By rainxface

Hey guys! Just thought I would squeeze in a little song-fic while on my off time and having block from AG&AV.

Disclaimer: I don't own MR or Paramore (artist of "Miracle!") but I own everything that's unfamiliar.

I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and I

It was Monday night, and I was at Anne Walker's house in Virginia. I had been thinking to myself. Where am I really? Am I in a universe caught between the world and Hell? or in Hell? or the actual world? If it was the actual world, then how the heck does it seem like I am partially dead?

A light knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. The door opened, and Fang silently slid in my room.

"Hey," I said, looking up from my bed.

"Hi," he replied. He looked down at his feet after looking at me for a moment. "I just wanted to talk to someone for a while." Okay, that was not something Fang said everyday. By any means. I stared at my best friend in shock. My eyes were wide and my jaw was partly dropped.

"O-okay," I stuttered out. "What do you want to talk about?" I leaned against my head board and scooted over incase he decided to sit down.

He shrugged and closed the door. We walked over to the vacant side of my bed and sat down. "Have you ever thought about…" he dragged out, knowing I would know what he was thinking.

"Yes and no. I think about it, yes, but sometimes, I just don't know what would happen." I sighed. "It would be different for us to live like that. I wouldn't know how to continue to exist." I rested my head on his left shoulder.

When this memory fades
I'm gonna make sure it's replaced
With chances taken
Hope embraced
and have I told you?

"It wouldn't feel right to me, that's for sure," Fang said, looking down at me to his left. "I wouldn't feel whole cause I would be missing everyone I know. I need these people to carry on." I felt Fang's arm wrap around me, but I wasn't sure. I was listening to his voice while trying to fight the sleep that was conquering. "I would feel… And no one… I would miss… you…" I drifted in and out of his speech before finally excepting the blackness of sleep.

I'm not going
cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
When it might save you

I woke the next morning and I wasn't looking directly at the ceiling. Or anything of the 'up' area. No, instead I saw the edge of my bed and two pair of jeans that had legs inhabiting them. Then the night before came flooding back to my memory.

I took a deep breath and gently removed my head from Fang's shoulder. I didn't want to wake him, so I looked at my clock. 6:44 am. My alarm would be going off in one minute. I sat there, thinking about the last bit of information I had heard from Fang. Nothing that I could piece together, but still something.

A few seconds later, I heard the annoying beeping of my alarm clock. I reached over and smacked snooze then switching it off. I felt Fang take a large breath and then yawn.

"Good morning," I mumbled, smiling lightly to try to welcome the morning. "Time to get ready for school."

Fang grunted. I got up and headed toward my closet to grab my clothes. I grabbed a quick outfit and turned to Fang, whom was still sitting on my bed, his eyes half open.

"Up. Now." I tried shooing him off of my bed, but it didn't work. "Fine. Just be up by 7, okay?" And with that I left him on my bed and went to take a shower.

I came out of the shower ten minutes later and quickly dressed myself. I ran down to the kitchen to eat my breakfast. Iggy was making us pancakes and eggs for a healthy day starting meal.

I ate my (five helpings of) eggs and (four stacks of) pancakes before seeing Fang come down to the kitchen to eat his breakfast. He was in a newer outfit from when I last saw him, and he didn't look like he was about to say anything about the night previous.

We've learned to run from
Anything uncomfortable
We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know
That inside we're broken
I try to patch things up again
To calm my tears and kill these fears
But have I told you, have I?

We went to school as (now) usual. It was all going smooth for me while looking up information about ter Borcht. I had a slight run in with a kid from my English class, but nothing more. Once I found enough of ter Borcht's biography, I decided to go tell Fang. I new what class he had at the moment, so I practically ran to where he would be without making any noise. While I was 'running' past an empty class room, I saw Fang.

But he wasn't alone.

There was a girl with red hair and from what I could tell about her back, was not going to be one of my friends. Her hand was twisting a lock of her hair while her posture was relaxed and slightly excited at the same time. I couldn't tell what she about to do.

And so seconds later she pushed herself against Fang and started kissing him. And what's worse is that he was kissing her back! I couldn't believe what I was seeing and rushed to the nearest bathroom. I quickly took a vacant stall and shut myself in. I let tears pour down my face; what they were for, I had no clue. I felt like I was a porcelain doll and a mother had just let her daughter smash the doll. My heart felt like it stopped, I could barely breathe, and the image wouldn't erase from my memory. After what felt like an hour, I came out of the stall and splashed water on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and just stared.

I was no longer the girl that was fearless and had to take care of five other mutants with no parents plus a talking dog, but a girl that had just had her heart ripped to shreds by her first love.

I heard the bell for passing lunch ring and quickly made my face as clear as possible to mask the pain that was tearing me apart inside, slowly and horribly. I walked out of the bathroom and towards my locker to grab my lunch. I noticed Fang standing right next to the thrashed locker and almost turned the other way. But instead I held my head high and continued to my locker to grab my food.

I'm not going
Cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
When it might save you

"Max, you okay?" Fang requested from me for the billionth time during the first five minutes of lunch. "Max, this is not funny. If you don't start talking, I think I might just… I don't know. But Max, I know something is up. Talk to me, please." I wouldn't respond to him, wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't even look at him. He just seemed like he wouldn't give a rat's butt about my feelings right now. I finished my lunch and walked to where I saw Iggy sitting with another girl.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked, not trying to intrude on them but trying to keep Fang as far away from me as possible. They both shook their heads and went back to whatever conversation they were having. I just retreated into my thoughts.

I thought that Fang had shown me that he cared more about me than I thought last night. I thought Fang would know better than to like another girl other than the girl that he is already showing affection towards. Fang is Mr. Logic out of everyone in the flock. It just didn't make any sense to me in my mind. For the remainder of the lunch period, I let my thoughts linger on who the girl was.

When we arrived home that day, I immediately ran up to my room to start my homework and most likely escape Fang, who had not-so-pleasantly asked me what was wrong. Nonstop. I think this is the only day that I would be happy to be starting on my homework.

Unfortunately, homework can only last for a period of time. But there were also chores to be done around the house, right? But according to Anne, everything was already done and Iggy was already working on dinner.

I slumped up to my room to stare at my walls and listen to the radio. I turned my radio up loud enough to feel the bass vibrate my bed to shake on beat. But before I had turned to lay on my bed, I found the laptop that Anne had kindly donated to my convenience. I looked up on the internet anything more that could possibly be released about a mad scientist from the general European area.

I had found nothing by the time that dinner had come and even once it passed, I still couldn't find anything. By the time I had stopped researching, it was time to go to bed. I tucked in Angel and 'coincidentally' ran into Fang right outside her door. I tried talking to him casually but I had to slip in the fact that he had kissed a complete stranger today and I had to somehow make it subtle. (from here I am trying to sound as much like the book as I can)

"You think I'm a lousy mom? What because I'm not girly enough, is that it?" I was really mad, the tensions of today boiling over in me. "Not like that girl with red hair, stuck to you like glue!" My hands came up and, without thinking, I shoved Fang. (I have to cut out somethings to make a lot smoother)

"You've been a great mom. But you're only fourteen and shouldn't have to be a mom. Give yourself ten years or so."

(end book stuff)

It's not faith if, if you use your eyes
Oh why
We'll get it right this time (this time)
Let's leave this all behind
Oh why
We'll get it right this time
It's not faith if you're using your eyes
Oh why

The next week passed with nothing new of Fang and I happening, but I did go on a date. I don't even know why, I just did. Probably to get Fang back for kissing the Red Haired Wonder. Nudge had come up with an idea for all the secret codes. But not even that was enough to keep my mind from wandering to the subject of Fang. I had even come close to even running up to him and slapping him then kissing him. But thankfully that didn't happen.

Instead I tried to keep our conversations to a bare minimum. Meaning I only talk to him if he offers to talk to me, and even then I talk very little. Less than him. Yes, that seems evil, but he deserves it. The day after he shows me part of him that no one sees, he kisses another girl, complete stranger.

Sometimes I don't even understand my longest best friend.

And not talking to him was getting rather hard once Gazzy and Iggy gave us wonderful tickets to the world of Grounded (sarcasm intended), that is making things a lot harder. But on night of studying was about to change that.

Nudge thought that she had figured out the code. Words from the Bible; like passages, and chapters, and paragraphs, and sentences, and words in the sentences. While I was looking for one of the words, I saw a passage that really caught my eye. I think it was 2 Corinthians 5:7. It said sometime like

(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)

It really meant something to me, somehow or another. Maybe because I had only seen Fang kissing the girl and not that I knew anything else. Maybe it was actually just the girl that was kissing him and my eyes were deceiving me. Maybe he was already seeing her before he was expressing to me. Maybe he was just trying to get me jealous of him, but for why I would have not a guess. He knew that I already 'liked' him, but why would he have to try and get me pissed off?

One day I actually got the nerve to talk to him. Me starting the conversation, not him.

"Fang?" I asked from his doorframe, my voice quivering a bit in how his reaction might be. "Fang, I really want – need – to talk to you." He turned in his chair from his desk piled high with homework and looked at me. I don't know what sort of look he would give me, but somehow I wasn't expecting him to be so…happy was it?

"Go on." He nodded his head to also tell me to continue.

I took a deep breath. "I want to know what happened the other day. The day with… the day with that other girl and you." I let out the rest of my breath and made sure that my eyes were relaxed and closed. I heard Fang leave his seat, but I'm not sure where he went until he spoke.


"And please no lies," I interrupted. I heard him sigh.

"Lisa was trying to tell me something and I really wasn't listening – I swear to God, she started it all – and then she was just all over me. I'm sorry. I should've pushed her away. Max, look at me." I opened my eyes, but didn't even look to anywhere close to where he was standing. "Max, please, look at me. Please, please, don't be all stubborn right now. If you want to know the truth, then just look at me so I know you're at least listening." I felt a tear run down my cheek, but still I stayed the same. "Goddamn it, Max! When will you open your eyes to see the truth? At very least when you ask for it! Max, look at me." Fang's voice broke. "Look at me," his voice dropped to a low whisper. I finally looked at him. "I… I love you, Max. I do. And I'm sorry that I have been a big a-hole about your feelings recently. But that's only because you have been that way to me." I blinked hard to clear my vision from tears, causing my face to turn red and wet.

I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and
I don't want to run from anything uncomfortable
I just want, no
I just need this pain to end right here

I cleared my throat before speaking. "Fang, I can't say that I love you, too, but I can't say that I don't. I'm sorry I have been that way. I overreacted, but that's just because I saw my best friend in the whole world kiss a complete stranger to all of us." My voice was continually breaking, but all that I cared about was telling Fang. I had a million tears running down my face, but that didn't stop the fact that Fang needed to know. "I'm sorry for being the friend that wants to save her friend from the world and people. That's just who I am. It may not be the best thing ever, but you may have to accept the fact that I will always be here to save you from anything, no matter if you want my help or not. I'll be here. I'm sorry." I ran to Fang, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face into the crook of his shoulder.

I sobbed tears of fear, hate, sorrow, love, friendship, and all that's in between. Fang's arms eventually wrapped my waist and lower back. I felt something in my hair, not like a bug or something, but like a kiss. Fang had kissed my hair.

I don't know how long I spent crying, but when I pulled away from Fang, his whole upper-shirt was soaked. I let out a little chuckle that sounded more like a cough. Fang's hand came up and wiped away the last of the tears and brushed back my hair. Fang kissed my forehead then rested his head against mine.

It's not faith if, if you use your eyes
If you use your eyes
If you use your eyes

Okay, so I tried to make it possible to fit this in with SOF, but I don't know if you think that they should end up a couple or not. I see them as still being confused. But that's just me.

And yes, that is an actual verse out of the Bible. 2 Corinthians 5:7

And this is almost 3,000 words. :)

Hope you enjoyed. Please review!