Disclaimer- I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or Star Wars.
We were on another wild goose chase when it all started. Still trying to find Haruhi's "Mysterious Phenonom" and once again found nothing. It wasn't a total loss; I got to spend a little more time alone with Asahina-san. which is always nice.
We returned to the meeting place to find Haruhi, Nagato and Koizumi waiting for us. Haruhi was pacing around impatiently. She, of course, had found nothing either and was clearly irriated by it.
" Did you
" No, we didn't." Did she really expect anything? Haruhi stared us through narrow eyes.
" I have a feeling you two didn't do any searching at all." Her arm snapped like a bullet to point at Asahina-san. " Well did you?!" The poor girl cowered and whimpered before the evil Haruhi. I had to step in to save her.
" We searched but didn't find anything-like always." Haruhi glanced from me to Asahina-san, for some reason more frustrated then usual.
"Oh well. Dismissed for today." She stomped off angerily.
" I'm afarid I have to leave now." Koizumi said "I hope you all have a good rest of the day."
" Closed Space?"
" Yep, a big one."
In all honesty, today was just like every other day we had wasted our time looking for werid stuff. But looking back, it was far from ordinary.
I spun around and saw a truck heading towards Haruhi-but she was too upset to hear it!
" Haruhi! Look out!" I yelled in mid stride. Haruhi turned to look at me and that's when she saw the truck.
SCREEEEECH! The truck wouldn't stop in time!
Just I was about to bid farewell to Haruhi Suzumiya, the truck flew backwards as if someone had thrown it. It soared off the ground and flipped over on its back.
" Haruhi, are you alright?!" I asked as I knelt beside her. For once, she looked to be at a loss for words. She just stared down at her hands. " Haruhi!"
" Yeah, I'm fine." She stood up as if she hadn't almost been run over. She didn't look scared at all, well she did at first, but now there was nothing but a thoughtful, curious look on her face. "There's something I need to do. Remember to come to the brigade meeting tomorrow or it's-"
" The Death Penalty, I know." I expected a back lash, but Haruhi didn't even seem to notice I interupted her. She just walked off with her hand to her chin.
did you do that?"
" Negative. The time between my notice of the truck approaching Haruhi Suzumiya and the truck flying was 0.01 seconds. Not enough time for data manipulation of such level. Futhermore I would not have caused such a comotion."
" I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means." Really Really hope.
" Did something happen?" I turned to see Koizumi.
" What are
you doing here? What happened to the Closed Space?"
" It vanished. I was on my way when one of my colleagues got a hold of me." Koziumi said. "When I heard the comotion I thought something happened to Suzumiya-san, but I take it that's not the case." I filled him in on what happened.
"Ah, I see. Suzumiya-san must have used her own power." That's what I was afaird of. " But I feel there's nothing we can do now. If it was just instinct we have nothing to worry about. But... if Suzumiya-san figures out her power..." He didn't need to finish. We all knew what would happen if Haruhi were to make that discovery.
The next day Haruhi was absent from our first class. It was actually kinda nice to be able to sit down without a moody god sitting right behind me. I could actually get some learning done...or fantasise about Asahina-san. No worrying about setting Haruhi off and causing a chain reaction that would result in giant blue monsters ripping the world apart.
But by our third class I was starting to worry. Haruhi wasn't injuired, I knew that for certain. I found myself wondering about where she was and what she was doing. I shook my head. Haruhi's fine, I pity anyone who tries to give her trouble. I went back to my daydreams about the lovely Asahina-san and her heavenly tea...but inevitably Haruhi would replace my sweet angel as if she had abducted her-which wasn't too far-fetched really.
When the school day ended and still no sign of Haruhi I decided I could take a break from the madness that seemed to emanate from the clubroom and go home instead. However just as I was leaving the school, my tie decided to have a life of its own and pulled me back inside. It was like some invisible hand had grabbed it and was dragging me along; similar to a certain someone...No...she couldn't possibly...My heart started beating faster as I saw the clubroom door. I opened on it's own accord and my jaw fell open.
There was Haruhi, mediating like a monk from some movie and wearing long white robes. That in and of itself wasn't strange. The strange part was she was meditating, four feet above the club table.
" Haruhi...how..." Haruhi's eyes snapped open.
" Ah, so you have arrived, Obi-one Kyonobi." She stared at me as a teacher dissapointed in a student. There was very little of her normal spark; which actually made me more nervous. My tie yanked me into the club room, the door closing behind me. "Padawan 's should not be so late to meetings. Such tardness deserves a penalty."
" Haruhi how are you doing this?!" Haruhi waved her hand mystically.
" The Force is strong with me." All the pieces suddenly snapped together; the robes, the meditating, the invisible yank on my tie: Haruhi thought she was a Jedi! I sighed and face palmed. Looking around I saw Koizumi and Nagato dressed in brown robes, but Asahina-san was dressed entirely differently. A white gown that seemed to highlight her natural beauty while at the same time remaining modest while her hair was in two buns at the side of her head. It was a good look for her.
I looked to Itsuki who just shrugged with that grin of his; I bet he caved instantly to this Star Wars kick Haruhi's in, he may even have come up with some ideas. Nagato, well she was as expressive as ever. And poor Asahina-san...well she does look stunning in that dress.
" Haruhi," I said, trying to focus my attention on our insane brigade leader. After all, if I don't stop her Darth Vader might walk through those doors." Are you going to tell us why you skipped out on class?" Haruhi closed her eyes again and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly.
" I felt the call of the living Force and felt I had to devote my time to probbing its mysteries." Haruhi said, once again in that bogus mystic tone. Her eyes then snapped open, full of that mischief I know and fear. " IT WAS AWESOME!" She started zomming around the club room, still floating. " When I got home I thought about what happened yesterday and the only logical explaination was that I had latent telekenetic powers!" Only Haruhi would think that was logical, but then again, the truck did flip completely over. " I tried it out when I got home and it worked like a charm." She stopped flying around and landed on her feet before me, at my eye level. She was apparently using her new powers to hover a few inches. I doubt she'll ever touch the ground again.
" It's so ironic!" Haruhi shouted. "All this time I was looking for espers," I exchanged a quick glance with Koizumi, who shrugged again. "Someone who had powers like these, when all along, I WAS AN ESPER!" There'll be no living with her now. " And so, today will go down in history as the founding day of the First SOS Brigade Temple. Which calls for a celebration!" The "Celebration" consisted mostly of Haruhi showing off her new powers in between bites of cake . When I wondered where she got it, I pictured her levitating cakes out of some poor bakery.
" That will be all for today. May the Force be with you." And with that Haruhi Forced the door open and floated out.
I groaned. " Please tell me you can erase her
"Negative." Our resident alien answered. "With anyone else it would be possible but Haruhi Suzumiya is too powerful and her mind is in constant flux." That's it. We're doomed.
" This might not be as mad you think." Koizumi said.
" Really?" What could possibily be good about Haruhi knowing about her powers?
" Suzumiya-san flying around will cause some problems but consider what kind of powers she's using: Telekenesis, not reality changing; Because it was telekinesis that saved her from the truck. She believes herself to be an esper, not a god, and so the world is still safe from destruction."
" Yeah but I don't how how long it'll last with Haruhi the Esper either." I countered.
" Yes things will get a little more interesting-" Is that what you want to call it? "-now that Suzumiya-san has telekinesis and that is precisely what what will keep the world safer then before."
" You lost
" Think about it for a second: Why is Suzumiya-san looking for Espers, Aliens, and Time Travelers in the first place?"
I was about say, 'Because she's insane.' when that day at the railroad tracks flashed in my mind. We had just left Asakura's former apartment and Haruhi suddenly opened up to me. 'Everything that I found so fun and interesting was happening exactly the same way to everyone all over the world'.
Haruhi wants to find something special, she wants to be special.
" Exactly." Koizumi replied. " Her previous state of melancholy arose from a lack of weridness, but now she discovers herself to possess a most werid power. Showing off her Force, calling herself a Jedi, making the clubroom a temple, all these things make her feel as if she has finally made herself into something special, that all her hard work"Hey! I've been doing all the work! "has paid off. Thus her emotions should stablize and-"
"No more Closed Space." I finished. Why couldn't he just get to the point?
" Yes, no more Closed Space." he picked up his bag and started for the door. " Of course, now we have to be on the look out for Sith Lords."
I really hope he was joking.
The Haruhi that greeted me in class the next day was a strange one, this Haruhi had a large smile on her face. Not the usual one mind you, the mischievous one that always gets me into trouble. A truly happy smile, like all her dreams had come true. She looked my way and her smile got even happier, her eyes lit up and everything.
" Good morning Kyon." ...I must have running too hard to get to school. That's it. That's why my heart is beating so much faster.
" Suzumiya-san! Care to explain why you were absent yesterday?" Uh-oh.Okabe-sensei was notorious for being a stickler for attendance, Haruhi would get a detention at least. But she just smiled and waved her hand.
" You do not need to know why I was absent." Okabe-sensei's eyes glazed over, like he was in a trance. She's couldn't be...she's only supposed to have telekensis!
" I don't need to know why you were absent."The Okabe-sensei replied. Suddenly Haruhi's beautiful, peaceful smile was twisted into her usual evil smirk.
" You will not ask for my homework." The little manpipulator continued, still waving.
" I will not ask for your homework." It's the end of the world. It really is.
" Class is starting." Haruhi said.
" Class is starting." Okabe-sensei's eyes unglazed and glared at the,seemingly, young girl before him. " Take your seat, Suzumiya-san." Haruhi smiled sweetly in returned and bowed.
" Yes, Sensei." Haruhi fairly strutted to her seat as the class watched her in awe. Great. As if her ego wasn't big enough already.
However the really strange thing was nobody seemed to notice that Haruhi's pencil was taking notes for her, or that she was hovering slightly above her seat. I guess Haruhi's so strange everybody half expected her to do something like this eventually. Or maybe they're just too scared to do anything about it.
" Do you really think you should be doing that?" I whispered.
" And why shouldn't I?" Haruhi crossed her arms.
" Some one will think you're a demon or something."
" A demon huh?...We could use one of those in the club. " My heart skipped a beat...Oh no...what have I done? I turned around and saw Haruhi's hand to her chin, deep in thought. She actually looked kinda cute like that...
" Haruhi! You know demons don't exist!" Maybe if I could tell her how silly it was, her practial nature would take over. It was my only hope.
" Well The Force doesn't exist either, now does it?" So much for hope. Haruhi's smirk was just so smug. I don't care what Koizumi says, Haruhi having this power is a slippery slope; first these powers, then demons, what next?...scratch that. I really don't wanna know.
" So what;s
up with Suzmiya?" Taniguchi asked after class
" What do you mean?"
" She was FLOATING above her desk! Did she finally make contact with her aliens?"
" Something like that." I muttered.
" You don't seem surprised by all this...but then again, you are her henchman." Groan, don't remind me.
When I walked
into the club room this time, I saw everyone wearing full body rubber
suites. What madness is she up to now?
" Do you really wanna know?" Koizumi smiled.
" Probably not." I took that as a que to leave, but my tie had other ideas.
" Kyon! Because you were late my training is off schedule! PENALTY!" Haruhi lifted me off the floor, almost strangling me by my tie.
" Yes! Now that I have discovered my powers it is my duty to see how far they reach!" That sounds ominous. Haruhi droped me to the floor " I saw Yoda make lightening with is Force, so I should be able to as well!"
" But Haruhi, that's just a movie!"
" Experitmentation," Haruhi as she lifted a finger, "that is how we shift fact from fiction." Despite how much sense that makes, 'fact' and 'fiction' really mean the same thing with you.
" Then what do you need me for?" Haruhi shoved a bottle and key into my hands. Oh no
" Hold this, that's all." Don't I get a rubber suit?! Haruhi already looked to be charging up; Glowing with a blue aura, cackling with electrcity. I quickly though about running when I saw Nagato's lips moving sliently. I sighed in relief. Nagato should be able to handle this, I'm saved.
Haruhi made some movements she got off some american-style anime before pointing at me, and a lightening bolt shot straight at me! Somehow it changed directions and went into the bottle instead of me. Haruhi smirked; She, of course, thought it was her own aim, not Nagato's intervention.
This continued several times untill Haruhi was panting and sweating. A lot of those bolts came periously close to hitting me, but none of them did thanks to Nagato. " All right Kyon, take a break." You're the one that looks like they need a break. Haruhi sat down and ordered Mikuru to make some tea. I sat down with relief, Asahina-san's tea is the reason I come every day. She's adorable no matter what she wears. Unfortunately I barely had time to enjoy the wonderful tea before Haruhi yelled.
" Break's over!" and I was back to being target practice untill Nagato slamed the book she was reading signaling the end of the meeting.
" See you all tomorrow!" Smiling cheerfully Haruhi floated out of the clubroom.
" How she can suddenly shoot lightening from her fingers? And she was mind controling Okabe-sensei earlier today."
" Haruhi Suzumiya can alter reality by turning her thoughts in data." Nagato replied. " Any thought she has can alter the surrounding data and bring her idea to life. In the past, Haruhi Suzumiya has always believed herself to be an ordinary person and thus her thoughts mantained the surrounding data in such a manner. However, give the event with the truck, she now has reason to believe herself to be an esper and thus her thoughts altered her data accordingly."
" Suzumiya-san can have any power she can logically believe herself to have." Koizumi translated. " Since she knows herself to have telekinesis all she needs is to watch a Star Wars flick and see the Jedi using mind control and lightening as well as telekineiss for her to believe herself to have those powers as well. I think, therefore, I am."
think it's a good idea for her to be an esper?"
" Those were the only three powers of a Jedi right? I don't think we have anything to worry about."
" There's nothing to worry about." Koizumi repeated. I guess he didn't want to think about it. Actually I didn't want to either, so I let it drop.
So it continued for the rest of the week, Jedi Master Haruhi and her padawongs. All the while she was unbearably happy, even giggling as she used me for target practice. I can't say which scared me more.
Well Koizumi got a break from Closed Space and Mikuru wasn't harrased either. I looked as if Haruhi becoming an 'esper' really was a good thing after all.
But of course, nothing with Haruhi Suzumiya is that simple. It was only a matter of time before something came to bite us, and that something came the following saturday.