The stars are beautiful tonight. This is all I can think about, even though there are so many other things that should be crowding my mind. Maybe I refuse to think of those things. I turn to glance at the man sitting beside me and grip his hand tighter; reassuring myself he is still there.
He turns with a half smile on his face and I watch as the little light we have manages to catch his face in a way that is ethereal. I tell him this even though there are so many other things we should be discussing. He smiles again and I know if it was lighter I would see pink dusting his pale cheeks.
I lean forward and press my forehead against his and his eyes slip shut, mine following soon after. I feel him shift, keeping our foreheads touching, and wrap the hand that isn't already gripping me into a hug and pull me closer.
I allow my head to drop to his shoulder and breathe deeply, reveling in his scent. My hands move involuntary to clutch at his shirt, finding slight comfort in his heartbeat. "This is the last time, and I swear I will return to you." I hear the whisper but don't acknowledge it. If I responded it would lead to a conversation I don't want to have.
We only have tonight to be alone together for who knows how long, and serious conversation cannot invade this moment. So I tighten my hand and pull him closer, biting gently at the pulse in the neck and hearing the soft moan.
I shift until I'm in his lap; our hands still clasped together and raise my head to look at his eyes. They are blue like mine, only darker and much more intense. "I love you; please never forget that." His eyes narrow slightly and suddenly I'm on my back and he is on top of me, his weight reassuring and perfect. "How could I ever forget?" He asks, and I realize he's as scared as I am.
I lean up and press our lips together, sweetly at first and then rougher and more desperate as the feelings I've tried to repress finally threaten to consume me. Tomorrow he will leave and once again I will be at home waiting, making myself sick with worry as I wait for his return. He will face danger and almost die more times then I want to know. He will have nightmares for months after, remembering the battles and the blood and I will be there to hold him and wish I could have been there with him.
But for tonight it is just us and the stars.