It couldn't be…it just couldn't be.
Everyone's eyes immediately darted to the heart monitor…and the sight before left them speechless and stunned.
The vertical lines detecting Dean's heart beat were back.
"Holy shit!" replied two of the doctors in unison as all four doctors in the room immediately ran over to Dean.
"What the hell," was all John could muster up as his eyes darted to his elder son and then to his youngest.
"He's a…he's alive." Sam replied just as shocked as everyone else. "HE'S ALIVE DAD!" Sam was smiling so hard John could have sworn the kid's face was going to get plastered that way.
"Holy shit Sammy…how did you…" and he turned to look at the doctors, "How the hell did he…"
"The force Sam was applying to Dean's chest…it was enough to get it beating again." And the doctor turned to look at Sam. "Kid, you just saved your brother's life."
Sam was speechless but the smile on his face and the new light in his eyes said it all.
"Is he…so he's going to be okay?" John asked still shocked and amazed at the events that unfolded in front of him just seconds ago.
"He's still in a coma…but he's alive. He'll have some bruising on his chest and we have to do a scan to see if he broke any ribs but the rest we'll have to see when he wakes."
The doctor turned to look at Sam. "This may be the understatement of the century, but he's lucky to have a brother like you…he'd be dead right now if it wasn't for you."
"Doc, what about the bruising and broken ribs." Sam was still worried
"Even if he does have broken ribs and bruising…it's a small price to pay for being alive."
And that was something Sam could definitely agree with.
Within the next hour or so they had taken the x-rays on Dean's chest, with Sam right there beside him of course, and there were no broken ribs. Sam was relieved, the last thing his brother needed was more pain.
As Sam , Dean and John settled back into Dean's room, the day's events were starting to take its toll on the youngest hunter.
"Sammy why don't you get some rest son, you look exhausted."
"No, I'm fine dad, I just wanna stay with Dean."
John knew there was no point in arguing, if there's one thing he knew for sure, trying to pry one of his sons from the other when either was hurt, was next to impossible.
"Sammy…what you did today…you saved Dean's life."
"He would've done the same for me," Sam replied as he sat beside Dean's bed holding his hand.
"I know…" John replied as he starred at his children with pride. The relationship Sam and Dean had was one of a kind, that, John was certain of. He had never known a connection between two individuals that was even half as amazing and deep as the one between his two sons, and to be completely honest, he felt a little left out.
There was also that other question gnawing at his brain….why hadn't he tried to save Dean when the doctors said he was dead, why wasn't he the one to go over and pound on Dean's chest? It was as if he had just accepted Dean's death without a fight. After Mary's death he stopped believing in miracles and second chances…maybe that's why he had accepted Dean's death. But he tried to ignore the shame and guilt he had about this because he knew Sam didn't need to hear it, not now, not ever.
As John watched Sam talking to Dean, willing him to wake up, he almost felt like an outsider…an intruder. That was his own fault, he knew that for a fact. John wasn't really around when Sam and Dean were growing up, well, he was…but he wasn't. Even when he was around he wasn't always mentally there. His children had grown up practically without a parent, taking care of each other, and mostly Dean taking care of them both.
To say John was proud of his children would be an understatement. He had an enormous sense of respect for them, for what they had been through and survived, and what they continue to go through and survive. John knew that no matter what happened to him, as long as Sam and Dean were alive and together, they would be okay, and they would be whole.
The only thing left now was for Dean to wake up.
It had been two days since Sam's miraculous life saving shenanigans and he really needed his brother to wake up.
"Dean…if you can hear me…please…I need you to wake up," Sam said as he sat by his brother. "Besides man, you've had way more than your fair share of beauty sleep." Sam chuckled to himself. He was still worried but his mood had lightened up a little since the events that unfolded before him just days ago.
Sam placed a hand on his brother's hand and once again fell asleep. Each night before Sam slept he made sure that he was holding his brother's hand. He didn't know whether he was doing it for himself, because he needed to feel that connection to his brother, or because he was, in his own way, willing Dean to wake up. He figured it was probably a bit of both.
3 Hours Later
"S-ammy…" came a soft voice Sam barely recognized. "Sammy…" There it was again, but this time it sounded an awful lot like…
Dean…am I dreaming, Sam thought to him self.
This time Sam actually opened his eyes and the sight before him brought tears to his eyes.
"DEAN…oh god, you're awake."
Dean let out a weak but still "Dean like" sincere smile.
"I thought I was the one who had enough beauty sleep kiddo," Dean replied.
Sam raised his eyebrow, "Wait…you heard that?"
"I hear everything little brother," Dean replied with a sheepish grin.
Sam practically jumped out of his seat and hugged Dean.
"You have no idea how good it is to have you back Dean." No idea
"Easy there kiddo," came a voice from the doorway. "You don't wan'na suffocate your brother when he just woke up."
By the time Sam looked up, his father was right by Dean's bed.
"How you feelin' kiddo."
"Just peachy, dad," Dean replied weakly
At that, both Sam and John laughed, you knew Dean was back when sarcasm ruled conversations with him.
The doctor was the next person in the room.
"Welcome back to the land of the conscious," replied the doctor.
"Good to be back," Dean replied. "As long as you don't make me eat any of that hospital food…cuz' I might just choose to go back into a coma." Dean chuckled to himself.
"That's not funny Dean," Sam replied with a stern face.
"Too early for the jokes…gotcha," Dean replied out loud.
The doctor checked Dean's vitals and said that everything was looking good. The doctor then left the room to give John and Sam some time with Dean.
John could see that Sam and Dean needed to talk so he too left the room to go see how quickly Dean could get checked out.
Sam took a seat beside Dean's bed again, and Dean could see that Sam was thinking, which was never a good sign.
"What's going on in that freaky head of yours Sam."
Sam didn't say anything for a few seconds, and then decided to speak.
"You scared us Dean…scared me."
"O great, time for a touchy feely HUGE chick flick moment," Dean thought to himself. But he figured he could give Sam at least that, I mean he did put the kid through hell.
" I know I did Sammy, but you got'ta understand dude, it comes with the territory."
"It didn't have to this time," Sam said as he continued to stare a hole into the ground.
"I could've stopped it…I could've prevented all this."
Dean could see the guilt eating away at Sam, and as much as he was pissed at his brother when he didn't come with him back in Palo Alto, Dean would be lying if he said he could bear to see his brother in any sort of pain, even the pain that comes from guilt.
"No Sammy, you couldn't of."
"If I had come with you…if I wasn't such an ass back in Palo Alto, I could've stopped this…I coulda stopped that sonuvabitch from hurting you."
"No Dean, don't…don't excuse me outta this one. I almost lost you Dean, all cuz I was too damn stubborn and mad at dad to come back you up. I should've had your back…you almost died…"
"Yeah, but I didn't Sammy."
"No thanks to me," Sam replied hanging his head in shame yet again. "Dean…I'm sorry."
"Sammy you don't haveta be sorry dude."
"Yeah I do Dean…Dean those things I said to you back in Palo Alto, I didn't mean them, well not all of them, and I never meant to hurt you by saying them. I was just angry with dad, not you, and it wasn't fair for me to take it out on you."
It was Dean's turn to look at the ground now.
"Don't worry bout it Sam."
Sam could see the hurt flash in Dean's eyes as he was sure that his big brother was remembering all the horrible things Sam had said to him. The fact that Dean had said "Sam" instead of Sammy just made Sam realize even more how much he had hurt Dean.
"Dean I really am sorry…"
"I know Sammy, it's okay."
Sam smiled, the "Sammy" was back, but the guilt was anything but gone.
"How come you never told me about the whole firefighting gig u gave up?" Sam questioned preparing himself for Dean's reaction to him knowing.
"Come again?" Dean's eyes were growing wide, "What the hell, Sam can't know, how does he know?"
"I know the truth Dean, I know you gave up firefighting so I could go to school."
"Sonuvabitch! Who the hell told you that!"
"Well that's just freakin wonderful!" Dean yelled as he looked away.
"Dean don't be mad, I kinda pushed it outta him."
At that Dean looked at Sammy and after a few seconds let out a smirk.
"Why am I not surprised," Dean replied with a chuckle. Sam returned the grin but then turned serious.
"Dean why didn't you tell me?" Sam asked watching Dean intently.
"There was nothing to tell Sammy." He really didn't want to talk about this with Sam, but he had a feeling his brother wasn't going to let it go until they did.
"Like hell! You could've told me you got in!"
"Yeah…and what good would that've done huh? If I told you, you'd jus' try and talk me into leaving with you, and there was no way we could both leave dad and there was no way I'd have let you stay back and not go to Stanford."
"We could've figured something out," Sam replied unconvincingly.
"You know that's bull Sammy, there was nothing to figure out, either I do the firefighting thing and you stay home, or you go to Stanford and I stay home, there was no other option, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna send you off to Stanford feeling guilty, so I kept my mouth shut."
"Look Sammy, I knew you wanted to get away from this life, away from us, you wanted a new life…I get that, I mean I didn't like it but I got it, and I wanted you to enjoy it, not feel guilty about it."
Sam was taken aback by what he had just heard. "Dean thinks I wanted to get away from him?"
"Dean I never wanted to get away from you…how could you even think that?"
"Well you left didn't you?" was the simple, yet heart wrenching answer. It came out barely a whisper but Sam heard it nonetheless.
"Cuz' I was mad at dad and I wanted to get away from his obsession…never from you."
"Sammy, I was the one who raised you, dad was barely around when we were growing up, so when you left it wasn't you leaving dad, when you left…you left me behind, and you never looked back," Dean replied knowing full well how sappy he sounded, but he could care less right now, he was hurting and if Sam was so hell bent on talking, well then Dean was going to say it how it is. At the most, if Sam was to ever bring up this conversation again, he figured he could blame it on temporary insanity from being in a hospital for too long.
"Dean…no it wasn't like that," Sam replied as he sensed the tears threatening to fall.
"Sammy you never even called man. I called you so many times, and not once did you call back. You shut me out of your life completely," Dean replied. "Look Sammy, I'm not mad that you did it, I'm proud of you for everything you've accomplished, I'm proud that you went to school…more proud than you'll ever know."
"Dean…I'm so sorry, but I swear to you, I didn't wan'na leave you behind, and don't you dare think that for a second. I'm sorry I didn't stop to think what it would to you, I was just so angry with dad and I had to get out of the house, see what else was out there. But Dean, a day didn't go by that I didn't miss you. To tell you the truth, it took everything in me to actually get on that bus and leave you, I almost didn't you know, so many times I thought of telling the bus driver to drive back 'cuz I couldn't imagine living a life without you. During the bus ride I even walked up to the bus driver cuz I was ready to tell him to turn around, until he gave me a cold look and told me I shouldn't be standing while the bus is moving."
Dean looked up at Sam.
"Got yelled at by a bus driver…smooth geekboy," Dean replied with a smirk.
At that, both he and Sam laughed, but Sam continued.
"I felt like half of me was missing since the day I left, ever since I've been at Stanford I've felt that way, the only time it went away was when you came to get me in Palo Alto," Sam continued fully intending on letting Dean know everything and know just how much he meant to him. "And about the phone calls…you don't know how badly I wanted to call you, but I knew that if I heard your voice or spoke to you, I'd leave Stanford and come back…and I couldn't do that."
Sam had Dean's full attention. This was the most serious conversation the boys had had in years, but it was one they definitely needed to have.
"Dean, you're not just my big brother, you're my best friend, and nothing and no one will ever change that, no matter where I am. Ask Jess man, half the time all I do is talk about you."
"Yeah, I get that a lot," Dean replied with a cocky grin. As girly as this conversation was, Dean wouldn't have had it any other way. Hearing his brother say those things, say how important he is to him, Dean may not admit it to Sam, but he needed to hear that stuff, he needed to hear that he was still important in his little brother's life.
Sam laughed at Dean's cocky remark, and he was just as glad as Dean to be having this conversation.
"Dean, you'll always be the most important person in my life, and if it came down to it and I had to choose between you and Stanford and everything that goes along with Stanford, I wouldn't haveta think twice…you come before everything…and everyone," Sam replied as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.
"O god, we're not gonna haveta hug or anything are we," Dean whined at Sam.
Sam let out a laugh.
"Not unless you want to," Sam joked, knowing very well that even if his brother did want a hug, he'd never admit it. Both boys then fell silent.
"…thanks…for you know…what you said."
"I meant every word Dean," Sam said as he smiled and this time actually leaned over to hug his brother. Dean hugged him back without hesitation; both boys needed this more than they would admit.
Just then John and the doc entered the room.
"How you feeling Dean?" asked the doc.
"More awake, don't think I'll be running a marathon anytime soon though," joked Dean.
The doc let out a laugh.
"Well you're lucky you even have the chance to consider a marathon, you have your brother to thank for that," replied the doc as he turned to look at Sam.
"I do?" asked Dean.
"You were dead Dean, we had called your death, but your brother here, he's persistent, never gave up on you, you feel that bruising on your chest?"
"Do I ever!" replied Dean subconsciously moving one of his hands to his chest.
"That was Sammy over there, he started pounding on your chest to get your heart beating, we all thought he was crazy, but he pretty much told us to go to hell."
"That's my boy," Dean thought to himself.
"He got your heart pumping. To tell you boys the truth I've never seen such devotion by anyone. You're lucky to have each other, you share something really special…don't ever lose that," Doc replied as he smiled at the boys, and then left the room.
Dean looked over at Sam as they both smiled at each other. If Sam's words earlier weren't convincing enough, what the doc just said sure was. Dean realized how important he still was to Sam, and that meant more to him than life itself. And as they looked at each other, no words were necessary.
"Thanks for not giving up on me little brother."
"I'll always fight for you Dean."
"Dean, doc said you can be out'ta here in a couple of days," John said with a smile on his face.
"Couple days…If I had it my way I'd be out'ta here today," Dean mumbled to himself, thinking that no one heard, but of course he was wrong.
"Not gon'na happen big brother, you're gettin' the 100 clear before we leave this place," Sam replied.
"Sure thing Francis," Dean laughed looking at Sam.
THE END- Well this is it, thanks for sticking with me guys, hope you enjoyed the story!!!!