Thomas, Percy, and the Strange Coal

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Thomas, Percy, or any other official Thomas & Friends Characters. I only own my own.

It was a lovely fall day in Sodor, with the cool crisp air, and clear skies broken only by the occasional cloud. Thomas and Percy were at Tidmoth Sheds preparing for the day's work.

"Thomas," said Percy, "were do you think we'll be working today? My driver hasn't told me any thing yet"

"I dunno," replied Thomas, "mine hasn't either"

Then the Fat Controller walked up. He was in a good mood. "Thomas, Percy, I want you to work at the new coal mine. I don't want the diesel engines working there yet, because the location is too distant to efficiently deliver fuel. When you get there, test out some of the new coal. From what I hear, it's supposed to be high quality." The Fat Controller turned and left.

Thomas and Percy grinned. They had heard about the mine, but they had thought it wouldn't be opened for a few more weeks.

"Meybe they found dun vein early," said Thomas' driver,"En aneh cese, this wull mach you two verr useful"

Thomas and Percy puffed off.

When the two engines arrived, the quarry foreman spoke to them. "I've been waiting for you two, the trucks are over there, and if you need any coal, the hopper is over there with a fresh batch from the mine"

A tall thin man walked up to Percy's driver, and told him some things.

"Who was that?" asked Percy. "That was a geologist," replied his driver. "A geowhat?" inquired Percy. His driver replied, "A Geologist is someone who studies the ground. He was warning me about the workers who are drilling underneath us. They haven't fully secured a section of tunnel, so we have to avoid a section of line over there." He pointed toward a section of track behind a shed.

"We won't have to go over there Percy, so let's get to work," said Thomas. And they did.

For the remainder of the day, Thomas and Percy shunted, and prepared trucks for filling the next day. They also carefully retrived trucks full of dirt from the mine. At the end of the day, Thomas and Percy parked beneath the engine shed.

"Well that was quite a job," puffed Thomas, "I'm out of steam"

"Me too," replied Percy, but before he could continue, he had fallen asleep.

The next day, the engine's firemen were shoveling new coal into Thomas' and Percy's fireboxes. The new coal heated surprisingly fast, but the two engines didn't wake up.

"Come on, you two, get up," the drivers sternly said.

But before they could repeat themselves, Percy opened his eyes, which were bloodshot.

"Whhhooooaaaahhh," Percy said, "Everythings all wavely"

The firemen looked at each other.

"Duuuude," replied Thomas, "Everything's all... slooow"

Thomas' fireman climbed down and went to the quarry office. Percy's crew began to smell something and climbed down as well.

"Blimey," said Percy's fireman, "it smells like me old college days"

"You mean," asked the driver, "this coal is actually"

Percy's fireman nodded. Thomas' driver hung out the window. "But derrs no wae it cood bae thaat kind o' graas"

"Well just have to wait for the geologist to see"

A few minutes later the fireman returned with the geologist. "My word," started the geologist, "This coal is actually fossilised marijuana. This coal is the most efficient coal I've ever seen, but it also releases the original THC. This totally changes our ideas on fossilization"

"Weeeeeee," said Percy, "I'm rolling baaaaackwaards"

And he was. He rolled right over the weak portion of track and sunk. He had no idea what had happened.

tweet tweet tooted Percy, "The sky is REALLY messed up, maaan"

The crews were paniking. "Not only has percy sunk, but Thomas and his high driver are taking the coal trucks!" the foreman shouted.

"Ach! The Fat Controller'll beh pleased with this batch a' coal!" said Thomas's Driver.

"Weeeeeeee," exclamed Thomas, "Imma choo choo"

"Hahaha, phtphttphph, I'm a Diesel!" wailed Percy, "Get me away from me"

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" screamed the 2 firemen, Percy's Driver, the foreman, the geologist, and 4 quarrymen, "It's a disaster"

But it wasn't.

When Thomas arrived with his special load of coal, the Fat Controller wasn't furious but delighted. "You see Thomas, when I received the call from the coal quarry, I was worried. If our engines use this coal, our accident rate will increase, and that's no good. However, I think the Island of Sodor's economy needs some 'stimulating,' so I'll have the coal exported to our friends, and hopefully by the time the other railways are destro- I mean, used their coal, we'll be the world's source of, erm, good clean, coal"

Thomas smiled, but it was probably from the coal.

"You've proved to be a really useful engine. Now go fish Percy out and bring back our future!" the Fat Controller said enthusiasticaly, as he rolled up some coal in some paper.

Play theme song

Note from narrator: My first story. I hope I kept it in spirit of the show. I will be writing more like the show itself, but I try to keep the humor in. I placed this at T rating, for drug use.