Warnings: Talk of taking things 'up the ass.' Possible OOC-ness.

"Sasuke, why don't you ever take it up the ass?"

The addressed male promptly choked on his tea.

After he managed to gulp the liquid down, he proceeded to cough, his chest squeezing painfully from his near suffocation.

The blond across from him didn't look at all amused by the fact that Uchiha Sasuke was choking. Instead, he looked seriously curious with that firm frown on his lips and brows furrowed so bewilderedly and determinedly.

Sasuke huffed and raked his fingers through his hair once he composed himself. He set his cup down and regarded Uzumaki Naruto calmly.

"Care to repeat that, dobe?"

"Why don't you ever take it up the ass?" Naruto repeated, although with less patience than before. Every time Naruto had sex with the raven-haired man, Sasuke always topped; Sasuke always got to be the dominant one, the alpha male, the seme. Did he ever consider the possibility that maybe Naruto needed to rest his ass every now and then and, maybe, just maybe… he wanted to try the role of seme?

At least just once every blue moon?!

Apparently such a thought never crossed the normally stoic man's mind because he looked amused by Naruto's question. Amused! The bastard had no right to be amused!

Growling, the blond glared at him. "Why are you smirking?!"

"I'm just wondering what would make you think I would want to take it up the ass," Sasuke replied smoothly.

Naruto huffed. "Maybe because you're gay and you love me so you would do anything for me."

Sasuke snorted. "Idiot. I am not gay."

Naruto gawked at him. "Then why the hell are you with me if you're not gay?!"

He sighed and gestured his dobe over. Naruto eyed him suspiciously but crawled around the kotatsu in order to sit down next to Sasuke. But instead of letting the boy sit next to him, Sasuke snaked an arm around his waist and tugged the smaller one into his lap, earning an indignant squawk from the Kyuubi-vessel.

"Let me tell you something, dobe," Sasuke said, his tone serious. If it wasn't for his serious tone, Naruto wouldn't have turned around in his lap to look at him and actually listen to him. It wasn't very often the Uchiha spoke more than a sentence to anyone, anyway. "I'll make this very direct, so you understand."

Naruto glared. "Are you questioning my intelligence!?"

"Hn." Smirk. "Anyway. I don't like girls. I never liked girls."


"They have boobs. Too squishy. And they have…other things."

"Well I know that, Sasuke. Tell me something I don't know!" Naruto rolled his eyes.

Sasuke continued on, "I don't like women, so I'm not straight. I don't like guys, either."

Naruto opened his mouth to yell at him, but Sasuke cut him off.

"I don't like anyone."

The tanned nose wrinkled in an obvious effort not to say something. The Uchiha thought it was…endearing.

"I guess you could say I'm asexual," Sasuke said bluntly. Naruto thought it was amazing how he could say the things he was saying in such a bland tone. "Well I thought I was. But I like you. I have sex with you. And it's not because I am gay, but just that I like you."

"So…" Naruto started slowly, mulling over what Sasuke said. His demeanor brightened when he came to a conclusion. "You're Naruto-sexual!"


"…but that doesn't explain why you won't take it up the ass," Naruto muttered, glaring.

"I'm not gay, therefore I don't like it up the ass."

"Your logic makes no sense."




"You're screwed up."


"…You know what I think it is? I think it's a superior-Uchiha-complex thing of yours. You need to feel that you're constantly in control; that you're always the all-powerful, the Alpha Male, or your ego is crushed and you become overwhelmed by your insecurities and self-doubt…"





"You're an idiot."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him. He squeaked (in a manly way, of course) when Sasuke took that tongue into his mouth.

Sasuke then proceeded to remind Naruto just how much the blond liked it up the ass.


AN: Yeah…Okay. This was an idea I had floating around in my head for a while…and had to get out. The logic of it all made sense when in my head, but I don't know if it does now that it's written. But meh. xD It's why I write SasuNaru – that and a seme!sasuke is just yummy.