A/N: This is my very first fanfiction. I had been thinking about this scene in the last weeks quite often until I just began writing it, to finally set myself free from this annoying idea ;)
Comments would be a blessing but don't be too harsh. I know I'm going a bit OOC here, but it's just a short scene so I thought wtf this is how I'd have liked Bella and Edward to be in certain moments.
Disclaimer: The Characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. I am just borrowing them for the duration of this.
Spoiler warning: This scene takes place shortly after chapter 27 of Eclipse "Needs", before the epilogue with Jacob.
TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY
By Seraph86 / Sineous
We were sitting just outside the Cullens' house at the porch in front of the back glass doors that were leading through a small meadow into the deep, shallow forest surrounding the mansion. The seldom seen sun was dancing in circles on the sheet of paper lying in front of me. With the wind playing with my hair and Edward's smell lingering it felt even more difficult to phrase the words that I had long been thinking of in my mind.
This was the hour I had feared most. Never had I imagined it would be such an agony to announce my marriage. Or was it because marrying also meant the good-bye to my friends and family, the same people that had meant the world to me – before…? And because it meant the loss of a beloved friend?
Charlie already knew. He didn't approve of course, but he would learn to accept my choice at long last. And Renée…well she was my mom after all.
I had considered to call Jake, but soon gave up on that attempt. The thought of hurting him more than I already had set free a pain that was still lingering inside my chest. I feared it would break free when I gave it a chance, so I banned the topic from my thoughts – without success, obviously.
I wondered; was Jake the reason why I couldn't bring myself to write down the words that would mean eternal love and happiness with the man I loved more than my own life? Why were my hands shaking, my heart beating unsteadily and my throat felt like sand all of a sudden when I remembered the last time we'd talked to each other, when he gave me his promise? Then, thinking way back to when he used to be on my side all the time, supporting, when I most longed for someone else? Remembering his smile, lighting up my day like the sun breaking through the clouds… his first futile attempts at kissing me… until I realized that I did return his feelings.
I was suddenly woken up from my daydreaming when I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath. In an instant, he was by my side, his face a mixture of shock and pure agony – and I slowly, like reality was slipping into place again, realized what was wrong. My lip was bleeding. I had been biting down on it while my mind had been absent and now I felt the warm, salty liquid on my tongue.
Edward's eyes had turned pitch black and he had his mouth half-opened in a silent, agonized snarl. My heart began hammering wildly in my chest and I heard the blood rush in my ears. It seemed ironic that his sparkling beauty captivated my thoughts in this exact moment. And then he yanked at my hand and was backing me away, his right hand holding my face firmly. Soon I felt the wooden pillar at my back and looked up at his face, more than just a little terrified. But his face was void of any feeling beside this pure agony that ripped my heart apart. I'd seen Edward in such a pain before… Has it been too much for him? I told myself that he was used to be around me now and remembering the path we'd set for Victoria in the woods, he'd seemed fine with smelling my blood… wasn't he?
When I met his eyes, his gaze was fiery and intense, like he was holding back some excruciating pain. His irises an abyss, sparkling with an indefinable excitement and frightening me more than I would have ever admitted. I suppressed the urge to lick the blood off my lips, to move at all, and held my breath instead. I was too late now.
It were moments like these when I realized how controlled Edward really was when around me and that he was right about how easily he could hurt me. It was when I got scared of him… until I could somehow focus on my trust in him. Edward wouldn't do anything to me, I was sure of it.
But it was hard to believe that when he was holding my face so fiercely that I was almost whimpering in pain, my back aching from the hard wood against my spine. It was then that my instincts told me to give up. Whatever I did to try and save my life, Edward was stronger than me.
When his gaze sunk unwillingly to my parted lips, I closed my eyes in surrender and the same instant I felt the tip of his tongue on me. I almost started in surprise. Edward moved his tongue along my bottom lip very deliberately, tasting the blood, and closed his mouth above mine when he swallowed. My heart was beating frantically now. Never had I imagined I could be so afraid of him, yet I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. He felt cool against my skin and his smell began to lure me in once again. He was kissing me with soft lips and when he lessened his hold on me and stroked my cheek with his thumb, I realized that he wouldn't cause any harm.
"Forgive me, Bella." He silently muttered and I felt him shaking, a sob escaping his throat. But it was like he wasn't able to stop anymore. Finally I exhaled the breath I was holding and relaxed against him, at the same time eager to answer his desperate kisses.
A dark passion had obviously taken possession of Edward. His body was still pressing into mine against the pillar and suddenly he slid his tongue in my warm mouth. I shivered uncontrollably when I felt his other hand at my waist, holding me in place, and then moving upward, exposing the skin there. A moan escaped my lips and the kiss was deepened once again until my head was swimming. His tongue was skimming the wounded lip again and again. Somehow I managed to lay my trembling hands on his chest, pushing just lightly and telling him it was too much to bear. He set my lips free and I took some deep breaths, but he moved along to my earlobe, laying both his hands flat on my bare back, inhaling the warm scent of me, flushed and fevered with passion.
"Bella. See what you're doing to me." He whispered against my throat. His rash breath was tickling me and I shivered again. Edward wrapped his arms tighter around me in response and held me closer.
"All my sanity is vanishing with only one glance from you." He sighed. Slowly, he stepped back and tagged me along with him, leaning against the railing. I sat beside him and raised my hand to brush back the strand of hair that was hiding his left eye. Taking in my confusion and guilt about causing this situation, he smiled his crooked smile at me again.
"What a lousy husband I will make, being constantly trapped between loving you passionately and devouring you whole." His face turned serious again and he begged me with his eyes to prove him wrong, to tell him he was forgiven.
Whatever doubts I had had about the marriage, had completely and entirely vanished from my consciousness. Edward was my sole reason for existence and the one person I would give my life for. I leaned forward to capture his lips once again and he responded warmly.
"As soon as we're married, there will be no restrictions, no reason to hold back anymore. And I'm very much looking forward to that day." I smiled up at him encouragingly and for once, he smiled back at me without even a trace of regret or doubt. He took my hand and kissed it lightly before picking me up from the railing and leading me back to the wooden table where the paper invitation cards for our wedding still waited. He took the seat opposite from mine and smiled heartening.
Surprisingly enough, the words flowed from my pen freely now. Edward watching my back and being at my side was everything I could wish for and I felt wonderfully cheerful whenever our wedding came to my mind…
This night I went to bed totally exhausted and my lips still burning from our last kiss.
A/N: I'm sorry. I'm perfectly aware that this is a cliffhanger, but I'm not intending to write any more of this story. If you feel like "hey, that's THE idea I was searching for", you have my permission to write a story that is following this storyline and send me the link :) I'll gladly read and review. Just don't post this anywhere else and claim it as your own!