Disclaimer: Not mine. 'Nough said.
The One Where The Entire Gryffindor Common Room Lusts After Harry Wearing Quidditch Pants and Hermione is Persuasive
When Ron walked into the Gryffindor common room, dripping wet and covered in mud, he was a little more than surprised to see several fallen faces, hear quite a few groans and curses, and be met with an overall utter disappointment.
"Oi! I'm not that terrible-looking, am I?"
No one answered; it did little to boost his confidence.
Dejectedly, he walked over to the small, overstuffed couch where he found Hermione, Ginny, Lavender, Parvati, and Padma crammed into a space clearly meant for three.
"You know, there are more places to sit." Ron remarked, suddenly realizing how full the side of the common room closest to the portrait hole was. "Look," he added, pointing to several open chairs on the other side of the room, "there are plenty of seats over there."
Lavender actually rolled her eyes at him. "We can't very well see from over there, now, can we?"
"Huh?" Ron asked, intelligently.
"It's not important Ron." Ginny quickly added. "Do you know where Harry is?"
He was startled to find he now had several pairs of eyes upon him; even Hermione looked up from her book.
"Uh—erm—he stayed behind to work on a few plays. I was knackered, so I left him behind—said he didn't mind. 'Sides," he added with a grin, "I need a shower."
"That's for sure." Ginny mumbled under her breath.
Ron looked at her oddly "Wait—how'd you get back here from practice so fast?" He then did a double take. "And how'd you change so fast? And why?"
"So many questions Ronald." She waved him off. "Do you know if Harry will be back soon?"
"You're the one with the questions! Why the sudden interest in Harry, anyways?"
"It's hardly sudden," quipped Parvati with a grin. The rest of the girls chuckled.
Ron had the distinct impression that he was missing something.
"What's going on?" He demanded. "And why are you here?" He barked at Padma.
"I'm here for the same reason everyone else is." She replied sharply.
""Not everyone." Hermione stressed. Ron was surprised to find she was blushing slightly.
Loud shouts of disbelief followed her statement.
"Oh, please, Hermione. Don't even bother." Ginny scoffed.
"Oh, honestly! Fine, fine." Hermione shut her book and threw it on the table in front of her.
Lavender actually let out a cheer. "That's it, girl! Don't be ashamed! Embrace it!"
Ron, ready to tear his hair out in frustration, opened his mouth to ask, yet again, what the girls were going on about, when the portrait door opened.
The entire common room went still, eyes fixed on the door.
Seamus rushed through.
A chorus of groans broke out.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Seamus panted, clearly out of breath, but then grinned widely. "I guess I didn't miss it then."
Parvati shook her head. "No, you lucky bloke you. We've been sitting here for ages."
Seamus, still grinning widely, moved to sit on the rug in front of the fireplace next to a younger girl Ron had never seen before. He then noticed she was wearing Hufflepuff robes.
"Alright! Merlin's beard! What the hell is going on?"
"Ron! Could you be any more dense?" Ginny groaned out. "We're waiting for Harry, you pratt!"
"Harry?" Ron replied stupidly. "All of you?" He paused, scrunching up his face. "Is this a surprise party?"
The entire room groaned.
"Never mind, never mind." Ginny sighed.
"While you're here though," Padma abruptly started, "perhaps you could be of some use while we wait. Does Harry really have a Hippogriff tattoo on his chest?"
Ron gaped at them.
"Of course he doesn't." All the eyes in the room swiveled to Hermione who seemed to regret speaking at once.
"And how would you know that, dear Hermione?" Lavender asked with a raised eyebrow.
Hermione huffed. "Oh, honestly! I live in the same house as him most of the summer. I'm sure Ginny and Ron have seen him shirtless loads of times as well."
Ginny sighed wistfully. "If only I could be so lucky. I only saw him once, and fleetingly."
"Does he have a brilliant body?" One girl asked from the crowd.
"Of course he does!" Called Seamus from the floor, "You think Quidditch is easy on the abs?"
A sneaking suspicion of the nature of this seemingly impromptu gathering crept into Ron's mind.
"Hang on—you lot are here just to drool over Harry!"
"Brilliant deduction Holmes." Hermione muttered sarcastically.
Ron looked over at her with wide eyes. "And you—you—he's your best friend! You can't—he's not a piece of meat, Hermione!"
Hermione shrugged, a strange look in her eyes. "That certainly doesn't mean I'm blind."
"You can't blame her, Ron." Piped in Ginny with a faraway look. "It's the Quidditch pants—all self-control goes out the window at the sight of Harry Potter in Quidditch pants."
A collective sigh went up in the room.
"Especially," added Lavender, "Harry Potter in wet Quidditch pants."
"Can you imagine him in only his Quidditch pants?" Drooled Padma. "Oh, the things I would do—"
This time, the collective sigh was more of a collective moan.
Ron was a tad more than disturbed.
"I think I'd pay 5 galleons just to see him without a shirt, wearing those pants."
"5? I'd pay 10."
"I'll get his shirt off if you pay me 20 galleons." Everyone turned to look at Hermione; she shrugged. "What? It wouldn't be hard."
"You get him to take it off, today? Here in the common room?"
Lavender looked at her suspiciously. "I don't believe you."
"Okay then, I guess you all really don't want to see—"
"Wait!" Parvati and Padma interrupted simultaneously.
"We'll pay you, Hermione!"
"After you do it, that is." Padma added.
"Fine." Hermione said with a smirk. "Just you wait."
Ron began to think he was in the middle of a very, very strange dream. Admittedly, he couldn't think why in his dream every girl in Hogwarts, including Hermione (Hermione!), would be lusting after his best mate. Perhaps nightmare was a better term.
They didn't have to wait long, as this time, when the portrait door opened, Harry stepped through.
As much as Ron hated to admit it, now that he was specifically looking for it, he could see why everyone was acting so barmy about Harry in his Quidditch pants. They did fit him rather well—really well, in fact. They stuck to his body in every place possible, showing off his rather impressive backside and large— Ron spun around quickly, grimacing.
Every single person in the room stared in the opposite direction, at Harry. He actually heard Padma let out a small gurgle. Ginny merely sighed, looking completely blissful.
Hermione's reaction disturbed him most of all.
He couldn't recall ever seeing Hermione look at anyone like that before. Her eyes were slightly darkened to a deep chocolate brown and they held a spark of—something—a mixture of unrestrained lust, appreciation, and determination.
Ron rather wished she would look at him like that. Hell, he wished anyone would look at him like that.
Hermione suddenly stood, giving a significant look to the girls beside her, and walked over to Harry, who was obliviously cleaning his boots off with a spell and shaking the water out of his hair.
"Good practice, Harry?"
He grinned; Ron heard the thump of a body hitting the floor coming from behind the couch.
"Not bad, but rather wet."
"Oh, I imagine." Hermione purred.
"And dirty too, I take it."
"Yeah." Said Harry with another grin. "Really dirty."
Behind him, Parvati let out a strangled moan.
"You know," Hermione began, sounding far too innocent, "I have a fantastic potion upstairs that could get all those stains out, even the old ones."
"Really? Could I borrow it?"
"Oh, just give me your shirt and I'll do it for you." She stated matter-of-factly, holding out a hand.
Lavender began to pray.
"Erm—" He looked around, finally noticing that everyone in the common room was watching him like a dragon watches her egg. "Now?"
"Sure." Ron wondered how Hermione could sound so nonchalant when just moments before she had been looking at Harry with that look in her eye.
"Come on, Harry. I promise I'll work on it really hard for you."
Harry must have caught something in the way Hermione was looking at him, for suddenly, he gulped and looked a bit flustered. "Erm—really hard?"
"You know—" She breathed. "On cleaning it."
Harry swallowed heavily. "Oh—well." He gripped the bottom of his shirt.
"YES!" Screamed one of the girls.
Harry stopped, looking at the crowd strangely.
"I—Just won!" The girl called out weakly. "Chess, that is."
Harry's gaze shifted to Hermione, who shrugged with a small smirk on her face. Harry repeated the gesture and whipped his shirt over his head.
"This is so worth 20 galleons."
A camera flash went off.
Harry didn't appear to notice. He was staring intently at Hermione who was looking up at him with a smile that could only be described as naughty.
Ron wondered where this side of Hermione had come from and how he could manage to see more of it.
"Thanks, Harry." She grabbed the shirt that he held limply in his hand and stood on her tiptoes to whisper something into his ear—something that Harry apparently appreciated, for the look in his eyes as he watched her saunter away was positively feral.
The entire episode made Ron feel a bit bothered.
Harry, sans shirt, glanced around once more, and then quickly left the room, heading up the stairs to their dorm.
The entire common turned to watch him go.
"Well," started Ginny, after a moment, "Hermione sure can be persuasive when she wants to."
Ron couldn't help but agree.
A/N: Just a silly little thing I wrote when I was in the middle of writing a terribly angsty story. It'd be best to just forget about the whole thing and move on. Cheers!