(A/N: Hey everyone! Well I had my first RENT story called 'Moving On' (I started last week) but it wasn't working so I deleted it and have come up with this story instead. So I hope you enjoy and PLEASE if you have the time I would love to know what you think, good or bad as this is my first RENT story! Thank you!!!! TKAMB aka Becky)

Chapter 1:

February 1991

This was it. This was the moment Roger had been dreading since Mimi recovered from her fever at Christmas. It had been only been two months since that day but somehow it felt longer. All the gang had lived everyday of those two months as if it were their last and had gone through emotions they had never thought they would ever feel. "She's asking for you" Maureen said coming out of Mimi's room. The gang had gathered in Roger and Mark's apartment which Mimi had been sharing with them since she became too ill to live alone. They had begged Mimi to go into hospital for days but she wouldn't goAs he entered the room he could hear her shaky breathing which always sent a dull pain to the pit of his stomach. They had talked about her dying every day since returned at Christmas so everything had been said but the feeling that there was so much more to say hit Roger like a tonne of bricks

"Roger?" she asked in barley a whisper. He sat on the edge of her bed the same as he had that fatal Christmas Eve two months prior and softly stroked her hair.

"I'm here its ok; I've got you" he whispered as tears began to fall from her eyes

"I'm scared" she admitted which started Roger crying

"Me too but I'm not going anywhere, I love you; Can I get you anything?" she shook her head

"Just lay with me ... Please" Roger nodded and lay behind her so Mimi's back was pressed up against his chest. He felt her shivering through her tears so he brought the thick blanket on the bed up further to cover her torso before wrapping his arms around her

"Better?" he asked and Mimi slowly nodded. Roger began to hum 'Your Eyes' to comfort Mimi but the further he got through the song the more tears fell from his eyes. Suddenly Mimi went silent making Roger stop. "Mimi? ... Mimi?" he asked and rolled her to look at him. Her eyes were half open and a soft smile was on her face. "Oh Mimi" he began to cry causing the others in the next room to enter. Roger held Mimi close as the others comforted one another. It was a night none of them would forget and would haunt Roger constantly

June 1991

"MIMI" Roger yelled sitting up in bed, beads of sweat pouring down his face. Sunlight filled the room as Roger panted heavily and he realised he was alone in his room which he and Mimi had shared. His dreams were getting worse of late. He kept on envisioning Mimi fading away in front of him but as he reached out to save her a wall blocked his way. After a few moments Roger stood up and began to make his way to the bathroom. He felt light headed as he hadn't eaten for a couple of days so it was a tremendous effort to cross the apartment. He didn't notice the days anymore or the time. When he was awake he considered it to be day and when he went to sleep it was night. "You ok Roger?" Mark's voice came from across the living room but Roger couldn't stop to talk to him. As soon as he entered the bathroom he was violently sick in the toilet. Mark rushed in carrying a glass of water which he placed on the sink. All Mark could do was rub his friends back and wait for Roger to finish. It didn't take long and Roger slumped against the bath with his eyes closed. "Here, drink some of this" Mark handed Roger the water who only drank a small amount. "When was the last time you took your medication?"

"Mark I have no clue what the day is so how can I answer that question?" Roger muttered with his eyes still closed

"Can you get up at least?" Mark asked

"Just ... just give me a minute" Mark sat in front of his best friend watching him intensively. "I think I can get up now" Mark place Roger's right arm around his neck and helped Roger to the sofa. "I'm sorry" Roger muttered startling Mark. Roger had hardly ever said he was sorry to Mark since they had meet years earlier. There was a silent sorry that each understood when a situation occurred for one to feel such a feeling

"It's ok. Joanne was looking for you earlier, something to do with a letter for you. Look I'll make you something to eat and get your meds. Then we are going out to meet the others"

"Do we have to?" Roger asked with a groan

"Yes, you need some fresh air. It'll do you good. Besides, with Joanne looking for you what she has to say will interest everyone"

"Yeah because my life is so interesting!" Roger joked laughing softly

"I'd rather pay to see a show about your life then mine alright!" Mark responded and handed a plate of toast to Roger. "Now I want you to eat every slice and I mean EVERY slice"

"Yes mom!"

-----

Roger strolled into Joanne's office wearing his usual jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket as well as thick sunglasses as the daylight affected his sensitive eyes and made his head ache intensively. "Hey Roger, it's good to see you" Joanne said approaching him and gave him a hug

"Good to see you too. Sorry if I sound rude but I have a killer headache do you mind if we hurry up with whatever this whole situation is?" he asked and Joanne lowered her head

"I don't think that is going to be possible since I'm your legal representative. Sit down" Roger did as he was told and felt tense all of a sudden. "Roger do you know a woman called Sarah Morris?" the name instantly hit him and made him smile

"Yeah, we were friends all through school but we fell out when I met April. I haven't seen her in years though"

"Roger, I'm sorry but she died recently of AIDS" Roger was not prepared for what he had just heard and slumped back in his chair. Roger had to turn his head away from Joanne and began to bite his nails. "Why does this concern my legal representative exactly?" he asked after a moment of silence

"Because she left her will in an envelope with your name on it. It states that a full explanation and will is in the letter addressed for your eyes only. I can't deal with the matter until you read the letter" Joanne handed the cream colour A4 envelope which was thick and heavy to Roger who stared at it for a while. "How long do I have to respond to this?"

"As long as you need; but as she was in another state when she died the legal proceedings are compromised so the sooner the better. We'll see you tonight at the Life Cafe?" Joanne asked to which Roger nodded

"Thanks Joanne" he said softly and hugged her

"Anytime"

-----

Sitting the middle of Central Park Roger stared at the envelope. Even if he did not know who it was from he knew it was Sarah as her wispy handwriting had not changed since her childhood. He had thought of Sarah every now and ten but since hearing her name in Joanne's office he thought about the last time he saw her

FLASHBACK

"You have got to be kidding me! April? The girl from the gig the other night? You and April?" Sarah yelled as Roger glared at her in a club. They were doing a sound check on a club they were going to perform in that night in New York. Sarah was a few inches smaller then Roger with short blonde hair and clear blue eyes. She was one of the bands singers and bass players

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Roger responded lowering his guitar to the ground

"Are you insane? Everyone knows she has a reputation. She'll destroy you Roger; I've known you too long to watch that happen" Sarah explained turning her back on him

"Are you jealous?" Roger asked making Sarah turn back to him

"Go to hell Roger!"

"You are aren't you? You never let me have my own life do you? All these years it has been what you want to do and where we can go, it has never anything to do with what I want!"

"What you want? A lay and a shot of Heroine every few hours? Oh bravo Roger! Nice choice! I've been with you and the band since we started out. I followed you Roger not the other way so don't you fucking dare make me out to be the bad guy!" She walked across the stage and grabbed her jacket

"Where are you going?" he asked

"As far away from you as possible! I'm gone, I can't handle anymore of your chaos, ten years is as much as I can handle"

"Oh don't be stupid! I know you Sarah! You'll turn back around as you always do and be my friend once more" when she didn't turn around Roger began to panic. "Don't do this! Please?" he asked

"I hope she was worth it Roger I really do. Have a nice life" she said through tears and ran out of the club never to be seen by Roger again

END OF FLASHBACK

Roger took a deep breath and peeled open the envelope. He couldn't help smile being reminded of the fun he had in the past through the paragraphs she had written on the pages. It was when he got to the second page that his smile quickly faded. "Oh Sarah, why did you do it?" he muttered and headed for the apartment