Labyrinth, Boosh Style.

Summery- After Vince annoys him too much with songs from the film 'Labyrinth', Howard finally yells at Vince and tells him to grow up. Vince then wishes the goblins will take him away, which results in Howard's disappearence and a quest to defeat the goblin king. Next in my crossover stories.

Disclaimer- Noel and Julian owns the Boosh, and Jim Henson owns Labyrinth. Lucky sods.

Author's Notes- Vince won't fancy Jareth, Jareth will just fancy Vince instead if that makes any sense lol. thanks for all the reviews so far :) also fetures the song 'witin you', another good slash song


Chapter Eight- The Junk Lady, the Goblin City and Home.

Jareth stormed into his throne room in a rage, smacking goblins upside the head, making them run out in fright. He was so close to maing Vince his, he should have made the drug more powerful, only enough to keep Vince forgetting his mission until the time was up. His rage started to disappear as he remember the softness of the smaller man's lips on his, the way his hips ground into his own as he sqeezed Vince's ass.

Jareth sat on his throne and close his eyes, keeping those memories close to him. But he knew it was only a matter of time before Vince would come for his friend, and he would be ready this time.


Hoggle was sitting on a rock next to a small river, his head in his hands and in distress "He'll never forgive me! I've lost my only friend, what have I done?"


Vince woke up after a couple of minutes, he tried to remember what happened to him and how he wound up in a junk heap but nothing came to him.

"Oi, get off my back!" A screechy voice called out from behind him. He leapt up to see an old goblin lady with junk tied on her back "Why don't you watch where you're going, young man?"

"I was looking for something, but I can't remember what" Vince answered, confusion in his eyes.

"You can't look where you're going, if you don't know where you're going" The old hag replied "Maybe you were looking for these?" She held out a pair of black boots with silver heels and silver stitching running up, with stars on the sides.

"Yes, that must have been it, thank you" Vince said, taking them off her and hugging them close.

"Now, why don't you come in here and see if there's anything else you like?" The goblin lady indicated to a old, wooden door and pushed it open. Vince, curious as ever, went inside and found he was back in his room at the flat. He ran over to the bed, layed down on it and closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened them again.

'Must have been a dream, I better see if Naboo and Bollo are back yet' Vince thought as he went over to his bedroom door, he opened it to reveal the junk lady.

"Better stay in here, there's nothing you want out there" She said, making her way in. Vince hugged his boots closer to him, afraid of the new creature in his room and sat down by his vainty table and watched the old lady.

"Let's see what's in here then? Oh, your Nicky Clark straighteners, very important. And your bottle of goth juice and root booster, better not forget them, and your art set, you love your art set" As she named these, she placed them in Vince's lap. But he was thinking of something more important "I was looking for something, or someone"

Vince then spotted a picture of him and Howard outside this new nightclub where they did one of their gigs. Their arms were around each other's shoulders and both were smiling brightly, this made something click in his mind "What's the matter, dear? Don't you like all your stuff?" The screechy voice called out again, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Now, now. This is your most prized possesion, isn't it?" She passed him a silver hand mirror with small red, green and blue jewels around the side, on the back was a message which read- 'Happy birthday, electro poof, from Howard".

"Howard...That's who I'm looking for. I have to save my mate" As Vince shouted this out, the walls of his room collapsed and revealed the junk yard outside. He heard voices through a hole behind him "My sir, are you alright?" He smiled as he climbed through the hole and saw Ludo and Sir Didymus witing for him, he hugged them both tightly with joy.

"Where are we?" Vince asked, still smiling dispite their situation.

"Look my sir, over there. The walls to the goblin city" Didymus cried out. They then set off quickly, knowing they don't have much time left, not notising Hoggle behind them, coming to say sorry.


They got to the gates in record time, a guard in armour was asleep outside, still holding his spear and with the gates open. Sir Didymus automatically started barking and growling, trying to start a fight.

"Ssh, you'll wake the guard and we don't need that right now. We need to get in quietly" Vince whispered, tying to calm his friend down.

"Open up, open up right now! I'll fight them all to the death if they wake up" He whacked the sleeping guard with his staff, not really getting a reaction and keep barking.

"Please, for my sake be quiet" Vince pleaded, making the dog-fox guard give up his own fight "Of course my sir"

They started moving into the city, only for the gates to slam shut in their faces. An imprint of a huge robot came together and started talking "Who goes?"

No one answered, but Didymus started barking and growling again. This made the robot move and grab a huge mace that laid by the wall by the gates, lifting it high. Everyone moved back, only for spikes to shoot up and trap them in the middle. Ambrosious shoot off like a northen bullet, leaving his owner only and trying to call him back.

The robot kept swinging his mace around, nearly hitting everyone who didn't fall to the floor in time. Vince felt this was the end, he'd come so close and then he saw Hoggle running on the wall above the robot and jumped down on top of it. He opened the top and pulled out the goblin steering it and put himself in place of it. He made the robot accidentally whack it's mace into the above wall, trapping it and making it explode. Luckily he got out before it did.

"Hoggle, you alright mate?" Vince asked, going to him and helping him up.

"I ain't pround of myself and I ain't asking to be forgiven. Jareth made me give you that peach, I told you I was a coward and I ain't interested in being friends" The dwarf admitted, looking away.

"I forgive you" Vince said simply, maing Hoggle turn to him in surprize. He could see truth in those deep blue eyes of the goth and smiled "You-you do?"

"And I commend you. Never have I seen such corage, you are indeed valiant, sir Hoggle" Sir Didymus admitted.

"Hoggle and Ludo friends" The huge beast admitted too. Hoggle never felt so loved, even when Vince gave him back his bracelet of jewels.

"Well then, let's get that rat who calls himself Jareth then" They all agreed and made their way in once more (they had to wait until the dog-fox guard got his steed back first, promising him it was safe).


"Your highness, your highness!" A goblin guard rushed into Jareth's throne room "The young man's here, who ate the peach that made him forget everything. He's with Sir Didymus, the dwarf and the monster and they're making their way to the castle right now"

Jareth shot up in his chair like a shot and glanced at the clock, only an hour to go before all his plans could be ruined "Stop him, hide the prisoner, but don't hurt him. I want him here alive after that hour as gone"


Inside the city, all was quiet. No-one was about, making the job easy- too easy. Then four lancers came out of no-where, blocking their way and to their sides were goblins manning cannons "Fire when ready" The cannons exploded, sending iron balls toward the group, just missing and destroying a fountian instead.

"Quick this way!" Vince yelled, running down an alleyway with Ludo and Hoggle following him. Didymus stayed behind and stared down the guard, but his steed had other ideas and shot off the other direction "Where are you going? The battle's the other way"

Goblins started pouring out of the castle and houses, wielding armour and weapons. Vince and the others were ducking iron balls and goblins by going through other alleyways.

Didymus however, was having no such luck "Ambrosious, if you don't turn around, I will never feed you again" This got the sheepdogs attention and he stopped and turned around to face the four lancers from before, surrounding them. Didymus stared down the leader and charged forwards, his staff outward and knocking the leader down. He cheered for his victory, but never saw the sign hanging down from a buliding and was whacked into it, making fall off his steed.

"Where Didymus? We have to find him" Vince said, still running down allyways until they came to a large building unlocked "Quick in here!" He and Hoggle got in fine, but Ludo had to stay outside "How's Ludo meant to get in?" Hoggle asked, his question answered as the orange creature opened the side of the house and let himself in, then closing it back behind him. Ludo then found room for himself by removing the roof of one of the towers and poking out of it.

Inside the house, Vince and Hoggle were trying to get rid of the goblins by throwing things at them through holes in the walls "Ludo, call the rocks!" Vince called out, the beast getting the messege and starting roaring.

Meanwhile, Didymus was having trouble trying to get his steed to come out of a house he was hiding in "Unlock this door right now!" He yelled, then turned to see the lancers from before behind him "So, Had enough have you? Throw down your weapons and I'll see your treated fairly" The lancers turned away when they heard banging noises coming from bind the main gates of the city, which opened to reveal many rocks, most large rolling towards them and knocking them down.

The rocks rolled through the city, knocking over many other goblins and destroying cannons. Jareth watched from the window in his throne room at the carnage that was happening, knowing hat he was losing.

Vince, Hoggle and Ludo made their way out of their makeshift fortress and went for the stairs which led to the castle, minding out the way of the rolling rocks "Sir Didymus!" Vince called out, worried for his friend, but his worry was replaced by joy when he saw the guard riding towards them on his faithful-ish sheepdog steed.

They made their way up the stairs and into the castle, walking until they found themselves in the throne room- with no-one in it "He must have gone that way" Vince moaned, pointed to a hallway going off to the side.

"Let's go then" Hoggle said, but was stopped "No, I need to face him alone. It's me he wants, I'm not letting you guys get hurt because of that"

"If that's the way it must be done, then that's the way you must do it" Didymus said wisely "But should you need us..."

"Yes, if you need us..." Hoggle repeated. Vince smiled sadly at his friends "I'll call you, thank you all, I couldn't have done it with you" He hugged them tightly once more before making his way through the hallway.


When he got to the next room, it confused him throughly. Stairs and archways made it up, but some were sideways, some upside down. He started down some stairs and pasted an archway, then up some more stairs ending up at a dead end ledge. Looking over the edge, he saw Jareth hanging upside down, a smirk on his face.

"How you've turned my world, you precious thing,

You starve and near exhaust me,

Everything I've done, I've done for you!

I move the stars for no one, you've run so long, you've run so far,

Your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel,

Though I do beileve in you, yes I do.

Live without your sunlight, love without your heartbeat,

I...I can't live within you"

Jareth disappered, then reappeared again behind Vince a few feet away, then walk through him and scaring him more. Vince ran away down some more stairs away from him, only to get to another dead end ledge, with Jareth appearing again from underneath the ledge.

He held up a crystal and threw it down some stairs where it bounced until it was caught by a still in-trance Howard, shocking Vince "Howard!" He called out, running down more stair and through archways. He could see Howard walking sideways up stairs and standing upside down under ledges. Vince kept climbing higher to get to his friend and his heart almost stopped when he saw Howard standing dangerously near a large hole below him, so he no choice but to jump.

He kept falling and watching in mazement as the room broke into pieces. He landed safely on his feet and saw Jareth appear out of the shadows, now wearing white feathered clothing "Give me bck my friend"

"I have been generous up to now, but I can be cruel" He smirker, moving closer to the smaller man, enjoying his slight fear and anger.

"What have you done that's generous?" Vince spat out, suddenly afraid when he saw the dark look in the goblin king's eyes.

"Everything, everything you wanted I have done. I took your friend away from you when you wanted him gone, I have recorded time, I have turned the world upside down and I did it for you!" Jareth almost yelled, taking pleasure at the flinch Vince gave.

"I have had enough of living up to your expectations and now I want my reward for it" In a flash, he grabbed Vince by his thin waist and crushed his lips againest the smaller mans, not caring if he was struggling. He then pulled down Vince's shirt and bit down hard on the area between his neck and his shoulder, making the goth scream in pain. Jareth licked the redish-blue wound and pulled back in satisfaction "Now you are marked as mine and always will be" He remarked sounding smug.

Vince pushed him away, more anger then ever "I have come for my friend back, you have..."

"Wait!" Jareth stopped him "I'm offering you everything you could want, a kingdom to rule by my side as my life partner. Just love me and fear me, and I will be your slave"

Vince remembered he didn't have much time left and tried to remember how sarah defeated Jareth in the film, then it clicked in his mind "You have no real power over me" The clock chimed as both the hands turned to the 13th number and Jareth started to shrink, his clothes dropping slowly into a heap before turning into an owl and flying off.


Vince soon found himself back in the front room of the flat, the clock by the tele flashing midnight. He couldn't believe his surruoundings, but remembered his friend upstairs "Howard"

He made his way upstairs and opened the door to Howard's room, flicking on the light and waking him up "Vince? What you doing.." his words were muffled though when the smaller man launched himself at him and held him tightly "Howard, I'm so sorry about before. I shouldn't have kept annoying you"

Howard just held him close and rubbed his back "It's alright. I'm sorry for yelling at you and calling you childish, if you weren't, you'd be kinda boring" Vince gave a giggle before letting him go "I'll leave you to get some more sleep then" He got up to leave for the door.

"You wouldn't believe this crazy dream I had, we were actually in that film and you kept having it off with David bowie" Howard revealed, making his friend laughed nervously "I'd believe you"

He elft and made his way to his own room, looking about to see his possesions still where they were meant to be. He sat in front of his vainty mirror and looked at the bite mark on his shoulder, remembering Jareth's words 'You are marked as mine and always will be'. He shuddered in fear, but remembered he'd defeated the goblin king, he wouldn't be bothering him again.

He looked away for a minute, then back to the mirror to see Ludo sitting on the bed behind him "Goodbye Vince" It called out.

Then Sir Didymus appeared "And remember fair sir, if you need us..." Then he disappeared and Hoggle appeared "Yes, if you need us for any reason at all..."

Vince smiled "But I do need you, all of you, every now and again in my life. I'm not sure why though, not really a reason, just nice to have friends everywhere, normal, strange or magical"

"Well, why didn't you say so?" He turned around to see everyone then gathered around the bed. Ludo, Hoggle, Didymus, the old man with the bird-hat, some of the fireys and some of the goblins, he hugged them all as they started a small party in his room. Vince hoped they weren't making too much noise to wake his best friend, he didn't really want to explain this.

Outside, watching the party though his bedroom window, an owl was pearched on a branch before flying off into the starlit night.


Finally finish! I would like to thank everyone for all their reviews and ideas, epsically violence4, stars of andromeda and beechwood0708. My next project will be another crossover, only the sequal to 'the mummy boosh' where they get transported into the mummy returns hehe. from chugirl2526.