run, sobbing, into the common room because James Potter had dumped her. It was awful.

And I didn't want to be one of them.

As much as I loved James, I didn't want to be just another girlfriend. I didn't want to date him for a few days before he broke my heart. I saw what he did to all those other girls, and I didn't want that.

So I decided to wait until he grew up.

I guess I'll be waiting awhile, huh??

-Lily Evans


A/N: K, so I had to write this. It's kinda the ordeal I'm currently going through.

And NO, I don't hate James. In fact, I'll probably write a sequel from his point of view. But with all the drama going on in my life, this just fit.

Review, please?