I took time to talk to a few people and I came to the conclusion that I needed to put a summary of the story here.

This story is based on my opinion of what would have happened if certain things had fallen into place. It does not follow the manga, nor the series in any significant way. If you are here looking for cannon, you aren't going to get it. This story is all original, and the characters will be out of character. (I'm sorry, I don't think anyone could survive being a blithering idiot all of their life, nor an excessive compulsive stalker…you know who I'm talking about.)

This is an idea that ran away from me, and is still running away and I just haven't caught it yet…hopefully I won't catch it until it has finally run it's course. It will be humorous, angsty, violent, creative, thoughtful, but most important, ADULT. I don't pull any punches with my stories, so please try and be open minded st the very least.

The first book has been completely reworked to remove errors and continuity problems, because there were a ton…and there will still be a few present because, no one is perfect. If you have an open mind, I invite you to read this creation, and I hope it brings you some pleasure in any way it can.


What is love?

Chapter 1

He sat on top of the roof and stared off into nothing for a long time.

The stars seemed to wink at him…perhaps to tell him he would be fine, perhaps mocking him like so many others had done in the past.

He took a deep breath and sighed as he thought about all the things he had wanted in his life and all the things he still to this day did not have, and he wondered if maybe everyone was right.

It's not like he didn't try hard…and he surely worked hard. Well…of course he was a bit lazy at times but hey, he needed a break too!

"Oh stop it you silly!" the sound of a light smack followed and then a woman's giggle, then a man's mock protest.

Naruto looked over the edge of the roof and smiled involuntarily as the couple hugged then kissed briefly before walking further down the street then stopped and kissed again.

A couple…a happy couple he corrected himself. Not a strange occurrence in and of itself, but for him it was a draw he had never had…and recently he began to wonder if he would ever have it.

As he watched them he wondered what it was like to have someone kiss him…to really kiss him.

Oh…he had been kissed before…on the cheek, on the forehead by grandma Tsunade; he chuckled, she hated when he called her that…but on some level he liked to call her that because it made him feel like he was more then just a pitiful orphan that most people hated. It made him feel like he belonged…

Like he had a family.

He chewed his bottom lip a little as his mind began to wander and he daydreamed that the woman below was kissing him…but while appealing in a sense, it didn't feel right. She wasn't his…and that was as important to his thoughts as protecting his precious ones had become.

Still, he never had a girlfriend, and he had never been involved with anyone in any significant way.

All his life had been focused on training, becoming the best, so he could become Hokage! He clenched his hands into fists as he thought about it then slowly took a deep breath and relaxed before focusing on the couple below.

Looking down at the man and woman again, he shook his head then grumbled as the man's hand wandered slowly down her back until he touched her backside and she squealed and smacked him on the shoulder.

To Naruto's surprise, she didn't seem to mind as much as he thought she should. If it had been him and Sakura, she would have brained him…no scratch that. She would have pounded him into the dirt like a nail…then she would have brained him. Followed by a long winded speech about how he shouldn't do such a thing to a woman. Yet here was this guy touching this woman on her butt…and he wondered why she didn't just clock him…but she leaned in and kissed him on the lips as they rounded the corner, which made him grumble again once they were out of his line of site.

He sat back on his haunches and frowned. "I don't understand."

"Because you are young and never experienced it, pup."

Naruto frowned then looked inside himself and saw the fox's red eyes looking at him.

"What would you know about it Fana? You haven't had any experience with love yourself have you? Do demons love?"

Naruto was a little miffed. Since they merged the fox would come out more and actually talk to him about whatever was going on. It was frustrating but at the same time it was kind of comforting since no one else would give him a straight answer…or in some case not even the time of day.

"While I have not lived as you have, I do see things through your eyes. I see how others have treated you and how in return you have treated them. I do not fully understand human emotions, but in the time that I have been "contained" within you until the time we merged into one I have observed and obtained an understanding of humans and their intricacies…as far as demons loving…In a manner of speaking and as I understand the human sentiment, I guess we have a disposition, something that is similar in nature."

Naruto frowned then shook his head before losing his temper. "What the hell are you talking about?!?! I didn't understand half the things you said!!!"

The demon chuckled softly then smiled.

"Again. I have watched and I have learned, and yes we do."

Naruto shoved his hands in his pockets and glowered inwardly. "Why didn't you just say that? You didn't have to go all high brow on me…I hate when people do that…"

The demon grinned again, looking much like the Cheshire cat from "Alice in Wonderland".

"I do not try to confuse you on purpose, it is just that I have set myself so that I can guide you better by being able to communicate with you on the level that a teacher would. In the future, I will try to be less "high brow"."

Naruto looked up and nodded. "Well that would be awesome…but what does this have to do with love?"

The demon chuckled again and closed his eyes so only his mouth could be seen.

"Patience. I am still thinking on it, but I believe starting tomorrow you will begin to have answers, and a better life will open before you. One you never expected."

And with those words the mouth closed and the sound of Fana slumbering greeted him.

Naruto opened his eyes then frowned even deeper then before.

Once Fana started taking an interest in Naruto he began "advising" him. His advice was never bad, it was just that Naruto didn't always understand what he was trying to tell him, which tended to cause more harm then good because he would lose his temper. Anyone who knew Naruto more then passingly knew that once he lost his temper, he lost his ability to reason…which was never a good thing.

Most of the time the damn fox would just make him feel stupid…but Naruto always realized afterwards that the fox was right. He just seemed to think a lot further ahead then he did.

Still frowning, Naruto jumped off of the roof of his old apartment and trudged to the inn where Jiraiya had gotten them a room. His little foray into his old world showed him that Jiraiya was correct. It seemed everything in Konoha had moved on without him.



Well almost everything.

She looked out the bedroom window and sighed.

The moon was full and there was a slight breeze that stirred the curtains on her window and caused her wind chime that hung outside to jingle softly.

She could see all the way to the outer area of the courtyard and she wished she had the freedom to come and go as others did…but she knew that was not to be at this time in her life.

Hyuga Hinata stood in her nightdress, slippers on her feet and wished she could fly. She wanted so desperately to escape from the confines of the Hyuga household…to be able to hang out with friends, eat what she wanted where she wanted, to go to slumber parties…just to be free!

But she was the heir to the Hyuga household and she knew better then anyone that she had a responsibility, and "future heirs do not act that way" she could hear her father saying. The one time he gave her that speech never left her head and made her feel more sad and alone then anything…and somehow her father in all of his overbearing, stuffiness exasperated the situation by gazing at her in his way that made her feel like she could never do anything right.

With another soft sigh she went to her bed and reached inside of her pillowcase and pulled out the one thing that always took away her melancholy…a battered orange t shirt. With a soft smile she put it to her nose and sniffed deeply, and a lone tear wet her eyelash which she wiped away with the object of her affection.

Years ago…when he was injured in the failed recovery of Sasuke, she had snuck into his hospital room and watched over him the entire night. A simple Genjutsu prevented the nurses from seeing her, and she was able to do what she had always wanted, spend time with the one she admired.

Oh sure he was unconscious…but this was as close as she was ever able to bring herself to him…and even though she was worried for his well being, she was content to make sure he was going to be ok first hand. When she realized he was waking up, she panicked, and grabbing his t shirt to cover her face so no one would recognize her, leapt from his window, and ran all the way home.

In the time since she took the shirt, she had washed it, and sewn the holes so it looked serviceable again, but only one other person had worn it after Naruto, and wearing his shirt had made her so light headed she had not done it again. She thought to use it as a nightshirt so she could always feel close to him…but she decided it was better if she didn't until she could control her reactions better!

A smile on her face now at the memory, she walked to the window sill again and saw a shooting star fly across to the east and she made a hasty wish.

"I wish Naruto-kun is safe, and he returns home soon…I miss him…"

Quickly she looked around then blushed as she realized she said that out loud…but then smiled, blush still in place as she hugged the shirt to her chest. Well…I do miss him…I wish he would come home.

Slowly she closed her window, then walked over and lay in her bed, but not before she tucked his shirt into her pillowcase again and lay her head softly on top of the pillow, wishing it was his chest.

Slowly she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Goodnight Naruto-Kun."



With a flourish Jiraiya finished signing his name on the note and placed it inside of an envelope and sealed it.

He would drop that off in the morning before they went to see Tsunade. She would want to know how Naruto's training had gone. Maybe after he could go do some, "research". Icha Icha Ecstasy was due out in another month and he was still ten chapters from being done…while he didn't want to disappoint his fans, he really didn't want to disappoint his bank account!

With a sigh he stood and stretched his back, which felt stiffer then usual, so he promised himself a soak in the hot springs as soon as he was done with Tsunade and Naruto. The thought of Naruto made him smile and shake his head.

The kid had grown up a lot…and his skills had grown by leaps and bounds...and don't get him started on the Jutsus he learned. The kid was like a blasted sponge!

Still, there was a lot for him to learn before he could achieve his dream if ever. Oh there was definitely a spark in Naruto that would help him achieve a lot…but there was still something missing for him to become hokage.

One was experience, The other sadly was common sense. The kid seemed to never get any wiser…and his attitude, SHEESH!

Jiraiya smiled as he thought about it then shook his head with a light chuckle. Well he had grown, and no one really thought he would do that much…except Tsunade, who told him the night before they left that he would die slowly and painfully if anything happened to Naruto…which made the toad sage wonder when she had started caring about him.

Before Jiraiya could ponder that further, the door flew open and in walked Naruto carrying a bowl of ramen. Jiraiya only chuckled. "Hey kid, eating again I see. How was your stroll around town?"

Naruto kicked the door closed behind him and sat at the table in the corner next to the window.

"Some things are still the same…but you were right. There are different things here, the village has changed, and I did not see many people that I remember. I hope it is different in the daytime."

Naruto's face seemed normal enough, but spending the last few years with him Jiraiya learned to be able to read his moods. With a shrug he went over to the shelf and opened a bottle of sake. When he's ready, he'll talk. Jiraiya thought to himself as he unwrapped the cap of the bottle.

Naruto broke apart his chopsticks and got a mouthful of ramen and swallowed it before turning to Jiraiya. "Pervy sage?"

Jiraiya sighed and poured himself a cup of sake. "You know I hate that name kid…what do you want?"

Naruto laid his chopsticks down and gulped loudly. "How do you get a girlfriend?"

Jiraiya stopped with the sake halfway to his lips then looked at Naruto and placed the cup on the table. "Kid…are you screwing with me? You never expressed an interest before…especially not in that!"

Naruto's earnest expression told Jiraiya all he needed to know.

So…he has grown up more then I had thought.

"I was just wondering because I see people all of the time, holding hands, kissing, and hugging, and I am lon…curious. It's not like I want one or anything!" He said hastily.

The word lonely almost slipped out of his mouth but Naruto thought he had covered it up fast enough. "I wonder what the big deal is and what it would be like to have one."

The toad sage picked up the cup and drank its contents in one gulp then poured another before looking at his ward again.

"Kid…what I'm going to tell you will stay with you for the rest of your life whether you want it to or not but you always remember what the wise toad sage told you I say and keep it in that rock head of yours, and you can't go wrong."

Naruto nodded his head and waited.

Jiraiya took a deep breath then raised one hand in the air with his index finger extended towards the ceiling and said, "Women are insane!"

Naruto fell out of his chair and grumbled to himself before jumping up and yelling at Juraiya.

"What? That makes no sense!! What do you mean insane?"

Jiraiya, expecting the kid's outburst was already waving him to sit down.

"Relax…finish your' Ramen and I will explain all. Let the all wise and knowing Sage of toads teach you all about the opposite sex."

Naruto rolled his eyes but sat down grumbling, "All perverted more like it."

Jiraiya frowned but walked over with the sake jug and the cup and sat down across from Naruto.

"You see kid, when a man has those special feelings deep in his stomach that happen only when he looks at a woman; THAT is the beginning of love.

From there you always think about them, you can't wait to see them, you find reasons to go find them just so you can hear their voice. That is the first part."

Naruto frowned around a mouthful of ramen then swallowed. "So what does that have to do with women being insane?"

Jiraiya laughed then patted Naruto's hand before pouring himself another cup of saki.

"Wait…you will understand when I am finished." After knocking back the second cup Jiraiya set it down and smiled.

"Once you get to that stage, the only logical thing to do is to ask them on a date. But a woman believes she should keep you waiting, that she shouldn't admit she cares or that she wants you. So the first time you will get a no because they want to keep you guessing."

Naruto looked confused and tapped the side of his face with his chopsticks. "But…if she likes you then why won't she just say yes?"

Jiraiya laughed then slapped his leg before slamming another cup of sake.

"That is what I am trying to explain. Women believe that they have to keep a man waiting…it is the way they are raised and it is something they do to all men. She will lead you around by your," Looking at Naruto's face he toned down what he was going to say. "Manly parts until you're frustrated and can't see straight…but the worst is she will do this until you are in love with her…and then the real torment begins!

But I'll tell you true Naruto, if the time ever comes when a woman is honest with you and tells you the truth the first time…marry her, because that means she was meant for you and you will never find another like her."

Jiraiya thumped himself on the chest with a fist. "Why do you think I have stayed single all this time? I know the secrets of women…and I know how to avoid their feminine traps! You'll never hear about old Jiraiya being tripped up by a woman."

Naruto smiled. "Because no one wants to be with a pervert?" But he thought back to the woman who let that guy touch her butt and wondered.

Jiraiya knocked back another cup of Sake then shook his head.

"Not true…if she loves you, some things that you consider perverted will be acceptable in certain places, and completely accepted in private. But it all depends on the woman, and if she is truly right for you."

Jiraiya poured another cup then looked at Naruto slyly.

"Say, are you holding out on me? Have you found someone you are in-ter-res-ted in? Hmmm?

Only in town for a few hours and already ready to jump on the date wagon? Kid maybe I was wrong about you, tell me does she have nice legs?"

Naruto jumped up again and slammed his chopsticks on the table. "It's not like that you perverted sage!! I just want…"

Naruto looked confused suddenly then slowly sat down again. "I just want to not be alone anymore."

Naruto didn't know why he blurted out the truth…he was sure Jiraiya didn't care or would use it against him in some way…but for some reason he had to say it. It just had to come out.

Jiraiya watched as Naruto raged then deflated in seconds and wondered what was going on inside of him. The kids never been like this before…what's gotten him so shaken up and wanting a girlfriend already? In fact for a while there, I was sure he would be peeping at me or some other guy…guess I'll have to change my opinion.

"Kid…there comes a time in every man and woman's life when they don't want to be alone anymore for whatever reasons.

Only you can decide if you are ready to take on the responsibility of a relationship or not. It is not just about the nice things like kissing and hugging. There is Gama-Bunta size responsibility involved," Jiraiya grinned when Naruto's eyes bugged out at his analogy, then sobered again. "There is pain too.

Loneliness, heartache, and if you are truly unlucky or in your case hard headed, there is heart break."
Jiraiya's hand reached inside of his shirt near his heart, and his face became completely blank for a moment. "There is always heartbreak."

Before Naruto could respond Jiraiya yanked his hand out of his shirt then slammed another cup of sake. Naruto wondered briefly if he was going to get crocked…Jiraiya only got drunk in front of him once before…and it wasn't a pretty picture.

Jiraiya smiled at his ward then poured another glass. "You have to give to the person you are with as much as you receive and sometimes more. You can never think that you are more important then she is, and if she is truly meant for you, then you will always…ALWAYS, be the most important thing in her life. Do you understand?"

Naruto frowned then shook his head. "No."

Jiraiya walked over then ruffled Naruto's hair which caused him to scowl and complain slightly.

"Good. The confusion will prepare you for a relationship. Now get some sleep…big day tomorrow. You are back in your old home town, we have to talk to Tsunade, find you a place to live, and I'm sure you have things you want to do."

The sage dragged out the word things but it was wasted on Naruto.

Lost in his own thoughts Naruto nodded then went and climbed into his bed and pulled the blanket over his head, after putting his nightcap on of course. Soon the steady rise and fall of his chest and the slight snores every so often told of his slumbering.

Jiraiya shook his head but smiled. The kid was really growing up.

Now if they could get him to stop wearing orange…


Next Episode: The gift…the house.