Raven felt nothing. If she could feel she would have hated how she felt nothing. As much trouble as her constant fight with her emotions were, they were the proof that she was human. If only partly. Humans felt, she felt. Despite her cold appearance, despite her fight to get control over them, they were still there. Reminding her of her humanity. Reminding her that she had the choice to do good. That's why she cherished the emotions she struggled with. Why she had been so upset the one time Beast Boy had convinced her to drink. She had blamed it on how she had lost control over her powers, but mostly she had hated how her emotions had been dulled. She slowly went out the door, down the stairs and into the street. If she had wanted to, she could have concluded why she had stopped time. But she didn't want to. She didn't feel anything, therefore she didn't care. To care was linked with your emotions. Now they were gone. Like a computer who's been given too much to do and simply breaks down. A human response. Raven had been an empath long enough to know this was also a part of her human side. It was a way for the heart and mind to protect itself. When things became too painful it dulled the pain so you could survive without going mad. Though, if Raven had given it any thought, they never vanished entirely. Raven just walked down the black and white street not really knowing where she was walking to. And yet her mind knew. Another instinct. It was going home. She stopped when she reached the end of the dock and looked up at the island which held the Titan tower. Home. She flew and landed on the roof. Home. She should have asked to remain. To be a part of the new titans. And yet she couldn't. They were different. They wouldn't make some strange concoction while singing off key from the top of their lungs. They wouldn't have videogames contests. They wouldn't eat pizza and then start arguing over who would get the last slice. Yes, she could have asked to still be a titan... But it wouldn't be her titans. Her titans were gone. Her legs gave in, so she just crossed them as she levitated into the air. She didn't... She wasn't... Raven felt nothing, and yet she was only human. Even if it was only a part of her. She closed her eyes and started to meditate. Not to get control, but out of habit. The soothing effect doing something you've done thousands of times can have on you. She didn't see or sense the small green dot contrasting the black and white world she had created. She didn't see or sense how it grew bigger and bigger until the spine-tailed swift landed on the edge of the tower and morphed back. Now most people thing the falcon is the fastet bird, and indeed animal, in the world. But that is only when swooping down to attack something, not when flying from point A to point B. The beast man knew this very well. Beast Boy just looked at Raven, unsure what to do. Raven suddenly sensed emotion and opened her eyes. Looking directly into his. Shame and regret. Anger and sorrow. Joy and love. Worry and care. Raven could feel his emotions force themselves on her, trigering her own feelings. Her human side. Both the good and the bad. No one ever made her feel as much as Beast Boy. Not always good, just as much anger and irritation sometimes even pain and sorrow, but he always made her feel something. Raven landed and looked at him.
Her voice was emotionless and breathless.
"Nothing, I just realised that someone had stopped time and thought you might need help. Stupid me."
Beast Boy was short, but Raven knew that wasn't all he felt. He had been worried for her. He was worried for her.
Beast Boy shrank as he stood there apologising. Raven gave him the time he needed. She always did.
"What I said today I shouldn't have I mean it wasn't fair and I'm sure Henry is a nice guy I mean if he choose you at least he's got brains and I shouldn't' have said anything I mean it wasn't fair to you I know you don't like to hide who you are and it's not your fault you have to hide it and Henry will love you all of you when he knows who you are as he should because you are so easy to love even when your impossible to be with at least I know I can't help loving you and it's just I don't know Henry just rubs me the wrong way I guess I mean I told you you of all people know that people just can't help what they feel I mean it's not that Henry has done something I don't know I mean I'll probably like him more when I get to know him better and whatever makes you happy I should support and I do support all I want is for you to be happy and if Henry makes you happy then I'm happy for you and..."
Beast Boy looked at her with a small grin as his rambeling was interrupted. Raven looked from him to the city, not knowing what would happen if she met his eyes.
"Henry broke up with me, or more precisely I broke up with Henry when I showed him who I was and he was totally disgusted."
Pain and sorrow, because she was unhappy, but Beast Boy was also jumping up and down in joy when hearing this. On the inside of course. Raven looked at him with one eyebrow raised. Now Beast Boy was the one who couldn't look at her.
"I'm sure she's fine."
"Garfield, she's your girlfriend. Some form of communication..."
He looked back at her as Raven's eyebrow lowered.
"She's my ex-girlfriend."
"You broke up with her? When?"
"When we got back from that party where you gave me that fairy tale."
Raven hated how a small part of her was happy, but she was careful not to let him see it. He would read more into it than was really there. And there was something else. Beast Boy and Mona had broken up almost a month ago, and no one had told her. Raven hated that.
"Thank you, but don't waste energy on that. I was only using her and it wasn't fair to any of us."
Raven's eyes grew a little. The idea that Beast Boy had used anyone, for whatever reason, was strange and out of character with the Beast Boy she knew. Then again, he had broken up with Mona almost a month ago without her knowing about it. Friends knew when their friends broke up with someone didn't they? Raven turned and looked out on the city, now realising it was black and white. She had stopped time. Raven closed her eyes and sighed. She did that when her emotions were to much to bear. Her human side taking control over her demonic one. For once. The same reaction as when her human side had numbed all feelings. Self preservation. She closed her eyes and without seeing it she gave colour back to the city. She looked at Beast Boy as suddenly Aqualad followed by his fellow titans burst threw the door. They looked from one person to the other before Aqualad raised his hand to calm his team down.
"It's okay. Just some old titans come back for a short visit. Nothing to see here."
And with that he guided and pushed everyone back through the door. The couple looked from the door back to one another.
"I better get you home."
"You don't need to do that. You see I have these powers."
His voice glowed with pride as he morphed to a bird. A raven. Raven rolled her eyes.
"You're green, Garfield. You could blow your cover. People might think a green raven is a bit suspicious."
Beast Boy morphed back, feeling a bit stupid he hadn't thought of it.
He looked up at her and smiled that boyish smile of his that had melted more than one fan-girl's heart.
"You're always right."
"I'm not always right."
Raven was calm and collected, at least when she looked at him. His grin just grew.
"So you admit you can be wrong?"
"I didn't say that either."
"Come on, Rae, you either have to be wrong from time to time or you're always right. It can't be both."
He pushed out his chest, proud that he had outwitted her.
"It's not both, it's neither."
"Isn't that the same?"
"Of course not. You can be offered an apple and an orange without eating any of them."
His eyebrows rose.
"Are you sure?"
Raven's voice was deadpan and Beast Boy's eyebrows lowered. He just smiled to her.
"Then you are right. Again. I guess."
Then he scratched the left side of his temple. Raven took a step closer.
"Here. Popcorn. Can't watch a movie without popcorn."
Raven took the bowle Cyborg offered her before he handed one to Robin. Starfire swooned down next to her husband.
"Oh isn't this exciting friends. Gar nominated for an academy award. He could win."
"That's not very realistic, dear. I mean as talented as Gar is, this is his first movie. But it's wonderful that he's nominated."
Robin leaned back, letting Starfire curl up next to him. Cyborg sat down as Bumblebee entered.
"I'm afraid Dick has a point, but I mean did you see Gar. He looked like a kid."
As the rest of the group continued to discuss Beast Boy, Raven pulled her legs up under her and looked at the screen. Now and then eating a popcorn. He had been excited. Not just about the movie, about a lot of things. Too many for Raven to figure out in the few minutes they had been together as they passed one another that night.
Beast Boy didn't win, but the movie won three awards all in all. All in all, not bad. Beast Boy was grinning each time his face was on the screen, gleaming with pride. He was happy, which made Raven smile behind the popcorn. Making the TV flicker for a moment. No one commented.
Raven was still sitting in the chair talking with Starfire and Bumblebee when the doorbell rang and Cyborg let in a hyper Beast Boy.
"Gar, we'd thought you'd be out celebrating with your movie friends."
"Nawh, I'd rather celebrate with my real friends."
"Good to know, grass-stain."
Cyborg and Beast Boy both laughed as he dived into the chair next to Raven. He offered her a quick glance and Raven noticed a change in his emotions, though she didn't understand what it was or why.
"I thought you liked the glamour and attention."
Raven's voice was calm and emotionless, but not unfriendly. At least not Raven unfriendly. Beast Boy sighed and looked at her. Grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh I do, but I still prefere you guys."
"And we feel so honoured that you would choose us over the best the movie business have to offer."
Karen's remark made everyone laugh. Drawing a smile from Raven.
"So tell us Gar, who was it? Was it glamours?"
Starfire's eyes had grown larger than normal. Beast Boy faced her, telling the entier group about the experience. But now and then looking sideways at Raven to make sure she was paying attention. Turning to the others when he was reassured that she was.
"How about the dresses?"
"You see Kori, Gar, as most men, don't look at the dress when meeting women."
Starfire looked shocked at her husband.
"Because we're dudes."
said Gar, getting agreeing nods from Cyborg and Robin.
"We don't really care."
At this Bumblebee leaned over grinning with malice.
"So I guess you didn't notice Raven's new dress then?"
Beast Boy gulped as his eyes grew and his face paled just a little bit. Raven suddenly realised what the change in his emotions had been. Bumblebee leaned back laughing, along with the other former titans. Starfire suddenly jumped to her feet.
"Karen, didn't you want to show me something in the kitchen?"
Bumblebee got the hint and rose too.
"Yeah I think so. Vic, come and help me with the thing I was going to show Kori."
But Bumblebee and Starfire just pulled their parters up and out into the library. Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. Beast Boy followed them with his eyes, then turning to Raven, eyebrows raised.
"What was that all about?"
"The worst attempt to hide a matchmaking plan."
Raven silenced him with a look.
Then he looked the other way, not daring to look at her. Raven felt embarrassed and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. She got to her feet.
"Tell Vic and Karen that I had a nice time."
Beast Boy just nodded. Now staring at the floor.
"And, Garfield, congratulations with the awards your movie won."
He looked up and a small smile krept over his lips. His chest shot out.
"I'm looking forward to your next project."
He would have wagged his tail, if he had been a dog.
"So you liked the movie?"
"I told you that."
He scratched the back of his head, grinning.
He jumped up.
"So you're proud of me?"
"Shouldn't I be?"
He looked down at her.
"I've got a lot of offers. Both as an actor and requests for me to invest in their movies. Even from someone who wants to make a movie about the titans."
"I guess there no use trying to stop them making things of us now."
"You don't want there to be a movie. Then I won't back it."
Raven sat back down, as did he, now on a ottoman, facing her.
"Even if you don't back it, they could still make a movie."
"I'll buy the script. I'll by all the scripts that will ever be made."
Raven rolled her eyes.
"Even you don't have that amount of money, Garfield."
He grinned and rubbed the back of his head.
"You would know."
He laughed. Raven rolled her eyes again. Suddenly the door burst open and Cyborg took one step inside, despite the efforts from both Bumblebee and Starfire.
"Dude, just tell her. Seriously."
"Thank you, Vic."
Beast Boy was grinding his teeth as he gave Cyborg a look wich resembled something Raven would have given.
"I mean it."
Beast Boy got to his feet and walked over to his cyborg friend. Raven was done. She too, rose.
"Victor, you know Garfield is immature and he is clearly not ready for whatever you want him to tell me. Because I'm assuming the her was a reference to me."
It took all her powers to control her emotions as she walked passed the group. Her voice and action as emotionless and calm as they usually were.
"I told you Garfield, sometimes it's just too late. Goodbye."
She walked into the hall, ready to go. Then someone grabbed her, spun her around and kissed her. She was surprised by this, but more surprised by how passion and love and joy and relief suddenly came rushing into her body. Not totally uncontrollably, but still much more determind than she was used to. She started to kiss him back, noticing how much joy that brought him. How he held her closer, kissed her more fiercely and simply needed her. Needed her to be with him right then and there, doing just that. She was surprised by how much he needed and wanted her, what didn't suprise her was how much she needed and wanted him back.