AN: I know you've waited forever for this update, so hopefully it won't be a let down! Keep in mind, this fic focuses mostly on the past, a lot of which is unknown.
Warning: mature content, may be disturbing to some readers. Nothing graphic, but hardly innocent
"You need anything?" Gibbs offered, helping Ziva into bed, "Tea? Water? Bourbon?" that last one got a smile out of her, "Well, not bourbon. Ducky'd have my hide if I gave you alcohol with your meds."
Ziva nodded in agreement, "And I have had enough of hospitals, thank you." she pulled back the covers, slipping in quietly, "Thank you for all of your help, but it really isn't necessary."
"Yes, it is. You need to take it easy," Gibbs insisted,drawing the blankets up tightly around her. She jumped slightly, moving away from him, "What? Didn't your dad ever tuck you in at night?" the playful smile on his face soon disappeared, seeing the look of panic and rage in her eyes. He'd never seen her like this. For his own safety, he took a step back, "Ziva?"
"Hannah!" Ziva pounded on her sister's door, demanding to be let in, "Open the door, I know you are in there, and I know you are awake!"
She could hear groaning from the other side as Hannah opened the door for her baby sister, "What?" she stepped back, letting Ziva in, "You're ten now, aren't you old enough to sleep alone in your own bed?" she knew she should be a little nicer to her, seeing as the past few weeks had been hard on all of them
"Aba is acting...very strange," Ziva sighed, sitting on her sister's bed, "He isn't talking right. His words are all kind of...mixed together. And he's bumping into things! Mossad officers are not clumsy; there's something wrong with him I think we need to call a doctor!
Hannah rubbed her eyes tiredly, "No, he isn't sick, Ziva." she sat down next to Ziva on the bed, "Look, Ima is gone. We can't change that," she wrapped her arms around her little sister, sensing the tears returning, "But Aba was married to her for fifteen years! That's a long time. Longer than you or I have been alive."
"So, he's just sad? But I'm sad too, and I am not crazy!" Ziva curled up against Hannah, trying to fight back tears again, which her sister kindly wiped away.
"He's just sad," Hannah confirmed,'and drunk' she mentally added, "Will you sleep in your own bed tonight? Be brave, for me and for Aba and Ima." she kissed Ziva's forehead, walking her back down the hall to her own room
"Still miss her, huh?" Ari had stepped out of his room, standing with his arms crossed in the doorway. He took pity on the poor girl, remembering his own mother's passing, "she's gone, but she's always in your heart," he gently picked up his sister, carrying her into her room and dropping her on her bed, "Now, go to sleep, okay? Laila tov, Ziva."
Laying awake, staring at the photo of her and her mother from her last birthday party, Ziva began to cry again. She knocked over the picture, not willing to look at it anymore. "Why did you have to die, Ima? We miss you, we need you!" she wailed
"Ziva?" she could hear her fathers voice as he pounded on her door, "Why are you crying?"
She got up off her bed and opened the door, "Sorry, Aba. I will be quieter." she knew he saw crying as a sign of weakness. Not once since her mother's passing had she seen him cry
"You look a lot like your mother, do you know that?" she stepped back a bit from him, not missing his slurred speech and wobbly stride.
"Aba, it is okay to be sad, but you are scaring me," she had backed herself into a corner, her father standing between her and the door, "Please, just stop! I miss my Aba, I don't even know what you are, but you are not my Aba." she crouched down, whimpering as he came closer
"Yes I am," he chuckled, picking her up and setting her on her bed, "Who else would I be?" he kissed her cheek languidly, and she could smell his foul breath, laced heavily with the scent of alcohol
"I don't know..." she was getting more than a little frightened now, scooting away from him, "Please, I am tired and want to go to sleep!" she tried a different approach, hoping that he would leave her alone
"Ziva, don't be afraid of me," he pushed her back onto the bed, "I would never hurt you..." his hands wandered down to her stomach, starting to pull at her nightgown
"Ari!" Ziva screamed, trying to push her father away
Her brother burst into her room, holding a gun to their father's head, "Get away from her!" he kicked the older man in the side, sending him reeling across the room, away from Ziva, "You try to teach your children morals, and yet this is what you do to them?! You are not fit to be a father, and I am ashamed that you are mine! She is a child! She is your child!" he continued to kick at his father, now laying in a drunken heap on the floor. Once he was fairly sure that their father couldn't get up, he turned to Ziva, softening his tone, "Ziva, go and find Hannah. Stay in her room until I come and find you."
Ziva starred at her father, laying motionless on her bedroom floor
"Ziva!" Ari shook her gently, "It is okay now, just go and find your sister. Tell her that I said to keep the door locked, and only open it for me, alright?" as their father began to rise to his feet, he spoke with more urgency, "Go, Ziva!"
"Ziva?" Ari called, knocking gently, "Hakol b'seder, you can come out now."
Hannah turned to Ziva, still obviously shaken, "It is okay, go unlock the door," she smiled, "If Aba were there, Ari wouldn't say it was safe."
Ziva nodded, unlocking the door and rushing into her brother's arms, "I want Ima back! He never did that before, the only thing that is different is that she is gone!" she tried to find some justification for this, but there was none. She looked up at her brother, noticing his split lip, "Are you okay?"
"Fine, fine. Just a little scratch. He's never done that before?" Ari asked, his fury simmering down a bit, "No? That is good. Did he hurt you?" he led her over to Hannah's bed, sitting her down, "Where did he touch you?"
Hannah pushed Ari aside, "Ari,if he did, she won't show you, you're a guy and you're her brother! Why don't you go and see if you can find her something to drink, she's pretty shaken up." Ari nodded, stepping out for a moment, "Where did he touch you?" she prodded gently
"He kissed me, but not like he has before," Ziva pointed to her cheek, "And he tried to take of my clothes."
"But he didn't hurt you?" Hannah breathed a sigh of relief, "Guess what? You can stay in with me tonight."
"Easy there," Gibbs held out his hands defensively, "You said yourself, you don't want to deal with any more hospitals." he tried to make light of the situation, which could turn volatile at any second
Ziva's mind came back to present day. She blinked a few times, remembering where she was. Who she was. She wasn't some scared little girl anymore, and she wasn't helpless and naive. She was safe, resting at Gibbs' place...with a gun trained on Gibbs? She immediately dropped the Sig in her lap, "I am sorry, Gibbs. I did not...I do not know..."
He sat down beside her, concerned but relieved, "Its okay," he assured her, taking her weapon away, just to be safe, "Whatever I said or did to freak you out, I'm sorry, okay?" he felt under her pillow, finding a knife tucked away as well, "If I give these back, you gonna point them at me?"
She shook her head, "No. I would never shoot you, Gibbs."
"Well, you almost did," he checked her Sig, noting that it was loaded with the safety off. Worried, he handed her weapons back, "You sure you're okay, Ziva?"
"Yes," she insisted, "Just...painful memories." she explained, knowing that he of all people would understand how the demons of the past could haunt you, even years later
"If you say so," he began to leave but stopped in the doorway, "If you need anything or want to talk, you know where I'll be."
Gibbs stood in his kitchen, waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to brew. It was going to be a long night. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than Ziva was letting on. He wanted to help her, but right now, she wouldn't let him. Worried, he picked up the phone, waiting for an answer on the other line.
"Jethro, please!" Ducky groaned tiredly, "Its late, and I'm hardly young anymore! Not that beauty rest will do a man such as myself any good..."
"Eh, sorry Duck," Gibbs dismissively answered, "Hey, you know the number of a good therapist?"
"Ah, yes, I knew it would come to this sooner or later," Ducky chuckled, "Finally coming to grips with your demons?"
"Nah, my demons and I are in a good place right now," Gibbs smiled, "Not for me, for Ziva."
"Ah," Ducky shook his head, "Not too surprising. She's been through quite a lot in such a short life. Might I ask though, why do you feel that she needs therapy now, or that she will respond to such a thing?" Ziva wasn't the type to admit she needed help, much less see a shrink. And trying to force her wouldn't end well for anyone
"Well, tonight she pointed a gun at me," Gibbs told him, "That tells me something's up."
"Oh, dear. Is she alright? Seeing as you're calling from home, I'm guessing you're fine,"he sighed tiredly, "I told her that tomorrow I would come and check her stitches, and remove them if they're ready. I will speak to her then, and hopefully we can get somewhere. But there's only so much I can do tonight, Jethro." he felt about as helpless as Gibbs did now, wanting to do more than he could
"I know, Duck," Gibbs rubbed his temple in frustration, "I know."